nomy610 - Tumblr blog

[nomy610]

Reading for me now is like:

Which world should I escape to?

[nomy610]

Lazy

I understand how serious the situation is with the pandemic outburst,

but i have to admit that i really like staying at home and relaxing without having to leave the house to do anything and being able to work from home

I believe i am blessed on that front as i do not have to daily face the anxiety of daily continuous communication with others

[nomy610]

Kind of depressing...

But i really envy those people who always have ideas, the outgoing and creators ones

Just talking sometimes makes me anxious, and feeling that i should have great ideas is not helping when leading a team

[nomy610]

finally vacation, and for the first time ever; uninstalled the work mail to stop checking my mail

[nomy610]

Asking more than 1 person's opening before buying the dress is annoying

What someone like, the other does not like

[nomy610]

I think after interviewing me, they will rethink their whole recruitment process

[nomy610]

I think after interviewing me, they will reconsider their whole recruitment process

[nomy610]

I kind of always go with the flow, do not have a dream nor determination to choose anything, the only kind of determination i have is getting the current job done but i never assign to myself anything nor do i make any decision

People who just make these types of decisions always amaze me and always makes me wonder, will i ever get to take this kind of decisions and do something that even if not against the flow but with the determination of someone who takes responsibility of her actions...

May be this is why i like reading novels, because i like reading about people taking decisions and initiatives

And even when it is a major decision, why do i always go with the flow, it is like not taking it seriously although it is really serious for me and will affect others

In the end i can not (and do not really want to) put my heart in anything

[nomy610]

After an interview

Me main thought after an interview is "i loathe myself"

[nomy610]

Forgot to charge me phone, now i am standing in a queue where my number is 214 and the current number is 183..

I do now know what to regret more

[nomy610]

For some reason, all out visitors bring with then banana

I all really grateful; but is everyone mistaking is for monkeys?

[nomy610]

Annoying colleague

How should i handle a work colleague who talks to me as if i can not handle my responsibility

Does not read the mail and complain and blame others for the consequences

[nomy610]

It’s totally okay to say “you know what, this isn’t making me happy” and to walk away from whatever or whoever is keeping you from the happiness you deserve

[nomy610]

I have been working for 5 years, being underestimated in my job is really frustrating, and what is worse than that, being told that i am not a team player when i argue is more frustrating

And working on same thing for more than 5 month and hear in the end someone who did not even look at the code telling me what i should do is really frustrating

And hearing someone taking about what i am to do is also annoying, especially if i did not ask for his point of view.

And knowing that even if i finished early, There will be no acknowledgement in order not to prove him wrong, so i will have nothing to do because of the vain pride of another person who thinks that this way everything will be right.

I need a better challenge than that that i am thinking that i would better leave the project, it is nothing

[nomy610]

I am not sure what i want to do on my life, sometimes i think of stability and others of traveling and working abroad.

But i have no self esteem and i do not think that i will survive and no matter how much i want to be a mother and housewife, i do not see this coming at all, since the are no suiters any more and my recent love interest was Amir who was married and mouslem.

I need an answer to one question, why am i still alive?

Life is mainly lonely and you work really hard to be able to eat, no self esteem that i can use in order to apply for another job and i am in almost a comfort zone

Not progressing anywhere because there is nothing i can do to move forward.

Even the idea of marriage for me feels weird and just a nice idea because i do not really think that there is a person who may actually like me or have feelings for me

So why am i still alive? Just to see what happens to other? All my old friends are married and most of them have children, Am i just supposed to watch others have what i want and think that i am not having and not sure if i will ever have?

Everyone treats me like a weird person and no matter how much i like it, i want to find my weird person

[nomy610]

Amir is leaving the company, i am not sure about my feelings for him, but i will really miss him 😢😢

I think alot that if i am to marry, i want to marry someone like him.

I think he is the coolest person i have ever actually met, but he is not the sentimental type, so i try to also be cool.

He said he will miss me, that makes me happy that he said it and i was not able to reply

[nomy610]

Leading conversation into emotional blackmail (taking everything you want as you do not love the other person)

Anger from the other side (the card of emotional blackmail is played alot that it becomes frustrating and can not hold a conversation properly)

Spiteful action (as far as i see it, you choose a wrong option that harms you more making yourself believe that you a victim waiting for the other side to be guilty for driving you to take that decision)

Self centered (you totally forget that the other side has his own life, will not think you took the decision to make him guilty, making the decision itself useless)

Having a conversation with Mom who is the best person to practice emotional blackmail is damaging, I easily feel guilty in any conversation, i do not insist on my openion and if i insisted and we reached middle ground, I feel guilty about it and she calls me stubborn

Even with conversation with other people, i can not win an argument without feeling bad about it and i can not say my honest openion in allot of things especially if i know the other one is lying, i have no confrontation ability

Even telling my Mom that i want a separate room makes her say there is no love that way (I am 29 years old and still have no privacy what so ever - i understand that other people have bigger problems but that does not make me feel better about mine)