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keluar cari takjil sore2 & jalanan sepi & beli2 gapake antri2 aja udah bikin mood bagus bangett🫶🏼

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many people i know told me that journaling didn't work for them. i know we all cope and heal differently but maybe — just maybe — it's done not in the way it's supposed to.

terapi yang "ditugaskan" ke kita untuk kita lakukan secara mandiri itu perlu tau apa tujuannya. saya nemu ada threads bagus yg bahas hal ini secara umum.

di kasus saya, stepnya kurang lebih sama (untuk kasus codependency issue mixed with my many other diagnoses) dan ada yg dipersonalisasi sedikit2, misal di awal2 journaling cuma boleh nulis hal2 ttg diri sendiri & gaboleh bahas org lain sama sekali. trs jg ada dibarengin sama mood tracking (nama emosi dan intensitasnya).

menurut saya journaling ini bermanfaat banget buat semua orang, termasuk yang sehat mental juga. kalau ada gangguan seperti saya, bisa dikembangkan untuk jadi sarana coping yang sehat & membuka gerbang ke sumber masalah (kalau cocok). kalau bingung, bisa coba minta dibantu psikolog atau psikiater, terlepas dari emang ada gangguan atau emang sehat2 aja mentalnya.

do your self a favor, give journaling a try.✨

(if it doesn't "work", that's fine. you've got nothing to lose. just try it.)

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hahaha this is why my voice notes are rarely less than 20 minutes

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“Things I know about healing: Speaking kindly to yourself helps a lot.”

— Rebecca Ray

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true. hard to do, but true.

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Sabar itu, ibarat sebuah payung. Dimana payung ngga bisa menghentikan hujan, tapi dengan payung Kamu bisa melewati hujan.

Begitupun dengan sabar ngga bisa menghentikan ujian, tapi dengan sabar kamu akan mampu melewati ujian.

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THIS. if you know some things can trigger your peace, avoid it as much as you could and prepare your self by making peace with it so if one day you have to face those situations again you'll face it with grace. if you still can't, that's okay. stepbacks are normal too in the process. the process is sometimes easy but most of the time it doesn't.

one thing to remember: always be kind to yourself.

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i think vanilla twilight is the healthiest way of longing.

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appreciation post for my psychiatrist (today is our last sesh because next month i have to go to another psychiatrist).

if you're wondering what does it feel like, seeing a shrink, and how is it different than talking to a trusted friend. i can tell you this much: me and my trusted friends learned psychology in college and they are the best support system i could ever ask for, but mental health professionals are better if your case is as tense as mine. the professionals are equipped with tools to make you feel and eventually be empowered all by yourself. and they always know the right thing to say. they know how to hit the spot and help you in things you ask their help for.

i'd like to think that my trusted people always have a good cup of coffee that can comfort me, but sometimes i need a good home i can build within myself to come back to an enjoy the coffee, and the professionals are like the architects. they help me build it.

bonus: this was from our last sesh today.

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dear my self in the uncomfortable days ahead,

sincerely,

yourself in the better days.

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i used to hate my birthday.

every year i had to remember my failures and prepare myself for another failure. i had to let go of good memories because wishing for another one felt too naive. life is hard. i had to be a tough one.

but today, the idea of a birthday excites me.

i even plan to give myself gifts for my birthday. i've come this far and i am so proud that i made it to this point of my life. i'm grateful for all that i am, the people i am with, the life that's given to me. it's not perfect and it mostly sucks but apparently there's nothing my self couldn't handle?? crazy how long i underestimated myself.

my life is pathetic but i am not going down with it anymore. i'll stand tall here. i'll fall again, sure, and i'll stand even higher.

i love myself and myself deserves this much love.

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YES. i learned the hard way that you're not responsible for anyone (unless you have children who aren't adults yet). adults are responsible for their own selves.

i am done sabotaging myself by trying to control people who doesn't want to do it in my way; the better way (or so i thought).

i let them be.

we're all responsible of our own self.

it's not selfish. it's realistic. i'll help if they ask but i'll never again stick my nose where it doesn't make any differences.

Tidak semua perlu kamu tahu, meski tentang keluarga sendiri.

Tidak semua perlu kamu beritahu, meski dengan keluarga sendiri.

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so true!

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((taking note))

alright i'll remember to call my children "nak" in the future🫶🏼

apa sih rasanya dipanggil "nak" sama org tua sendiri?🤔

would i feel like i am loved kalo dipanggil "nak"? it sounds kind of special and nurturing and i'm gonna cry in the corner bye

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one of my goals this year:

writing "i did something brave today" in my journal at least once a week

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as somebody who grew up with coklat Cho Cho and Cheweez, i looove chewy chocolate. i only love chewy chocolate. melting chocolate feels not as good. lidah kampung bgt maap wkwk