ncyeonju-blog

[ncyeonju-blog]

↺ adagio for strings

yeonju is no saint. from her head spills demons, globs of blood and black tar. from her heart beats something hedonistic, hymn to the devil, vile rooted in the crux of her chest. it isn’t to say that she wasn’t kind. that she is incapable of keeping her demons at bay and a disarming smile on hand. it is the fact that she is wretched. rotted. the fact that the only thing that ever ever mattered was gratification; release.

that she is made, product of society’s worst attributes, into the thing she is. a burning star ready to implodes.

yet here she stands—barefoot (she’s kicked her heels somewhere, she’s not sure where), and towering over the drugged body of a stranger. lucky them, to have her around to intercept, prevent something triggering from happening (not out of the goodness of her heart, she wasn’t that high, but it is hard to ignore the guilt that inevitably surfaces; flashbacks of girls she’s let it happened to).

“huh.” the muscles around her mouth twitches in consideration, moving with deliberation in the way her fingers hook into their belt, throwing the otherwise malleable person onto their front in favor of procuring the wallet from their rear pocket, picking through multiple bills—hers now. “i’ll take this as compensation, then.”

again, may i remind you, lee yeonju is no saint.

nevertheless, she pivots on cold floorboards, head lulling to the side carelessly while she surveys the flat. a night spent in joule is certainly not one spent sober, lucky for them, she hadn’t been too far gone to notice the drug slipped into his drink. “y’got anything to drink around here?” yeonju questions to nobody in particularly—doesn’t expect any reply in particular as she moves, akin to a snake in the way she slinks, shedding layers of clothing to relieve heated skin.

“whiskey, rum, soju, hard cider, i’m not picky…” a laugh. clearly she finds it more entertaining than one should. “though you look like a pretentious wine kind of dude—a romanée-conti 1887 or something?”

[ncyeonju-blog]

dead in a ditch.

CHEM X — what really happened, part 1.

with @ncdoug​, @ncjaein​, and @ncyeonju��.

it’s easier than she expected. maybe it has something to do with the drugs in her system, or the sudden rage that just took over her at the sight of his smug, sleazy smile. he lands with a loud thump and she’s certain she heard a crack the moment his head makes contact with the bottom of the staircase. even in this state of mind, the reality of what she just did dawns on her.

“i swear i didn’t mean to do that.”

Keep reading

[ncyeonju-blog]

thebootydiaries‌:

every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

[ncyeonju-blog]

[ncyeonju-blog]

READ: here’s how you end up a bodyguard. your veins are busy but your eyes are always clear. you grow with untapped anger and a means to vent. you catch the eyes of a superior. you train. you get assigned. you kill. the gaps of leeway left in between you fill with narcotics, alcohol, sex. you know the point of this is to wean yourself off your vices and yet you find yourself stuck in a time loop. you train. you guard. you kill. rinse, repeat, with a dash of cocaine dashed in between.

tonight isn’t much different from the last twenty. lee yeonju is a vision in black, a stark contrast to the pale of her skin, the white fit of her companion’s. tonight, haejin is a blur in movement, her palm pressed firmly against the older woman’s back, yeonju is unyielding in the way she leads her out—fist bunched in the coat of man they came for. poor thing, he had better hoped to die here rather than making it back to the playroom.

“hurry the fuck—” the snarl on her lips is riddled with impatience, aware of the bodies rushing out behind them; the panic in their steps, how it teeters the line of being a stampede. nobody wants to be caught by a smpa dog. “go, down there—” she points down a road most taken, urging the older and scumbag dragged with them. “i’ll catch up.”

it isn’t in the job description—to be a distraction. but yeonju figures, she likes haejin well enough. biding for the urged steps on her tail (just one second, perhaps two), yeonju doesn’t move till she catches a glimpse of the relentless dog, rounding the corner to shoot straight down an unfamiliar alley—only to notice far too late, the ominous red brick wall not too far ahead; end of the line.

fuck. 

the shot comes before she can double back—leaves her ears ringing and nerves on edge, hands lifting slow in surrender (her finger slack on the trigger of the pistol in her hand). fuck. it’s hard to ignore the way her heart pounds, palms cold with sweat, yeonju is slow (and hopefully seemingly submissive) in the way she turns to face her captor (or soon to be murderer), expecting little beyond the swell of dread in her stomach.

but for the world to give way—utterly shatter—at her feet?  (for kang wonil to be standing before her now after five years with his gun cocked and grin crooked?)

never.

