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maybetorbie · 1 month ago

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Pretty (wo)man

Chapter 13: I Will Always Love You

Tags and warnings for this chapter: Angst with happy ending. Tagged mature bc of the collage just in case XD

Author's notes: When I wrote the abrupt finish for this fic in 2023 I was suffering from severe writer's block. I love this fic so much and it broke my heart that I couldn't finish it the way I wanted. But here's the thing with things you love: you want to cherish them and treat them the way they deserve to be treated. And when you do that, they linger in the back of your mind if you haven’t done them justice. So, the ending I wanted to write for this fic always remained in the back of my mind, never letting go. I remembered the premise I had planned for it and also almost all the words I wanted to use all the way until this day, for more than a year.

Which is why, now that the words are flowing again, it felt the right time to do this. To finish it the way it was supposed to. I hope you enjoy it 💜

Moodboard by the lovely @a-redharlequin

Summary: Billy knew there was always someone who would recognize him, always willing to humiliate him—or worse: to humiliate Steve for having a hooker as a partner. He loved Steve—and he couldn't do that to Steve. The best he could do was to protect him from that.

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Or the ending to this fic I always wanted to write but couldn't. Until now.

Read this chapter on AO3 >> / Full fic on AO3 >>

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Billy was released from the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami two days later.

Steve tried to help Billy get up from the bed, but he pushed Steve away. “I'm just a little bruised,” he laughed. “It's not like I got stitches in nasty places this time. I'll live through these.”

“I'm just trying to help,” Steve said with a small smile as he looked at Billy, who started going through his clothes in the luggage Steve had brought with him. “I'm not sure you can wear the dress again, though,” he continued, his smile faltering. “It was pretty badly torn.”

Billy's smile faltered, and he stopped rummaging the suitcase, looking down at the whatever garment that was in his hands. “I never want to see that dress again,” he whispered.

Steve nodded, and a soft smile returned on his face. “We'll get you other dresses. New ones.”

Billy’s mind reeled. New dresses. More dresses. Manolo Blahniks, private airplanes, vacations on fully staffed yachts that cost half a million to rent for a week…

Steve's words were said in a soft tone, the same he'd murmured into Billy's ear after Billy had told Steve his name and they'd fucked on the deck. When everything had still felt right.

And Billy had let his guard down because of emotions. He'd allowed Steve's words to lure him into thinking that with him, things would be different. That somehow Billy’s reality from just last week would be taken away and never to appear again.

Then he'd been reminded in the cruelest possible way that it would always be there. That there was always someone who would recognize him, always willing to humiliate him—or worse: to humiliate Steve for having a hooker as a partner.

He loved Steve—and he couldn't do that to Steve. The best he could do was to protect him from that.

He tried to swallow the lump away that had suddenly appeared in his throat. Cassie had been right. He never shouldn't have fallen in love with a trick.

And now it was time to pay the price for that mistake.

Billy let out a small laugh and looked at Steve with sad eyes. “I can't do it. We're from different worlds. I wouldn't fit in yours, and you wouldn't want to get into mine.”

Steve smiled and reached out his hand to brush Billy's arm. “Can I be the judge of that?”

Despite Steve’s soft touch, Billy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steel himself to say the words he needed to say. “Steve,” he started and looked back at him. “I don't do relationships with clients. I've had two days to think about it and...” Pain was twisting his insides as he forced himself to say the words. “You're sweet and the week was amazing. But what happened…There will always be someone who knows who—what—I am. Always someone ready to remind me or point it out loud to you and mess up your life.”

Steve looked at Billy, concern etched on his face. “What are you talkin—” he started, but was interrupted.

“Listen to me.” Billy clenched his jaw. “Whatever the hospital bill is, take it from my pay. And then I'll be gone.”

Steve's stomach dropped, and he felt a painful squeeze in his chest. “But I thought we…I thought we had an understanding…” he pleaded, his eyes searching Billy's for the reason for this change of heart.

