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(Minor Veilguard spoilers) The Lords Of Fortune having a strict code about returning cultural artifacts to their home cultures is so funny when you consider that Isabela caused the coup in act 2 of DA2 specifically because she treasure hunted a cultural artifact. She didn’t display any outward remorse over it, and you rarely hear discourse about Isabela’s body count vs. Anders’ body count. Now Veilguard has shown us that Isabela did in fact have very deep feelings about what happened, just didn’t talk about them at all.

But like, girl definitely learned her lesson. She learned her lesson so hard that she makes everyone else learn it. Absolutely NO cultural robbery AT ALL, she’s not doing that shit again, absolutely not. Put that tablet back where it belongs. Shut your mouth. Give it back. Okay you can plunder the other stuff, get rich, get drunk, have fun. But nnNOOO DONT YOU DARE SELL THAT, PUT IT WHERE IT BELONGS

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More Cole and Anders Banters!

Cole: (Hums) Anders: What song is that? I think I recognize it…  Cole: Soft hands, soft eyes, a soft voice singing a song as her son slips to sleep on a soft pillow.  Cole: You couldn’t remember the tune. I’m helping.

───────

Cole: I am sorry for what the Templars did to you. Anders: Don’t worry about me. I got off easy. Cole: No, you didn’t. “Darkness all around, haven’t seen anyone in days. Did they forget me? Am I going to die here? Please, let it be soon, I don’t think I can take this–” Justice: Enough, Compassion. Cole: Your suffering counts too, Anders. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t worse, or that others suffered more. You suffered. It counts. And I am sorry. Anders: I… thank you, Cole. 

───────

Cole: I could make you forget, if you’d like. Anders: Forget what? Cole: Anything. Everything.. The dungeon, the kids who disappeared, the man they broke, all of Kirkwall. I can make people forget things that hurt. If it would help, I can make the pain go away. Anders: Would it even work, with Justice in my head? Cole: I… don’t know. I could try, though? Anders: That’s alright, Cole. I’ve learned to live with it. It reminds me what I’m fighting for.

───────

Anders: How did you get your name, Cole? Spirits don’t have names. Cole: It became mine when I became me. I came across, and it crossed to me. Anders: Does it bother you that Justice calls you Compassion? Cole: No. I am that too. It’s a good thing.

───────

Anders: Cole. Cole: Anders. Anders: For the past week, cats have been just showing up in my room at night. Cole: They like you. Anders: I think it’s more that they like the herbs and treats you’ve been hiding in corners and under my bed. Cole: Yes, that too. Anders: I had four whole cats in my room the other night. Cole: Did you want me to stop? Anders: No. They’re wonderful. Thank you. Cole: They think you’re wonderful, too. Lord Fluffypaws is especially fond of you.  

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Wasn't terribly invested in Durge x Astarion until I considered that Durge is constantly thinking about how pretty Astarion would be as a corpse, and what that would mean for their first night together. We know Astarion disassociates during sex, but now I have to imagine that Durge is also disassociating to keep themselves from violently ripping him apart. Both of them very much having parallel thoughts and not telling each other.

Astarion: If I can force myself to have sex with this person then my safety is assured.

Durge: If I can force myself to have sex with this person then no one will know I'm a monster.

Like. Neither of them enjoy themselves, they both just assume the other one wants this and perform the hell out of the encounter. Then if the relationship continues later they realize they were on the same incorrect page, they didn't even have to do that. An ace Durge/Astarion maybe? Could be super sweet.

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i’m fucking dying. it’s been brought to ben collins (the rad new owner of the onion’s) attention that Google AI summary is using The Onion headlines, resulting in this:

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For the Gambit fans who are not confident with French, quick guide for your posts and fic:

Chère: when addressing someone who's female.

Cher: when addressing someone who's male (also probably someone who's gender non-confirming, because French is big on the gender binary and patriarchy. If you're French-speaking and know an alternative please enlighten me, I want to know).

Mon chéri: when addressing someone who's male/gender non-confirming.

Ma chérie: when addressing someone who's female.

Mon ami: when addressing someone who's male/gender non-confirming.

Mon amie: when addressing someone who's female.

Mes amis: when addressing a group that is all male or of different genders (even if women are included).

Mes amies: when addressing a group that is all-female.

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if you are struggling with choosing which fundraisers to support, please consider donating to the following places providing medical aid, food, and other supplies to palestine at this time:

donate to doctors without borders here

donate to careforgaza here, providing food, medicine and clothing

donate an e-sim to gaza today

donate feminine hygiene kits for women in gaza

donate to the palestinian civilian relief fund

donate to the palestine children's relief fund

donate to the world food programme

donate medical aid for palestinians

donate to the united nations relief for palestine refugees

donate to healpalestine

if you are looking for individual fundraisers to donate to but are struggling to choose, gazafunds gives a spotlight to fundraisers that are not close to their goal.

instead of watching and supporting eurovision tonight, please instead boost this post & donate if you can. keep your eyes on rafah.

