mapledaemonism

[mapledaemonism]

[mapledaemonism]

(by jessica.hogervorst)

[mapledaemonism]

You Could Be Median!

We've seen some posts lately where people are saying they feel too plural to be a singlet and too singlet to be plural, or that they feel certain plural-ish ways about their kintypes... And, well, we have news for you--there's (possibly) a word for that!

See, while a lot of people see "multiple system" and "plural system" as interchangable, they actually have nuance to their meanings. And there's a third term, "median system", that might actually apply to you!

Some descriptions of the terms, for reference!

This won't be the only term list in this post, but to avoid dumping a ton of terms at the start without context, they'll show up where relevant. For now, though, here's a few.

Singlet:

The state of being one singular person/identity in one body. Synonym for non-plural.

Plural:

More than one entity, self, identity or consciousness in a single body. Simply, being more-than-one in some way. This is more of an umbrella term for multiple and median.

Multiple:

Having more than one distinct identities or people within a body.

Median:

The state of being somewhere between "singlet" and "multiple" on the plural spectrum.

Now, that's pretty vague, especially if this is a new concept to you! What does "inbetween" of multiple and singlet even really look like? The answer is, well... Anything, almost! But that's also vague and unhelpful. So...

Some examples of what being a median system could feel like...

You're like a metaphorical hydra--all part of one dragon, but there's different heads. You might feel parts of yourself arguing or thinking different thoughts, and some might be more in charge at times than others, but in the end, you're all a part of one unit anyway.

You're like a metaphorical coin--you're all one single thing, but there's different faces. Depending on what angle someone looks at you from, they could see something completely different.

You're like a gemstone cut for a ring--all one stone, but there's facets of you that reflect light just a little differently.

You speak to your subconscious, but because that subconscious is you, you feel like you're an inbetween of being just one person and two people. (This can also include things like daemonism!)

You feel like your identity itself is a shapeshifter (not in a kintype way--your identity as a whole).

You're otherkin/fictionkin/etc, and your kintypes have juuuust a little too much separation from you to feel like they're still you, but they're you enough that they're not separate people. They're not entirely distinct from you, but they're also not entirely wholly you, either. (More on this one later!)

You feel too much like a singlet to be plural, but too much like a system to be a singlet.

You age or pet regress, and feel like your regressed self is a different version of you. Sure, they're still you! But they're just different enough that they fall in a grey area of being "you" vs "not you".

You feel like "you" are, in whole, a person wearing a lot of different masks. The masks might make you act a little different, or look a little to-the-left of your normal appearance. All the masks are a part of you, as much as you're a part of them.

You feel like you sometimes have a different "filter" put over you, like a photo being digitally edited. You're still the same base thing, but sometimes there's an extra layer on top that makes you a little different.

You don't feel singlet or multiple, but feel like a secret third thing that's in any way inbetween.

You feel like you're almost a system.

Now, that's nowhere near an exhaustive list, but it's a bunch of stuff we've experienced and/or heard from others in the community. That gemstone comparison is actually common enough for the median version of the term "headmate" to be a sort of reference to how it feels!

Headmate (also alter, system member):

An entity/person that is a part of a system.

Facet:

A type of headmate that is a part of a median system.

There's also a term for identities that blur the line between "fictive" and "fictionkin", because the experience of being median while having identities that feel like fictives and fictotypes simultaneously is so common! (There's now a factbased identity term for the experience too!)

Fableing:

A type of facet in a median system that shares experiences of both fictionkin and fictives, making them an inbetween, adjacent to both experiences, or both at the same time.

Factling:

A type of facet in a median system that shares experiences of both factkin and factives, making them an inbetween, adjacent to both experiences, or both at the same time.

Otherkinity and Median Systems

In particular though, we see a lot of otherkin who say a lot of very plural-y things about their kintypes. While not everyone who says these things is 100% plural and maybe just one or two of these points to nothing plurality related at all... These are things we think are pretty good indicators you should at least consider looking into median systems, even if you've looked into being multiple before.