Billy wouldn't meet his eyes. “What you're paying me, it pays my debt and gets me away from the street,” he said quietly. “Isn't that what you wanted?”

Steve bit his lip, but it wouldn't stop wobbling. “I did. But I thought that we'd gotten past that. Moved to other things. Future things .”

Billy shook his head. “This is a future thing.”

“Billy, please. Don't do this.”

Billy bit his tongue so hard that he tasted blood. This was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

“I don't love you.” I do, I do, I do, God, how much I do .

“I'm a whore ,” he continued, spitting the word out. “I pretend for living. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be, as long as the price is right. You bought me for a week and it was lovely. But it's over now.”

There was a stunned silence in the room. Steve stared at Billy, expressionless, the tears falling on his cheeks as the only sign of his inner turmoil. After a moment he exhaled sharply and jerked into motion, walking to the sink by the door and took a tissue from the dispenser to wipe his face.

Staring at the crushed wet napkin in his hand, he took a few deep breaths, trying to make sense of Billy's words. Deep inside, he knew Billy was right. The deal had been that Billy would come with him for the week and that was it.

His mistake was that he'd let himself believe Billy's feelings were as deep as his.

He turned to look back at Billy. Even under the bleak white hospital lights, without the makeup and the skimpy outfits—just as himself—Billy was more gorgeous than the first time Steve had seen him leaning on the wall at the corner. Having the chance to get to know the real person behind the curtain was maybe as much as he'd ever should've hoped for from the start—and now that had to be enough.

Steve took his wallet out from the breast pocket of his jacket and dug a credit card from it, reaching it out to Billy. “It's prefilled, all 10k there as agreed.” He cleared his throat. “I'll take care of the medical bill. You owe me nothing.”

After Billy had taken the card, Steve reached his hand out for a shake. “It was nice to get to know you, Billy .”

The smile on Billy's face was small as he shook Steve's hand. “You too, Steve.”

As Steve turned around and walked out, Billy kept his eyes locked on the card in his hands. His freedom of the debts he'd been carrying with him for years, ones that seemed to pile on the more he tried to pay them, all in that small piece of plastic. He should've been overjoyed about it.

But all he could think about was Steve walking out the door, Billy’s heart in his hands.

+ + +

After getting back to Chicago and taking care of his debts, Billy went back home.

The small apartment greeted him with muffled voices from the neighbour's TV and a wailing siren of a firetruck or something from somewhere outside. It was just barely bigger than the suite on the yacht had been, and now, after all the luxury, it felt bland and pathetic.

Billy sat on his bed and looked around. The small kitchen in the nook behind a tiny bathroom, a few movie posters pinned on the wall. A clothes rack full of raunchy outfits ready to go and a shelf full of high heels of all kinds, each pair with longer spikes than the previous one. A makeup table full of everything one would need to put on a full variety show.

Just a few pairs of normal jeans, a leather jacket, and a pair of biker boots in the corner.

His life had been so concentrated on putting up a show for others, for money—for selling himself for the night—that his own self was left just at that bare minimum. It was all he'd had to afford to give himself.

All this had been his daily life just a few weeks ago. All he'd thought he'd ever be any good for.

And then, Steve—his knight in shining armor—had entered his life, swooped him into his arms and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

Because that's what Billy had to tell himself Steve's words were. Lies that wouldn't hold the light of day whispered in the dark, far away from home, from real life. Because looking around him, all Billy could see was someone who couldn't be with someone like Steve. Wouldn’t fit with him.

No way could Steve really love him, really want to build something real with him.

Especially a future.

No. It was all make believe. Steve would've realized after a few months tops Billy wasn't right for him and discarded him, just like the rest of his boyfriends had done.

It was better this way.

Even though Steve had been the only one who'd ever looked at him with such admiration, like he was Steve's entire world. Held him gently but surely and treated him like he was something precious, like he deserved it.

