musicalpastasalad

[musicalpastasalad]

Day 1 of a week of writing literally anything

Sitting in an empty lunchroom

Absent feelings hang in the air vents

That move the air but they dont move us

Fingerprints line the sinks

It looks as if our souls have descended into the drains

And run down the pipes

Away from the restless air

Out of sight

Out of mind

[musicalpastasalad]

René Magritte (1898-1967)

September 16th, 1956

Oil on canvas

[musicalpastasalad]

Woman of Interest

The lights leak through the gas

Cold and indifferent

My skin grows mountains,

Jagged peaks

That echo the thoughts

That my mind sees in ever shadowed corner

Why is it that when my mind races

I am the one in second place?

Deeper beneath the surface is where

My anxieties like to swim in tandem with my fears

Adulthood ought to have lifeguards

[musicalpastasalad]

Witching it up at the gym. Recently i dyed my hair purple and decided to wear whatever clothes i want so thats been nice.

[musicalpastasalad]

Sitting in the gym massage chair. It was a good workout, i have been really pushing my weights for the first time in a while. I enjoy my new routine from my trainer. Planning to keep pushing weights till new years and see where im at.

My anxiety has been touch and go depending on the day. Big oh well, but ive been pushing for more shifts at work and im making enough to get by while also supporting Paul.

[musicalpastasalad]

Handprinted Tights

Marya Jalava on Etsy

See our #Etsy or #Tights tags

[musicalpastasalad]

Art By IG: @floortjesart

Instagram: @artwoonz

[musicalpastasalad]

Have you ever

Overflowed with emotion?

Stomach hurting nerves, giddiness, dread, longing, disgust?

I feel them all when I think about anyone else. Ill probably delete this but i had to scream it into the void for a moment.

Family and friends have always been a struggle for me. Making keeping and losing friends is a talent of mine. Not immediately, but ive noticed ive fallen out of touch and i always pictured it getting easier in time. To be with other people i mean. I long to feel connected to anyone, and trust them, but i just dont.

Keeping a partner? Unlikely. Its the same story every time and i am the common denominator.

Married? Laughable! I can't get through anyone elses wedding without slipping out early to have a panic attack.

Keeping friends? Not easy when you imagine everyone hates you.

Idk. Im really struggling with feeling normal and worthy around anybody. I feel sick all the time.

[musicalpastasalad]

O.W.W.W.P

With a glance out of the window she

Is bleeding winter

Letting it throb in her veins

Letting the snow nip at her ankles

Cloth pants

And empty beer cans have littered on the morning

Met with the glacial flood covering the dead leaves

The drought has been quenched

Perhaps I will get some rest

After I pour some ghosts into the air

And let the smoke stain my skin

[musicalpastasalad]

Second day of feet in gym. Not bad, but im bloaty and hormonal and dont want to be here but that probably means im right where i need to be.

[musicalpastasalad]

Peanut butter tastes great on anything. From Toothpaste For Dinner.

[musicalpastasalad]

Second day of feet in gym. Not bad, but im bloaty and hormonal and dont want to be here but that probably means im right where i need to be.

[musicalpastasalad]

I guess this is the space that I always share how depressed i have been and my plan to bounce back. Its never a bad thing but i imagine you all get a little sick of seeing the same posts.

Anyway, today at the gym i had no anxiety for the first time i could remember. Im delirious tired, but i feel just fine.

Not bad. Take care.

[musicalpastasalad]

Wednesday is an excellent student, but frankly, I’m concerned. This is our class bulletin board. This month our theme is “Our Heroes”, people we love and admire. You see, Susan Ringo has chosen the President. Isn’t that sweet? And Harmony Feld has picked Diane Sawyer.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[musicalpastasalad]

Post traumatic stupid

It took a year to thaw again

But still it grabs me by the throat

I am 24 and i am choking on the ghost of my youth

When does it stop knocking on my door after dark

And around every corner?

It watches my evening walks

And hears the downwards smirk at each sentences end

It knows me

I wish it would send a postcard instead because

No matter where I come up for air

There she is, ready to pull me back down

The person I always wanted to leave behind

Please, let me stop and rest awhile

I have been exhausted for ages

And canyons forming at the creases from my eyes

[musicalpastasalad]

The Penner Cabin

[musicalpastasalad]

Reblog if your a kinda "meh" FITBLR

You know, sorta bad ass on occasion when your not swamped with life stuff. You want to prioritise it more but things keep getting in the way. You’re super jazzed about fitness but sometimes it doesn’t go to plan.

Sometimes you’re a fitblr, sometimes you’re a shitblr and that’s OK. Reblog if your you’re proud of the fitblr days and meh about the shitblr ones.