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I’m loving the thrill of rawdogging a fanfic based on a show I haven’t seen in 8 years which I do not have time to rewatch. Feels like an extreme sport.

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Of all the companion pairings, I hadn’t expected Wyll/Karlach being my favorite but I just love the dynamic

Because obviously you’ve got the whole thing of him wanting to kill her because he thought she was evil and then realized she was also a victim and was willing to be turned into a demon because he wasn’t willing to sacrifice an innocent person for himself, and her then being willing to stand up to the devils who want her dead on his behalf

But I also feel like as far as a relationship dynamic they would be a Prince Charming/damsel thing except they both think they’re the Prince Charming and the other is the damsel

Wyll lamenting how his endlessly kind wife who only wants to live a simple life where she is treated equally kindly was tricked, sold, had her heart replaced with an infernal engine that keeps her trapped in basically hell, and was forced to be the first line of attack for the devil who did this to her. Meanwhile behind him Karlach is looking at a locked metal gate and just decides to open it by bending the bars with her bare hands, melting the iron as she does because she has flames inside of her body

Karlach talking about her poor husband Wyll who gave up a comfortable life as the son of a duke to be entered into a devil’s pact and made into a homeless hero who would always protect people but never really get to exist as his own person outside of his pact and his folk hero perception. Meanwhile Wyll is eldritch blasting a demon in the face behind her with an entirely casual and unbothered look on his face

They fix Karlach to the point where she can leave Avernus and Wyll goes to his family and friends to prepare them for meeting her, telling them that she can be very sensitive and has gone through some rough times and grew up on the streets so she’s going to be more rough around the edges than they’re used to and it would probably upset her to come back home only to be made fun of, so please be kind. And in walks his 7 foot tall wife who is as wide as the door with her big giant muscles, battle ax strapped to her back, slapping Duke Ravengard on the shoulder and asking “How the hell are ya?”

Karlach goes to her old Baldur’s Gate friends and says she wants them to meet her husband but he’s the son of nobility and spent a long time living in that more polished world so he talks very formal and polite and isn’t really used to how they talk and interact so please don’t make fun of him if you think he speaks funny. And in walks the Blade of the Frontiers with a suspicious amount of not quite dried blood on his pants

They both think they’re the “They said no pickles” part of the relationship but actually if they asked for no pickles and were given pickles they would make eye contact with the person who did it while using their biggest two handed weapon to scrape the pickles off onto the floor

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never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

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Man I love it when winter is all the way gone and outside really starts SMELLING like outside again. I open the door and get blasted in the face with petrichor and flowers. I sniff the plants like they have cocaine on em. Gotta get my hit of that sweet sweet drug of Being Alive And Shit.

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ohhhh Kar'niss gives off Cicero vibes but in monsterfucker. That's why he's my bg3 cocaine.

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anyone want to see a fucking trainwreck of an ai article

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Obsessively reading everything in game by and about Gortash and the dude is

On a philosophical trajectory that ends in immortality thru technology / the machine

Doesn't have an original bone in his body, but he can backwards engineer anything

Halfway to being a decent scientist but doesn't have the education and is deeply impatient

Overconfident in the veracity of his own results and conclusions

Accurately predicted that the brain would metamorphose and become more difficult to control and then did nothing about it

Outsources his propaganda / arts and humanities

Charming, but he got there in a Pavlovian way (learned from trial and error and probably doesn't consciously know how he does it)

Vindictive af (learned / reinforced)

Darwinian (in the worst way)

Sociopathic, obviously, but extremely Rationalist about it

Never asks questions he doesn't know the answer to and probably thinks this makes him sound more authoritative

Completely incompetent as a strategist (but doesn't know it)

Not nearly as narcissistic / full of himself as he pretends to be

Thinks what he wants is praise but it's never enough because it's not actually what he wants (he wants to be wanted)

Bane makes him feel wanted (conditionally)

Durge made him feel wanted (unconditionally)

Understands intellectually that Durge got ambushed, but he feels abandoned

See also: thematic parallels between Gortash and

Silouv Yali (the Adamantine Forge & the construct Grym)

Oliver (in the shadow-cursed lands)

Astarion and Gale, obviously

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“It’s necessary for Palestinians to die because otherwise Israelis would never be able to exterminate Hamas!” “Iraqi citizens had to die because the US had to retaliate for the Iran-backed drone attack!” When will you learn that Arab people are not just collateral fucking damage. When will you learn they are not a means to an end. When will you stop dehumanizing Arab people in your endless attempts to justify the mindless slaughter that has been taking place for years, but which has intensified beyond belief the last four months. Why do you need to be told to treat Arab people like they’re human. Why do you need to be told this. Why do you need to be told.

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Yes Gortash tadpoling his parents to force their love is tragic, I’m of the Gortash Nation so love a good tragedy, but it’s also deeply, bizarrely funny?

