nearisqueer
nearisqueer
The Writer's Ally
7K posts
Alexis, 25, sí/iad
Last active 60 minutes ago
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nearisqueer · 2 hours ago
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They should invent a tea that stays at perfect drinking temperature
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nearisqueer · 2 hours ago
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just passed a church that had a harley quinn hentai tapestry in one of the windows
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nearisqueer · 16 hours ago
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my new headcanon
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.
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I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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Tragic. Tumblr user made a good point but was unnecessarily condescending about it. Will not be reblogging
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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one lucky follower has been selected to be dissected and reconstructed
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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biblical angels but their true form looks like the patterns in 90s arcade carpets
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.
It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.
So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.
So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.
Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.
The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.
... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.
Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.
Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.
And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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For no reason here is a library story
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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@derinthescarletpescatarian Aspen is fuckimg awesome
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nearisqueer · 2 days ago
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nearisqueer · 3 days ago
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i'm as sex positive as the next person but i think OP (glancing around and whispering) experiences sexuality :/ the police are en route but we should probably burn them just to be sure. i mean her.
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nearisqueer · 3 days ago
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nearisqueer · 3 days ago
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not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing
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nearisqueer · 3 days ago
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This morning I had like the lesbian equivalent of that part from the Brian David Gilbert cooking video about getting called Boss haha
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nearisqueer · 3 days ago
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