mentalhealthrecoverybitches - Tumblr blog

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

me: *deletes tiktok because i was using it to avoid my problems and wasted so much time on it* :) self care

also me: *takes uo knitting again and now is avoiding thinking about my problems* hehe knit hat

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

I think I'm doing better but then one night I crash and it feels like I'm back to square one. I'm so tired. I wish all my suicide attempts had worked.

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Showing self harm scars

Hello my fellow mentally ill peoples,

I wanted to do a post about showing self harm scars because it’s something I’m very passionate about. I think wearing your scars out is brilliant. Scars show healing, growth, recovery. Before anyone attacks me I know just because cuts are healed doesn’t mean that mentally you’re better - but it does show progress. Scars mean they are no longer fresh cuts, it means they are older because they’ve had time to heal and turn into scars. And then wearing your scars out is great because it shows confidence and acceptance. No one should ever have to cover up or hide self harm scars. Let me be clear I’m talking about scars NOT fresh cuts. I think cuts shouldn’t be worn out because it can be very graphic and is much more likely to trigger people - obviously if this happens accidentally then that’s ok you can’t help it I just wanted to make myself clear.

I understand lots of people may feel very self conscious. This was the first ever year I’ve worn my scars out and even managed to post photos in short sleeve tops. The journey to get here though was hard and I still have days when I can’t manage it and that’s fine, take as much time as you need to be ready. Because the thing is people will make comments (unfortunately sometimes rude ones), and people will glance and take a second look but at the end of the day it doesn’t affect them so why give a shit what they think. When I chose whether I’m going to wear my arms out I ask myself one thing: how am I feeling? Because that is the only thing that matters.

Don’t be afraid to wear them scars out, you’re beautiful. Stay safe,

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Update on how I’m doing

Hello my fellow mentally ill people,

I wanted to just do a post about how I’m doing cause I like to write it down somewhere. Depression wise I’m actually doing pretty ok. I obviously still get intense low moods on a regular basis but I can manage it. I’ve been experiencing them for about 7 or 8 years now so I know them very well. I understand the pattern of them and what to do. I have to have a very strict routine which I stick to to keep me sane and in control. I’m about 2 weeks free from self harm, I had a couple relapses in the past month but I’m not letting it become a pattern again. So yeah mood wise I’m ok. My symptoms of psychosis are getting worse though.. I’ve been referred to a mental health team for it and am scared but glad I’m getting help. I’ll have a social worker and I’ll see a psychiatrist who will put me on medication and hopefully get a diagnosis. I keep feeling someone touch my back and shoulder but there’s no one there. It scares me because I have zero control over it, unlike my moods. Anyway that’s my rant over.

Stay safe,

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Please let self harmers wear scar-revealing clothes in peace

If you can see their scars, you don’t need to comment on them. Don’t make them uncomfortable by asking questions or staring. Just let them be.

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Reasons to recover pt.2

11. to feel the sun on your skin

12. to laugh again

13. to hold a loved ones hand

14. to watch your favourite shows

15. to make mistakes and learn from them 

16. to become part of someone else’s recovery story

17. to learn to do something you’ve wanted to do

18. to sing along to your favourite songs

19. to help a friend when they’re upset

20. to travel to other countries

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

If you can't feel pain then you can't feel the opposite

Little Simz

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

“it gets better” is a lie

I hate the phrase “it gets better” because sometimes it doesn’t. It’s unrealistic to say that things will constantly be getting better. Life isn’t continually improving all the time. Things sometimes get worse, then they get better and everything seems great, and then they get worse again and feels as if you’re back to square one. That’s realistic. Life is constantly changing going up and down all the time. It feels as if you’re on the top of the world one minute and at rock bottom the next. Sometimes it’s not like that at all and instead it feels like everything is constantly getting worse. But it’s always changing - everything is temporary and nothing is permanent. That means the good doesn’t last forever but neither does the bad. “It gets better” is a lie, an unrealistic image of recovery and life in general as getting better everyday. Recovery is a journey that has great days and shit days but as long as you appreciate the good stuff you can make it through the bad.

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Starting a programme for psychosis

Hello my fellow mentally ill peoples,

I’m gonna be honest, I’m really scared. I have been experiencing hearing voices for a while now and recently I started feeling things that weren’t there. I hate how uncomfortable I feel saying that. My therapist is referring me to this programme called early intervention, she says it’s a group of young people who are experiencing their first symptoms of psychosis. There’s lots a psychiatrists and mental health workers there. I dunno I’m just scared of how real this is all becoming. I’m really scared people will see me as crazy, only one of my friends knows (and my ex which is kinda awkward now lol). I’m also scared about going on medication cause of all the stigma around it. It’s like with my depression I feel like I’ve learnt to adapt and have more control now, but with this whenever it happens I never know what to do. Anyway I just wanted to write that down somewhere. 

