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One of the largest conditions humanity had for joining the intergalactic council was the implementation of some organization called 'OSHA'

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Would anyone like to join me in my New Year's tradition of reading about good things that happened this year?

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All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.

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Inb4 they change the start of The Incredibles because he throttles his health exec boss

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[link]

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shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

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Happy Hanukkah

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My girlfriend is on a cruise so while she’s gone I’m gonna cut the sleeves off of all my shirts

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me, charting out a fic that is very Anti Qui-Gon Jinn: i think it would be cool to write a Melida/Daan AU. i should read the books to get a better idea of the characters and see if there's anything cool i want to include me: *hunts down online versions of The Defenders of the Dead and The Uncertain Path* me: *reads them, most likely giving my computer 5000 viruses in the process* me: ......ah fuck, it's a emotionally complex situation. shit. fuck. i can actually understand Qui-Gon's POV. goddamnit me, half sheepish and half angry: *rewrites fic outline to make it slightly less Anti Qui-Gon*

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me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

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Trying to do all separate fandoms:

Barbara Gordan (DC Comics/Batman)

Katara (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Nami (One Piece)

Olivier Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Cinderella (Disney)

Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Shimura Nana (My Hero Academia)

Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars)

Haruno Sakura (Naruto)

Valerie Gray (Danny Phantom)

Name ten female characters you like, you get zapped if it's jsut a male character you call a babygirl or other feminine nicknames because I can't see people calling Lestat coquette again

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from Original Plumbing, a publication for and by transmasculine people.

What's your favorite part of being a transsexual?

"While I often wish I was born a bio boy and didn't have to go through all of this, it's more often that I find it a blessing to have lived and experienced both sides of life, sex and gender and get to play in-between. To have been a girl, a woman, a lesbian, a dyke, a tomboy, a 'questioning', a boy, and now a queer man is pretty amazing and fucking hot!"

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Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”