nomoremori

[nomoremori]

i think ultimately you do really have to kill that part of your brain that vividly imagines how you would redo parts of your life.

[nomoremori]

shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

[nomoremori]

Камчатка. Курильское озеро.

Денис Будьков

[nomoremori]

[nomoremori]

Making > Consuming

The solution for the eternal child’s desperation is simply to do. Make art, write, clean without thinking, get off the phone [in a word create things and learn to sit with the mistakes, by doing this you accept death by dwelling in the world instead of dwelling in the postponement of fantasy (“i’ll do that when i grow up”)]. Consumption harkens back to life in the womb when everything was provided. We must assert to the subconscious that we are capable of existing in the world by doing things. It’s incredibly difficult, painful, and circuitous but I’m realizing that it’s the only way, because there is no parent who’s going to take care of me anymore.

[nomoremori]

[nomoremori]

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

[nomoremori]

to have failed is a sign you tried…. the mistakes, the relationships that didn’t make it, the job you didn’t get, the plans that fell through…. you tried, you lived, you loved.

[nomoremori]

Eggman: I need you to collect the chaos emeralds so I can put them into the eclipse canon and threaten to blow up the world!

Rouge and Shadow:

[nomoremori]

New York

[nomoremori]

big day today

[nomoremori]

having to be “mature” at a young age sucks bc you aren’t really “mature-mature” you’re a child playing at a maturity bc you don’t have the foundation to be the bigger person when conflict arrives so what you do is ignore it bc ignoring a problem and being happy about a resolution look the same to your inexperienced eyes. Then you get adults praising you for a development above your peers but you aren’t really developing. You’re stagnant. Your peers will grow up and experience things and make mistakes and grow from them but you will keep yourself in this box, ignoring things ignoring ignoring ignoring until one day you have to face the fact… it wasn’t maturity you had. It was fear. And now you’re an adult too and you make all of your choices based on an emotional risk/costs analysis bc you don’t know any emotion other than fear & you have to start healing from your own childhood by making peace that you weren’t really a mature child. You were just a child who was given too much to carry & didn’t know how to say “no”.

[nomoremori]

[nomoremori]

Pharmakon.  Boston, Massachusetts.  January 12, 2013.

[nomoremori]

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

[nomoremori]

ghost ranch, abiquiu new mexico

[nomoremori]

self indulgence isn’t self respect, giving yourself every unhealthy thing you want isn’t self respect, babying yourself and having no deadlines or hard and fast rules for how to live would not be how u treat someone whose intelligence and work ethic you respect …….you have to act out of respect for your Self first and foremost