missfortune-xyz

[missfortune-xyz]

i snuck in to the central saint martins white show.

Now, to say that I snuck in would be a bit of hyperbole. I did not break or bend any rules to get in but forgive me i needed a catchy title. I just so happen to be a student at London College of Fashion, a college united with CSM under the University of the Arts London umbrella. Our schools may have a rivalry of sorts, but my student ID gets me onto the campus nonetheless, so that sounds like free tickets to a fashion show to me.

For those of you that haven't heard of the 'White Show', it's a renowned tradition upheld by Central Saint Martins 1st year Fashion students. Every year, the new cohort of up-and-coming designers are initiated into the college through the White Project, and subsequent White Show. This rite of passage involves designing in only white calico and/or white felt, pushing students to focus on components such as texture and form to elevate their work. These garments are then displayed and paraded in the prestigious 'White Show' ran by the fashion communication and promotion cohort - inviting various journalists, designers, and industry pros to introduce them to the rising talent. This is not only then reported on by 1Granary, CSM's own journalism platform, but also by institutions such as Vogue, SHOWStudio, Dazed, and more.

On Thursday, December 8th 2022, I had the pleasure of being able to attend the White Show. This year's presentation theme was dubbed 'the playground', rationalised by the idea of utilising play to explore and define a sixth sense through fashion. Sponsors included L'Oreal Paris, KVD Beauty, Halo Events, Covation Bio, and Prosecco Doc. The show's instagram followed a conceptual take on childhood nostalgia - utilising designers' garment forms as hula hoops, decorating models' faces with stickers, and combining both 2D and 3D imagery to promote the department's work. The runway itself was decorated with towers of colourful balloons, minimally, but still visible. Originally I had thought that this minimal set began to lose the theme - but remember, these are students working on a tight budget. Most of all, this is not a curated collection presented by a singular design entity and the show is not designed to sell an experience in the same way. The White Show is, first and foremost, about the designers.

My viewpoint unfortunately wasn't the best. I arrived on campus shortly before 4pm (the show was scheduled to start at 5pm). Even at 4pm, the stairways and balconies were filling up rapidly. I managed to find a front row spot on the 3rd floor (4th floor for those of you that use 1st floor over ground floor) overlooking the runway from above. I was able to see the designs as the models graced the catwalk, but from a practically birds-eye viewpoint and not close enough to see full details.

Regardless, I loved the show.

I have no intent to go through and full-on critique the show (although I'll be discussing my favourite looks in my next post!). These are my peers, and more than anything else I am extremely proud of them. I have friends who participated in both the design and production of the event, and having heard their struggles and seeing how incredibly busy they were, I'm so excited, relieved, and proud of them. The White Show can act as a pivotal moment for these young designers, and I'm excited to see what they produce next.

You can watch the show recording here, and to see any more info about the show feel free to check out the website too!

If any of CSM's first years happen to stumble across this post, congratulations! You all did so well and the show was incredible! I wish you all the best of luck going forward!!

[missfortune-xyz]

why i can't wear ballet flats.

If you had told my 15-year-old self that ballet flats would return in the early 2020s, I don’t think I would have believed you. I adored the Valentino Tango pumps and had tried styling ballet flats with my school uniform on multiple occasions throughout my secondary school career (ah, the 2010s), unfortunately to no avail. In my mind, the ballet flat was too ill-fitting for me , and was an item that only my mum (or maybe Alexa Chung) could wear and actually look good in.

Skip to 2022, and as a shock twist (although is it really a shock?) the ballet flat is back. Or should I say the ballet pump? The 2022 revival of this classic item expands to formats outside of the flat slip-on that we’re all familiar with – heels, tabis, flatforms, and even sporty styles have hit the market and have skyrocketed the shoe back to its former status.

A very valid argument could be made that the ballet flat never really went out of style, that the ballet flat is simply a classic item that’s wearable regardless of the current it-style. I’m inclined to agree, but we can all see that the trend cycle was not particularly kind to this shoe over the past 5 years.

So why is the ballet shoe back? To no one’s surprise, TikTok currently dominates the trend cycle. Catalysed by the F/W 2022 Miu Miu collection, as well as other brands such as Simone Rocha and Molly Goddard, an updated version of hyperfeminine clothing aesthetics are at the forefront of the modern trend cycle.

I can’t say that I don’t love this trend. Personally, I’m a big fan of rounded toe shoes as opposed to the square and pointy styles that have been popular in recent years. Moreover, I believe that this reincarnation of the ballet shoe brings variations to the shoe that, at least in my mind, were sorely needed. As I mentioned briefly earlier in this post, I grew up seeing my mum reach for a classic ballet shoe (mostly in a patent black, or a funky leopard print) for easy casualwear, and whilst I also tried wearing this style myself, it never really stuck.