ACT ONE / ENTROPY

@ncyeonju

he’s chasing down shadows, sprinting at an impossible speed that renders buildings and alleyways alike into a gunmetal blur. relentless, he’s feeling fucking relentless,  a transformation that unfurls at the pace of pulses: human, hound, hunter. the gleaming revolver fits in his hands like it was made for him, an extension of his very being to strike down. kill. 

“kang.” a voice booms through his earpiece: shepherd one. they’d been tailing the bastard for weeks—scum in the eyes of the law, another tally mark in his growing hit count. but when they’d burst onto the scene, the asshole managed to have brought two presents with him: a woman in white, and an unknown ghost in black that follows in their escape. three in one mission? it must be christmas already.

“don’t fuck this one up, kang.” 

and if he can’t catch all three? pick one and shoot. 

“roger that, chief.” 

the figure darts around a corner, and he skids by the soles of his shoes at the turn and hurtles after. the distance begins to close between them at a frightening pace, seconds, milliseconds, blinks of an eye, and the terrible grin that pulls at his mouth grows in tandem. 

ready, aim, fire. 

bang. 

[ncyeonju-blog]

# %

send “#” for a RANDOM text.

( SMS — min seopercalifragilisticexpialidocious  )

  ➝ do you happen to know what meds are good for a sensitive stomach  ➝ probably shouldn’t keep popping antidepressants like candy   ➝ but i also feel like i f i throw up in haejin unnie’s playroom again shes gna skin me  ➝ lol help :(

send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

( SMS —min seopercalifragilisticexpialidocious )

  ➝ what made u think i was good bodyguard material?  ➝ pretty sure she hates me

[ncyeonju-blog]

all 🤠

send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ ok   ➝ i take back what i said last night abt hydrating  ➝ not a horrible morning all thigns considered  ➝ sorry i called you a pervy fuckwit with useless biceps and rocks for brains 

send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ haven’t seen you in a while, , finally kicked the habit?

send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ i m o tw  ➝ i overslept juist stay rigjt@there!!

send ���⁇” for a DRUNK text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝  here s a haiku those are alwaus sex i  ➝ i am so dru nk  ➝ i did not think this thr u why   ➝  u are so cu te fcuk

send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ so abt visiting hours  ➝ whats the policy on conjugal visits  ➝ 🤠  ➝ jk u wish man 

send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ my car broke down so im waiting :) roadside  ➝ sober? : )  must be mercury in retrograde :)

send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

 ➝ i really hate this phone restriction thing  ➝ what are you -- thirteen?  ➝ nvm ur never around when i need u anyway 

send “#” for a RANDOM text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ how many pumpkin spice lattes till i graduate to being a basic 

send “@” for a SCARED text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ i cant come  ➝ my fucking uncle is freaking out   ➝ actually can you come here instead 

send “&” for a LOVING text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ o...  ➝ i didnt mean to ss that @ snap /: \: /: \: /:  ➝ just shut up!!!

send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ im pretty corssed so  ➝ tbh u can ignore htis  ➝ but kwe should run away tgt hahaha  ➝ can u imainge that!! 

send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ i got the day ofFFFFFFF   ➝ no hurling today for me!!!! :)

send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝  idk might fuck around and do some bath salts before i ask him out

send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

( SMS — won-der boy )

  ➝ idk how long we can do this for  ➝ you say 5 years like its a short time  ➝ chances are you or i will be dead in 2 lmao  ➝ maybe we should just cut our losses now

[ncyeonju-blog]

all texts minus suggestive 😌

i ahte u 

send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

( SMS — keon )

   ➝ hi

send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

( SMS — keon ) (DATED: SPRING, 2042)

  ➝ are you coming home

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

( SMS — keon )

   ➝ iIM COMING dont go anywhere!!   ➝ icb you found my gun!!

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

( SMS — keon )

  ➝ iomfg  ➝ mac n cheese soufsn d soo ogood rightn ow  ➝ i m sgs h o o oo hugn

send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

( SMS — keon )

  ➝ 👁️🐝🍃   ➝ 👁️🥫🛸

send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

( SMS — keon )

    ➝  and what do you know?    ➝  tell me    ➝ what in the last five years you spent pretending you didn’t have a sister gives you the right to lecture me    ➝ i really want to know

send “#” for a RANDOM text.

