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Quick Thoughts: Procrastination
I’m exhausted from my productivity binge today. I felt like that’s what it was. Except then I thought about it and googled “binge” - the definition clearly emphasizes “to excess”. I didn’t really produce to an excess...but it was excessive compared to yesterday... Anyways, I spent most of this morning filming movement demos for a product that I decided to make available for the Friday after Thanksgiving. I felt a major surge in motivation this morning and decided to knock out as many demos as I could. Go me! It’s been a while since I’ve been physically exhausted and I must say it feels fantastic, especially compared to being mentally exhausted. And it feels good that I didn’t procrastinate this time around.
Usually I would easily procrastinate this sort of project. I mean, I basically have been procrastinating this project because it’s been in the works for a while and it wasn’t until last week that I decided to launch it in November to meet an external deadline. Clearly a self-imposed deadline doesn’t seem to work well for me. But when someone else gives me a deadline, I have no problem keeping it because I would hate to disappoint.
I always liked to think that I worked best under pressure; that the added urgency felt from a looming deadline made me work better, smarter, or more creatively. But I think what really happens is simply that the added urgency helps me commit to focusing on the project at hand, because there’s not enough time to safely get distracted anymore. I could probably come up with the same solutions/process (probably even better) if I just fully committed to focusing, whenever (this seems true, based on my efforts today).
But I’m not always motivated or disciplined enough to focus like that. So I tend to roll with my natural motivation. Which can be good and not so good.
#incomplete thoughts#procrastination#quick thoughts#motivation#focus#under pressure#meeting deadlines#monday motivation
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Quick Thoughts: Perspective
I was flying recently and the place we took off from was pretty dark and cloudy. It was overcast, no sun was shining through the clouds, I couldn’t see any blue sky from the ground. So, no big deal, but it put a little bit of an added damper on an already low feeling day. I was leaving loved ones and heading to a place where I didn’t really want to go, but another loved one was there so I was going... Not a super fun situation.
So anyway. We take off and we’re flying below the clouds and nothing occurs to me other than the thought that it was naturally getting darker (evening) and we’d probably be flying in clouds for a while. But then (and I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me at the time that we would keep climbing, but it didn’t) we passed through the entire layer of clouds, which of course exposed the whole plane to the late afternoon sunlight.
Sunlight is everything to me. On some days. And I never really thought about the fact that even when the sun isn’t literally shining on me, it’s definitely still there shining bright light. The blue sky is definitely still there, even if I can’t see it from the ground. So all I know is, I saw the sun, I felt the sun, on a day during which I was impacted by its absence in my little world...but it was just there all along. It was comforting. And I need to try to remember that for future cloudy days.
#reflect#quick casual thoughts#movementbygloria#gloriasays#perspectivematters#sunshine#perspective matters
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To learn is to grow.
This category might not be fully explored for a little while, but I thought it was worth sharing a little bit about “why” this would be a category at all.
I had always dreamed of becoming a teacher, but was completely disillusioned by the “system” in middle school/high school/college. But I tried not to lose faith completely and started college with the full intent to become a teacher. But that didn’t happen. I just couldn’t do it. (I can go into details on this later- in fact, I’m sure I will, but it’s a long important story and would make a better podcast discussion, so I’ll wait for now.)
Now, however, three years out of the system has helped me realize a better direction for myself in order to make the impact I want in education. So I am currently applying to graduate schools for educational psychology. I am an educator at heart and would like to build on my skills and knowledge so that I can be a better teacher in every way. I am hoping to help learners learn better by giving them alternatives and better resources. Maybe I will even go on to teach teachers how to be better teachers.
I’m clearly interested in “better” when it comes to teaching and learning. I’ve seen and experienced so much “worse” and a little bit of “fantastic” - so somewhere in between (better) is definitely out there.
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What does it mean to play?
Especially as an adult? Do we play in the traditional sense, the way children and animals naturally do? Or do we have other ways of experiencing play?
I tend to think it’s a combination of both. Clearly, as adults we can still play- we play in the traditional sense with animals and children all the time, maybe each other too. We use our imagination, feed off of their imagination and perception, run around, play a defined game, laugh, etc.
But as adults, we tend to classify play as some secondary category of activity and entertainment that is inherently childish. Which is actually fine in my opinion because I think children have it all figured out. But on the other hand, the idea of “play” being “childish” in a negative way deters some adults from the idea of play, period. Because they don’t want to appear childish or promote childish behavior, because they view it as “un-adult”, which is “bad” for reasons they can easily explain to you, I’m sure.
So maybe you don’t want to appear or feel childish, but isn’t play still important? Do you realize how much is gained through play? Self identity, group identity, creative thinking, collaborative thinking, learning new information, reflecting on cause and effect, etc., etc. The list goes on and on, really. And furthermore, isn’t play freeing? Play is limitless- play is total freedom.
