merccaptain

[merccaptain]

Bad Advice #7965

Don't like yourself?

Solution

Break yourself down mentally till you barely you understand what reality is then build yourself back up, it is both healthy and natural to do and every therapist and psychologist would agree with me and if they don't they are liarz

[merccaptain]

[merccaptain]

reblog if you're corny and insufferable

[merccaptain]

those sentences are true but they are not finished

"if we meet peoples basic needs, they'll stop working...at shitty work places and find better jobs"

And "billionaires are hard workers...when it comes to how hard they work to manipulate politics so they can underpay their workers and dodge taxes"

[merccaptain]

If you think about it, most american food is actually just other cultures food made for the american market, so i ask you

[merccaptain]

I can't believe you're gay

Going

Against

Yodeling

What will Hanz say?

[merccaptain]

As well all know

British people are all time lordz

[merccaptain]

If you are ever out numbered in a fight remember this one hack that the special forces of the world don't want you to know about

Shit your pants

At first they will laugh, but when you cover our fists in poop and get into a combat stance they will not know what to do

They won't want to fight you because like, who wants to get punched in the face by poop handz

Also, they will be destracted by the scent

[merccaptain]

I hate when people are like "well we never know if we see the same colors, your red could be my brown"

Explain fuckin' color theory then Socrates?

Also i'm pretty sure if that were true, people who get eye transplants would be like "Woah! Why is grey now yellow?"

You are being overly philosophical and it is stupid

It's like if i was like "dude, we never really know if we hear the same sounds" but like then how does language exist?

There are systems that we have in our society that can only exist BECAUSE we all see the same colors, except for color blind people, they don't count...as people, execute them if they can't pass an online color blind quiz

[merccaptain]

The snake from The Bad Guys has teeth

I am mildly disturbed because snakes, do not have teeth

Retractable fangs that inject poison don't count

[merccaptain]

UwU

👉👈

*shits pants and has a heart attack*

[merccaptain]

[merccaptain]

A sentient penis in the oval office

"Sir, the twin penises have just been hit"

President of the United States of Genitalia:

"My god"

[merccaptain]

My brain: "okay hear me out, a boy....but in a dress and with short hair"

Me:

[merccaptain]

So, smol rant

I was recently on a discord server looking for people to join my cannibal spad pirate ttrpg

I was talking about it in the general chat and then the mods decided it was suddenly an nsfw topic so i took the topic to nsfw, fine, some people have boundries and i want to respect that

So i ask if someone was on a deserted island and starving to death what the first and last part of someone they would eat. I got some side eye and we joked around a bit, then i noticed after i sent a message that someone seconds before i sent my message warned me to stop talking about cannibalism, then i scrolled up and recognized that they had warned me earlier but i didn't notice it due to the chat moving quickly or maybe i was just too busy replying to messages to notice it amongst the more noticable replies.

As i was typing "oh sorry, i didn't see that message and i sent that message practically at the same time as yours" i was banned and now i feel like a douche because i made people feel uncomfortable but also i feel like a straight up ban was a harsh punishment when a mute seemed more appropriate.

I just feel bad about making people feel uncomfortable when i was just joking around and I've noticed a lot while looking for people to join this campaign that people are REALLY sensitive about the topic of cannibalism, like more than sex or murder. Like just bringing up the topic as a concept of a campaign or as a joke has gotten me a lot of side eye from people.

Part of me is worried if i'm being creepy, but another part of me thinkz that people are just being overly sensitive and weird about a topic and taking it way too seriously.

Sure, it can be an uncomfortable topic to broach, but also, i'm clearly joking and like there are plenty of things in media that broach this topic that do not get the same level of ostracisation that i've gotten. Idk, i think maybe my approach has been less than gentle and i'll accept that i need to be more gentle about this but also i feel like people are purposefully making it a weird subject.

However i do recognize that the being banned from a server thing was mostly because of a miscommunication.

[merccaptain]

still looking for players with this if anyone is interested

Greetingz alt peoplez i have a surprise for those of you who like to play tabletop games and also like cannibalism

I am running a cannibal space pirate ttrpg and looking for players, i currently have 2 slots open that need to be filled. If you are interested in knowing more here are a few thingies:

Blood is the galactic currency and comes in vials called "V" and is also used to activate magical powers and to power "Blood Reactors" which are fusion reactors that run on blood

Cannibalism is 100% normalized

The only higher powers are known as "Dark Gods" and are self made gods, any other form of higher power is either dead or corrupted into a purely evil thing

You are the member of a pirate crew, willing or otherwise, and you have a captain known as "The Crimson Kid" who has been acting distant and strange lately, muttering about a person named "Andrea".

It is a story driven campaign so no westmarch stuff

Schedule is weekly on Sundays, 6-8pm EST

This is a homebrew game so there are various mechanics and attributes that are special to this and it is a very hazardous world so your character may die in a brutal onslaught of flesh and steel or be eaten alive by some other marauder or abomination of the dark gods

This is 18+ and there will be a lot of guns and violence so you have been content warned

it will take place over Discord VC and we'll be using Owlbear for encounters and such

if you have anymore questions or are interested DM me

[merccaptain]

This is what it's like when talking U.S. politics