Stay safe, 

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

People Would Care If You Weren’t Here

TW-SUICIDE

Hello my mentally ill peoples, 

I wanted to tell you about some stuff one of my friends told me once. A few weeks before this conversation I had been in hospital after taking a very serious suicide attempt, I’m much safer now but that whole experience is for another time. Anyway she was telling me about the days at school while I was still in the hospital. She said she felt so upset, that she couldn’t bring herself to think about it, let alone if it had actually worked. Some of her friends had noticed she was upset and she just told them she was tired. She said she was so full of regret of not asking me if I was ok in the weeks before hand when she had noticed I was quieter than usual. Her parents had also noticed her not being herself, she told me it felt like a sinking feeling in her chest that I had been in that much pain to do something like that.

Before I ended up in hospital, I was completely convinced that no one would care. I thought the people around me would be better off without me in their lives. When she told me all of this, I was so genuinely shocked. When you get so ill you think no one would care if you were gone, but trust me from personal experiences they do. I know this is what everyone says “there’s people who care about you and love you” but it is so true. I am extremely fortunate that I am still alive today and I can now see that if I wasn’t here there would be people in my life who would be upset, even though I was so convinced I was burden to everyone around me. You’re never a burden because you’re ill - you are a blessing. 

Stay safe, 

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Reasons To Recover Pt.1

1. to enjoy life again

2. to see your friends

3. to see your family

4. to cheer people up

5. to enjoy eating foods you love

6. to hug people you care about

7. to fall in love

8. to find out what your hobbies are

9. to do what you enjoy

10. to travel and see new things

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Mental Health Helplines

Mental health helplines:

Shout 85258 (free text service)

Samaritans 116 123

SANEline 0300 304 7000

The Mix 0808 808 4994 (under 25s only)

Papyrus 0800 068 4141 (under 35s only)

Switchboard 0300 330 0630 (lgbt+ only)

You can always message me whatever whenever but if it is a crisis please find someone in person or contact one of these helplines instead. 

Stay safe, 

Bluebell x 

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Therapy Stuff

Hello my fellow mentally ill peoples, 

I wanted to just write some stuff about therapy in case it helps anyone who’s beginning therapy or anything. So my first experience of therapy was three years ago and I hated it so much. I had counselling at my school so that meant I was taken out of lessons for it and it just made me feel soo uncomfortable. I then didn’t have anything like therapy until last autumn when the NHS put me on this programme called RUSH (stands for rapid response pathway united to reduce self harm) and it worked so well. We did loads of CBT and just giving me techniques and other stuff to help deal with stuff and in the space of 8 weeks I went from being in an incredibly unsafe place to being able to cope most days. When the programme ended I didn’t get any other type of help in place because I felt better, please please please do not stop therapy just when you start feeling better. I went downhill and felt like I was back to square one and had lost all my progress. I then eventually got proper long term counselling in place to stop this happening again and it’s really helped. 

Basically what I’m trying to say is that not all types of therapy work for everyone, and not all therapists work well with their clients that’s just how it is sometimes. The most important thing is that you don’t immediately give up on therapy when it doesn’t work, therapy usually makes you feel worse before you feel better because you have to bring up the painful stuff to solve it. But trust me it’s worth it, it’s really hard work but once you get comfortable with your therapist it gets loads easier. And don’t stop just as you feel better, because why take away the thing that’s making you feel good. It’s scary but it’s also not once you find what works for you. (sorry for the rant lol)

Stay safe, 

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Relapsing

TW-SELF HARM

Hello fellow mentally ill peoples, 

I wanted to do a post about relapsing with self harm. I recently relapsed a couple times in the past week. I think what triggered it was my insecurities about my scars and that they’re not “bad enough”. I also saw someone else’s self harm which I think might have also played a part.

 I wanted to say that there is no shame in relapsing. It doesn’t matter how long you were clean, how recovered you are whatever it’s ok. I think relapsing should be seen as more of a positive thing (hear me out). Relapsing means you’re not in a cycle of self harm it means you’ve gone a while without doing it and that’s a really big achievement. Be proud of yourself (sorry for the cringe). You’re probably gonna feel pretty shit after relapsing that’s a given, but I think the most important thing is to accept it and take control of it. If you try and take control it means you’re not letting it overtake you and turn into a much bigger problem. Trust me I know this is harder than it sounds and it takes so much work and effort but I promise you it’s worth it. 

I think it’s also important to try and figure out what triggered you. It could be a big issue, or could be as simple as you didn’t have the energy to deal with urges that day. Either way in my experience addressing the trigger is a crucial part of moving on because you can see how to deal with it. I’m sorry if I’m saying this like these are all really easy things to do cause fuck knows they’re not but you can do it, it’s all worth it in the end. 

Stay safe, 

Bluebell x

[mentalhealthrecoverybitches]

Intro

hello my fellow mentally ill peoples, 

just making a blog to share my story and spread awareness. I’m 16 and have struggled with depression from around the age of 8/9 (not too sure) and then various other things escalated from that like self harm, suicide attempts, eating disorders, panic attacks and auditory hallucinations (hearing things that aren’t there). 

I’m not making this to make people feel sorry for me or attention nothing like that I just wanna talk about some real shit so other people that have been through similar can feel less alone. I won’t ever post anything if I think it’s too harmful for other people I’m very careful about triggering but I’ll always be honest about how I feel. 

hope everyone is coping ok :)

Bluebell x