Treacherous tears were pouring on Billy's cheeks and he wiped them angrily away. He reminded himself that Steve was a dreamboat: one who someone like Billy could only have for one week, and even that was more than he ever deserved.

He had to get away. If he stayed here, it would be just a matter of time when he'd break his streak, get some blow and be back in the street corner, trying to pay off yet another debt. And then he'd blown the chance to get away from all that Steve had generously provided him.

His sweet sweet Steve. The one who persistently stuck in Billy's thoughts, never relenting.

The whole 30 hours on the bus, his thoughts had always ended up circling back to Steve, back to what had been, to what could've been.

As much as Billy needed to get away from these remnants of his past life, he also needed to get away from Steve, to make sure he never saw him again. To make sure he never saw him with someone else. Never saw him happy with anyone else.

So, he grabbed his phone and dialed the number he'd hoped to be able to call for a long time. One he'd promised to call when he was out of debt and out from the street.

After a few rings, Max, his sister, picked up.

+ + +

It was drizzling when Billy, a few days later, stepped out of the taxi and walked to the corner with his bag. He wanted to see Cassie one more time, to thank her for everything she'd ever done, and he'd figured it was best to do it quickly, between her tricks.

As he'd expected, Cassie was working, so in the meantime, he greeted the other girls and exchanged a few words with each one. Said goodbyes, agreeing with everyone to keep in touch—even though they all knew it would never happen.

Billy had already thrown away his burner phone and would never get a new one. No one would reach him, but he'd give his real phone number to Cas—because she was a friend. Someone who'd had his back when he needed it most.

When Cassie finally walked back from under the highway ramp where she'd handled a john, Billy broke into tears.

She typed something on her phone as she walked and put it away as Billy spread his arms for a hug. She hugged him viciously tight. “You're leaving?” she asked hoarsely.

“Uh huh,” Billy sniffled.

“I'm glad you came.”

After a long while just soaking in the closeness of his probably best friend he’d ever had, Billy let go and wiped his face to his sleeve. “Needed to.”

Cassie pulled out a tissue from her purse and dabbed her eyes. When she looked back at Billy, she smiled. “So, where are you heading to?”

“Thought I'll check out San Francisco. Figure out what I want to be when I grow up.”

She smiled. “I hope you do.”

Billy nodded. “Listen, I'm…” He cleared his throat and dug his bag, pulling out a folded stack of money, and held it out to her. “You've always been good to me. And you helped with the dress.”

Cassie stared at the offering for a while, then took it. “The dress did what it was supposed to?”

“Well, actually,” Billy said quietly. “Remember when I was raped? The guy who did it, he,uh…he was there and…”

Cassie's eyes widened in horror. “What?! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” Billy said, letting out a small laugh. “It's a long story, but turns out I wasn't the only one he raped. He's going to jail.”

“That's good,” Cassie said and took Billy's hand in hers. “It wasn't Steve, was it?”

“No, no, of course not. Steve could never do anything like that. But, uh…Steve had contacts, and he found out it was him and…” Billy replied, tears pooling in his eyes. “He saved me from that piece of shit raping me again.”

Cassie reached out for another hug. “Oh, sweetie,” she said, sighing, and held Billy tight.

Billy tried to hold back the tears that seemed to totally disobey him tonight. But they stubbornly dwelled in his eyes.

“Was he worth it?” Cassie asked softly. “Falling in love with, I mean.”

Billy let out a deep sigh. “More than,” he whispered.

Cassie let go of Billy and looked at him as she smiled a mysterious smile, then looking past Billy. “Then I think that big Audi is there for you.”

Billy stiffened, and his insides twisted in knots. “You didn't…”

But Cassie just smiled. “You're one of the good ones. And so is he. You deserve to be happy.”

“But…how did you…?”

“Turned out we had shared acquaintances.” Cassie shook her head. “What he did…He loves you too. Don't let happiness pass you by, Sweetie.”