Your kintypes can speak or communicate to you, disagree with you or each other, or interact with things separate from you. This doesn't need to include written or spoken language, either! Sometimes internal instincts clashing can feel a lot like median facets disagreeing.

Shifting causes you to experience memory loss, amnesia, or anything similar.

Shifting causes a complete gender change, even if previously and after the shift you disagree.

Shifting causes you to act "out of character" compared to your usual self.

Shifting causes a complete sexuality change, even if previously and after the shift you disagree.

Shifting causes you to want to change your name, even if previously and after the shift you disagree.

You don't feel like you're yourself while shifted.

You get thoughts that you don't feel belong to you, and feel like they belong more to your kintype.

You don't feel too much like you are your kintype, unless you're in a shift. (Also check out fictionflickering/otherflickering!)

Your kintypes do things that you're unaware of while you're shifted.

You commonly dissociate during or before shifting.

Your kintypes change your likes and dislikes (for example, while shifted you might hate apples while when not in a shift you love them).

You'd call your kintypes headmates or you feel like they'd be classified as headmates if you had DID/OSDD (spoiler alert, you don't need those to be a system!)

Your shifts cause a full or very strong personality change--especially if other people notice.

You feel disconnected from your body or lose control of your body while shifting.

You come out of a shift and are confused, distressed, or surprised at how you acted during it.

Like I said, not all of these point toward being median if there's just one or two--but, if you have the time to look into it, I'd recommend giving it some thought!

Misc FAQs

Do I have to call myself a median system if I fit a lot of/all of this?

Nope! Your identity is yours to label, and this post isn't meant to shove people into boxes. This is simply meant to inform people of what a median system is, and let people come to informed decisions themselves.

Can you be both multiple and median?

Absolutely! There's plenty of ways this can be a thing, too. Some examples:

Multiple system with median subsystems.

Median system with multiple subsystems.

A system that fluctuates between median and multiple.

A system with a bunch of headmates who are median or multiple (regardless of subsystems).

You could be both at once, which we've seen called "mediple"!

Can you have a CDD (like DID and OSDD) and be median?

Yep! It's commonly believed that most (not all!) OSDD systems often fall under the median umbrella, even! A system of any structure or origin can also have median members within it, regardless of other parts of how it functions.

Can you choose to be median?

As with plurality in general--yes, probably! We haven't seen any guides to specifically form a median system, but we're sure it's possible. Daemonism, for example, is usually counted as a nonplural experience by their community, as daemons are "you" in another font--for lack of better phrasing. But a lot of people do consider this to be a type of median plurality in their own experiences!

Is this an endo system thing?

No. Endogenic and traumagenic systems alike can both experience median plurality, and can also be disordered or nondisordered. The term didn't even originate in endogenic-specific spaces, nor did it originate recently either. "Midcontinuum" was presented as a term in around 1996-1997, and "median" was created in 2002. Some early plural communtiy mentions of the terms:

Us and Being Median:

This was co-written by a median subsystem (Dagger of Decay) and one of said subsystem’s QPPs in-system (Shrapnel). While we don’t reflect the entirety of our experience of having median plurality within our system, we can share what we personally know of our own life in the hopes that it resonates with others in a helpful way.

Being a median subsystem to me (Dagger of Decay), feels like I’m separate sides of the same metaphorical coin. (At least, that was an accurate descriptor until I discovered more facets than just the two.) You look at this coin, and one side might have a picture of one thing on it, while the other has something completely different–but you’d be wrong if you said that this was two separate coins just because it’s different depending on how you see it or how you hold it. You’d also be wrong in saying that the coin only had one uniform side–I mean, it clearly has different pictures on each side, they’re clearly different!

The faces of the coin are the fableings that make up me as a person. If I really wanted to, I could probably label myself as one person with very strong kintype shifts, but that doesn’t feel like it covers the full scope of my identity. I can’t talk to my facets, I also can hardly ever disagree with them because we’re so close to the singlet end of the spectrum. But even still, when I’m Tomura Shigaraki, I’m not really the other facets of myself anymore–it’s like you’ve spun that coin around and they’re the ones who are face down, hidden from sight for that moment. The same is true for when any other one is in control. The coin just sort of flips itself occasionally and oops! I’m the same base guy, but in a different font. A little bit to the left maybe.

