macadamiathought

[macadamiathought]

Adjustment

Being married there are lots of adjustment that you need to face. for me, one of it is how i adjust my daily routine to the marriage life. i used to be someone who has lots of activities and join lots of courses but lately i did not do that.

actually it has a good side, for example i can slow down a little bit and having my time to connect with my husband, his family and my pregnancy but sometimes, i feel really unproductive cause i will just lay down and do nothing all that.

for me being productive is doing something that makes us closer to our goals, and since it's still in an early day of 2024, i'm still making my resolutions.

also, i used to think that i have to do something together with my husband, in fact, i dont have to rely 100% on him to feel productive or happy. just like now i can be productive and express my feelings through this writing on this tumblr, writing it in the corner of his room.

therefore, one of my new 2024 resolution is being my self like how i usually does, not depending on someone else. being happy and content wherever i am, and still productive.

[macadamiathought]

Hi, udah lama gue ga nulis di tumblr.

update dari kehidupan gue adalah......

I'm already married and pregnant for 4 months now (been married since august 12). so much happened in my life in the short range of time.

masih banyak adjustment yang harus gue terapin but so far it is fun and we adjust just fine.

my husband is someone who i knew from my college days, but we never speak to each other during that time.

we met through dating apps again and it lead to this marriage. thankfully he is a funn peson, someone who can balance my seriousness and being calm while i am on fire, lol.

anyway i realize something in this marriage. for me, living with someone else and becoming a wife, at the beginning i was too focused on my new role that i forgot that i am wardah before a wife.

therefore by writing this here i want to keep journaling daily (hopefully) to remember event or everything that will happen in my life from now on.

while i'm writing this blog, its 24th december, 2023. 7 days before new year and i'm going to write my 2024 resolutions!

Things that i am grateful in my life lately :

healthiness

i feel like my connection with Allah is increasing cause i've been reading Qur'an daily now, hopefully i'll be consistent

i've got an amazing husband

good in laws

Allah still give my family rezeki yang lancar dan berlimpah

projects that keep coming for me through word of mouth

Allah believe that i can be a mom

i've got enough rest and cooking with my in laws, my new favourite activity

buying drugs for emi's heart and diabetes

house in cgs

Thank you Allah for your blessings, semoga gue bisa tetep jadi hamba Allah yang pandai bersyukur, rajin memohon ampun, bertaqwa dan menebar manfaat bagi orang sekitar

[macadamiathought]

Grateful Heart Day 1

hari ini gue akan memulai tradisi grateful heart setiap hari kembali.

Senin, 26 Desember 2022.

Gue bersyukur hari ini Allah kasih cuaca adeeem banget. Hujan tapi ga ada petir, kompisisi turun airnya pas dan tidak terlalu deras. 

Aktivitas gue hari ini dimulai dengan solat tahajjud tadi, alhamdulillah ni mata sama badan bisa diajak kerjasama jadi ga masuk terlena kedalam nikmatnya tidur di 1/3 malam kemarin. pagi-pagi gue udah baca buku tentang Khadijah juga, dan very insightful sih walaupun kebanyakan isinya tentang risalah Nabi Muhammad SAW juga tapi gapapa, banyak info baru yang gue dapet.

Pas sampe toko good newsnya semua project berjalan dengan aman, di toko online dan offline masih Allah datangkan pembeli yang banyak.

Happy juga tadi pagi karena bisa ngajak Jahid dan Tante Atin untuk drive thru McD pertama kalinya. Gue kira yang selama ini gue anggep very very biasa aja yaitu drive thru mcd buat sepupu dan tante gue itu adalah hal yang baru dan amazing. Jadi untuk small priviledge that i have living here in a city suka gue lupain. Makasih ya Allah.

Makasih Tuhan Semesta Alam yang paling sayang sama aku, i can not thank you enough. Alhamdulillah

[macadamiathought]

Differences

Hi umur gue sekarang sudah 27 tahun dan gue yakin diumur-umur segini wanita ketika menjalani sebuah relationship pasti sudah nyari yang tujuan serius yaitu pernikahan. Sekarang gue punya pacar seorang akuntan, sedangkan gue punya bisnis sendiri. MBTI gue entj, pacar gue infj. Jadi kalo di cek berdasarkan MBTI kami masing masing, gue ada spesies mbti terlangka di cewek, sedangkan dia spesies mbti terlangka di cowok. gue kalo ada konflik selalu di confront sedangkan dia conflict avoider. gue selalu mendapatkan energi kalo ngobrol dan komunikasi sama orang orang, sedangkan dia kalo ngobrol sama terlalu banyak orang bisa drained energinya.

Perbedaan-perbedaan diatas udah ada dari awal kita dekat dan masa honeymoon phasenya pacaran. Dengan tujuan awal kita memang sama-sama mau menuju ke jenjang pernikahan juga mungkin yang mendasari kenapa kita ga menutu-nutupi sifat masing masing supaya saling terbuka dan “take it or leave it?”

anyway lately, karena dia adalah seorang akuntan dan infj. Akhir desember ini dia sudah mulai memasuki peak season kerjaannya, dan sepertinya energi dia habis untuk mengurusi pekerjaan. Komunikasi kita kemarin jadi tidak sebanyak sebelumnya. jadwal telfonan semalem juga ke skip padahal gue udah nungguin sampe jam 10 malam. terus dia ketiduran.......lalu lupa nelfon gue,hmmm!

Diotak gue udah muncul semua overthink seperti “kenapa dia ga se aktif dulu nelfoninnya?” “jangan jangan dia sudah mulai bosan” “kayaknya dia udah ga sayang lagi”. bagaimana cara mengatasi hal-hal seperti ituu?

akhirnya semalem gue solat wkwkwk, solah istikharah, minta sama Allah kalo memang kali ini yang ini adalah jodoh gue, baik untuk gue, keluarga gue, anak-anak gue di masa depan, dunia dan akhirat gue, beserta kesehatan mental/jasmani gue semoga Allah dekatkan, berkahi, ridhai dan Allah bisikkan ke hatinya supaya cepat cepat melamar gue. tapi kalo bukan semoga Allah kasih hati gue rasa tenang dan lapang buat nerima keputusanNya dan Allah ganti sama yang terbaik versiNya.

“it is not differences that divide us. it is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences” Audre Lorde