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More batman au where all the batkids are really young

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bruce and dick...

https://x.com/BonerWizard/status/1897806955042988386?s=19

You're so cool ily for suggesting this

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So mad at how long this took

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I think the Jason that gets isekaied into the Adam West show keeps a diary that documents the development of his mental health

"dear diary. Today Weird Dick asked me if I wanted to wear his Robin suit for a Halloween costume party while we were distracting the villains and I burst in tears."

"dear diary. The bats of this universe have this strange meta power where they just say things by association of ideas and that makes them true. They just call it "deductive abilities" and I don't think they've realised yet. Last time I framed a conversation about the zoo with Barbara to get her to the conclusion that Scarecrow and Penguin had teamed up and it just happened. I worry how this is going to affect the multiverse."

"dear diary. Today I killed the joker."

"dear diary. Today I killed the joker."

"dear diary. There's something seriously wrong with this universe."

"dear diary. Today I tried to jump in front of a nuke but bruce jumped in front of me and then a dolphin jumped in front of bruce and the dolphin's death neutralised the nuke. I fear I must resign myself to the ways of this world."

"dear diary. Today Weird!Bruce told me he was proud of me."

"no seriously wtf is going on with Selina?"

"dear diary. Today the bats broke into this universe with a portal and told me to get back home. I said no. Weird! Dick told Normal! Dick an insult so lame Normal!Dick popped a vessel. Weird!Bruce sent an "itchy powder bang grenade" at Normal!Bruce to get him to leave. It was nice."

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LMAO THE DESCRIPTION???

“…Sorry about the Kryptonite Condom…apparently Lois and Selina agreed that the Fujoshi kink is maximized if I’m the top…the things we do for our ladies amiright?”

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me appearing when someone mentions my interests core

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most normal, sane, AI father and son bonding moment. also gail is a fine name for a polar bear you right

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one more hour till i break my fast

one more hour till i break my fast

one more hour till i break my fast

one more hour till i bre

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HELL YEAH BATMAN FREEDOM OF SPEECH

he’s probably saying this to the green lantern though for making fun of his bat-sona

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Skibidi die.

Skibidi die.

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15 year old Dick Grayson: I’m joining the swim team.

Bruce, trying to remove his eye paint with the new micellar water Selina got him: Okay.

Dick: I have to shave my legs. Gotta go fast.

Bruce: Do you need a new razor?

Dick: No I’m just not sure what to do? I found a YouTube tutorial but…Eh. Don’t trust it.

Bruce: Hn. Give me an hour.

Dick: Where are you going?

Bruce, mumbling: Trial run. Will report back with results.

—

Dick: So how did it go?

Bruce: Mn. Fine. Be careful around the knees. Against the grain. Use more shaving gel than you think you need.

Dick: Alright thanks for your sacrifice.

—

Later:

Bruce: *crawls into bed wearing briefs and an oversized t-shirt*

Selina: 👀

Bruce: Don’t.

Selina, running a foot up Bruce’s leg: Aww-

Bruce, eyes fixed on the ceiling: Don’t.

Selina: Babygirl did you shave all nice and smooth for me—

Bruce: *blushing furiously* SELINA—

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LMFAOOO????

The Unending Fight for... Relevancy

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unfortunate series of events at the charity gala

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HES SO AUUUSHHHFHHHSHHHHH DAMIAN WAYNA ILYSM HES SO CUTIEEER ISTG HES ADORABLE

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AWWWW OMG HES SO BABY

which one of your pets is your favorite?? also if you don’t want any i will GLADLY take one off your hands :)

I love all of my pets, but I am particularly fond of Goliath - he was my first one, after all.

Here is a picture of him as a baby. Goliath is a dragon bat.

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old freaky man core 🎀

i think bruce could take batman in a fight

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valid me too. ima make waffles now BYEEE!!

i have a VERY important question for you mini bruce. waffles or pancakes?? quickly i dont have much time i need to figure out what to eat for dinner..

I do like a good pancake but I prefer waffles.