The return of the ballet shoe begged me to think – why did this not work for me?

The classic ballet flats, in my opinion, hold two major issues:

The silhouette that the ballet flat creates, whilst simple, can often feel unbalanced.

They’re deeply uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time.

I am a flatform shoe enjoyer, and so the minimal silhouette of the ballet shoe brings an unsettling lack of balance when used in tandem with the rest of my clothing. For some, the original silhouette works harmoniously with the rest of their look – think the ‘French Girl’ style, for example. For those of us with a clumsier disposition, or need more support in a shoe, the ballet flat may also seem impractical to wear on a daily basis. Thus, a classic ballet shoe just does not fit with the rest of my wardrobe or my lifestyle, and there is no purpose in investing in a trend that simply does not suit.

I don't think these feeling is uncommon. The resurfacing of the ballet shoe has not been without its scepticism.

Having said all of this, I still, like many others, enjoy the aesthetics and vibe of the ballet shoe, and this design revival brings the perfect opportunity to finish what my younger self started. As much as the styles put out by Miu Miu and Simone Rocha are something out of a dream, I’m a university student and at ~£600+ there’s simply no room in my life for that price point right now unless anyone wants to sponsor me ;) . I’ve tried similar silhouettes through the ‘A Warrior’s Heart’ style by KOI footwear, but found that the material simply did not withstand my constant lack of physical coordination and scuffed far too quickly.

Even amongst the heeled variety, Nodaleto and Carel’s mary janes still sit outside of my price bracket. It felt as if this revival, despite all its improvements and positives, still remained inaccessible to me. The lower price point provided styles that would not work aesthetically or practically in the long-term, and the higher price point would not work financially. Even second-hand sales proved too expensive. For a while, it felt as if I would have to sit this one out, despite evaluating that the right shoe would be able to remain in my closet rotation beyond its trend time.

Now, I want to make it clear that I will not be providing a list of potential buys. It’s important to me that I’m avoiding the endorsement of unnecessary purchase, and so instead of showing my ‘buy list’, I’ll be walking you through the process I undertook to complete my mission. As a 19-year-old in the process of transitioning from the wardrobe of my 'teenage self' to my 'young adult self', it’s important to me that I buy items that will fit in my wardrobe long term as opposed to trend items. For this very same reason, I’ll be avoiding fast fashion shops when selecting a shoe, as my aim is to find something more timeless that will last longer (plus, it’s better for the environment). I don’t buy shoes very often, so I’m more focused on investing in pieces that will last longer as much as I am able to afford to do so.

As the overcomplicater I am, I decided to formulate a 3 stage plan to find the perfect addition to my shoe collection.

the plan:

Step 1 – Trial

I’ve mentioned my mum prior in this article and how growing up I saw her wear ballet flats often. My first port of call was to message her and see if she has a pair she no longer uses. I wanted to affirm that the traditional version of the style was not right for me, and as opposed to buying it, it would be much better to borrow and try it out first.

I was in luck. (it’s a good thing we’re the same size)

Step 2 – Analysis

At the end of my trial, I decided to take a step back and analyse what aspects of the shoe worked, and what didn’t. I compared the flats I borrowed, to any shoes I previously owned that share similar characteristics, as well as my ideal styles to identify what I liked and what I didn’t. From there, I could formulate exactly what I’m looking for.

Step 3 – The Hunt.

Now, in all honesty, this step is what I want to focus on the least. I could give a list of my ‘top 50 ballet shoe variants’, but that’s contrary to what I actually want to do with this post. My intent here is not to provide product placement or outright promote overconsumption, but rather to offer commiseration and problem-solving to those of you who may be in the same boat as I am. To those of you who aren’t, I hope this provided a little entertainment at least.

For anyone who does want to know about the shoes I ended up choosing – I spent a lot of time scrolling through WConcept and eventually found a cute pair that fit the criteria (and my budget) well. I’ll be putting aside some money from Christmas and my next payday so that hopefully I’ll be able to buy in time for the new year.

If anyone wants an update once I've got them - let me know!

resolution:

As of the moment, I haven't managed to order the shoes. I'm pretty broke, so for now they'll stay at the top of my bookmarks list for another time. It's not entirely a negative thing though.

It's pretty cold in the UK right now, so I'm mostly sticking to warmer boots that I can layer thick socks under to keep warm - it's not like these shoes are going to help keep me warm. Waiting thus means that I'll get a cute new shoe just in time for the spring which, in my opinion, is perfect timing considering the style and aesthetic of the shoes anyway.

All in all, I'm not too bothered by waiting. It's not exactly as if I have a choice, and this process was an exercise in informed buying as much as it was a chance to find the perfect shoes.

In that case, this was a job well done.

