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not to be dramatic but i need a monster cock inside of me yesterday or i’m going to die

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can we please get the first saints row remastered. i need to see dex in HD. my man’s drip was unmatched.

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do you think the saints/ultor media division makes p0rn. do you think they shoot it in the penthouse and people in the comments are like wait lmao this is the same apartment from keeping up with the saints.

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blurb | this isn’t very good, but i wanted to write something for him. i miss him so much

18+, gn!reader

“No te preocupes.” Carlos reassures, heatedly pressing his front against your back. “Boss won’t be back for another few hours.”

It was a bit uncharacteristic to see him so bold and daring. He was always the opposite. But with the flushing on his face and the obvious need in his touches, maybe it wasn’t so out of character.

“I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” You mumble in vain. Your back arches, rubbing your ass against his clothed hard on. It induces a soft whine from his lips and he responds by grinding back, arms wrapping around your torso and arms.

His hold tightens with every grind and to hide his lust, he buries his face into the crook of your neck. Short, breathy moans escape both your lips. The need for more was prevented by a few, thin layers of fabric.

“B-baby, I’m going to cum in my pants if you keep doing that..” he groans pathetically, but his hips don’t stop and you don’t respond. You simply push back, mouth agape and face a deep shade of red. There’s a sound of faraway footsteps that are ever so slowly becoming louder. It only encourages you both to speed up your piteous humping until there’s an obvious wet patch soaking both of your clothes. It’s not the most satisfying orgasm, but it would have to do for now.

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carlos mendoza, my beloved

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at some point i need to make a properly constructed pinned post with the fandoms im involved in/write for. but for the time being i’ll make this quick post with tags. feel free to send me dirty asks if you just wanna chat or have a request. it’s not a guarantee that I’ll process your request, but I’m open to them as long as it’s something I think i can complete. i just write for funsies.

also, i really only write smut. there’s very little smut stuff I won’t write. but ill make that list eventually. in the mean time, if you’ve got some dark shit on ya mind send it over. idgaf.

i only do canon x reader (f!reader and gn!reader are what im most comfortable with, but willing to give other reader types a try)

this is a pretty lazy post so if you want clarification just ask. and if there’s a fandom in the tags you don’t see, doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t write for it. likely forgot to include it, so again: just ask .

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lmao almost forgot to post this on here:

so i got a pair of nipple clamps and they come with a bell!!! they’re so cute and so much fun. like, im horny but im also giddy bc of how fun they are 😭

so anyways here’s a vid of me being dumb:

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holy shit i become cock drunk so easily

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blurb | chris, please treat me like shit

18+, gn!reader

Chris’s calloused hand gripped tightly at your jaw, fingers digging deep into each cheek. The motion forces your mouth open, tongue rolling out like some pathetic dog. He examines you for a brief moment, relishing your obedience. His lips purse and with a quick pft, spits directly into your mouth.

“Fucking swallow it.”

Eagerly you do, eyes shining in delight. A big, dumb smile crosses your lips as you patiently await his response. If you had a tail, it would probably be wagging. You were being so good for him.

There’s a smirk on his lips, but it’s gone from your line of sight when he smacks you across the face. His movements are quick and skillful as the same hand that had just struck you now finds its way behind your neck, pulling you into a sloppy tongue swap.

“Such a good little bitch.”

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these doctors sure weren’t lying when they said that your 20s are your most fertile years. jfc im humping my damn pillow from how hot i am rn. made the mistake of trying to distract myself by going on tumblr, but now i just wanna get absolutely railed and slutted out by all of task force 141.

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blurb | the vision came to me while I was fucking myself

18+, f!reader.

When Peter aired his insecurities to his friends, he had done so in confidence. Lately he had been feeling a bit jealous, and maybe even a bit of low self esteem when he explained that his girlfriend had been looking at others. Though he didn’t intend to, there was an implication of distrust. Bringing to question her loyalty. His friends simply reassured him, telling him that he was being paranoid.

So when Peter came home to his girlfriend laid across the coffee table on her back with Miguel situated happily in between her legs and Noir right at her face with his cock stuffed down her throat, his worries had been instantly confirmed.

Miguel immediately notices him, his thrusts unrelenting.

“Al fin llegas, hermano.” There’s an almost smug smile to his tone. A smirk on his lips. “We were thinking about what you said about her. Thought maybe we’d check it out and look out for you.”

