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Damn, nothing I do will ever be enough, huh

For the sake of my mental health I'm on hiatus

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Fun lil doodle I used to loosen up my art again!!

(linework under cut)

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Donnie’s Log Entries 1244 to 1364

A fragmented retelling of Cass apocalypse series @somerandomdudelmao  Donnie edition because I’m still suffering, and rereading all the comics helps me numb the pain. TW: Medical descriptions and major character death A grand panel sparks to life as you approach it. The screen asks for a password, glitches out and without you doing anything, you are offered several files. One of them contains a great number of written entries, you skim through them: Log entry 1244: Located another cyberattack on my firewall. They are getting more frequent and cleverer, but not clever enough. Still, I need to brief my ‘assistants’ again to make sure they might detect these attempts to digitally invade our base, on their own. Insert dramatic sigh. Log entry 1247: It amazes me that Casey continues to find silly ways to pass the time and get everyone else involved in them as well. Well, mostly Leo succumbs to the shenanigans. He might deny it, but he is the kid’s surrogate father at this point. Never considered my brother to be THAT kind of family guy. Log entry 1250: This status report has been delayed due to receiving severe damage during a retrieval mission. Casey blames himself for it and to be honest, he is not entirely wrong. His eyesight is not optimal, and he tends to register danger with a slight delay. Perhaps this could be countered with the appropriate equipment. His mask might be a potential candidate, though I am not sure if he would ever willingly part with it for even a second. I am glad he is okay. Log entry 1262: Restoration of Raph’s mechanical body is complete. The stark difference in materials I had when I built him in contrast to what I have now at my disposal is infuriating. Log entry 1263: The fourteenth attempt to recreate a coffee substitute has been semi-successful. Everyone else might not be amused by my all-nighters, but they are for the sake of the resistance. My ruined sleep schedule feels like I have reclaimed a part of pre-apocalypse normalcy.

