minstarrs

[minstarrs]

I'm so full of hate it's not even funny anymore.

Like they're my friends i HAVE to be happy for them, but i can't. I hate them sooo much... And they seem like they loathe me too. Like there was this math exam and i was crying abt how i did a question wrong. My friend goes "which one was it" and i tell her she doesn't actually smile but literally happiness spreads through her face i wanted to bash her head against the wall so bad.

I hate my friends, I hate my parents, i hate myself, i hate everyone and everything. Why am i like this

[minstarrs]

the feeling of absolute disgust when i get a bad grade

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feat. mikage reo || contains: gn!reader, no pronouns used, implications of sex but nothing explicit, angst w/ some comfort, time-skip so aged-up characters (wc: 1.0k)

you break reo��s heart at seventeen not because you want to, but because you have to.

his parents find a singular condom wrapper in his bedroom trashcan and run after you like madmen. venom dripping as they tell you to lay your hands off their son if you know what’s best for you whilst slide you over a hefty stack of hush money for your silence. your fingers tremble when you take and count it, calculating that this would be enough to help you and your struggling aunt pay the piling bills once and for all.

they figure that won’t be enough. so they send you to the states, somewhere far where reo can’t find you. they say they’ll pay for your living and education expenses and that they’ll fund for your college—just stay away from their son and keep quiet. with no other option, you take the offer on behalf of your poor aunt.

on the other side, reo is losing it. his sanity is on the decline, a thin thread that barely holds him together unraveling more by the day that he can’t find you.

you’ve stopped coming to class. stopped picking up his calls and responding to his texts, his speech bubbles turning green one day to his horror. when he visits your old complex, he finds that his gifts he’s sent to you remain untouched and collecting dust in your mailbox. and when he asks the landlady what happened to the tenants in 4b, she lowly mutters they simply moved out, knowing one wrong move could land her in a sticky situation as well.

he does everything in his power to track you down, but everyone that he talks to is under his parents command before his, and they give him filtered answers that lead him nowhere.

on his hands on knees, reo begs his parents to let him know where you are, to at least let him know that you were safe. so they paint a false narrative of you to fully shatter the remnants of his heart that clings onto you—a selfish, greedy thing. snatched their money without hesitation when it was offered to you. and when they see the heartbreak that smears on their son’s face, the job is finished.

he thought you were different, a white rose amongst the common red. he thought you saw deeper into him than just his family name, that you saw him—but no. you saw him as a walking bank and nothing more. you were just like the rest of them. how could he be so naive?

his heart crumbles into dust and blackens itself at the mere thought of your face, a specialized hatred rooting and curating itself just for you.

twelve years later, he’s at a charity event for a company that one of his subsidiaries are working with. idle chatter and meaningless conversations go by, and all the incoming-ceo of mikage corp wants to do is go home. the event is beginning to finally wrap up and he’s finishing up some last-minute talks with a couple of associates from his subsidiary. reo bids them goodbye at last and starts to pace out the door until he freezes in his place at the sight that beholds in front of him.

you stand there, quietly right behind a man in a pressed suit with a tablet in your arms. twelve years has aged you gracefully to his disdain, making you more radiant than when he first met you, when you broke his heart. a little taller now, with your hair styled differently yet neatly and your best facial features matured into your face, reo’s breath hitches at the sight of you; he thinks the chandelier gracing your being with that halo-like glow isn’t helping his case.

his fingers twitch and his arm juts out slightly, as if to reach for you, to touch you and feel that you’re real and here in front of him. a trembling lip silently calls out for your name, but a weird noise jumps out of his throat that makes everyone in front of him look in his direction—you included.

the man that you stand behind—lavinho is his name, reo believes—breaks out into a large smile and approaches the heir, calling out his name. but his voice goes muffled, your wide-eyed face being the only thing crystal clear in hazy vision.

you were doing so well, avoiding him for this dreaded night, and you nearly just got away without notice until the very last second, fate drawing a wicked turn of events.

you cough out to lavinho that you’ve forgotten something in the bathroom and usher out before he can reach you first, using your boss as a distraction to get away. shoes clicking rapidly against the tiled floors, you focus all your energy in escaping reo’s radius and think you’ve just about made it to the parking lot where your car is… until you feel a hand grab your wrist.

the stiffness in your neck is telling you not to turn around. you want to believe your hand is just caught in something, that the warmth enveloping your skin is just caused by something unworldly, but the scent of cologne that airs around you suffocates you and twists your conscience back to reality.

a cold breath draws from your lips. you attempt to pull your hand away from whatever had hitched it, but it remains where it is, stubborn. your neck creaks as you slowly turn back, the one person you’ve been attempting to avoid all evening staring his iris eyes incredulously at you.

reo thought he’d be cursing your name ‘til the day he was six feet under, his heart shallowed and chilled since the day you severed yourself from his life. but his chest warms, something thawing inside of him as you share your gaze with him, the image of his first love looking back at him with the trepidation behind your stare going unnoticed.

he smiles, his eyes with dilated pupils softening.

“you came back to me.”