[missfortune-xyz]

i am a failure.

i made this short film to submit as my final project on my foundation year. to avoid beating around the bush - it was really rough and did not go the way i wanted in the slightest. regardless, i was able to pull this together and i hope it's something that maybe someone out there might be able to resonate with. enjoy <3

i had 8 official weeks to complete this project, with a 3-week easter break tucked between weeks 3 and 4. the project was entirely my own - i wrote the brief, i chose the concept, i was able to take this project in any direction i wanted. this was so foreign in comparison to the projects i had completed throughout the year prior to this final one; our briefs were set and our stimuli were given, not chosen.

yet somehow, this was the hardest.

looking back, i think working with a completely set agenda is almost easier in many ways (especially in the graded context of school/college/uni. at least with a set brief, one's creativity is offered the boundaries of restraint - yes, it can be too precise and limiting at times, but when done right it offers focus that the creative mind can often lack.

i originally wrote my brief about how self prophecy, failure, and superstition can link together. i started off by looking at jungian psychology, and superstition/luck across various cultures and histories and felt energised - i had a list of planned references and ideas for research/experiments and was ready to go through with what should've been my best project of the year. my final grade and subsequent university admissions depended on this after all.

i lost track around week 3 and failed to get back on track until week 7.

i nearly forfeited a whole year of hard work.

my impostor syndrome decided to kick it up a notch from just-about-bearable to extra-spicy in merely a fortnight. whether i cracked under the pressure of our looming final submission, or whether the concept just didn't click is beyond me, but just like an episode of hot ones, the temperature increased and i couldn't stand the heat.

to put it bluntly, i floundered for weeks. not just the 4 official weeks that sat between Week Three and Week Seven, but the almost two months that included the easter break. i jumped from idea to idea with no real inspiration, no focus, and no confidence.

i categorise myself as an a-list overthinker. if a thought can be thought then i've thunk it. catastrophising might as well be my profession at this point. i ended up chasing and overthinking every idea and piece of feedback i got, to the point that my own ideas took a backseat in the project.

things came together at the end of week 6. i found out that i had won a £250 grant that i could spend on my project in any way i wanted (i had sent in my application back in easter on impulse with no expectations to actually get it!). i got some feedback that finally clicked and prompted me to stick to my guns more. i took a stand, set a boundary, and went back to the beginning.

well, sort of.

i went back to some of the ideas i had looked at right at the beginning of the project, but decided to mix it with my own experiences on the project, as well as the best of what i had researched throughout the whole journey. i pulled together a script, shoot plan, and set piece in a single weekend and got to work.

i had a week to finalise the plan and shoot, and then one week to edit and get together everything i needed for submission. it was rough and took a helluva lot of late nights and overnighters, but it worked. filming wasn't without its issues either, but my energy was renewed and so was my focus. i edited visual, audio, and sound design and i was ready to go.

i didn't end up getting the grade i wanted, but that okay.

in all honesty, i don't think there was anything i really could've done to recover my grade in the way that i had wanted. upon reading the feedback from my assessment, i realised that things that went wrong were things i was never going to be able to fix. my floundering had consequences.

more than anything though, i'm glad i was able to pull it together. i'm not a fan of personal projects - i love when other people do them, but for me it doesn't tend to go well :(. to even be able to produce a coherent outcome is more than i had imagined i would accomplish. the film is rough - some of the dialogue is clunky, the audio is odd and the pace is too slow, but its okay. in a normal set you'd have people taking different roles in the production process, but i had to do pretty much all of this myself. it's a step in the learning process and this project is what it took for me to fully realise that.

if anyone read to the end of this thank you. i hope that the emotions you see in this are something that maybe you can relate to? let me know what you think :

[missfortune-xyz]

unknown mind, AI in our future.

(may 2022)

with zahra badawi.

[missfortune-xyz]

anguish.

(may 2022)

with dominic murray.

how do we define ourselves in turmoil? this shoot explores the storm-before-the-calm, the 'ego-death' that precedes one's emergence as a new, proudest and most expressive version of oneself in the context of queer identity.

check out his book inCONTROL for the full narrative.