Log entry 1267: Rejuvenation Serum, Series IX shows great promise. For the first time, Mikey appears physically altered and his energy reserves are replenished. The effects of Hamato Ninpo on the body do not exactly follow common physics, which troubles any concrete estimates of the serum’s durability. More tests might be necessary. Log entry 1268: It does not adhere to any logic, that we prioritize the life of one human over that of many. Especially Leo should be more impartial in these cases, yet keeping his emotions and his tasks separated has never been his strong suit. Log entry 1269: We harvested our first batch of tomatoes that are entirely grown in an artificial environment. Recreating a proper day-night cycle has been tricky. Most seeds will be repurposed and thus our yield will continuously grow. I am looking forward to Mikey’s home-cooked pasta. It has been ten years. Log entry 1270: Casey has been affected by an ooze-quito. Presumably one of the few remaining on Earth, which is in itself a discovery. It is a shame he hangs around my twin brother so much or else I would have finally acquired a mutant of the same species as mine. Would have been quite useful for some of my experiments. I am torn whether I find the distrust that my family openly expresses toward me amusing or offensive, maybe both. I should contact Draxum soon. Log entry 1274: I blame it on the non-existing education system that Casey has a rather unique understanding of the term ‘dad’. I bet Cassandra would have been amused, too. I also finalized a prototype of a Donnie-trademark-hockey-stick. Not that these things are in any way related. Log entry 1277: We received notice of high casualties in our Boston base. The few security cameras I could tap into confirm the eye-witness reports. Log entry 1281:  April has returned to home base. Watching a vintage JJ recording has been scheduled for next Friday. The coffee substitute gradually loses its effectiveness. I need to increase the caffeine dosage to ensure its efficiency. Log entry 1300: Regular entries have been on halt for a while after I accidentally dropped some of the Rejuvenation Serum, Version X on myself. I do not remember much from this period. Merely loose impressions of some sort of blue cotton fabric, a bloody human nose, and overall blurry surroundings. It made me think of the time when I was the first one out of our batch to walk and explore the world and how much trouble I would cause our father because of this. Log entry 1303: Despite tripling my coffee consumption, I sleep in longer intervals. With the Kraang regrouping near our base, I cannot allow my body to be weakened. As soon as I am able to, I will run rudimentary tests on my vitals to ensure my continued work. Log entry 1310: Today’s health report shows anomalies in my bloodstream. To not alarm the others, I am going to conduct further tests only when they are asleep. Its source or effects are yet to be determined. Log entry 1311: Even with a regular intake of sufficient nutrition, my body mass has decreased. I need a detailed analysis of the serum portion of a blood specimen. Not an easy task when any kind of clinical equipment had been destroyed, but I would not be able to call myself the ‘last genius on Earth’ if something like that would stop me. Log entry 1313: I determined the anomaly in my blood to be of Kraang origin. It acts similar to an influenza virus. A Kraang variant with a diameter of 20 nanometres is unheard of and surely not a standard procedure if you go by the warfare strategies that they have displayed so far. I should feel honored that they devised something like this specifically for me…taking out one of the most dangerous threats from the inside sounds like something I would also come up with. After locating the specifics of this virus, I will dedicate one of my servers to run simulations of potential counteragents. Log entry 1316: Injecting antidote number 4. No signs of recovery. I keep optimizing my battle shell to fit my shrinking body, but I fear I cannot keep this up for long. Log entry 1317: Switched to pullovers, admittedly a make-shift solution. I am staying at the base for most of the time anyway and with an all-time high number of missions, everyone is too occupied to notice. I suspect either Casey or Leo will, sooner or later. They are both much more perceptive than anyone else gives them credit for. Perhaps that is why they make such a good duo. Log entry 1320: Everyone knows. I hoped to stall for more time, but after I had collapsed my family pressed me for answers. Somehow a part of me also hopes that sharing this information might aid my search for a cure. Log entry 1325: The virus behaves in no way akin to Earth variants. I keep recalculating how much time remains. Visiting the greenhouse today to notice that the Magnolia tree we could rescue from a botanical garden in Florida has recovered well and will be in full bloom next month. I hope everyone will enjoy such a rare and magnificent sight. Log entry 1327: My server found the optimal solution to my problem. However, it requires a blood product identical to mine and that simply does not exist. To recreate my blood artificially would take an environment that ceased to exist 15 years ago. I broke the news to Leo. I wanted to set his mind at ease so that he can stop reaching for insufficient options while also having to lead pivotal missions. He…didn’t take it well. Log entry 1333: With my focus shifting from searching for an antidote to securing and preserving my work and the home base for any form of contingencies was a productive decision. Not everyone agrees. Do they believe it is easy for me to just transfer some of my work to someone else, with the perfect awareness that they will not continue it with the same kind of efficiency? In all honesty, it drives me mad. My family’s rejection of taking some of my work over immediately is equally frustrating. At least their more regular presence at my lab is a welcome change of pace. Log entry 1343: Today is a great day because I got to tell the Kraang to eat shit. To be fair, I did not tell them this with mere words. Instead, I used my mystic arsenal and I mean ALL of my mystic arsenal. Consider it a kind of firework to commence the end of a great era: Mine. I could have also metaphorically dented their hull a bit further if Leo had not picked me up and dragged me away to safety. This did not diminish my sense of victory. Payback is a bitch, after all. Log entry 1355: My brothers take turns hovering over me, which hinders my work, but I do not complain. I try to focus on one task at a time and not plan far ahead. The only future that matters to me is the single logical end game: the end of this war. Log entry 1364: My heart-rate monitor woke me up today, warning me that the intervals of my heartbeat had decreased. I diagnosed myself with local paresthesia in both legs after falling off my bed, which is not a great way to start the day. Leo put me back on my mattress and said he would get Mikey, which gives me not much time to write any further notes down. The numbness spreads to my arms right now, the virus appears to have accelerated its corrosion of my nerve system. I might have a week, a few days, or hours. Just in case I activated the automatization protocol. When I do not respond to the system within 24 hours it will switch to autopilot. Not everything is ready or accounted for, but it will hold until this is all over. Nardo, if you are reading this (and I assume you will because you have always been nosey) please refrain from crying. The keypad is translucent but the hardware on my desk is not waterproof, and you will need it to - It appears the text stops here. Either the author couldn’t continue, or the rest got deleted, you don’t know for sure.

