madhuuraaa

[madhuuraaa]

A field of roses, yet her eyes sought those wildflowers, tucked away in some corner; for they were wild and free, everything a woman's not supposed to be. 🌼

[madhuuraaa]

You're not for everyone, and it's okay. Not everyone is made to belong to someone, not everyone is made to belong to anyone. Some people, they're like the wind, they do not belong to a place or a person. They're their own home, their own world. These are the souls who cannot be be caged by the societal norms. They value their freedom over everything else, even love. People like them, people like me; we're already so in love with our dreams, our freedom, that no human relation can ever hold us back. We're made for the greater pleasures of the world; something that will take us on a wild ride across the globe, and will never(hopefully) drop us back to where the world thinks we're supposed to belong. Along the way, we may leave pieces of ourselves, pieces of our heart, but these pieces will never be corporeal enough to force us back. Rather, they'll be the bread crumbs, left behind, subconsciously leading to us.

I, too, am a soul, imprisoned in this cage of human emotions; getting suffocated each and every day, being oppressed under the burden of expectations. Everyone expects one thing or the other from me, but nobody ever lives up to my expectations; no one ever understands that there maybe things I expect from myself. And my first priority should be to live up to my own expectations, rather than everyone else's. For, I'm the only person who'll be directly affected by the decisions I take. Before belonging to others, one must always belong to their own self. Because at some point in life, everyone will leave your side, except your own damned shadow. Be answerable to your own conscience than anyone else's.

[madhuuraaa]

ये दुनिया दौड़ना जानती है, पर मुझे तो चलना पसंद है।

क्यूं दौडू मैं?

जब मैं चल सकती हूं, थोड़ा ठहर कर इस दुनिया की खूबसूरती को निहार सकती हूं।

भला, क्यों दौड़ू मैं?

चलने में पैर कम दर्द देते हैं, इसीलिये धीरे चलने वाले दूर तक जाते हैं,

पर दौड़ने वाले कहीं बीच ही थक हार कर बेथ जाते है।

भला क्यों दौड़ू मैं?

मुझे चलना पसंद है|

धीरे-धीरे समझ कर अपने कदम रखना पसंद है,

बेधड़क दौड़कर किसी से टकराने से डर लगता है अब मुझे। ✨

[madhuuraaa]

...and suddenly, all the love songs were about you

and love wasn't a distant feeling now, I had it at my fingertips

human presence wasn't just a desire anymore, it had become our reality

I breathed you in love poems, and felt you in the whispers of lovers

you became the secret I kept between the pages of my favorite book;

right there, but just out of my reach now

For you were always there, and still a lifetime away

[madhuuraaa]

//Let's hold hands and walk in the rain//

I was waiting at the park bench, looking over at the horizon; the sun beginning to set for the day, but there was still no sign of you. I started to wonder, maybe you're busy somewhere and I chose the wrong day to meet. But, it has been more than a month since we met; more than a month since I sat with my head on your shoulder, your fingers drawing circles on my thighs. Is this what happens in long-distance relationships? Is it always going to be months before I see your face out of that virtual square? I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't hear you come, even though the park was half empty till now; everyone went back to their homes and families; and here we were, coming home after a month.

You sat down next to me, and gently took my hand in yours, and I was home finally. All those months of separation didn't make us strangers; instead, they just brought us closer. For half an hour we spoke nothing; you kept staring at me, and I kept looking at our intertwined fingers. But it was getting late, and we didn't have time, even the sun was setting. And that's when you spoke,'Are you looking at the sky right now? These stars and the moon, they were always the same for the past 30 days, but you weren't there with me. We were sharing the same sky, but now we are sharing the same space.' You always loved the night sky, the stars and the moon and the peace calming the chaos in your heart.

In response, I just snuggled closer to you. I was never great with words, and you are always full of them for me. It was calming to just sit in silence and listen to your heart beating; I felt safe and at home. We sat there for hours, till the guard came to close the park. As we got back inside the city, the world came back to us; with its noises and chaos, but you were still holding onto my hand; as if I was your tether to peace.