[minstarrs]

shoutout to dark circles. my personal viagra

[minstarrs]

FASHION GIRLIES I NEED HELP❗❗

My aunt bought this for me last year and it's soo pretty and im soo greatful for it but i don't have an idea on how to style it... I swear to god she sat in my closet for a year and I'm guilty for not wearing it after my aunt spent money on it😞

PLEASE HELP ME I NEED IDEAS ANYTHING PLEEK🙏🙏🙏

[minstarrs]

Hello there! 🌸💫 I hope this message finds you in good spirits 💕

I’m reaching out with a humble request to help my family in Gaza. Could you please reblog my pinned post or contribute $10 to help us meet our basic needs and provide essentials for the children in my family? 🙏🏼

Your support, whether through sharing our story or donating, brings hope and relief to us during these challenging times. Together, we can make a difference. 🌼

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Your kindness means the world to us. 🌷✨💖

I do not have a big following but please anyone who sees this help them i can't donate anything since i am a minor bu please help them they have no choice but this🙏🤍

[minstarrs]

I’m such a lover girl (girl who’s yet to experience the love she’s yearned for her whole life)

[minstarrs]

i'm SO laid back, i only care about like 3 things in the world:

my favorite fictional characters and music

every person on this earth and their opinion of me

the crushing psychological weight of being alive

[minstarrs]

The only thing that actually scares me about my passion is what if I'm 40 but my letters and short stories are still about him?

[minstarrs]

My biggest mistakes

2022 september 10th, the night before first day of school.

My aunt started to work at a private school as a teacher. She asked me if my father could drop her off on our way to my school.

First mistake i made, i said yes.

2022 september 11th, first day of school

After we dropped her at her school my dad dropped me off too. by the time i came all the seats were taken... except two, one near the class pervert and one near- who is that, is he new? ehh better than the pervert... "Uhhh hi. can i sit here?"

The second and the worst mistake i made, i asked if we could sit together.

2022 october 12th, english class

"Okay guys! since we have exams coming up i've decided to take you all to an amusement park!!" Mrs. Susan said, and she started to ramble about the price, what we needed to do to get a ticket etcetra... Boring... "Bree! you're coming right?" my deskmate Tristan asked, no. i wanted to say... "If my dad lets me of course." fuck, why did i say that. Well no point in deciding aganist it now is it?

Third mistake, i decided to go.

2022 october 17th, math class

"There's a chance that i won't be able to come" i wispered to Tristan. "What!" he wisper-shouted back. "something about not bringing my id in time ig..." i was quite sad, and i didn't know why. "You have to come dude, it won't be fun without you!" he whined like a kid, i smiled at him "Really? No one said that about me before..."

My fourth and most stupitest mistake, i believed him.

2022 october 22nd, on the bus before going to the amusement park

Tristan looked around, not seeing an empty seat next to his friends he turned to me. "Hey is this seat taken? " he asked "nope, noone wanted to sit with me." i said "Cool! I'll get to sit with you then" I didn't say anything. He spoke again "You play **** right? Why don't we play together?" "Sure! I was planning on sleeping but this seems way more fun" we played that game untill we reached the amusement park.

Fifth mistake, why did i even bother playing with him

2022 november 11th, free period

Me and my friends were talking about how weird and horrible the boys in our class was. Aliyah started to talk "You know Bree, you and Tristan are really alike! it's like he's your genderbent version!" oh how i wish she had never spoken at all. "You think so?" "Hmhmm! It's like you two were made for each other!" okay now you've gone too far.

The sixth mistake, why would you start crushing on him just because of a sentence.

2022 november 25th, p.e. class

Everyone was outside, i was on my period so i got permission from the teacher to stay inside. While i was looking at my phone Tristan entered the classroom, i quickly hid my phone. "What are you doing here?" i asked as he walked to his seat (the teacher split our desks bc he wanted to sit with his friend) "Just needed some water." he drank from the bottle "Why are you here shouldn't everyone be outside?" i got embarrassed "My stomach hursts so bad, so i stayed here." He got closer to the desk i ws sitting on. Putting his hand on my cheek and my neck "You don't have a fever." "No shit sherlock, if i did then i would be home by now." "Rude. anyways i need to get going or Mr. Williams gonna be up at my ass..." As he walked away i took my phone out, opened intagram and posted a story. I wrote "how can someone be this captivating?" on a black screen.

Seventh mistake, why would you even post that?

2022 december 5th, lunch break

It was cold, i was sleeping on my desk with my hood on. I was never a heavy sleeper, so the slightest change would wake me up. Someone pulled my hood off and started to pet my head, playing with my hair. I thought it was one of my friends and i liked people playing with my hair so i didn't budge. When the patting stopped i lifted my head to see Tristan. He seemed embarrassed when i looked at him.

My eighth mistake, i thought this meant something.

You know everything stopped after new years. Everything we had, gone in an instant. The long stares, romantic gestures, gifts, playing video games together. Because he found diffrent people to hang out with, because he ruined his sweet personality just to be included.

When i was little kid my mom would be like "choose your friends wisely, they could ruin your life." i didn't belive her then but seeing these with my own eyes i believed her more than ever.

I still think about him these days... Not because i still have feelings for him, no. (those were gone the moment he became friends with my bullies.) But i think about how he will regret everything he did in the future, how he started to ruin his life at such a young age, and how did my sweet boy turned into a heartless, vape addicted, rude guy.

I know for sure he won't read this and even if he does there's no way he'll understand a thing. But here's something for you. You were my first -and hopefully last- crush. I really hope you're doing well. Oh and i was the one who put that "free kisses" ticket in your locker. It's been in my phonecase for a long time now how come you never noticed it lmao?

With love and well wishes -Mins

(Little ps. All the names in this story has been changed bc i don't wanna be recognized plus they were not english names. Thx for reading!!🤍🤍)

[minstarrs]

Yk sometimes i just wanna ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