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Doing the best I can
Hello all. There’s a little coffee left if you want a cuppa. Pupper is outside enjoying the morning waking the world up. I’ve got to jump in the shower, pain levels are good enough that maybe I can get out to a meeting this morning. Shortly, I will take medicine and begin the day myself. Yesterday, I vacuumed the house. Shortly after finishing, Pupper accidentally spilled his food bowl. It…
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A little Monday
I have learned that Monday is not as bad as it could be. I’ve hated mondays since he died. Over the last few days I went to a camp out to visit. Met lots of old and good friends who mean the universe to me. This morning, I’m having my first cup of coffee. Pupper is outside enjoying the day. I am staving off a panic attack. It has been a while since those things ruled my world. There is hope…
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The wall
Freedom from fireworks will hopefully happen soon. Pupper and I are enjoying the back yard. For the first morning ever, the football field isn’t tormenting a dog of mine. Yesterday, a short privacy fence was donated and installed. On the other side of that fence is the high school football field. Last week’s photo same spot in the yard. The field, with mowing being done today causes so many…

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The groomers
Today is an exciting day for Pupper Tanner Theo the Gangster of Love. He gets to go to the groomer this afternoon. His claws will be trimmed, he gets a nice shower, his ears will be cleaned, and his tail will get special attention. The only crisis is how much will he flirt with everyone there. Sighs. We will have to wait and see. It’s all good. Louise Ann Benjamin Worthington, MN
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I walked a 1000 steps today
This was huge. It wasn’t easy, but I can walk. I can walk. Not miles, not all over. But I can walk. Hope, I have hope. Louise Ann Benjamin, Worthington Mn
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Enjoying Peace
Pupper and I are relaxing this Saturday afternoon. We have the air on, and I am monitoring the outside temps to make sure we are safe. Life here is quiet and good. We are okay. I am happy again. This is something that has come in spits and sparks over the years, but recently has been a constant presence. The chaos and pain needed recovery time. I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t feel like I…
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A roller-coaster of emotions
The other day I scattered his ashes. My brain and body are still healing. I went for a walk. I relaxed. I didn’t cry, but letting him go was crucial to my soul. Today, I am sore. I did some exercises yesterday. Now, I am watching the Pup and have been bit by a mosquito. I am healing, and alive. -L
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Pupper and the Humane Society
Hey there, have been working on self quite a bit over the last few months, and also focusing on making sure Pupper was comfortable in our home. I now want to talk about the Sioux Falls area Humane Society. https://www.sfadopt.com/ Pupper and I found each other there back in April. He had been moved there 2 days before I arrived to meet hopefully a new forever friend. He was the only one who…
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What's missing
It doesn’t matter how long it has been, or how bad it was. There were good times too. He rarely allowed a picture to be taken. But I found these. I still cry, I still silently scream. I still feel like my soul has been ripped out of my body. -L

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Slowly
It has been awhile, and I thought I was done. The urge to write was gone completely, and my paper diary was completely blank. I don’t know what makes today different, but here we are. I’ve been challenged to figure out who I am without a husband, without others needing me, and without being responsible for anyone but myself. I still don’t know. Am I the ultra responsible person? Am I the…
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It is time to say Goodbye
Hello all, my apologies for not being able to post daily anymore. This morning, I realized that I need to shut the blog down. It isn’t my pain, it isn’t my widowhood, it is me. Granted, this blog saved my life, kept me going during the last years of my marriage. I am so grateful for you, and want to say Thank You. Good bye dear friends, gentle distance hugs. I’ll be shutting the site down at…
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A lovely spring day
Hey there, have been working on doing my best, and on caring for myself. I’m not doing any doom cleaning, I’m just being. It’s okay for me to just be, to enjoy, to relax. Pupper and I are at peace. Yesterday we went to my sister’s house to return her license plates. In her state, the plate doesn’t go with the vehicle, it goes with the driver/owner. She would have been here on Monday to pick…
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16 year old van
It is here, a tremendous gift. I have a new to me vehicle, and it is an improvement. Now, I’m going to the county office in a little over an hour. It’s almost time to get ready. I’ve got to get the title, the plates, and all of the other paperwork handled. It’s time to swap over the insurance, and to load the van with the things I need to survive when I head out. Afterwards, if there is enough…
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Selling my town and country
Hey there, it is a lovely morning. Pupper Tanner Unit Theo the master of snuggles is outside. His friends, the squirrels and birds are keeping him busy and entertained. He dances with them, and the smile on his furry face is so sweet. On Monday, a new to me vehicle will be here. It’s green, one of the one true colors, and also a TnC. I like this style of vehicle, as it has a sliding rear…
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All by myself
Hey there, hope all is well. Tonight there is a small success. I paid the first half of the property taxes for the year. This is huge, and another sign of my independence. I’m so grateful. -L
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One step at a time
We went for a tiny walk today. Pupper and I walked the sidewalk in front of the house. We then had to rest at the patio table for a few. It was okay. Each slow patient step helps. I’m waiting now, for the OTC meds to kick in. It will be okay. -L
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