The amount of separatedness between us fluctuates–sometimes I say “I” to refer to all of me, other times we say “we”. That’s one of the more noticeable fluctuations between my facets, but there’s plenty of other things that shift and change too–how distinct we feel, how much we can disagree with each other, how much we feel connected to other identities we hold… But in the end, we’re solidly sat in the grey area between “one singular guy with no extras” and “multiple guys in one head”--and it took our system a while to get a hold of what that can mean and feel like, so I hope some people who are questioning or struggling with their identity can get a little bit of something out of this post.

For further reading:

The Dragonheart Collective's "Am I plural" guide.

Allium House's "what is the self?" essay.

Endogenic Hub's "Medians" page.

Otherkin Wiki's Plurality page (section on median plurality included).

Beepbird's "Median is More than People With Parts".

Beepbird's "For Medians: Fronting and Switching Control".

Beepbird's entire median plurality links section, honestly.

[mapledaemonism]

vaguely related to daemonism, so im putting it here

in the vein of thoughtforms/“tulpas” (is that particular word still considered problematic? It goes through waves of acceptable use, i swear) nonsensical rambling under cut

Anyway it’s fascinating how once they’re established, they really don’t go away. Not really. They may go dormant, but they don’t leave, and I appreciate that.

Back when I was in my early 20s, I stumbled upon the old tulpa subreddit. Idk if it’s still active, I don’t use Reddit anymore and haven’t for a long time. But I liked the idea of a tulpa. Of course I was also influenced by the more creepy side from that one tulpa creepypasta.

But the point is, I DID make a tulpa, and over a decade later, he’s still around. He’s changed a little of course; he’s settled in more, become more his own person and formed his own opinions and preferences. It takes less focus to “see” him and talk to him now, as opposed to when we first started and it took real focus for that stuff. He isn’t as “static” as when we started, not bound to the exact same outfit as what he started in.

The subreddit was fuckin’ wild as folks tulpas deteriorated horrifically - specifically the MLP ones?? That was a wild ride, watching folks go on about how “Luna wants to kill herself help!!” Because I feel like that was reflective more of that individual’s state of mind. I hope those folks got help and didn’t end up harming themselves. That’s not what thoughtforms are for, at least in my opinion.

Maybe I just got lucky that mine was never like that? He isn’t always talkative, but he’s comforting, even if he doesn’t always know what to say. He’s helped me through dark times repeatedly in my life since we began.

ALL of this rambling was spurred on because someone mentioned tulpas in a video im currently watching lol

Anyway I love my tulpa, and I’m glad he’s still around after all these years 💜

[mapledaemonism]

Bornean clouded leopard (Neofelis diardi borneensis) Deramakot Forest Reserve, Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia

Photo by Evgeny Shcherbakov

[mapledaemonism]

Bornean Clouded Leopard (Neofelis diardi borneensis), family Felidae, Sabah, Borneo

Vulnerable.

photograph via: Sabah Forestry Department

[mapledaemonism]

little vent, sorry we don’t post much and this is what we come back with but it’s bothering us lately

it’s a bit frustrating actually that so many plural spaces are hostile towards folks who aren’t Officially Diagnosed. and I don’t JUST mean in regards to daemonism, though that is part of it.

but more than just Ace and myself (the body owner), i KNOW there’s more of us in here. we as a collective have had moments that are blatantly a switch of fronting; moments where we’re talking to the body’s mother and suddenly have no clue who she is for a moment, until someone pipes up “that’s our mother, just keep talking”. and the voice saying that isn’t necessary an auditory hallucination, but more a feeling-thought, something not of words but not just of pure knowing either. the concept of “just keep playing along, she doesn’t know you’re not her kid anymore”. moments where all is fine and suddenly we’re dizzy and don’t know where we are or how we got here. the confusion only lasts a few moments - we’re quite good at context clues and sharing info between us, or perhaps sharing memories - but it’s still jarring when it happens.