Billy's eyes were dwelling again. “It's not Sweetie anymore. It's Billy.”

Cassie’s smile widened, and she hugged Billy again. “I like the sound of that. Suits you.” She let go and patted Billy's chest. “Now, go .”

The moment Cassie had sent him the message of Billy being at the corner, Steve had dropped everything and rushed through the city like a bat out of hell, hoping he wouldn’t be late.

The number Billy had given him had no longer worked, and Steve hadn't known what to do. He'd only known that he couldn't live without Billy.

So, he'd called Hagan, asked him to ask around, but lo-and-behold, the man had straight away known someone who knew Billy by his street name. Thanks to asking around for others who'd been raped viciously, the woman had asked Hagan to get her into contact with whoever got the rapist in jail, so she could thank him. And so Steve had called her. Cassie.

He'd pulled the car over to the same place where he'd waited for Billy the first night they'd met. The drizzle that had been falling all day had just turned into rain, but for once Steve didn't care if he got wet.

Because Billy was there, right in front of him, talking with a small woman Steve thought had to be Cassie.

Billy.

No longer Sweetie. No longer a hooker, but a man who had the world ahead of him. And Steve hoped Billy would give him a chance.

Finally, Billy turned around and looked in Steve's direction.

Steve made a small waving motion with his hand and smiled tentatively. His heart was clawing its way through his chest as he saw Billy hesitating. He wanted to run to him, to assure him he wanted no one else but him, ever, until the end of time.

But he knew Billy had to make that decision this time. He wanted Billy to choose by himself.

He saw Billy handing the woman a note, maybe a phone number, and then hugging her tightly.

And when he let go, he looked back at Steve—and in the wide smile on his face Steve saw the sun shine through the rain.

His heart was bursting through his chest as he rushed to meet Billy halfway over the street.

Billy's bag fell to the ground from his shoulder from the sheer force Steve slammed into him to kiss him. Billy melted the moment their lips touched, and there, enveloped in Steve's sweet embrace, their lips locked into each other, he knew he'd never let go.

When they broke the kiss, Steve leaned his forehead on Billy’s, his hands holding Billy’s cheeks so so gently. “I missed you so much,” Steve murmured. “I just had to...”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Billy replied, not caring if the tears were again falling on his cheeks. “Me too.”

Steve was crying now, too. “Never go away again,” he whispered hoarsely.

Billy placed his hands over Steve’s. “I won't. I promise.”

When Steve finally let go, Billy picked up his bag from the ground to find out it was soaking wet. He cursed.

“Sorry about that,” Steve said sheepishly. He rushed to open the passenger side door. “Come, let's get you away from the rain.”

When they were sitting in the car, the heater turned on full to warm them up, Steve glanced at Billy's bag. “Where were you off to?”

“San Francisco,” Billy replied quietly. He looked back at Steve and felt a knot forming in his stomach again. “My sister lives there, and I promised I'd...”

Steve smiled softly and took Billy's hand, intertwining their fingers. “Sister, huh?”

Billy smiled, chuckling as he realized what he’d done. And it’d slipped out so easily. Because this was Steve. He was safe—as himself. “Yeah. A sister.”

Steve pulled Billy's hand to his lips and placed a kiss on his knuckles. “Well, as it happens, I have a loft there. We could go and check it out.”

Billy frowned. “You'd drive me all the way there? Just like that?”

“Of course. And, you know…maybe, uh, maybe give you a key. If you want. I mean, uh, I—I’d need, eh…” Steve stammered, and a blush crept on his face.

Billy thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Uh, I’d need someone to look out for the place,” Steve continued. “Until I can finish things here and move there.”

A smile wide enough for it to hurt Billy's cheeks spread across his face, his heart fuller than it’d ever been. “You're really serious about this?”

Steve kissed Billy's fingers again, nodding. “Never been this much about anything else before.”

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