( SMS — keon )

   ➝  side note why is yua trying to convince me you’re the thieving thot in her brother’s relationship

send “@” for a SCARED text.

( SMS — keon )

  ➝  im fuckign freaking out   ➝  fuck fukcufkc  ➝  i’m so fucking high

send “&” for a LOVING text.

( SMS — keon )

 ➝  you didnt need to carry me back yk ➝  thanks

send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

( SMS — keon )

➝  where did you get keon from? ➝  what do i call you now? ➝  is that a stupid question 

send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

( SMS — keon )

➝  idk if you KNOW but haejin unnie got me tickets for this concert this weekend ➝  do you wanna come ➝  or idk too soon ur busy u already have plans ➝  wait nvm haha

send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

( SMS — keon )

➝  did i leave my bra at ur place ➝  wait  ➝   ➝  no yea actually can you check 

send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

( SMS — keon )

➝  anyways ➝  i don’t think i’ll ever learn how to talk to you right

[ncyeonju-blog]

✿ ø✘

send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

( SMS — miran miran on the wall )

    ➝ miss miran      ➝ are u free     ➝ feelin saucy tonite ;)     ➝ snort a line coke off a pretty body saucy!!!!     ➝ ya i’m hellva high rn

send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

( SMS — miran miran on the wall )

   ➝ my friends cancelled can i come over :(    ➝ answer in the next three seconds or forever hold ur peace    ➝ ok i am otw :-)

send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

( SMS — miran miran on the wall )

  ➝ what the fuck   ➝ u didn’t tell me ur smpa dogs were gonna be there   ➝ thanks for nothing.

[ncyeonju-blog]

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[ncyeonju-blog]

↺ test drive

hong kong—an international hub consisting of everything lee yeonju has ever hated in men. that’s not to say the nauseating (handsy) selected few she spent the last couple of hours with represented an entire island of people. but given the fact that she had been dry (note: clean veins and clear eyes) since she arrived, yeonju has been considerably cranky. fidgety. 

a picturesque example of someone en route to being completely unhinged—all wrapped in a pretty little package. in this case, whatever occasion fitting dress she could pull out of the closet last minute.

if she’s honest, yeonju hasn’t been out of her mother country in her life. never found any particular need to travel, not when paradise exists at home, pills tucked under her tongue. hong kong, had it not been standing between her and her high, would’ve been the ideal place to see.

“so,” she starts, words slightly slurred. her mind remains clear despite this, yeonju learned early on that a clumsy tongue coupled with a pretty face is what lowers the guards of others. and she can play the role perfectly (though, she would not lie, she would have preferred to be actually drunk). “you never told me what you promised haejin unnie in exchange.” for her.

not that liying has to clarify. as if yeonju could even doubt for a second the sort of sadism that seizes choi haejin. 

“it’s gotta be something good...” she moves as she speaks, hiking up her dress to retrieve the weapon strapped to her upper thigh. “not that i know what you wanted me for to begin with,” her nose scrunches, painted lips stretched into a lopsided smile when their eyes meet, apples of her cheek rising. her tone is entirely playful, perhaps a little bit too much—considering her partner and all not that she cared. “if it’s schmoozing, i’m sure you could tell from just now or all night tonight that i’m not the best at it.”

                                                           (when sober)

                                                                                      —tagging @ncliying

[ncyeonju-blog]

[ncyeonju-blog]

↺ need a hero

“baby.” sobriety is ugly. makes things indefinitely difficult for yeonju to function. for one, all things repressed (demons, ghosts, skeletons held at bay) returns with a vengeance. washes up against her thin frame like unrelenting waves threatening to pull her in, have her lost at sea. for two, the sun is brighter, the sounds of girls gabbing is grating. her head is pounding and no abundance of iced americano would service to ease her of this very unfortunate hangover.

not even the smaller girl, whom she’s completely pressed her weight onto, arms hanging off her shoulders, could ease this.

in fact, yua only further spoiled her mood. if anything, she’s the reason why she’s stuck in this fucking bookstore.

“do you have to do this today?” the whine in her tone is evident, chin resting on the girl’s shoulder. something as mundane as returning textbooks can’t be the reason why she’s stayed sober for so long. “can’t we go?” before i lose my goddamn patience?

