moderndaydissonance-blog

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I think God was there when I moaned into you. I think God found our car parked behind the sun and He watched us burn each other down.

Excerpt from “Obscene” | d.a.s (via backshelfpoet)

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Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter.

Samuel J. Hurwitt (via yeahmicah)

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Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion, it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things.

T.S. Eliot (via observando)

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darkerbysunrise reblogged your post The Last Poem and added:

This pertains to nothing I’ve experienced, but it’s beautiful.

Thank you so much <3

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Don't trust your friends while you slumber Everything I've ever known has been cut to the bone My hopes and my dreams are all I've ever known This town will take the breath from my lungs But I'll keep singing, screaming, sighing Just because it keeps me young I want to take you home tonight I know it's not wise but  I swear I can see the future in your eyes Let's get out of this damn town Take a train to San Francisco I know if we stay here I'll drown And your embrace is keeping me afloat  Amongst the people who try to tear me down Sometimes it only takes a day to break hope And the only thing that looks right right now is that rope And I'm so tired of finding no solace in the daily routines that should be keeping me afloat I just don't ever know how to cope I see a wide open world in your grassgreen eyes, though Lets build a life here pressed between beating chests like a flower in the pages of a book Live like a revolution, a modern Rousseau In the midst of a society that's trying to tell us 'no'

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Ricochet Rationalization

I met him in the unbaptized bone of winter When the air sighs like tephra and we both feared the antithetic of apathy like frostbitten fingers He called me beautiful like a tithe, and I kissed him like shots of vodka Because we cultivated the fear of isolation in promises of a tomorrow that bit like blood

See, I used to write my poetry like letters

I found more of my reasonable self in the dregs of his coffee than in the ink he poured out of his nicotine-stained teeth into his taciturn typewriter It's a shame he wasted words on me The way I wasted wishes on him like tearing petals off peonies

See, I don't write empty poems

I kept unpolished words under the skin of my knuckles That were meant for the idea of a person that cast crystallized sentences into my cracked lips I am not merely bone wisps and raw respiration I am ricochet rationalization and I don't owe you an explanation

[moderndaydissonance-blog]

this poem is basically like seeing me naked and I should probably be embarrassed but maybe not

hey. I think you're pretty cool because you wear your personality like an ironic t-shirt and hey. This is about worn-soled shoes and discordant melodies and bad horror movies because hey. I like being 18 with you.

I think my eyes are blue because I spend too much time looking at the sky I guess you could say I'm a daydreamer but I get the sense that you might be too Time doesn't move at a reasonable pace when I'm with you But then again, neither does my heartbeat And I can't look you in the eye without feeling self-conscious because you'll notice how I'm staring, so Please excuse me while I find the floor

Because I bite my lip when I'm nervous And right now my mouth tastes like pennies I wanna know if you think about oblivion because I haven't been able to get it out of my head since I saw that tiny crack in the sidewalk and How vastly important it was to the ants So sometimes I think about how if my life was a book would I skip ahead? Like, I think I'd like to read my eulogy.

I think we should make irrational decisions together because we owe it to ourselves to fuck up and I think that means we're trying and Maybe that's just an excuse because fucking up is a habit of mine But I like the way your fingers fit along my spine

And so I think we should fall in love too fast like levity and Go on adventures like ardence and Forget to check our phones like flippance and Let the rest of the world think maybe we died Like maybe by cyanide

And I never smile unless I mean it because I like to be in control of how fast happiness happens And I think speed limits are just helpful suggestions And I always think in verses like bulletpoints And I'm not really sure if this real poetry but I like the way my words sound when they're written for you

So I think you should probably kiss me because I'm really bad at shutting the hell up And I like the way you imprint my internal organs When you kiss me like you have your fingers in my chest cavity And maybe that makes me sound crazy but it doesn't count If it's just about you.

[moderndaydissonance-blog]

The Last Poem

My chest feels pressurized Like the contents of an aerosol can when I speak your name Two years after you disappeared down the drain of my shower I wonder if you scrubbed at your skin the same way I scoured mine, Once it was already too late to be rid of the lingering traces we left on one another's skin

You used to break out in sweats, decide I was only a ghost, and demand I draw a drop of blood to prove my heart still beat for you But I remember how, when you came up for air, my name would register on your lips And that always stayed the flow.

You used to kiss my eyelids closed, promising that it'd keep me safe if I died, that I'd stay tethered at your side, until you awoke to follow me to the God you held conversations with every night.

You were always so concerned about my salvation.

The night you first told me you loved me, you tucked a Catholic scapular into my open palm And led me in fervent prayer for the cleansing of my soul, despite my insistence that I didn't need a savior. I was never really one for religion But sometimes I could swear I'd found God in your arms regardless

You baptized me in bathwater bibliotry But scripture never silenced the demons that sought sanction within the walls of your skull And you were in the practice of relying on vodka to sterilize your diseased soul, Skipping school days to oscillate between ideologies in a swill stupor But you were always ultimately imbued with incurable apathy

We lived for sticky summer nights on your roof When hope would emanate from the very ground you walked on and I accepted it for the perjury it was Because we both knew recovery would steal the very substance of your soul And Lithium isn't a drug for lovers You wanted to Fuck Control

So the splintered shards of our solar rapture stumbled on And we breathed for those ephemeral infinities, Stolen heartbeats of sanity When it was easy to believe that our puzzle piece palms could persevere We were invincible