I think as adults we actually play quite a bit, but we don’t realize it’s “play”. Some examples:
Exercising for exercises’ sake
Traveling
Adventuring (even at home)
Socializing
Trying something new
Learning through experience
Storytelling
Telling/listening to jokes
Pulling pranks (big or small)
Celebrating (parties, gatherings)
Dancing
DIY anything
Playing adult games (poker, sports, etc.)
Anything with a pet
I love play. For me, it is truly freeing and at the same time extremely grounding. I think I should probably play more often, honestly. I’ve only truly played a little bit recently- I’ll share some about that soon.
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The power of sharing.
I think that sharing is reflecting. You choose what to share. To make that choice is to reflect. To share with someone else or to receive what someone else is sharing, is also to reflect. You make choices, you observe. To apply and interpret it is to reflect. Don’t you think?
But regardless of how you decide to classify or define it all, sharing information and experiences with others helps connect us all. And I believe when you share with yourself you also connect with yourself. Think about talking to yourself, out loud. Would you tell a story the same way you would tell someone else? Why or why not? What about sharing something with a close friend vs sharing with a stranger? It’s all different, right?
To share differently is fine and normal, but my point is that I believe that a real connection, or real forward movement, lies with our real experiences and reflections. The stories that we tell influence others. The stories that we tell ourselves influence ourselves as well. I think it’s interesting to think about what we choose to share and why and how we share it. Hindsight is 20/20, right? So share it. That reflection alone is worth a lot to yourself and to others. Isn’t it?
I’ve been through a lot- much of it seems negligible in comparison to stories of extreme hardship, life events, circumstance, etc. But is it? Why compare? This is my experience and there are a lot of people like me out there too. Maybe it’s all worth sharing and will lead to a deeper understanding and connection between us all.
So that’s basically what I intend to be doing here- sharing. With myself, with others. Because it is important to do so. We are the storytellers. Without these stories, generations now and after us just won’t know... Which may be fine, but...is it fine?
(Side note: If you’re anything like me you might prefer to listen to what people share, instead of reading, because it gives you an even fuller picture of their true voice than the voice in their writing alone. Well, I’m literally in the process of making a podcast option to accompany this blog. Again, coming slowly, but coming nonetheless.)
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Life balance.
My idea of life balance is all about balancing my personal flow of energy. I have to pay attention to what kinds of activities, environments, interactions, things, etc., contribute to my good energy. And same on the flip side- what sorts of things take away from my good energy (or give me “bad” energy).
I used to think that life balance was some end goal that could be achieved through lots of personal development, coaching, therapy, making it a SMART goal, etc. And for some, that might be the case. But for me and the way I feel my own life balance, I’m starting to realize that life balance as an end goal just isn’t realistic.
That doesn’t mean I am always out of balance, but just that balance isn’t an end- I don’t finally achieve it, I’m always in the act of working on it. For me, life balance is an ongoing journey of checks and balances, making adjustments, processing new information and feedback, and shifting priorities, desires, values, and responsibilities back and forth, back and forth.
And let me tell you, that feeling of being “in balance” doesn’t hang around too long. I’m lucky if I get a whole day of feeling “in balance”. Maybe I’ll get to a point someday where I’m much better at balancing myself and I will feel much less pulled by various energies around me. But for now I’m going to keep working and adjusting all the time to feel that energy balance that brings an inner calm, even for just a few minutes every day. I have much more to say on this topic, so if this seems a bit incomplete, it is. But more is coming.
But honestly, am I in the minority here? Do you feel balanced every day? I mean, if you do, let us all know what the secret is please.
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As humans, we are meant to move.
That’s my biggest thing- we are supposed to move. We are built for moving. We are not built to be sedentary, static, rooted, etc. I have always felt that way, physically, but only just recently did I realize how this applies to my mind as well.
I have experienced the toll that a static, sedentary lifestyle can take on a person both physically and even mentally. For years and years I was a dancer, training several times a week and in some cases several times each day. I was so active! So sitting on Tumblr at night for hours didn’t ever seem to undo all the awesome physical activity I had during the day.
But when I graduated college, I stopped moving. I just had no reason to anymore- no dance training to attend, no need to walk around or move much for work, and somehow I just sank into this static place of never moving during the day. I just sat. (And went on Pinterest and Instagram, instead of Tumblr, which is a whole other story. If you’re interested, I mentioned that here.)
Here we are three years later and wow has it taken a toll. If I tried to get up and dance right now, the way I used to, I would get hurt (I’ve tried and it happened). I’ve had back pain, muscle “tightness” where I never had before, injuries, carpal tunnel like symptoms, neck issues, digestion issues, increased anxiety, fatigue, lack of apatite, etc. And I’ve tried (with professionals) to find other underlying causes for these issues, but it turns out it’s mostly from not moving. This insane lifestyle change from being super active to super inactive just threw me into a spiral.
And, oddly enough, I haven’t been a stranger to movement over these years. In fact, I’ve been all about movement- I just haven’t been the one moving. After college, I transitioned to coaching dance, became a Pilates instructor, a group fitness instructor, and a wellness coach. I designed plenty of workouts, conditioning routines, dance technique and stretching routines, etc. I gained a ton of useful knowledge about movement and anatomy, dance injuries, injury rehab, and more. But the crazy thing is that I never really applied any of it to myself. I was simply an instructor. I demonstrated a little bit, but mostly I only watched others.