Cause our man escaped the House of Hope at 18 and went straight back to Baldur’s Gate, started leading the cult of Bane and quickly became friends (or more) with the Chosen of Bhaal, so, like, he definitely could have killed or tortured his parents. They were literally right there, no protection, hadn’t moved or changed situation at all. For YEARS. Gortash is just seething at them for actual decades, doing nothing, with a whole Bhaalspawn hanging out next to him going “Uhh you ok there buddy? I can kill your parents nbd, get their bodies to you tonight. Torture em if you can wait to tomorrow.”

And Gortash just, “No, death isn’t enough. I must physically puppeteer them into saying they love me and what a perfect son I am.”

Durge: “… Ok. Uh. A little weird but who the fuck am I to judge.”

Gortash getting his hands on his first two tadpoles and going “Oh boy oh boy, time to give myself the WORST therapy.”

How did he make the saddest choice so goddamn funny. Sir, you are an entire slaver and arms dealer. Do you think he stops by now and then so they can be “happy to see him.” Does he make his mom make him cookies. Like sir what are you doing?

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AND ANOTHER THING about Durgewyll, because it deserves its own post.

I love love LOVE the pre-tadpole Durge having a thing with Gortash, and post-tadpole falling in love with Wyll. The absolute Cosmic Leap between those two men. Literally going straight from The Worst Man Ever to The Best Man Ever. Both Wyll and Gortash getting whiplash when they realize their lover’s “other type.” They can’t even process jealousy because they’re just… so baffled. Both of them be like, “This guy? Really?? You’re into THAT??? This is the bottom of the barrel, Durge, like what. You’re so much better than him.”

An Durge just “Idk idk what’s going on, I Am Lobotomized and I Want To Leave, I cannot handle this”

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I know people tend to forget Wyll a lot in this fandom (I wonder why. What Could Possibly Be Different. Can you spot the difference?/s) but I'm genuinely surprised at the lack of Durge x Wyll content. Especially if you're going Redeemed, there's that inherent flavor of "My lover cannot know the truth, I am horrible and they would hate me, they would be correct to hate me." And with Wyll it's just... so juicy, he's so pure and shining, and Durge is so filled with filth and misery that there's barely a person left underneath.

Idk, as a femme romance reader I've spent so many years reading the "love redeems" arc where a FMC plays beauty to an MMC beast, in every genre, medium, budget, etc. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but beauty and the beast as a story structure has never done it for me.

until it's reversed, apparently, because Wyll as the beauty to Durge's beast needs to be injected directly into my veins like yesterday. All the other companions are good and sweet, don't get me wrong, but their reactions are coded like 'i accept you,' where Wyll to me comes off much more as 'we will heal you.' He doesn't have any funny little quips about you trying to bite him, no innuendos, no "I Will Put You Down" a la Laezel, he's just... so good, and he believes in your inherent goodness, he so easily sees "you" and "your urges" as wholly seperate entities he would step between if he could.

Speaking of which!! The coronation scene, when everyone finds out you're Bhaalspawn? I never see anyone talking about Wyll's reaction compared to other companions getting angry (even Dark Shadowheart will yell at you) because Wyll seems to be the ONLY PERSON who immediately separates you(the person he knows) from you(the person you used to be). Astarion isn't angry, he even appreciates your scheme freeing him from Cazador, but he also kinda falls into the whole "I will talk to you as if you are the exact same person who did these things, this is Your True Nature and I feel positive about it."

Wyll's reaction feels like the only one saying "You WERE that," instead of "You ARE that." It also feels like the only one that kinda-sorta acknowledges Durge's actual amnesia, because he doesn't treat this revelation like a betrayal the way the other "good" companions do. They be saying "The real evil was hiding within our ranks all along" like wym hiding? Durge didn't know either, how tf they supposed to tell you?

Wyll doesn't even blink. Once he knows what you are, his No.1 priority is reassuring YOU about it. The fact you're Bhaalspawn isn't a betrayal; it's a Horrible Burden and he's sorry you have to bear it, but there have been others like you who were good, who overcame, and your blood isn't who you are. His first instinct is to offer hope, to reassure you that there's a way out, he believes so hard that your urges are a defeatable enemy and he's ready to fight them with you.

(I also fall into the Durge And Gortash Fucked camp, and I cannot overstate the tastiness of Durge waltzing into the coronation of their ex, the Worst Man Alive, while bringing along their new boyfriend, the Best Man Alive)

Idk, I've just never engaged in a romance where I played the part of the Beast. As much as people rag on pure, princely archetypes, I don't actually see them that often. I genuinely don't remember the last time I read/saw a male lead behave like Wyll, but I've seen plenty of Astarions, Fenrises, Rhysands, etc. Romance loves a fixable MMC, but so rarely an MMC who wants to do the fixing.

Anyway. Justice for Wyll or whatever. I can only cross my fingers that future DLC will include more romance content, because we all deserve to have a Beauty for our Beast sometimes.