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🌻 tw// angst

this is how I'd imagine the start of the bad future timeline began vs how it ended <3

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Donnie sleeby arc 🤩🤩 he's just a bit tired guys don't worry‼️‼️ If anything isn't it good that his sleep deprived ass is finally getting some rest?? He's just taking a nap he'll wake up soon just you wait....... any minute now.............. 🙂

I can't believe this one comic update caused the entire rottmnt fandom to explode, @somerandomdudelmao has become too powerful they must be sTOPPED!

Anyway, me being a so called Free Thinker™ saw everyone making fanart of Future!Donnie.... uh...... "taking a nap" and decided to jump on the bandwagon (on a serious note, this moment was literally so well made hhhhhhhhheueueueuue no wonder everyone are freaking out)

Bonus:

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So, @somerandomdudelmao I think you noticed how impactful your Donnie arc was for all of us, so let me add my little bit to the cries of the crowd. (as my disaster twins heart bleeds)

Oh and the song is called

Unfair - by The Neighborhood

It's junky and I wouldn't call it even an animatic but it became a giff before I moved on to something resembling a animation program so... Sorry for the quality but I think that emotions still are readable.

Obviously it is a redraw from your page so I hope that doesn't bother you

Someone said something about the next stage being bargaining... And. Well. I am already at depression.

But I trust you Cass!!!

I know you will bring it to a satisfying end! But for now let us cry.

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So! I came across this:

And you have no idea what a unique emotions this thing brings me. As a story writer, as someone who knows the full context and all the spoilers. Oh my God, I can't even explain it to you...... But I can definitely tell you that if you stick around for a few more episodes of the comic. And then watch this animatic again. Oh boy, it will feel different

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Leo’s Log Entries 234 to 345

It seems you stumbled across a broken control pad. As it boosts up, the label reads ‘Property of Leo’. Most files are corrupted. You take a look at those remaining. (Cass, @somerandomdudelmao thank you so much for creating such an inspiring, wonderful and heart-breaking story. Like many others, I was deeply moved by the latest updates. I hope you don’t mind the few creative liberties I took to tell bits of the comic from Leo’s perspective.)

Log entry 234: Man, this feels weird. It’s been ages since the last time I did an entry. The previous one dates so far back that I had both of my arms still. Sweet innocent Leo with two arms, I want to slap that idiot as soon as we got time travel. Donnie told me I should make it a habit again. I guess I kept zoning out during dinner because it was sometimes difficult to process every single crazy thing that had happened within a day. So, here I am, talking to this log and letting it record me. And Dee, if you are eavesdropping, I ate our final package of froot loops, probably the last one that remained on Earth. I needed to stress-eat after you had turned me into a tangerine-sized turtle tod. I only thought it fair to be somehow compensated for that unwanted experience…