So it’s time now. It’s time to get in the habit of consistent healthy movement for myself. I know exactly how to do it! Heck, I’ve been doing this for others for years! But now it’s my turn.
That being said, I am still doing this for others, like you! If you resonate with this whole “not moving” thing at all, I’m creating an awesome virtual resource for you (coming slowly, but it will be coming). After all the physical part of Movement by Gloria is half of what this whole blog will be about. I’m just letting you know that this time I’m actually going to commit to using it myself too.
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This is personal and business. Who would have thought of such a thing? Well actually probably a lot of people.
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
I still have a deep appreciation for Tumblr. It was always my happy place on the internet. My form of me time and a sort of meditation. I used to go on Tumblr for hours and hours and hours every day, starting way back in probably fall 2008. Maybe even before that? 10 years ago, holy cow. When Tumblr was a little baby.
Throughout high school and much of college, I depended on Tumblr, but then I stepped away. I don’t know why. I think I thought it was a waste of time, but I just started “wasting” my time on other sites like Pinterest and Instagram. I got addicted, really - it was negative, not positive. On Pinterest, I was always drawn in to the marketing of posts, this new form of “blogging”: “new hacks”, “this many number of tips“, “how you should do this”, “look at what I made”… It’s not all bad, but the angle is different than Tumblr, in my opinion. Pinterest is about someone almost instructing you, fairly one-sided like a recorded video lecture or a commercial. It’s not “sharing” in the way that resonates with me. It was business, not life. But I was still drawn in, I mean I guess marketing works on even the most stubborn of us.
Then Instagram came along and I pretty much got addicted to that too, and it was much worse. Seeing what other people did (those who I knew personally and strangers) was super interesting to me, but damn I started to sink into some self depreciating mindset where I believed I wasn’t living fully enough, compared to what I saw on Instagram. And even to the point where I kind of stopped living myself. I just like slowed down and kind of stopped. It didn’t even motivate me to be more awesome, it just pushed me to like give up because I’m probably not going to have a life that awesome. It wasn’t that extreme, but…almost.
Now, I can go on and on about why I think it’s actually neat that we get to choose what we share and how and with whom. We get to create our story, and that’s cool. And I was always well aware that Instagram only showed a teeny little snippet of someone’s life, and it might not have been real at all. But yet, I still couldn’t shake the whole negative comparison thing, even if I was well aware it wasn’t the whole picture. Weird. Maybe I was so disheartened by the fact that a lot of it wasn’t real, so I was sad that people thought they couldn’t just be real…
It felt lonely. My self confidence took such a huge plunge and I didn’t know how to get it back. I’m honestly still recovering. Lol this sounds like something totally different than Instagram, but whatever. So even at my lowest points, when I was really lost, I kept looking to Instagram for help for some reason. Like I would see something that would make me feel confident or help me relate to someone. And it literally never helped. Made it totally worse and I kept sinking.
And on top of everything, the reason I have always had a tendency to spend time on some sort of internet gallery/collection/social media I guess is for the purpose of a brief peaceful, happy, sunshine filled escape. Sometimes I just need a break from my reality. I want to look at other people’s reality, or see things that help me thrive in my reality (pictures of nature and autumn for example help me seriously calm down). Tumblr was always the best resource for that - my experience on Tumblr was always more relaxing and calming than any other site. Always. Still is. I mean, I feel like I even used Tumblr for legit manifesting in a way - I used to dream about living in the country and I used to look at and reblog pictures like that all the time. Well, I ended up going to live in the country, for real, based on my dreams that I visually represented and connected with on Tumblr. Like for real, without Tumblr I’m not sure it would have happened. I wouldn’t have even been so seriously inspired to go to the country.
So I got to thinking, finally, about how I could make things better for myself. I realized that the reason I never felt so negatively about Tumblr is because Tumblr was like a window into someone else’s life, a window into others’ dreams, and a window into my life and my dreams too. Things here are often way more personal, real, relatable, human, honest, if even still an incomplete picture. I didn’t find myself comparing my story to others, but simply observing, empathizing, learning, experiencing. Tumblr was always a place to share, to truly share. It’s pretty damn cool.
And now here I am. I cut ties with Pinterest and cut way back on Instagram. I have been on and off of Tumblr for the past four years, but never really consistently. I think it’s time now, though. I’m finally making a full comeback. It’s like going back to high school as an adult - like Seventeen Again or something. I was already here a long time ago, I drove by occasionally in the years since, but I don’t really know what it’s like to experience it personally anymore… So we will see. But I have faith.
I’d like to think I’ll be here for a while; I’m planning on it.
This is where I’ll be: blogbygloria.tumblr.com (mostly reblogs) movementbygloria.tumblr.com (business - cuz I’m an adult now I guess)
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