But it's been 917 days since you last breathed my name over coffee-stained satin bedsheets I could've sworn I'd never sleep a night absent from the sedimentary scent of your cigarette smoke skin My bones ached for the cradle of your clumsy embrace for weeks And you still reside in my very skin But I shed cells of you every day And I've been told that our skin regenerates every month, so this is long overdue But this is the last poem I'll ever write for you

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Kerosene Cosmology

Chemistry is when you kiss me like religion And my mind lights up like a match Our mouths taste like lighter fluid when we kiss like natural disasters Baby, I am not a girl I am a forest fire with flesh

I don't want to forget you I want to define the universe in the freckles on your chest like constellations Dear boy, you are a galaxy When I look at you like philosophy I am looking for answers in your acidwash ideologies

Kerosene cosmology

We are quickstep counterparts to a whole I don't know who I am But when you told me you found a whole world Contained inside two irises I knew I was yours

So I've been keeping love like fireflies In a jar on my bedside table for you And I've been wondering if you'd like to take them off my hands Because you are the only one I'd trust with fireflies as fragile fine as mine

Since the first time we said hello I've been on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend And a life stuck in the labyrinth doesn't seem so bad If I've got your sarcastic company along for the ride

When we fall in love like a litany I promise to hold you like Helios Kiss you like kenophobia Love you like lifeblood

We will live like transients in early morning breath clouds Constructed under calcine chaos I want you to know that you will not spend another night Without my presence filament fire in your starlight soliloquies

I will live like spectral fire in the verses you speak like cosmic dust And darling, when you left antimatter in my vasculature I left inferno undercurrents in your solar plexus I don't intend to stop kissing you like kerosene So long as you don't stop captivating me like cosmology

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Heartbeat Harmonies

I met you where soil meets sky and you told me Darling, I will hold you until my sun browned bones are bleached silver in the shattered moonlight Because you are the very marrow within them

You kissed yourself into my framework Carved your verses into my being with surgical steel precision Made a home for yourself in my chest cavity And when you took hold of my shoulders You left your tilted axis atmosphere infectious in my roadmap veins And I can't seem to find a cure in the shattered glass of your poem-stained psyche

I want to get lost in your ashtray vertebrae If only to reside in your intrinsic sentimentality I want to waste space in your pinprick sighs A congenital immersion in the very nucleus of your being I want to kill time in your sacred trachea To leave my fingerprints inkblot timid on your smoke-stained soul

I abandoned all hope for salvation a long time ago But you make me want to believe in forever again So tell me, would you accept me as a sinner, an extension of your tree fort universe Because I don't know how to exist without your crimson heartbeat harmonies

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I love the saccharine sweetness of your sun-warmed sentiments The way you speak words like wine makes my heart beat like baby, I feel you like concentric necessity when we press our hands together Oxidizing my thoughts with the friction of your kinetic passion

I’m counting the seconds to impact between Our digitally whispered words and the pulses of your spinal column My threadbare veins could palpitate a chorus for you I couldn’t quiet my vociferous heart if I tried

You have taken root in my chest cavity and lifted my aurora borealis soul Autumn-red leaves entangled in my poem-stained psyche You are my new leaf and I’m thanking the universe for being transitory because You are the change in scenery that ruptured my prison-break mentality Don’t go

Our cataclysmic collisions form the most beautiful bruises Like empyrean skies ashen against my amethyst arteries Sacred geometry pressed together in the white noise as we Ride the tailspin on the cusp of an ever-expanding universe

You disarmed me with a single smile, a welcome assault on my defenses, A convection current of conviction and honey-heavy confessions We are the universe in ecstatic motion, whirling in an unrelenting revolution And tethered to nothing but the pull of gravity between our astral bodies

I am tethered to you through nonlinear dimensionality The connection I feel to you is so strong That I am certain that I fancy you in every alternate reality of my existence

I have found that I am very accomplished at writing endings but I hope that I never have to write our breakup poem I hope that your iambic influx is an isochronal experience in my emergent infrastructure Interlopers in the cosmic dust of our keloid corporeality

[moderndaydissonance-blog]

Starlight

You are a celestial phenomenon Not a supernova, mind you - a spectacular explosion of dazzling light that expands to envelop you only to fizzle out into the vacuity of a black hole No, you are a nebula, your eyes the lens through which the light of a billion unnamed stars filters through clouds of cosmic dust and endless layers of starlight Intercepted by my own cosmos, you shake up my personal universe like a snow globe, glitter swirling like unmoored stars in my head

You touch the small of my back, and send a thousand zithers of fire through my veins The mysterious connectivity of nerves zithering through my synapses, awakening sleeper cells of feeling that ricochet into my consciousness Adding layers of dimension to an inner landscape that only seems to expand in your presence Possibly infinitely If a light touch to the small of my back can do that to my knees, anything is possible

I want to warm my face against your neck, steam you up like a mirror, and write my name on you with my fingertip If winter is good for anything, it’s good for this - creating an internal landscape with uninterrupted potential like freshly-fallen snow I make wishes on you like shooting stars and eyelashes, promises that I don't dare utter out loud for fear of shattering a possibility far beyond my ken

You make my heart dance to congenital heartbeat harmonies in conjunction with the butterflies I've inherited from the first shy smile yielded in our first interactions My whole being, my very cells, arched toward you in an imitation of a question mark, aching to become an ampersand I don't believe in prayer, but God how I want to believe in miracles And goddamn, how you've convinced me of the reality of magic contrived between the coalescence of our magnetic fields Coaxing us into the unwritten rapture of a serendipitous story