Log entry 255: Case is pacing around all night. He had returned from a mission with Donnie being seriously hurt. You would think we’ve been through stuff like this so often it doesn’t bother us anymore. Nope. Each time, I see one of my family injured, I share their pain. Not in any physical sense. More in the ‘I wish I could have done something to prevent that’ kind of hurt. I long gave up on ‘what-if’ scenarios. The present moment doesn’t give two fs about your guilt. Mikey once told me that he envies me for being so focused on the present and that he sometimes struggles to be really here with us and not be torn between the spiritual realm and the physical. I laughed like a crazy person, and I think he misunderstood me. To me, it was the other way around. I miss Dad so much and I had no means of reaching him. Kinda ironic if you ask me that his ‘least favorite’ son was the one to lose his Ninpo and because of that was forced to let him go forever. Log entry 283: I can’t believe this really happened. I always knew Casey was like a good luck charm but that he would be the one to find Raph and bring him home! Raph is back! He is really back! I haven’t realized it until that big machine picked us all up and pressed us tightly into a hug how much I had relied on him and missed his presence. It was like taking that first breath of fresh air after staying underwater for too long. Our family is whole again. Well, as whole as it can be. Log entry 284: Today’s moral of the story: Things cannot go back to how they used to be. Raph refused to take up his old position, especially with some of his programs malfunctioning and Donnie not able to repair him entirely, he told me he doesn’t want the resistance to rely on him and that I had done a great job in taking up this role as leader. I totes understand him and yet…some part of me hoped I could revert to second-in-command. Spend some more time with Case. Go on my own missions. In the end, duty calls, and there’s no easy way out of it. Log entry 294: My big brother’s return was a miracle and even so, Dee found a way to grant us another one. I don’t want to know what that grenade is made out of, and it doesn’t matter. It can REVERSE the effects of Mikey’s quick aging and that is all that counts! Seeing Mike running around, messing with his abilities, and full of energy…I’m so happy for him. Between an ageless robot and a renewed younger bro, I’m the one who’s doomed to feel like an old fart. Second chances are rare. I always regretted that Mikey had to give up so much of his life for our cause. Let’s hope Donnie can continue to produce these anti-aging bombs for a long time. Log entry 301: It’s raining with the lowest levels of sulphur dioxide in the last ten years. It’s not like it’s super safe. That hadn’t prevented Case from running around and enjoying himself within the rain simulation that Donnie had created afterward. He wrapped us all up in his shenanigans and forced us to stop what we were doing and enjoy the little things in life. That’s…not a bad thing. Log entry 303: We lost Boston. Casualties approximately 200. A ceremony for the fallen is scheduled for the day after. April had intended to inspect the Boston branch and I’m somehow glad she got delayed and hadn’t managed to reach it in time. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure, she wouldn’t have returned. She’s on her way home and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she hears about Raph. Log entry 314: Our scouting teams record higher rates of kraangified humans and yokai. It’s commonly considered a worse fate than death and yeah sure, we had figured out a way to reverse the process. Even so, it was dangerous for everyone involved and I forbid Mikey at one point to ‘treat’ anyone further. My brother would have crumbled away like overcooked toast if he would’ve cured every kraangified being there was. The instant I realized Casey had gotten infected, I was ready to beg my brother on my knees. Everyone’s selfish in their own ways, huh? Log entry 315: Casey shows great signs of improvement. Dee switched to ‘casual’ surveillance, aka his dozens of cameras whose locations nobody knows for sure. I’m doing my best to make the boy feel less responsible for what happened. We cannot blame ourselves for these things or else we would have lost our sanity long ago. Log entry 322: Hey, Dad. I know I cannot talk to you, but I really wonder if you felt the same way whenever we called you that: Dad. Case used that word to refer to me today. Well, to be honest, he also meant Donnie and Mikey, and Raph. It was one of those stupid ‘my dad is better than yours’ competitions, which makes it even better in my personal opinion. Back when I had promised Cass to look after her son, my first thought had been that this human baby was going to be a burden and I would surely mess everything up. But look at him, look at us. I would do anything for him. Heh, you surely had something similar on your mind when you went ahead and protected us at the cost of your own life. Log entry 343: Things have been busy. With April joining our team, I can allow myself to make more ballsy plans and we sure as hell need those victories. The Kraang continually pushes us back. It’s time to return to favor. Log entry 356: Man, my twin is the smartest person on earth. How did he manage to accidentally spill some of the anti-aging serum on himself? And how can such a small creature be so angry? We all haven’t slept for over 30 hours, afraid that if we take our eyes off him, he either ends up killing someone or gets eaten and I’m not thrilled about both options. Log entry 357: Casey is a genius. He built Tiny Tello a pair of custom glasses. He seems to recognize Mikey and me. Raph is too…changed. That human boy has a heart of gold, to do something so kind for someone who shows him no gratitude whatsoever. He insists it’s payback for everything ‘Uncle Donatello’ built for him. Long story short, my twin’s living in my scarf and it’s only the third weirdest thing to ever happen to me. The way he sometimes pads me with his small hands is adorable (note to myself that I should never mention that to Dee) and it makes me nostalgic for days long gone. Log entry 359: I shouldn’t be surprised that the base can’t exist long without Donnie’s maintenance. Occasionally Mike and I liked to make fun of him for