Peter is deathly silent, listening as his girlfriend releases filthy wanton noises. Eyes laser focused on the drool slipping at the sides of her mouth as she skillfully sucks away at the cock fucking her mouth. He then runs his eyes down her form, taking in her arched back and her soaked inner thighs from previous climaxes.

“Think you were right. She’s definitely looking at other people.”

Noir hasn’t even bothered to acknowledge Peter. It’s obvious he’s too busy indulging in the warm, wet hole giving him pleasure. His hands run down to her breasts, roughly groping at them and pinching and pulling at the nipples.

Peter should be mad, he subconsciously tells himself. Furious that his girlfriend turned out to be such a cheating slut. That his supposed friends had been nothing but a pair of snakes that went right under his nose to get to her. But, all those intense feelings had converted into something more humiliating. And the uncomfortable tightening in between his legs made that very known.

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blurb | im such a fucking sub, but sheesh. the shit I wouldn’t do to this cute, innocent man 😮‍💨

18+, gn!reader

Nishida’s hands courageously, yet shaking found themselves gently squeezing at the shoulders of the individual situated comfortably between his legs. This prompted them to pull away with a noisy ‘pop’ allowing Nishida’s member to bounce back and slap against his lower abdomen.

“What‘s wrong, Nishida?”

“I-“ Although he had a plethora of thoughts going through his mind throughout the duration of their carnal activities, he found that he was unable to verbally express them how he wished. “(Y-Y/N), we shouldn’t be doing this..”

They tilted their head cutely to the side, sporting a faux confused expression. “What’d’ya mean, Nishida?”

“Well, um, y’know for starters- ” His eyes looked anywhere but their face, afraid that direct eye contact would give them the upper hand. Unfortunately for Nishida, he would find that they would find other methods to do so. “-someone could walk in on us.”

(Y/N) hummed, pushing for him to continue. As he did so, they laid velvety kisses against his clothed inner thighs, earning a small hiss in between his weak reasoning. They continue their actions, absentmindedly listening to his words as they slowly become nothing more than slurred babbling. The kisses slowly inch themselves closer and closer to his hardened cock until they meet the base of it. Nishida knows he’s saying something, but he’s just not sure what. He wonders if it even matters as a short lick to the base of his cock has him desperately wanting for more.

(Y/N) simply smiles sweetly up at Nishida following his lack of voice. “What’s wrong with wanting to reward my favorite employee?”

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blurb | i’m a fictional man’s whore. want him to make me a single mother.

18+ , fem!reader / reposting again and hopefully it shows up in the tags this time. 🙄

“gonnacomegonnacome-“ her parroting words are suddenly cut off by a screaming moan, lower half pulling away from the thick cock relentlessly impaling her as she squirts out her release, soaking the sheets beneath.

a small tut of disapproval can be heard above her followed by a hard, swift smack to her rear.

“darling,” peter hums. “i told you to hold it in.”

she doesn’t respond right away, instead she shakily reaches to his cock trying to insert it back inside her. “i-im sorry. you feel too good.”

seeing this, he harshly pushes himself back in her and resumes his onslaught against her weeping, sensitive hole. thick gloved hands find their away at her shoulder blades, pushing her upper body deep into the mattress while leaving her ass arched in the air. the new angle ripped a higher volume of sounds from her throat.

“I suppose you can’t help it.”

with a particular hard thrust, his cock is forcefully pushed out as another gushing orgasm exits her body.

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I’ve been on twitter being a subtle horny bitch bc i can’t comfortably post all the lewd thoughts and pictures I want but then I remembered I had this account.

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the smile burger incident (2006)

my bf finally finished yakuza kiwami 2!! 

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so I hung out with a guy recently and I made it very clear before and during that it was just that: hanging out. two buddies chilling. a couple of friends just kicking it.

towards the end right before we departed he hits me with “so is this a date?”

i know that bitch was taken aback when I quickly deadpanned with “no, it’s a hangout”. so cool, we leave and he sends a text message with “sorry if I made things awkward, I didn’t want to misinterpret you”.

misinterpret me ????

how much more clearer can I get than:

“yeah, I’m not interested in dating. I enjoy my freedom”

“I want to remain single”

“We’re just hanging out”

I don’t want any mother fucker hitting me with a “oh you should just be direct” or “just say no” when it clearly doesn’t fucking matter with these dipshits.

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man, this was supposed to be my yakuza/nishitani hyper fixation blog