we have triggers that aren’t always present for everyone - where it bothers one of us on a visceral level but not the others. (we can’t watch certain media because it’s triggering, but only to one of us). we have strong preferences in foods and music (f’ex, one of us hates peanut butter but someone else loves it. one of us hates pickles and someone else loves them. some of us enjoy metal but others prefer country.)

and the thing is, we probably won’t EVER get an official diagnosis, because us switching out or having our little isms isn’t detrimental to functioning in society. we’ve dealt with it for so long it’s second nature to us, and a professional wouldn’t be able to offer us anything new. we can’t even get it classed as a disorder because it doesn’t cause any real hangups or harm in our lives, and thus isn’t considered a disorder. after all, a disorder only is because it causes problems, yknow? so there’s no way to know if it’s trauma based or endo or WHAT caused it or WHY we’re here like this with the exception of Ace and one other (a tulpa/thoughtform). but that’s only two out of at least five, maybe more. we’re not sure the number, but we’ve found at least five distinctive personalities.

it COULD be trauma based, we HAVE trauma… technically. i say “technically” because no, it’s not like we remember being raped or beaten (though there’s some evidence we may have been touched, but no solid memories). we DO know we were severely neglected and emotionally abused. but again, it’s an instance of the fact that we’ve dealt with shit for so long that it no longer is disordered, because we’ve learned how to work around the disorder. we know how to be functional despite our issues. we don’t have the luxury of being able to tend to our exhaustion or to let our problems run our life, we have shit to do and expectations to live up to and deadlines to meet because we are functional-enough to pass for a normal adult in front of others.

but so many spaces aren’t friendly to us because we don’t know where some of us came from, and because others of us are here intentionally. it’s just… frustrating.

[mapledaemonism]

Live theater in the His Dark Materials universe must be wild. Surely an actor's daemon also has lines to recite, so their daemon's form probably also factors into casting decisions. Maybe some plays have vague character descriptions for daemons, but I bet other plays have really specific or central daemon characters. And sure, big-budget theaters can afford to hire a separate actor with a particular daemon to stand backstage while their daemon plays its part onstage, but community theaters don't have those kinds of resources.

Like if you're casting for Julius Caesar, surely the real historical Caesar had a pretty iconic daemon, right? Are you going to cast an actor with a pigeon daemon as Caesar and just have everyone suspend their disbelief that it's Caesar's lioness, ἁμαρτία?

[mapledaemonism]

sometimes I see ppl discoursing over like, the Right Way to do daemonism and I’m like, actually, being a daemian is about holding doors open slightly longer than necessary so your invisible animal friend can get through. that’s all it is.

[mapledaemonism]

childhood daemon headcanons

children asking their daemons to become very small, hiding them in their pockets, and trying to scare the other children by pretending they don’t have daemons at all

children and their daemons staying up reading far after their parents have put them to bed, their daemons becoming fireflies to light up the pages of their books

daemons playing “guess which animal I am,” asking their human to shut their eyes, turning into different animals, and having their human touch them and try to guess what animal they’ve become

nerdy children reading about an exotic animal and school, and asking their daemon to become that animal so they can study it better

kids and their daemons trying to scare each other, kids making crazy faces while their daemons transform into tarantulas and bats

children trick-or-treating with their daemons, making sure that the daemons form matches their costume perfectly

daemons turning in to fishes when their human counterparts don’t want to take a bath, trying to coax their humans into the water and show them that it isn’t scary

the daemons of children who don’t have coats and blankets turning into big bears to keep them warm in the winter

children taking care of their daemons. daemons taking care of their children.

[mapledaemonism]

if my dæmon was corporeal my mental health would improve by 95%

[mapledaemonism]

Dæmonism is

Embracing a part of yourself you have neglected in the past.

Finally understanding what it means to 'love yourself' through loving this aspect of your soul.

Never having to feel alone again.

Your heart separate to you.

Making constant efforts to connect with this new aspect of yourself.

A friend to walk by your side.

Comfort in the darkest of times.

Something beautiful.

[mapledaemonism]

30 Days of Daemonism - REVISED

1) Your daemon's name and meaning/origin?

2) Do you have more than one dae, and what do you think of having more than one?