                                                                                       —tagging @ncyua

[ncyeonju-blog]

↺ pastorale

“helps me focus,” she speaks between interludes of ditties, fingers tugging up her rolled sleeve further to reveal four nicotine patches arranged neatly down the soft of her inner arm. there is no particular need for explanation, but yeonju strives for conversation in between the cutting and twisting and bone breaking and whatever.

anything to better distract her from the crack of bone—the lurch in her gut—and strong metallic tang of blood. 

notably, if she could get high (which she had, but only served to further upset her already sensitive stomach), she would.

“you should try it sometime.” perhaps it is ill-mannered (almost crude) to speak to the man cuffed to the chair, but what else could she do? when his one working eye remained fixated on her the entire time. pleading for mercy yeonju simply could not give.

but that is the line of occupation she chooses and this man—whatever it may be that led him down to being cuffed to this exact room (she’s sure haejin has mentioned it, yeonju simply hadn’t listened)—is here for a reason. 

though sad, tragic, and thoroughly regrettable—it was still none of her business.

in fact, most of yeonju’s responsibilities now (at least for tonight) centers only around keeping stomach contents in and the chances of last time slim. 

“so,” the woman swallows the bit of bile pooling at the back of her throat and replaces it with a cough, pushing thick black shades further up her nose at the start of another sonata. pastorale. as if she hadn’t already committed to memory (and association) every allegro and every cut into skin. absolutely revolting. “how much longer?” her veins itch for reprieve, fingers rubbing at her nose absently, the faint scent of nicotine has her twisting with ache. maybe she should have opted for another patch.

“because our dinner reservation is at 8 and i would like to go before i shoot up out of boredom.”

yeonju bites out a smile, arguably lopsided and not the slightest bit shamed. till this day it’s still a wonder as to who guards who.

                                                                                          —tagging @nchaejin

[ncyeonju-blog]

sulli for w korea

[ncyeonju-blog]

its day again — here to introduce you to baby LEE YEONJU my love, my crackhead (jk but not really). excited to plot with you all — tldr will be below the cut but her basic PROFILE and ABOUT pages are up!! like to plot shes lots of fun swear :~)

lee yeonju (formerly known as lee suyeon) / 24 / bodyguard (for??????anyone who wants to take her up for this pLS) and (sometimes) drug dealer working under yuripa

kind of estranged from her family, parents are dead, uncle is too shady to keep in contact with (so she moved away tbh n just changed her name), older brother @nckeon is kind of distant (in fact they havent talked to each other in years and she doesnt know how to even begin a convo with him anymore)

grew up in a lower-middle class family and attended the local high school 

because she was pretty she got along with everyone nicely (and then was also picked out to be a drug runner by a yuripa drug dealer)

from then > ran drugs to the prestigious private high school nearby > attended a bunch of house parties > got hooked onto the products herself > started dealing > made a SHITTON of money > moved away from home > ended up joining yuripa officially > moved from dealer to bodyguard eventually

there are some blanks to fill in here tbh, minor details really — krav maga/muay thai/mma classes she’s taken throughout the years. what makes her a good bodyguard(ish) lies in the fact that shes lowkey batshit though (crackheads, man), has a keen eye, not afraid of bloodshed!!! (mostly) 

plus, she always has really good coke 

(also doesn’t help that she’s conventionally pretty and unassuming as a woman)

that being said she DOES show up to work sometimes high or hung over but no one’s died on her watch yet so... we good

A PART OF THE CHEMICAL X SUBPLOT

so yea she’s kind of guilt ridden right now bc a friend died and yk survivor’s guilt

which ONLY serves to make her party more do drugs more make more bad decisions

girl is going down in flames stg

@ PERCOCET41 on all forms of social media if you’re looking for a hookup!! pfp is shippo from inuyasha 

generally a nice girl arent all party girls when they are running high on fumes???

shes kinda fucked up but also arent we all

plots wise —i really REALLY would love someone for her to be in charge of safety wise (ya she might suck but they wont die i swear) and then... i think that’s pretty much it for ideas i got in mind kshfsh hahaha

please plot w me :(

[ncyeonju-blog]

You are shaking fists & trembling teeth. I know: You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean you were kind.

Venetta Octavia, excerpt of “THE BURNING”, from my chapbook, “What We Left Behind”