merging with the place and being a true shut-in. Jokes on us that we realized how MUCH we are dependent on him once he turned into a small vicious turtle ball. We need to find a solution fast. Log entry 361: Not sure if it was sheer luck and honestly who cares. Dee is back and we need him now more than ever. Raph sustained some grave damage that isn’t fixable. The same goes for yours truly. They can berate me on how I need to be more careful all they want, I will never regret prioritizing Casey’s life. The longer our resistance continues like this, the more I believe this isn’t about me. They could easily replace me, but everyone in my family is so damn special and irreplaceable. I’m going to hold on to them for as long as I can. Log entry 378: Mikey was such an airhead when he was a teen. What happened? Like for real? He had developed an almost uncanny ability to know when we need someone to talk to or hug or, in Dee’s case, rest. And with his mad abilities, he won’t take a ‘no’ for an answer. I think I need to tell him more often how proud I am. Log entry 379: Casey called me in the middle of a meeting, that was already suspicious. The fact that Dee has been sleeping longer than six hours? Also, unusual. We’re currently taking turns, waiting for him to wake up and explain what’s going on. I’m recording this during my shift. My brother looks smaller and frail. He sinks into his bed almost as if the mattress is about to absorb him. His health was bad when Dad died. He had grieved through overwork and constant exhaustion. I couldn’t see a reason he would fall back into this old pattern. Maybe our injuries had made things worse for him. I should take over most of his work and redistribute it for a while. He won’t like it, but I don’t like seeing him like this even more. Log entry 380: Donnie has been infected. Even he doesn’t know when or where exactly. One thing is for sure, it rendered him weak for a while now and he had refused to let us know. It’s worrying that it’s a variant we haven’t dealt with before. But it’s okay. We’re going to figure something out. We always have. Log entry 385: Mikey and I had sat down late to discuss our options. His hair had turned mostly grey again, a sign my younger brother had done everything he could. Nothing worked. Good thing, the mystic isn’t our only trump card. There’s science, too. Donnie must be close to finding a solution, he has been working non-stop. Log entry 386: I just can’t understand why he would make an excessive list of things we’re supposed to take care of instead of focusing on himself. He’s supposed to be the smart one. So, what if the means to cure himself don’t exist anymore? There must be alternatives. Something even he overlooked. For the time being, we try to let him rest as much as possible and survey him. April’s visiting other resistance groups in the hope of answers. I’ve been contacting Draxum and he assured me to let me know when he found anything. Log entry 389: Casey asked me if he could sleep at my place for the night. He’s upset because Donnie made no effort in hiding his calculations of his own death. He might not act that way, but it must bother him as much as it did Casey. Dee just never expresses his emotions the same way others do. I tried to explain this to Casey. He didn’t say anything in return and quietly sobbed against the back of my shell. Log entry 399: We’ve returned to some form of normalcy, though everyone stays at the base for longer periods to hang around Donnie. He notices and refrains from commenting. Denying makes it a bit more bearable. He’s right here and we’ll be fucking damned to let anything change that. Log entry 415: I had no other choice but to move out on a mission myself. We recently lost fights we should’ve won and there are rumors that it has to do with Donnie’s health and our absence. I blame it on my lack of sleep that I stumbled into one of the Kraang’s traps. One mistake might cost your life, that’s how it has been for the last 20 years, and I was ready to pay the price. Then from nowhere, Donnie appeared in his slabby pullover and summoned the greatest arsenal of mystic weaponry that I’ve ever seen. Casey had surely been with Dee as a crutch. Though, it appeared as if it was the other way around and the boy held on to his uncle while he pushed back the entire Kraang army. It's been…a while since Donnie had gone all out. Witnessing what he’s capable of reminded me of the time we had full access to our Ninpo and had gotten extremely cocky. Even then, my twin had been the rational voice of the team. Choosing to be flashy on special occasions and focusing on providing us with the necessary support and firepower. It had never been anything personal. This time, when rockets flew over our heads causing grand explosions, I could see it in his eyes. He was free at that moment. His mind was consumed with revenge for what the Kraang had done to him and enjoying their screams and demise without a thought wasted on efficiency or greater purpose. Fearing he would collapse from over-exerting himself I had to grab him, and we retreated. He seemed in good spirits afterward. I’m telling myself that if he’s strong enough to pull something like this off, he must be okay. He must be. Log entry 422: A week after Donnie’s all-out attack, his health worsened visibly. As he huddles through his lab to take care of business as usual, we cherish the small things. Drinking tea together. Throwing bad puns at each other. The four of us are often sitting down, reminiscing about the times before this whole mess started. Sometimes April or Casey join us. We would like to show our concern and ask Donnie how he’s feeling, if he needs anything, what we can do for him, but we don’t. Life continues on. Log entry 435: I’m tired. I haven’t slept in a few days. Can’t tell exactly how long it has been. I don’t want to miss anything. Every second is precious, even writing this feels like a waste of time. But I also can’t hover over Donnie, he wouldn’t want that. He’s already mad at me since I denied taking over some of his tasks as if he’s already gone. He’s been trying to explain a few of his inventions to me that keep our base up and running, but it’s been difficult to focus. My mind drifts off to repeat the same few sentences over and over again. Please don’t leave us. Please stay with me. Please. Don’t go.

