murkcanis

[murkcanis]

I’m one of those people that will jump head first into whatever rabbit hole I find, leaving me with weird information like how many rollie pollies do you need to have half a pound of them?

Anywhere between 6129-9017, by the way.

[murkcanis]

You ever realize that a particular skill of yours only applies in certain situations?

Let me tell you, I can whip up a mean rigatoni with homemade sauce but if you asked me to cook you a hotdog all you’d get is me blue screening.

I have no idea how long or at what temp to cook frozen chicken nuggets and fries, but I will gladly make you a plate pork schnitzel and assorted veggies.

These pre-made foods aren’t difficult to make, that’s the point of their existence, but there’s like some kind of mental block going on that prevents me from comprehending the most basic of skills; turning on an oven/stove and chilling for a few minutes.

[murkcanis]

Sometimes ads will confuse me. It will just be

Why am I typing in a phone number? What is this search going to lead to? What even is the name of the advertiser?

And I’ll really want to click it, just to find out what the deal is, but I know that it’s a scam. I know I will get a virus. But I want to understand.

So. Bad.

[murkcanis]

I love the summer because it’s that time of the year where I slowly become reacquainted with my freckles.

Oh, I didn’t realize I had a freckle there!

Wow, my arms are very spotted! How cute!

Since when did I have freckles on my shoulder?

My legs have freckles?

Wait, this hand never had freckles before? Wtf?

Why do I have a straight line on my wrist? Not even a cluster that happens to have a straight line in it, but like an actual fucking straight line.

Man, this kinda looks like melanoma? Maybe? Oh wait, nm, just an oddly dark freckle. Nothing to fear.

This looks like an eyeball.

[murkcanis]

Just saw a dragonfly latch onto another dragonfly, take it down right next to me, and then it spent the next 30 minutes or so eating it.

I fucking love dragonflies.

[murkcanis]

I’m wearing a Jurassic park t-shirt, and I was walking down the hall some kid just went ‘rarr’ all fucking guttural and I had to try and not laugh.

[murkcanis]

When I go into the nearby bigger city, I used to see a Toys R’ Us sign. Now, its just Bob’s Discount Furniture. If thats not allegory for growing up, I don’t know what is.

[murkcanis]

Math and philosophy should never be mixed. Never. You are just asking for a headache and a handful of questions never to be answered, and it’s all thanks to bees and their stupid, motherfucking, number lines.

[murkcanis]

I was just scrolling through my google docs account when I found a document in French. Now, I know a little bit of French; I’m not fluent, but I know enough. So I start reading the first sentence: “Nous ne sommes pas étrangers à aimer”.

And then it hits me. I rickrolled myself.

[murkcanis]

How did I get to the point where I’m reading Spiderman fan fiction in the dark, listening to an hour’s worth of Nubian folk music to drown out my mother and sister’s political preaching? How did I get here?