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We looked inside some of the posts by myvalentine-sweetcyanide and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
232K
Likes Per Post
109K
Reblog Per Post
122K
Reply Per Post
76
Time Between Posts
5 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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16
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1
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Total funding amounts to $125.3M.
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I loved him and he wanted me dead and it really hurts again
#i wish it'd at least helped him#if it made him happy i would have dug my heart out of my chest for him myself but#he's still so sad. he still lets no one close.#and now i'm alone too#pers tag
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Lorna Shore — Pain Remains I: Dancing Like Flames.
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Franz Kafka, from a letter to Felice Bauer written in 1912, featured in Letters To Felice
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Angel's telling me I don't need to be grateful for what's still below the bare minimum but...things could have been so much worse. If it hadn't been C, I would have been easy pickings for someone with different kind of motives.
#probably a teacher or someone in the ranks#i still get scared my memory's going to fill in more blanks and i'll uncover something#pers tag
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baring your teeth behind your smile
#knew he didn't love me but i suppose i thought he cared#knew he looked down on me for my upbringing but. maybe it was more than that#i was never special like him and some of the others#the only one who ever saw me for myself instead of my position or what i could do for you#except not because it was all an act#it was about that. just in the opposite way than with most people#how do i even begin processing that#it's a new life now but how do i get over it#and i still need to hide all my feelings most of the time because no one wants to deal with the baggage#so it's not really even that different#wish he was here. i always felt special with him even though i knew i wasn't#pers tag
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The one thing I do have going for me is I'm much better at hiding my emotional state than Angel is!
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A part of me keeps saying I should be grateful he never did any worse. I was such an easy target and he could've talked me into damn near anything. The lengths I would have gone to if he'd said the word eat away at me. Instead he always treated me like a friend, all the way to the end.
But goddamn it still hurts
#yes i suppose he was a little mean sometimes but that's just the way he is. it was never to hurt me#he could have done so much worse#he could have taken advantage in so many ways#but i almost wish he had because maybe then i could at least get angry. maybe then i could find a way to go on without him#pers tag
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Yrsa Daley-Ward, from bone; “waiting for the check to clear”
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Michael Cunningham, The Hours
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Margartia Karapanou, tr. by Karen Emmerich, from Rien ne va plus
[Text ID: “you still eat away at me, more and more, insatiably. I’m stupid, I let you do it. But you’re stupid, too. You don’t realize that by eating me you’re poisoning yourself,”]
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“Love? I wanted to go with him, to be on the strong side, for him to spare me, like one who seeks shelter in the arms of the enemy to stay far from his arrows. It was different than love, I was finding out: I wanted him as a thirsty person desires water, without feelings, without even wanting to be happy.”
— Clarice Lispector, from Complete Stories; “Obsession”
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