madadh-allaidh - Tumblr blog

[madadh-allaidh]

[madadh-allaidh]

[madadh-allaidh]

Some bad photos of me trying some pole moves.

[madadh-allaidh]

Easy peasy kill me pleasy

[madadh-allaidh]

[madadh-allaidh]

may 2019 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

[madadh-allaidh]

3x11 Succession

[madadh-allaidh]

Me: *is suicidal and craves support and attention*

Also me: *never reaches out for support or attention because of a massive fear that I’m being or will be perceived as being manipulative and needy*

[madadh-allaidh]

What the hell is wrong with me.

[madadh-allaidh]

[madadh-allaidh]

My head has been spinning with things to write for days but when i go to write them down it just goes blank. I'm trying to write a personal essay for English as well and i cant decide on a topic to write about. There are just too many thoughts to try to make sense of and trying to get them on paper is a struggle.

[madadh-allaidh]

Today is master-class: how to paint a cat

[madadh-allaidh]

Bambi 🦌

[madadh-allaidh]

花布爱上鸟_ on weibo

[madadh-allaidh]

You wanna know what happens when you're starving?

Your hair gets thin and limp. Noticeably. You don’t have enough nutrients to help it stay healthy.

You get so. Fucking. Cold. All the time. People don’t want to touch you, because you’re so cold. You’ll be shivering under a blanket, in a hot tub, by a fire, wherever you are.

You’ve heard that seeing food will be upsetting? You have no idea. Even if it’s nowhere near you, or on a screen, or in the hands of a stranger, you’ll resent it because you want it. Some nights you’ll start crying because you miss it so much.

Everything will become numbers. You aren’t just walking your dog anymore, you’re counting the minutes and calories you’re burning. You aren’t enjoying a warm day, you’re trying to figure out if the higher temperatures are making your heart rate go up so you burn faster.

Your social life will die. You’ll be skittish and avoid people when they have food in case they offer some. You’ll say no to parties and dates and meet-ups because you think there might be food. You’ll grow paranoid, terrified of people finding out. You’ll start to despise people who love you solely because they want to help.

You’ll hurt. That pang in your chest? It’s probably because you’re not eating. Your stomach? Say goodbye to its silence. Your butt? It’ll hurt whenever you sit down. You’ll get headaches, heart pains, even breathing will eventually become exhausting.

And eventually, you’ll die. Maybe you ate more than usual and couldn’t handle the thought of gaining, and exercised so much that your heart overexerted itself. Maybe you actually did gain, and that enough was enough to make you swallow a handful of pills. Maybe your blood pressure lowered to fatal levels, or maybe you passed out and hit your head on a table.

It all ends the same.

Don’t let the “pro ana’s” fool you, this isn’t a glamorous lifestyle. This is a deadly and painful illness.

I feel like a lot of people need to remember that before they skip their meals.

Don’t do this to yourselves, you gorgeous humans. You deserve to live. You deserve friends. You deserve love.

You deserve to eat.

[madadh-allaidh]

[madadh-allaidh]