nearisqueer

[nearisqueer]

he just looks so uniquely disingenuous and dead-eyed

[nearisqueer]

rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

[nearisqueer]

honestly we used to have hard rock but now all we have is metal. what happened

[nearisqueer]

My favourite thing is when the pixel art videogame lets you walk on the bed and it makes it look like you are under the blankie

[nearisqueer]

I sent you omens and all kinds of signs please respond

[nearisqueer]

This is the most typical teenager on this island

[nearisqueer]

cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

[nearisqueer]

this could be the snart of something big

[nearisqueer]

[nearisqueer]

Ever want your own nasty hellish blood imp??? Well, good news, the Dropout Store has you covered - you can now get your very own squishy Wretchrot / Baby! 😈

Get it here!

[nearisqueer]

rupert giles every 20 minutes: i need to go back to sunnydale

rupert giles every 15 minutes: okay that's the last straw im going back to england

[nearisqueer]

[nearisqueer]

Now that all 3 McElroy brothers have had vasectomies, I realized every episode of MBMBAM is now me listening to my Three Wise Eunuch Advisors

[nearisqueer]

buffy's cgi budget really was 5 united states dollars and a kiss on the cheek

[nearisqueer]

I genuinely think all advertising is inherently cringe and all things should be free. Unfortunately I have to pay rent. So I am forced to compromise on my ideals to keep a roof over my head. I see this as a personal moral failing on my part

[nearisqueer]

undertale is a dollar rn btw

[nearisqueer]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.