[missfortune-xyz]

introductions.

hey!

my name is lala, i usually go by she/her but i'm fine with they/them too. i'm 19, and a struggling fashion student based in london.

this blog will probably end up as some weird mix of diary, ramblings, portfolio and who-knows-what-else. i have no idea yet but i'll figure it out.

to be honest, i'm not entirely sure how much personal information i want to share. i'll stick a little about section at the end of the post, but i have no idea what trivia to put there so i might add to it as i go. please feel free to send an ask anytime!

as i mentioned before, i study fashion. i figured that's an experience that most people don't really get to have, but still might be interested in - so i figured why not write about it? i wanted to try out writing more (leaning journalism rather than fiction), and settled on starting a tumblr. i have no intent of going mega-professional in my writing - i want to keep it pretty casual to try to experiment more. i think i'll enjoy having the freedom to write about whatever i want, however i want.

having said that, i'm still figuring out a balance so please bare with me. there's definitely going to be a lot of trial and error as i try this out!

about me!

im from the uk and am irish + nigerian.

my native language is english but i speak half-decent japanese and a tiny bit of spanish. i definitely want to pick up language learning again sometime in the future!

i'm pretty sure i'm an enfp

i specialise in art direction/creative direction + photography, but am getting into writing (as you can see by the blog), film, and some other skills through my degree :)

i love baking! i make macarons when i'm stressed, and various different things the rest of the time (if you want any recipes let me know?)

big music enjoyer. my taste is a little all over the place but if you want or have music recs let me know!! (i've been listening to a lot of txt, anderson .paak, twice, and rosalía recently)

[missfortune-xyz]

starting at the beginning.

Why in the godforsaken year of 2022 am I starting a Tumblr blog?

I felt for a while that, before I post anything I had prepared, that I find some kind of justification to explain or validate why I’m here. First, is blogging dead now? So why start? Second, why Tumblr of all places?

We all know Tumblr has built up its own distinct reputation (the word ‘hellsite’ comes to mind) and its associated more with fan culture than the traditional blog format. This kind of blog would appear to be much better placed on something like WordPress or Squarespace, so why Tumblr?

I’d like to make it known before I continue that this is by no means my first major encounter with Tumblr. This account is indeed new, but I’ve been here since the ripe old age of 11 back in 2014. Like many of you, spending my formative years on this website has led me to witness things that the average non-tumblr user may find deranged. It’s been a tumultuous journey, but I never felt the need to leave Tumblr either.

As a nerdy tween/teen in the mid 2010s, Tumblr was an obvious choice for me to spend my spare time on. The shows I liked, the games I liked, the books I liked all had communities here that I didn’t have access to in real life. I lived in a small village on the outskirts of a small town in the middle of the English countryside – there were no physical spaces I could go to discuss these interests. I think this feeling was and still is common amongst most of us. Tumblr filled a social gap that the majority of us did not have the resources to fill IRL.

Originally, when I was considering making a blog, I looked at WordPress. I still use my personal Tumblr account (I’m a certified stalker account – I like and I reblog but I never post), but at first, I looked to WordPress to host my ramblings. It’s a giant in the blogging world and every single blog example that I’ve seen that exists in my desired genre existed on WordPress.

I quickly encountered two major issues when I started to look into this.

The first was that any feature I would need to use to create what I wanted was behind a paywall. I’m a student! £200+/year is not something I can afford to fork out when I’ll mostly be rambling into the void!

The second, was about the feeling of WordPress. It felt a bit too… professional… for lack of a better explanation. I did not want to create some majorly branded, almost commercial site, I wanted something that reflected myself much better. I have no intention to behave with the utmost seriousness in my blog, and so I decided I wanted to look to make something significantly personal to myself.

(This is by no means to bash anyone who does use WordPress, I still think it’s great, it’s just not what I’m looking for.)

This brings me back to Tumblr. Whilst my most recent personal account is in default design purgatory, my blogs of the golden age were customised to the nth degree via themes. For a short period, I even began to learn to code so that I could experiment further (although I’ve long forgotten it all now). It fit almost perfectly – free, customisable, casual, and already knew how to use it. Any issues I identified felt dwarfed by how right it felt to start this blog on Tumblr. It felt nostalgic, it felt student-y, it felt like myself, and most of all it gives me the freedom to explore this format in any way I want to.

Tumblr might be on the edge of a revival anyway, so…..

I’m not sure if this will ever get any audience, but to be honest, that isn’t really my concern. Really, who cares about traffic? It almost feels more comfortable not having an audience - less pressure, more freedom. It feels like I’m using Tumblr ‘wrong’ (but is there really a way to do so?) to be using it like this, since my history with this site has been more fandom-based, but my convictions are solid. I’m perfectly content with speaking into the void, and any notes I do receive will be treasured.

I’m going to leave my personal introduction to the next post. It was really important to me to just get my rationale out of the way first, whether that be for practical reasons or just to absolve my own anxieties. Starting a blog is, for who knows what reason, scary and this is my first time making an account with any intent to post on. I hope you stick around, it’ll be a journey as I figure out truly what I want this to be, but I think it’ll be fun nonetheless.

[missfortune-xyz]

the senses in fashion from a neurodivergent perspective.

(may 2022)

with evie howard.

[missfortune-xyz]

london wind.

(may 2022)

with weisen hong.

[missfortune-xyz]

wear your crown.

(may 2022)

with amira kamara.