mydear-adelaide

[mydear-adelaide]

[mydear-adelaide]

trix were for kids

past-tense slogans

[mydear-adelaide]

@ my last post

[mydear-adelaide]

it’s been a rough time

so I’m in the process of looking for my first college roommate and it’s not going well. every time I message someone it’s a very short conversation and then I’m left on read. today I talked to a super sweet girl in need of another quad member, and sent me the person who needed the roommate. I introduced myself and mentioned we have the same major, and she said “hi!!” and after i asked what she was looking for in a roommate and some things about myself, she ghosted me. first of all, rude???? second of all, im fucking tired of this happening to me. 

90% of the time im the one initiating contact with people and they never keep up conversation. at one point there was someone i was having a convo with and not 5 minutes after it was over she posted on our class facebook, “hmu if you need a roommate, i still need one!!” and that shit hurts. 

not to get deep or anything, but why does this shit happen to me so much?? like i dont have many close friends and i wonder if im just not likable. when it comes to friends ive had a rough time bc since childhood its a cycle of meeting people and getting attached and then them leaving or excluding me from things. 

more recently (this is going to sound conceited but bear with me) sometimes i feel under appreciated. im the mom type of friend that loves to drive friends around, treat them to meals, check up on them if theyre going thru it, that sorta stuff, yknow?? 

i see people in my school who have super close bonds like they hang out all the time, they go on vacation and have study dates... and for me its like pulling teeth trying to get people to hang out. i mean i will do anything for my friends and when we DO hang out we both have a lot of fun. but the thing is its sort of disheartening (is that a word?? i cant be bothered to look it up rn) always being the one making plans and most of the time being turned down bc theyre busy. which is a totally valid thing im not gonna be upset abt that. but i see them finding time for so many other people- which they are closer with and thats not the problem either- i just wish i had those types of people in my life. 

i dont remember the last time someone asked if i was okay or if i wanted to go on a drive or if i wanted to hang out. being the one who always has to make plans to hang out makes itfeel like no one actually thinks about spending time w me, like im just a backgroiund character in everyones lives. and i do the things i do for my friends because i love them, not because i expect something in return. but i just want to know that someone appreciates me enough to put in the effort the same way i do. you know?

back to the roommate thing. this is why its pissing me off. ive dealt with stuff all my life and i hoped that would change in college. but no, im still getting turned down and ignored, im always the one initiating things, and i just feel alone bc everyone already has their roommates and i reaaaally dont wanna just randomly get assigned with someone im gonna hate. 

atp i just wanna apply for single housing and stick to myself freshman year, but ofc my mom said no bc its expensive. it also kinda hurts that she doesnt care that much that its sorta breaking my heart that people just arent interested in getting to know me like i am to them?? 

man was this a rant or what. anyways tl;dr: i struggle to make friends and idk why bc all my friendssay “were friends!!” yet dont act like it and its following me to college :))))

[mydear-adelaide]

Mildly Interesting Dump #7

A storm literally picked up and moved this road

the fog during my flight makes illinois seem like it hasn’t rendered

The Korean taco place we got takeout from gave us a roll of toilet paper with our meal.

My airplane bathroom had a window in it

UPS making a delivery to FedEx Ship Center

I made a hidden glow-in-the-dark galaxy in my resin kitchen floor.

My toaster has a window to see how toast your bread is.

The logo on my umbrella only shows up when wet.

My mom painted this outlet to match the rocks.

The way my dogs spots faded over 10 years

Chairs at my new job have rollerblade wheels so we can roll quietly

The way my plate broke in almost even pieces

They took the furniture out of Starbucks so people won’t gather here

An insect got stuck between the printer and the pillowcase

Office building that’s inside…. But looks like it’s outside.

My cat sitting on the back of my chair makes it look like she’s wearing a leather jacket

Caught my crow buddy mid-blink, making her look very sinister.

This house near me has an observatory.

Half of this hallway is under construction.

My math teacher has a stamp of his face that he uses on people’s tests if they do well.

This spherical chalkboard my professor uses to teach curvature in General Relativity

My alcohol looks like cleaner, and my cleaner looks like alcohol

I left a summer roll on my desk for 4 days. The bean sprouts are sprouting.

These public benches are reversible, so you can choose to look at people, or boats.

My girlfriend and similar lookin’ horse

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/

[mydear-adelaide]

[mydear-adelaide]

Also: tall boy and I are getting close as friends. It was apparent that he might like me a few weeks ago, but after very careful conversation and late night texts, I think he’s just trying to be friends. Which I’m okay with :) He’s the sorta guy where I won’t actively like him but if he shows interest, I wouldn’t be mad. You know?

[mydear-adelaide]

It’s been awhile. Decided not to do daily updates. But checking in once in a while is cool too. :) I’m not on tumblr much. But anyways, my online learning officially starts tomorrow. I really don’t have the motivation to do any work. I’ve already been accepted and paid deposit for the college I’m going to. What’s the point?

[mydear-adelaide]

Hey there’s people dying so maybe be grateful

Hey maybe I’m allowed to be upset bc I’ve worked hard for 12 fucking years to get to this point. I feel for the people who are struggling but just because they have it rough doesn’t mean I can’t be sad about something too.

[mydear-adelaide]

I THINK THERES A MOUSE IN MY ROOM

[mydear-adelaide]

Credit: @ThinkAnneThink

[mydear-adelaide]

I regret to inform you all that I have eaten 43 oranges in the past 3 days

[mydear-adelaide]

My senior year just got cancelled.

No prom

no graduation ceremony (as of now)

no grad parties

no ISSMA orchestra concert

no senior skip day and no senior prank

no tour de [town name] where we ride scooters from the old Marsh to the high school

no last day of school

no more Friday afternoons with my orchestra teacher pretending to get stuff done when we’re really making fun of other people and ranting

no more casual flirting in person

no more seeing my favorite teachers or seeing friends in the halls

no more Monday evening orchestra rehearsals

I’ll never walk the halls of my high school as a student ever again. And that fucking kills me

[mydear-adelaide]

Woah it’s been a few days!!! Long story short: I got caught up in my time by myself and didn’t really think abt updating. One small update: the guy and I are getting closer,,,,, I think I’m gonna nickname him tall boy bc he’s tall

[mydear-adelaide]

ahhh it’s storming w huge fat raindrops I LOVE IT!!!

[mydear-adelaide]

Managing lactose intolerance is a lot easier knowing you aren’t gonna be anywhere besides home in the near future

[mydear-adelaide]

It’s so warm today!!! I went on a bike ride in shorts and long sleeve athletic shirt and it was amazing!!!