It started pouring; but instead of running for shelter, you stood there getting wet, marvelling at the rain drops. 'I promised you a walk in the rain.' you reminded me. It was a long time ago, but you remembered; you always tend to remember everything about me. 'You are like the first drop of rain, soothing my skin from the scorching summer', and I spoke for the first time since we met an hour ago.

[madhuuraaa]

I hated summers. The scorching heat, lonely roads, and dried lakes were not a pleasant sight to me. The warm air and the withered flowers instilled gloom in my heart.

But then, he called me summer, like a sweet song he told me he loved the crimson sky of the summer evenings, said it's reflection glistened on my face making it look a canvas of that Van Gogh's painting they talk about. He talked to me in the language of stars, told me about the constellations while we were under the clear night sky.

He said, i smelled like the fresh morning air, touching the skin so softly that all he felt was love.

One day, he bought me flowers, we sat by the lake staring at the evening sky, I told him I loved sunflowers, he wrote me a poem, we talked about seasons...and it was the crimson sky again.

Autumn has our story of love, but summers...they make us complete.

[madhuuraaa]

//You're at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart//

You met me at the edge of the world, and asked me not to jump,

That wasn't unusual though, many had asked similar of me.

I feigned ignorance, as if your voice didn't reach me.

I thought of jumping again, But you took my hand, and pulled me inside, out from the grasp of the deep chasm that lay beneath,

You shook me hard, and I felt the pain fall away, like droplets of infected blood, leaving my body.

Your voice wasn't far away anymore, it whispered at the edges of my soul.

My hand didn't feel cold anymore; your fingers were warm, laced with mine.

You sat with me, just near the edge, but far enough not to jump.

I wept and wept, my sobs echoing throughout the emptiness below.

The birds ran away, afraid of me

The seasons changed, and I kept weeping; mourning the loss of innocence and love

But you sat there, through it all, holding me close to your heart, warming my dead soul.

[madhuuraaa]

//A boy wrapped in darkness//

We shall meet in a place

where there is no darkness

for darkness is deceiving,

and it makes monsters of humans.

There was a boy I knew,

who loved darkness so dearly

like his long lost friend.

He let the darkness consume him, eat him whole.

He thought it made a monster of him, the darkness.

But less did he know, the darkness was never the monster

but a victim,

of it's own loneliness,

abandoned by the light.

That boy, he too, was abandoned by the light

left alone to feed on his own thoughts

banished by the world,

for he wasn't like them, he wasn't made of paper.

But of magic, and stardust

of dreams, and desires

He was made of a heart that beat, a soul that felt.

He was too real for this paper world,

and so he suffered; an endless agony.

It seemed never to end, this perpetual pain.

But end it did.

For this time, his light didn't abandon him.

This time, the light wasn't afraid of his darknes.

Rather, it embraced the darkness, and the boy within.

It saw him for the victim he was,

and not the monster he thought himself to be.

[madhuuraaa]

Hey,can you follow back sorry for th random anom

Yeah sure, I'll follow you back:)

[madhuuraaa]

9:18 am

I looked at myself in the mirror today

and I wasn't real anymore.

This time it didn't even take me hours to loose existence

I went with a puff

like I never existed.

Did I really exist?

Or was I just another phantom?

[madhuuraaa]

"Woh cheez jise dil kehte hai, hum bhul gaye hai rakh ke kahi."

This heart, we so naively relate with love,

and emotions, and feelings

This stupid little heart of mine, where did I loose it?

Or did I really loose it?

Was it ever there for me to loose,

or was I just born without one?

I, so often, look for it in the places I might have hidden it and forgotten,

places that are crowded enough to make one loose a prized trinket,

even places that have been abandoned for so long,

maybe I buried it there, never to be dug out again?

Why was I so keen on hiding it, guarding it,

keeping it away from the looks of men and women alike?

What was it that I feared?

Seems, I hid it so good

it's lost to even me.

Is that why I don't feel your desire when

you look at me with longing in your eyes?

I sense your ache, radiating off your skin

But how do I make you see the reality of it all?

How do I catch the rhythm of your heart, beating for me

when mine stopped ages ago.

-Madhura

[madhuuraaa]

//Ramblings of a chaotic mind//

I'm not afraid of the chaos,

why would I?