3) Your daemon's favorite/personal/comfort form(s), and yours? Are they the same or not?

4) What is your symbolic/Pullman form? If you don't follow the TDF systems, make something like art, writing, or a moodboard instead!

5) What is your analytical form? If you don't follow the TDF systems, make something like art, writing, or a moodboard instead!

6) How does having a dae help you, and do you do anything beneficial for your dae?

7) What are your dae's favorite aesthetics, and how do they compare to yours?

8) What is your relationship with your dae? Do you get along, do you fight sometimes?

9) How often and how clearly do you project them onto the physical world around you?

10) What is your dae's voice like?

11) Describe your friends who are also daemians (a person who has a daemon)! Or, if you have none: what do you and your dae like to do together, and what do you both hate?

12) If you're alterhuman, how does being a daemian interact with your kintype identities? Or, if you're not alterhuman: do you see your dae in your dreams/nightmares?

13) Do you own any items that remind you of or directly represent your dae?

14) What is your best memory involving your dae?

15) Does anyone IRL know about your dae or daemonism? What do they think about it?

16) If you've read the HDM books, who's your favorite character and why? If you have not, do you ever plan on reading them, and if not then why?

17) Are your personal rules/headcanons for how daemons work different than canon HDM? If you haven't enough knowledge of HDM to know, then make art, writing, or a moodboard instead!

18) Would you live in a world where everyone's daemon was corporeal, including yours?

19) If you are religious or spiritual, does your dae come into that? Or, if you aren't: do you see your dae as essentially a more "solid" imaginary friend?

20) A question for your dae: what do you think of your other half?

21) How are you different from your dae in personality?

22) How long has your dae been in your life? For years, or less than that?

23) If you are plural, how does your dae interact with your headmates? Do you consider them another headmate or as a part of yourself, making one individual together? Or, if you aren't plural: has your dae ever disappeared from your mindspace for a long time, and if so, why? I know some daemians who've lost their dae for whatever reason and had to replace them with a new one.

24) Question for your dae: how do you interact with the world, with or without being actively projected by your other half?

25) How did you discover daemonism? The HDM books, the online communities, the Golden Compass film, or the BBC show?

26) An extension of the previous question: was it challenging to begin communicating with your dae, and is it easier now?

27) Are there any forms you and-or your dae absolutely loathe?

28) Does your dae(s) have a human or humanoid form? A form that's an extinct animal or mythical/fictional?

29) A question for your dae: what is your favorite place in the mindspace or the physical world?

30) Free day! Have fun, whatever you choose to do!

[mapledaemonism]

Try daemonism before tulpamancy

*pats the seat next to me* Come here and take a listen real quick.

If you are considering creating a headmate to help with

Loneliness

Depression

Stress

Life issues

Anything else related to support...

You'd be better off finding your daemon. Why? Because daemons are typically built for this; this is their specialty. They exist already as a part of you! They've lived your life, seen your struggles, and understand who you are and where you are coming from. They feel everything you feel, see everything you do, and know everything about you. They know what you need.

Another benefit? They can be their own unique individual while still remaining intrinsically tied to you, your life, and your well-being without the risk of being incompatible or your self-interest not aligning. Daemons are a part of you, so they go with the flow of our life without wanting major control or influence. Two sides to the same coin. A feather attached to the wing...

Another nice thing about daemons is when you aren't interacting they merge right back into you. They continue to exist just as they did prior to separation and will continue to be there until you call again. The less you interact the rustier the connection becomes, but you don't risk losing them. They may come back with new personalities or names if a long enough time has passed (because *everyone* changes with time, daemons are no exception) but they are still your daemon.

They still are there wanting the best for you. Wanting you to succeed, to thrive, to survive. They are our built-in support systems. Before creating and hoping to influence a headmate to be the answer, look into meeting your daemon first. See if they can provide what you need. Besides, it's often a far easier process than creating a fully separate headmate from scratch (in my opinion, at least).

Never heard of daemons? Check out Daemonism 101

[mapledaemonism]

(by jessica.hogervorst)

[mapledaemonism]

source

[mapledaemonism]

(by Martin Partridge)