merrybacchus

[merrybacchus]

I'm enjoying Flux Flow Project - Behind the Horizon (Original Mix) while listening to the playlist 'Deep Progressive Downtempo' https://www.di.fm/playlists/progressive-downtempo

[merrybacchus]

I feel like giving up. Tired of trying and failing, usually by myself.

I can't get help, support or a follow long enough to do anything.

I want to give up.

[merrybacchus]

Out on the Pantano parkway looking at Sabino Canyon. Could barely see Thimble Peak in the background. The canyon was full of water...

[merrybacchus]

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry for not being more outgoing

I'm sorry for not meeting your expectations

I'm sorry for not being rich or looking rich enough

I'm sorry for not having a good personality, but after many have taken advantage of or taken me for granted, I no longer wish to deal with it.

I'm sorry for not wanting to talk to people after many have used, gaslighted, lied to, or been abusive to me.

I'm sorry for trying to be me when others pay me no attention

I'm sorry for not meeting your "eyeball test" requirement

I'm sorry for not fitting into your version of me

I'm sorry for living...

[merrybacchus]

I need a few more cars😂😂

[merrybacchus]

I'm enjoying Paul Deep AR - Anemona (Deep Mix) on the Deep House channel https://www.di.fm/deephouse

https://www.di.fm/deephouse

A closing vibe if you will, when it's slow and you want to get out at a decent late night hour...

[merrybacchus]

Finally got a few dice painted to see how the numbers look, etc. This my very first batch of dice, so a little off. The next few batches look better. Those are next. Now to find some clear coat for these....

[merrybacchus]

As the year comes to a close I reflect on all the things I had to endure. Mostly trying to get something going as well as just surviving.

My mental health isn't the greatest, since all I seem to be doing is working and sitting on a couch. No working vehicle, or a place of my own, just a couch in a relatives home.

So with the new year coming, I finally have health insurance so I can get therapy that I really need right now.

I'm trying to have a better new year than this past year. Wish me luck!

[merrybacchus]

[merrybacchus]

Why is everyone playing the #assuming game lately?

It seems people are lazy enough to make something up or assume something rather than ask. Are we that afraid of what may be said not true or even somewhat confrontational??

It drives me crazy when I don't have deep enough connections as it is with others...

[merrybacchus]

[merrybacchus]

Today isn't helping my mental state right now.

The past few weeks have me overthrowing on things that I shouldn't be stressing over. Yet here I am again having these dark thoughts. Wishing things would get better but it's only one sided and pleas for help goes unnoticed or ignored.

I really hate feeling like this and wanting to do this, but unless I win the lottery I can't afford therapy and my state health insurance lapsed and make too much for reduced services, but enough to really barely scrap by.

[merrybacchus]

Close to somewhat freedom

A few tasks to handle before I go

Some harder than others

Will not stop me from pushing it along

Will feel the breeze and quiet soon enough

[merrybacchus]

To dream is to live

As living brings freedom

Finding a balance between the two

Never easy doing it alone

My solitary experience helps when there is no help or no one.

[merrybacchus]

Took a rental van out for some night me time. Glad I went and paid the extra mileage for it. Helped me clear my head to what's about to come. Already working on a plan I started in 2020 b4 covid. Almost there and picking up steam...

[merrybacchus]

New mica powder and got a few minor bubbles, but overall liked how it came out. Have new stir sticks and silicone pourers to get better results. This is getting fun and easy to do again with way better equipement!!

[merrybacchus]

These are the bad ones. Too big of a bubble in the edges or top to be used. Will clean them up like the others and may do a giveaway on them. Roll for initiative....

#dice #resinart #diy #bacchus #dnd #roleplay