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WELCOME TO THE BATTLE NEXUS! Or maybe welcome back is more appropriate. Either way, everything is going according to plan and nothing is as it seems, really. But hey, at least Leo gets a new outfit so he can die in style. (Aka it’s my rewriting of ‘Many Unhappy Returns’ and because it’s my favorite episode in the whole series I will dedicate three chapters to it! Hope you guys enjoy it!)

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Addams AU (@lackablazeical):

Big Mamma and Splinter raise the turtles, it's a darker version of Rise.

Think We Broke The Time Continuum (@havendoesthings):

Chatfic Crossover between different iterations.

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That update literally. I don't. I. Just take it @somerandomdudelmao Take this and take all my brain space and if I had any money I'd want you to take it.

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Answer the question Leo

also in gif form lel

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Ooh my sweet baby Blue

I was worried I’d never see you again

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i need him dorkier. i need him more insane. i need him insufferable. i need him full of righteous belligerence. i need him bloodier and sluttier and more deranged. i need him gayer. i need him bundled in no less than 4 microfleece blankets. i need a gallon of soup in him. i need him kissed softly. i need him punched in the face.

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Hey so, I reblogged this before but I hope you don’t mind me reblogging it again to let you know that I worte a one-shot about this amazing piece of art. (We screamed about it in the replies once, had to use my main channel ‘jazz-it-up’) https://archiveofourown.org/works/46591525 Keep up the incredible work! owo

Sensei

Well that came out a little different than intended, the bg changed everything so grab both versions ^^

I was VERY emotional while doing this, many thoughts about the bad future timeline, about Casey and his state in the new one, his memory of Master Leonardo.

I think most of it glimmers it the golden light, it's preciousness weighting down it's wearer.

Edit: Big thanks to @threestripeslider for the playlist, I was so glad to hear Iris, and Flares is officially my F!Leo song

Happy Easter Holidays! And if you don't celebrate it, I wish you the best time filled with calmness and happynes.

Guys guys guys! I finally know in some capacity how to draw Peepaw! You know what that means? After the Holidays you are getting soul crushing(aaand fun) animatics!

What do you mean Mikey is a Peepaw I need to learn to draw too?