mallorybelkin-blog

[mallorybelkin-blog]

texts. mallory💨

jace: hahahhaa. ok so do you want a job or?

jace: :lllllll that wasn't funny.

jace: it's okay! at least i know i'll have one supporter if i do get it done.

jace: i mean i already have 2 piercings. do you think i'm hardcore now? and yeee i'll do that. ill post it on mystery inc's twitter. then they'll really have a fanbase.

jace: don't disrespect gene. WILLY WONKA IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE ARE YOU SERIOUS? this is why im asking you.

jace: i got in a legitimate argument with this person about it.

mallory: yes obviously i ... love to ... work

mallory: i am hilarious and amazing don't say otherwise

mallory: yeah i got u! i'll even hold ur hand while u get it done

mallory: just bc i kno you'll be happy if i say u r hardcore, ur hardcore & that's a GREAT way to attract ppl to our company. love it

mallory: ummmmmmm ok but u cant lie its scary

mallory: but i do relate to all the grandparents being in bed for like a million years bc same

mallory: well did you win the argument.

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texts. mallory💨

jace: sure. go for it.

jace: ????? i've only been working with them for 2 weeks and i have a schedule?

jace: tbh you can't just skate past that subject. also are you serious?? i would never do that to my dick. I mean would you be into it?? do girls think prince alberts are hot?

jace: dumb question. nvm. boat scene? in charlie or the og?

mallory: hahahaha

mallory: i'm fuckin w u, i have a schedule. i just don't know how to read it u know

mallory: well i can stand on a skateboard for about 10 seconds before falling off, so yea i just skated right by it

mallory: yeah i'm serious, sorry for supporting u and ur dreams of a dick piercing

mallory: tbh yea i'd be like o shit! that's hardcore! props to u and ur dick! but other girls?? idk why don't you take a public poll

mallory: no it's a great thought provoking question ... i can't believe willy wonka straight up murdered some kids & charlie was like haha cool whats next on the tour like ??????????????????????????????? hello ur clearly next charles use ur brain

mallory: IN THE OG HOW COULD U FORGET IT WAS TERRIFYING

mallory: i'm so scared i just turned on the lights wtf i hate u

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texts. mallory💨

Jace: okay are you fucking with me now??

Jace: how is this my fault?! listen you little stony bologna.. i come to work smacked every day.. but i come to work. do you need to write your schedule on your hand or

Jace: So wait.. you were okay with the idea of me getting a prince albert?

Jace: i was watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory with someone .. and they said charlie and the chocolate factory was better. thoughts?

mallory: no, would you like me to fuck w u

mallory: since when did we have schedules

mallory: tbh i just ignored u and hoped u wouldn't bring the topic back up but now u have so now i have to comment: might as well, why not, yolo, whats holdin u back

mallory: well they are wrong.

mallory: well maybe they're not. i just remembered the boat scene so maybe they have a valid point

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texts. mallory💨

jace: i'm preeetttyy sure they need 2 assistants on site every day :l

jace: so guess who was by their self :ll

jace: ah.. a prince albert it is .

jace: i'm just fucking with you. im not doing anything i just need an opinion.

mallory: am i... supposed to be there like... every day? like all of the days?

mallory: i'm sorry u should have texted me and reminded me to come to work so this is technically ur fault /:

mallory: ok i'll give you my unbiased onion

mallory: *onion

mallory: **onion

mallory: ***opinion

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texts. mallory💨

jace: hi :-)

jace: i didn't see you at work today so i'm checking in.

jace: also i need your opinion.

mallory: was i supposed to come in today

mallory: whatever ur thinking about doing, my answer is yes

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texts. mallory💨

jace: mallloryyy

jace: mALLORY

jace: MAL

mallory: that's me

mallory: that's me

mallory: that's me

mallory: hello

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nightmarenthusiast :

the series of expressions that flashed by forrest caulfields face was, in order: boredom ( they hated sports, in all fairness ), confusion, further bewilderment, and lastly skepticism. he looked at her with his mouth struck open, his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. “mal… why are you an assistant??” he quirked a brow at her, leaning onto the marble counter top in the coffee room at mystery inc. and tucking one foot out in front of the other. ��you should try for web developer or something technologically inclined given your ideals on apps… which would be similar to app stuff, i’d imagine. though i don’t much about technology, truthfully.” 

popping a piece of gum in her mouth, mallory locked eyes with forrest while she chewed thoughtfully. arching a single brow in question, she blew a bubble only for it to burst with a loud pop. “assistant?” she echoed, brows furrowing together in confusion. a few quiet moments passed before she snapped her fingers together, her hands motioning to their surroundings. “oh, you mean, an assistant here. yeah, got it. cool cool cool cool. got it.” in reality, mallory very rarely ‘got’ things. she was blessed (or maybe cursed) with subpar book smarts and common sense. she liked to joke that it was a two for one deal. most didn’t laugh, but it didn’t matter, because she did. and she was the funniest person she knew. “see, being a web developer sounds nice in theory, but the last time i looked at code i had to take a three hour nap to recuperate. it was like reading a book, but a bad book with no plot, no characters, and no pictures. fuckin’ terrible, right? i think i’ll stick to forgetting that i’m an assistant. i’m pretty good at it. wait, fuck, no i’m not. i didn’t even ask, i’m such an asshole. do you need any assisting? from me? i’m an assistant, you know.”

