lost-at-sea-blog

[lost-at-sea-blog]

What is the lack of inspiration? These past days I've been going through that. A lot. I have this huge need of writing, but I don't know what about. It seems it is not that odd as I thought, but it is something I can't resolve. I need ideas, inspiration, or even orders. I WANT to write. At this point in my life, writing is a need.

[lost-at-sea-blog]

What is love anyways?

[lost-at-sea-blog]

27/02/19

I felt happy today. 

[lost-at-sea-blog]

[lost-at-sea-blog]

She #2

She wanted someone that made her feel loved and wanted, but how would she ever find such thing if she never really looked for it? Did the love come right at your door and, with just a knock, you know that’s it? That’s the someone you’ve been looking for? Where do you find a love made just for you? How to know it’s the right one? And if it’s not… It’s really necessary to pass all the fucked shit that comes with the wrong love? It seems it is. And it’s sucks.

(27/09/18)

[lost-at-sea-blog]

She #1

She was quiet, but she was so loud.

She was thoughtful, but she also was impulsive.

She was really calm, but she was a thunderstorm when angry.

She was all that and more, because she wasn’t defined by tag.  

(28/09/18)

[lost-at-sea-blog]

More about me... even though *no one* asked

0: Height    1,67 meters

1:  Age    20

2: Shoe size   6 or 6.5

3: Do you smoke? cigars socially, weed not yet ;)

4: Do you drink?  yasss right now I want a pint

5: Do you take drugs? no

6: Age you get mistaken for 20 something I guess, idk

7: Have tattoos? not yet, but I have some ideas on mind

8: Want any tattoos? yes, but only smalls ones 

9: Got any piercings? my ears

10: Want any piercings? yes, want more on my ears and one on my nose

11: Best friend? does my dogs count? idk I have close friends 

12: Relationship status    single and ready to mingle

13: Biggest turn ons    intelligence, sense of humor, nice smile, chivalry (idk) 

14: Biggest turn offs   arrogance, ignorance, rudeness 

15: Favorite movie   10 things I hate about you (Holy God Heath Ledger)

16: I’ll love you if…  you make me laugh you will have my heart 

17: Someone you miss   no one?

18: Most traumatic experience   uncle’s death i think, don’t know

19: A fact about your personality   funny as hell, really caring, a born procrastinator 

20: What I hate most about myself   my inability to express my feelings

21: What I love most about myself   my humor, my eye color, my sporty self

22: What I want to be when I get older   live in different cities and travel A LOT

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)   when kids really bad, now really good

24: My relationship with my parent(s)   very good, especially with my mom

25: My idea of a perfect date   only had one and he broke up with me there so... 

26: My biggest pet peeves  people not answering my messages 

27: A description of the girl/boy I like   don’t really know who I like atm

28: A description of the person I dislike the most    dirty black hair, ugly smile, annoying personality, need to be noticed, fucking everything in her tbh 

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend    i didn’t want to hang out... sorry sis

30: What I hate the most about work/school     the very beginning of the year when you have to make friends

31: What my last text message says    a joke to one of my friends, Victoria

32: What words upset me the most    idk

33: What words make me feel the best about myself   funny, intelligent, kind

34: What I find attractive in women    i’m straight but the smile and the eyes are key

35: What I find attractive in men     smile, eyes, humor, hair, height, sportiness  

36: Where I would like to live    anywhere actually, but either french or english countryside or big cities like London, LA, Madrid, etc. 

37: One of my insecurities    my looks

38: My childhood career choice     when I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian, an architect or an actor (that last one still a dream tho) 

39: My favorite ice cream flavor    mine only exist in my country buuut chocolate is pretty fine

40: Who I wish I could be     chris pratt girlfriend... joke, I don’t want to be anyone else but me 

41: Where I want to be right now    traveling the world 

42: The last thing I ate    a watermelon 

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately    Calum fucking Hood

44: A random fact about anything     Cow farts contaminate the planet  

[lost-at-sea-blog]

Whenever I feel like writing and I put my hands to it... Just goes away. SHit. 

[lost-at-sea-blog]

Thank u, next.

                                                                                                                                    Saturday, December 8, 2018 

With the end of the year around the corner, all the feels, goods and bads, make a revival.

Today I remembered all the fucked up shit I've passed through this 2018 and one that always comes to my mind is my former friend Palmer (not her real name tho). She was my only friend at the Uni, because - and I’m not blaming her  for that- I had no others. I thought she was enough and most of the time I’d gotten carried away by her judgemental thoughts of anybody else in the class room; and really blame myself for never opening up to other people because of her sayings instead of just not listening to them and finding out by myself.

Although she was really nice and willing to help me out every time, with the time, and even more with the distance, I realized that she was very toxic to me and my personality.

The thing was that I had to start all over again at the mid of the school year, alone, afraid, with my family far away and crying the most part of the day. But I made it. 

Today I only wanna write a reflexion for me to remember that fucking everything happens for a reason, and no matter what awful situations you have to go through, it will be for the better and the personal growing.

Because, if the fight did not happen, I would not have been (self) forced to grow up, to become adult, to face my fears and overcome my one true hurdle: Shyness. So that's the reason I'm really grateful for this year. Despite all the scary and embarrassing situations I had to deal with, this year meant personal growing. All of those things wouldn't had happened if I was not self forced to get out of my fucking stupid comfort zone and deal with them.

So, despite having still fears to face and solve a lot of other issues, I'm so happy this year went by as it did.

2018 I say thank you, next.