notesofinspiration

[notesofinspiration]

Where can I buy a jet ski? Because this was way too much fun. 🌊🌊🌊 #Halifax #canada #jetski #water #harbor #watersports #afternoon #travel #dothings #city #livingmybestlife (at Halifax, Nova Scotia)

[notesofinspiration]

One thing I love about Canada.

I just got back home to Halifax.

Walking down the street to catch my bus. Someone says good morning out of the blue.

LOVE

I need change for the bus so I don't over pay. Once I get to my stop I ask a couple of guys if they had change for my toonie. They just give me a bus ticket.

LOVE

So refreshing. People helping others and caring about others.

What a wonderful world it can be.

[notesofinspiration]

I've loved and lost.

I can remember my freshly beating heart awe over love stories. Growing up I was inspired to believed that love is magnificent (which it is) unfortunately, I've grown and experienced tragedies that run deep within the veins connecting to my heart.

I never had good experiences with most of my old boyfriends, expect the last. He showed me the beauty of partnership, trust and commitment. Unfortunately we both needed time to grow and find ourselves. We both went on our own paths, and our paths will always cross, but our dynamic has changed.

I met someone over the summer. I never really thought it would be just a summer fling. I met him in Europe and he claims to have fallen for me the moment we spent time together with a friend. He wasn't on my radar, but that changed with weeks.

He made me feel special, he told me his feelings for me, and his actions made me feel secure about his words. Unfortunately, I was dealing with a recent death in my family. I felt guilty for feeling happy. He told me he would wait for me, and I really believed him.

We spent time together over a few weeks before we both started traveling Europe. By the end of those weeks I realized I had started thinking seriously of him and I.

He lives in another country. I was never keen on a long distance relationship, and I'm too much of a realistic person.

More time passed, and I realized why am I not living in the moment, why can't a lo g distance situation work? Why am I stopping myself from being happy?

All of my life I'd follow my families rules, even though I didn't believe in them.

All my life I lived to please others.

So why couldn't I finally do something that actually made me happy?

I decided to switch my initial travel plans and meet him in Germany. I got food poisioning and he took care of me.

It's rare I let anyone help me. Really, I'm stubborn. I've worked so hard in my life, I don't believe I deserve to stop. I don't believe in others helping me because I feel its my job to help and please others.

I let him take care of me, and that's when I let my guard down.

His words through messages as we departed for a couple of weeks kept my heart beating. His kind words filled my soul with love. Something I had yet to feel since I was young and innocent.

As much as I loved his words, as much as I started liking him, I felt guilty about the situation.

My sisters birthday was coming up, and her death left me so vulnerable where I couldn't fall for someone. I couldn't let myself be happy.

I would tease him about other girls.

He said he could never, even if we weren't together he said it would feel like cheating.

He made his phone background my face.

He told me he loved me.

He told me he wanted to be with me forever.

How could I not find comfort and happiness through someone who was being so sweet and kind to me?

I've been dealing with my sisters suicide all alone, and it was the first time I wanted to actually open up and talk about it. He gave me the strength to see the beauty im this world once again.

I completely fell for him.

He changed his travel plans and met me in Spain. I speant her birthday with him at a beach and I was happy that he was there with me. He made me feel better, with just looking at me. He brought me this sense of security and love.

My sister who was 7 years younger than me was my sister/daughter. I took care of her, fees her, picked her up from school. Many of her friends thought I was her mother. (Which was weird since I was 14 and she was 7)

Her death will always linger with me, but while accepting his love I realized once I have my own kids that's when that void would be filled.

I started thinking long term, I started realistically planning my life around us. Yet, I was still being held back.

I had been talking to another guy in Paris months before I met him. To be fair, I wanted to talk to the Paris guy in person and end it. Becauaw of this situation I always kept my feelings hidden and distant with this new guy. Aka. I would push him away.