Isn't it better than the deadly silence?

The silence, with its secret whispers

and muffled cries,

irrational thoughts and full of lies.

Ah! see what this silence did now,

making me rhyme, but I don't rhyme

Why? Isn't it too un-chaotic?

Too orderly to be true.

How would I know what the next sentence ends with?

Why would I know?

Shouldn't thoughts be random?

out of nowhere, unexpected.

Is that why everyone's so afraid of the chaos?

Because it's too disordered, uncontrolled?

How fearful we humans are of something that cannot be controlled,

The witches set on fire, beheaded, marked impure

for they were creatures of magic,

magic; forever a mystery to the human mind.

The wildflowers extirpated, crushed

Why? because they don't need us humans

because they grow of their own accord

because we're too afraid of loosing control.

We think so highly of ourselves,

and yet, fall at the slightest push.

We've been glorifying the silence for so long

that the mere thought of chaos

makes us cower like a frightened kitten

in the corners of our mind,

seeking a sanctuary from the outer disarray.

But oh! what fools we are

to think of our mind as a safe haven

far from the maddening crowd,

When that's where the chaos reside.

~Madhura

[madhuuraaa]

11:30 p.m.

You're not for everyone, and it's okay. Not everyone is made to belong to someone, not everyone is made to belong to anyone. Some people, they're like the wind, they do not belong to a place or a person. They're their own home, their own world. These are the souls who cannot be be caged by the societal norms. They value their freedom over everything else, even love. People like them, people like me; we're already so in love with our dreams, our freedom, that no human relation can ever hold us back. We're made for the greater pleasures of the world; something that will take us on a wild ride across the globe, and will never(hopefully) drop us back to where the world thinks we're supposed to belong. Along the way, we may leave pieces of ourselves, pieces of our heart, but these pieces will never be corporeal enough to force us back. Rather, they'll be the bread crumbs, left behind, subconsciously leading to us.

I, too, am a soul, imprisoned in this cage of human emotions; getting suffocated each and every day, being oppressed under the burden of expectations. Everyone expects one thing or the other from me, but nobody ever lives up to my expectations; no one ever understands that there maybe things I expect from myself. And my first priority should be to live up to my own expectations, rather than everyone else's. For, I'm the only person who'll be directly affected by the decisions I take. Before belonging to others, one must always belong to their own self. Because at some point in life, everyone will leave your side, except your own damned shadow. Be answerable to your own conscience than anyone else's.

~Madhura

[madhuuraaa]

* written sins *

if my secrets were out

written upon my flesh

each one on display

would any portion of me

be beautiful?

if my sins

were confessed daily

into the ears of those

which think they know me

would they still desire

my company?

if I were granted a full day

of freedom

would I still want to

run and hide?

when the night falls

upon each day

which first greeted the sun

will my heart

continuously plead

to be full and at rest?

thoughts seem to

consume with the showing

of the moon

all strength, courage and defenses

fall with the stars

positive breaths find their escape

fingers unclench

the night fully surrounds

it is when the darkness

and I

become one

© ScriptedSilence. All rights reserved

Pic credit- Pinterest

[madhuuraaa]

Hey, can we follow each other?

Already did.☺

[madhuuraaa]

I'll never be lost,

till the stars are above me.

But what if the world makes me blind and vain?

Would I stop craving for the stars?

But then, I think,

it is as absurd as a lost soul not wanting to be home.

For the heart never ceases

'til it reaches its treasure.

We're all lost souls,

wandering on the edges of sanity

finding our way back to the stars.

-Madhura

[madhuuraaa]

Oh life!

You inflicted me with enough wounds to kill me,

But here I am, alive

stitching the cuts with the very needles you pierced me with.

Oh life!

You left me to smoulder in your fire,

But I turned it back on you,

and burned down your wall of sufferings.

Oh life!

You left me deep in the darkness of your chaos,

But I followed the fireflies out of the forest,

and emerged upon the calm lake, reflecting the moonlight.

Oh life!

You deemed me to be a sparrow

But I turned out to be the Phoenix,

rising from my own ashes.

-Madhura