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yagirljennx :

“Meanwhile, I got a bunch of Superbowl ads despite never showing an interest in football. I’m starting to think these agents are just incompetent.”

“they work for the government--of course they’re incompetent. down with the man! or at least down with the men who think a football game is the most interesting thing to watch on television. like, have you seen the abyss that is netflix? yet, people still choose to watch men throw a ball around. i’d much rather watch chopped just so i can yell at how blatantly stupid they are for deciding to make a glaze with only thirty seconds left on the clock. much more of an adrenaline rush than watching any sports, if i do say so myself.”

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localnewsie :

“But the commercials are so good?  How do you not want to watch it?  Besides, any chance to look at Tom Brady is a good one.” poppy responded from her position without looking up from her phone.  “I mean, have you gone on any related sites?  That’s how that shit works, anyway. I, for one, don’t really need targeted ads, it’s been on my radar since the beginning of football season.”

“if you’re suggesting that my attention span is only long enough to watch and process a ten-second commercial then... you are absolutely right. you know me so well, poppy.” mallory chirped, giving the girl a soft nudge. shrugging in initial response to her question, mallory racked her brain for any explanation. “no clue, honestly. i couldn’t tell you what i ate for breakfast, let alone what i’ve googled. i think it was fruity pebbles? maybe? could also have been any other breakfast food, but it’s all good. wait--did i even eat breakfast this morning?”

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“i had no fucking clue it was superbowl sunday. i didn’t get one single targeted ad about it on social media. let me tell you what, the algorithm is spot on. but, i do keep getting ads on bath and body works. have they advanced so much that they can smell us through our phones now? fuck, my assigned fbi agent thinks i smell bad, don’t they?”

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MADISON BEER + CISFEMALE + SHE/HER — JINKIES ! IS THAT MALLORY BELKIN? THE TWENTY YEAR OLD IS KNOWN AROUND COOLSVILLE AS THE POTHEAD CAUSE THEY ARE UPBEAT + EASYGOING, AS WELL AS DULL-WITTED + IMPRESSIONABLE. THEY CURRENTLY WORK AT MYSTERY INC AS AN ASSISTANT AND EVERYONE THERE KNOWS THAT THEY LOVE TIE-DYE TAPESTRIES, WORN OUT CONVERSE HIGH-TOPS, & EATING ICE CREAM STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON.《 KAYLEE. 22. SHE/HER. EST.

hello this is my idiot child and welcome to her bad life choices!!

as the lil blurb above says, she is a ~pothead~ which sounds like a label a middle aged woman would give to today’s youth so basically her mom speaking abt her

she is high almost 24/7 so she’s v happy go lucky and always talking about some dumb shit

she is the friend that will encourage bad decisions just bc she wants to see what will happen

toes the line of death ... a lot

she will get caught up in video games or drawing and easily forget to do her assistant job . someone yell at her please

she’s not self centered she’s just very unaware of her decisions truly having consequences or the ability to affect others so she just ... kind of does what she wants

v flaky. needs someone to remind her to show up to her job bc she will not

she’s openminded but it’s too the point where people can walk all over her bc she won’t speak up for herself and she also tries to see the best in others so she won’t realize people are taking advantage of her

you can convince her on nearly anything, you can say the sky is purple but if you’re convincing enough she will eventually believe you

.... she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but it’s okay bc she will go to dollar taco night w you w no questions

loves everyone so she’s v bisexual

loves to dress up bc she’s so high to the point where she feels like she’s on americas next top model and it’s all good

her parents think she’s trash and she acts like she doesn’t care but spoiler alert she does

um thats all i have rly rn i’m sure i’ll come up w more but basically she’s my dummy

she’s lived here all her life so there’s that!!

as for connections!!:

friends ofc!! 

a ride or die who will always participate her in her shenanigans 

exes hehe we can think of why they broke up. tbh it was probably mallory’s fault lbr

enemies or ppl who dislike her but she’s always so zoned out she probably thinks they’re friends and has no idea they hate her lmao

childhood buddies

fwb / hookups / one night stands

someone she smokes w or buys from or deals to

um thats it

bye

message me to plot here or on d*scord!!

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