I ended up switching my travel plans to go spend one last night with this guy. He took me to a musical and later that night a walk. He confessed he felt he didn't know what to do. He wanted to be with me, but he felt that I wasn't sure about him. He told me he was at the cusp of giving up on me.

I jumped the gun

Asked him to be my boyfriend.

I regretted it the next morning. I wasn't ready.

It wouldn't have been fair to the other guy, but also myself. As much as I knew I wanted to be with him, I was still unsure of my capability to show him the love I thought he deserved.

My sisters suicide was a mixture of things, but the final straw had to do with her long distance relationship.

I needed more time.

So I broke up with him - and as he says that changed everything.

I hurt him. I can see why, but at the same time I don't. My loyalty was always with him, all I did was remove the label. But, regardless this hurt him. He started acting different, he stopped making me feel special and the whole thing slowly started going down hill.

We both kept traveling.

I think this was a good distraction to both of us, but it didn't hit rock bottom until he got home. He started talking to this other girl. She told him she had feelings for him, and that's when the whole thing changed.

I recently had a flight to his home city where we met.

The love, passion and hope was gone.

I became jealous, stressed and overwhelmed.

I let myself fall for someone, who's feelings changed within a short period of time? How could I let myself be this vulnerable?

I regret it. I do.

I'm so hurt now.

I feel like I'm back to square one. My heart is even worse now.

I don't think I'll be able to recover from this anytime soon because the intense emotion I felt for him was something that brought me goosebumps.

It was what brought a smile to my face every morning.

It's what wanted me to be the best person I could be, because he deserved it.

Now,

I'm here.

Feeling alone once again.

And all I can do is write and hope time heals this wound like it has the others in the past.

[notesofinspiration]

I have this feeling inside me

I'm really trying to let it go

This fire inside me, I can't let it grow.

This feeling is ugly, tainting my heart.

I want to move towards a new direction, a brand new start.

[notesofinspiration]

I'm heading back to Canada. My travels haven't finished but wow have I ever done a lot this summer. It never hits me, every beautiful place I've seen. This world is magnificent. Regardless if you travel or not, everything about it. Your front yard, your local park or another city over. There's beauty everywhere.

[notesofinspiration]

“My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you.”

— Cassandra Clare, City of Glass (The Mortal Instruments, #3)

[notesofinspiration]

Once upon I time I was falling in love.

It was so beautiful, the feelings that derived.

I could never get you off my mind.

And it was such a beautiful time.

Now I realized, how silly I was for falling.

Thinking I'd get caught and be safe.

But here I am, falling on my face.

[notesofinspiration]

A punching bag would be ideal.

[notesofinspiration]

Antes cuando yo quería todos se reían de mi pobre amor. Ahora que estoy diferente que cariñosamente me dan su corazón.

[notesofinspiration]

Grateful to have seen so many beautiful things. 🌻 Curious to see what's to come! 🌎 New adventures ahead. #spain #adventure #latina #explore #architecture #castle #sunrise #sunflower #seville #granada #zaragoza #grateful #girlswhotravel #insta #post (at Spain)

[notesofinspiration]

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.

[notesofinspiration]

Sometimes I think you are the one for me.

Something amazing and stress free.

But then I take a moment to see,

A mess in my reflection you couldn't believe.

[notesofinspiration]

It was a love that ended too soon.

When I look up at the sky,

Shining stars and a glowing moon.

I think of you.

[notesofinspiration]

[notesofinspiration]

Beautiful Seville, Spain

[notesofinspiration]

Just pause a moment.

Breathe a little.

Take a little time.

Think a second.

Feel the energy.

Sing a little chime.

[notesofinspiration]

Emotions start to spark, thinking of our nights in the dark.

Take me another night, and never let me out of your sight.

Let's make love until the sunrise, and stare into each other's eyes.

Filling us with love, that no one could dream of.

Something so beautiful it lifts us up so high.

Past the sky; through the fabric of time.

Where I am forever yours, and you will be forever mine.