merry-mournful

[merry-mournful]

solo shift

work kinda sucked i got jipped outta tips 

we had 2 parties (each with 2 servers purely for them) and one party had about6 adults ordering food off the partys tab so me and allie split the requests

wellll they didnt think tipping was required and i made nothing....i had 4 tabs to close out one was $47 and he rounded it up to 50 and that was my tip 

another lady i took care of during the party tipped me 10 on at 50ish bill no biggy thats fine but then at the lanes i brought a pitcher of soda and 2 titos cran and she literally didnt tip me for that

i had a guy who was narcoleptic aknock out in the middle of eating i did everything to make the gf comfortabe brought her water a togo box and checked in every now and then till he woke up they left me $4 

i went in at 5pm and left at midnight and i made $47 and had to tip the bar $7 

im a little annoyed but hopefully i picks up and i make better money

on a plus im getting $8 an hour rather than the usual $6.35 a . waitress makes per hour in CT 

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Work Review

sooo i didnt stay . till 2am they said it was unusually dead last night but i took one table (they had a $9 bill but tipped me $5.43!!) i like this place but i was very bored last night just following everything seemed self explanatory and so i was annoyed but not taking tables. but its only me and allie tonight plus a band is coming so they have to give me tables 

i go in again at 5pm and hopefully i do stay later today 

[merry-mournful]

New Job Feeling Dump

so i start my new job tonight. its a waitressing position which ive done before i have about a years worth of waitressing experience plus a few years busser/host/cashier/food runner experience. im nervous about it because i  told them truthfully im good at what i do because i am but i just hope i didnt over hype myself and i fall short of their expectations. im a good waitress but i have room to improve. now this place is like dave and busters but more. its a full bar and restaurant (plus outside seating), an arcade with prize counter, a bowling alley and they host live entertainment events like bands or speed dating etc. so this is a huge place. i mean i was actually hired on the spot so i must have done a good job explaining myself and have a good work ethic. my shifts sound a little intense but i need the money and hours (today and tomorrow im working 5pm-2am) but they are paying really well. so in CT waitress minimum wage is like $6.35 an hour  plus tips based on how the places does tips. well here im getting $8 an hour plus unpooled tips and i only have to tip out the bar if i sell alcohol (and even then i only have to tip them 6% of my tips throughout the entire night). this job sounds really good and im really excited but im also nervous like restaurants all have different POS systems and im hoping this one isnt purely electronic i have the toast POS system it takes away the shorthand and notes and ways for you to remember who had what. the only other “issue” i have it i have a med i take after dinner which means ill have to take it to work with me and hope i get a break at a decent time and am actually able to eat something 

well maybe tomorrow ill post a review on my first night shift 

[merry-mournful]

my two moods

[merry-mournful]

so i cleared the background check and last night filled out the new hire information butttt today starts the work week and my new hire info was filled out too late because the background check took forever to clear soooo most likely will not be going to work today but got my fingers crossed for tomorrow

[merry-mournful]

im so bored just sitting home waiting around

i want to leave and just go walk around the stores but imbroke and i cant resist buying things i dont always need

its quarter of 2pm and i cant even leave for my appt till 4:15pm 

i cant wait till my new job starts putting me on the schedule 

[merry-mournful]

ughhh per my last post

my therapy appt was scheduled for 4:30 and then he pushed it to 5pm.......i have 0 plans today im literally sitting home waiting around to go to therapy....mind you it 11am rn 

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i hate when my mom talks about how much better i look without my makeup (i usualy wear eyeshadow with a dark black liner on top and bottom) 

she doesnt get that i feel more put together and like lively when i put my makeup on

literally its 10:30 am my dr appt isnt until 5pm and i just put on my makeup like idk i just feel better in makeup than witha natural look

[merry-mournful]

ive made a realization.....i just started watching its always sunny and i find Mac hella attractive......he is the paler version of the guy ive had feelings for, for like over a year now....

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Well ya got me there

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I think a tattoo would make me feel better

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im freaking out

im so fucking broke and i dont have a job rn

like i need to pay part of my credit card bill which is higher than my bank account rn

im freaking out im going to cry

im not very manic often but i manic spend alllll the time

[merry-mournful]

sexuality

so what is my sexuality? i am between being bisexual or pansexual. i am a cis female whos only dated cis males. i am heavily romatically attracted to cis males but not against the idea of getting to know someone of any other gender and forming a relationship. i am sexually attracted to cis males and cis females. i have only been intimate with cis males. marriage wise, i am 99% sure i would only marry a cis male. 

that all being said

i love everyone for who they are not their sex or gender or etc. if you are a good human being i will have no problem forming a connection with you. if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, etc i will literally write you out of my life (i mean excluding my stubborn grandfather but that only because hes family and you cant pick family) i will not entertain a romantic relationship with ANYONE who is wrongfully hateful to a specific group purely for existing

GIRLS CAN KISS GIRLS

BOYS CAN KISS BOYS

I CAN LOVE WHO I WANT TO LOVE

YOU CAN MARRY WHO YOU CHOOSE (who as in human no fucking weird shit remember consent!!!)

FUCK ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG

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i just realized i never fully talk about my sexuality as a whole. ive always just told bits and pieces. im about to head off to dinner with my dad and brother so im not gonna post about it rn but i might very soon

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ADHD got me like *straight up doesn’t do something if my brain decides it isn’t fun or immediately gratifying*

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positive note

ya girl just got called in for a job interview at a diner! its only been like 3 weeks ive been unemployed but that long enough for me. so if you are reading this please cross your fingersn and pray to whoever you believe in and channel positive vibes to me i beg of you! i really need this