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[littlebird-littlebird]

I’d been looking for something else but found this and thought I’d put it here—L’Ennemi by Charles Baudelaire:

Français:

Ma jeunesse ne fut qu’un ténébreux orage,

Traversé çà et là par des brillants soleils;

Le tonnerre et la pluie ont fait tel ravage,

Qu’il reste en mon jardin bien peu de fruits vermeils.

Voilà que j’ai touché l’automne des idées,

Et qu’il faut employer la pelle et les râteaux,

Pour rassembler à neuf les terres inondées,

Où l’eau creuse des trous grands comme des tombeaux.

Et qui sait si les fleurs nouvelles que je rêve

Trouveront dans ce sol lavé comme une grève

Le mystique aliment qui ferait leur vigueur?

——O douleur! ô douleur! Le Temps mange la vie,

Et l’obscur Ennemi qui nous ronge le cœur

Du sang que nous perdons croit et se fortifie!

————

English (trans. by Norman Shapiro):

My youth was one long, dismal storm, shot through

Now and again with flashing suns; the rain

And thunder stripped by orchard bare: too few,

Today, the ruddy fruits that still remain.

And so I reach the autumn of my mind:

With rake and shovel must I now set out

To right the sodden landscape, where I find

Deep, gaping holes, like graves, dug roundabout.

But who knows if this soil, like sea-washed shore,

Will feed the new-dreamt flowers of my art

The mystic food their vigor hungers for?

——Ah woe! Ah woe! Time eats life to the core,

And so the dark Enemy who gnaws our heart

Gluts on our blood and prospers all the more.

[littlebird-littlebird]

something so satisfying in the imperfect as real and the perfect as grotesque. visceral. perfection as static. unchanging. dead

[littlebird-littlebird]

Come, dear Badkhn, take my hand—

They’re starting up another song!

Hadn’t you desired this? Dance—

Dance!—oh, Badkhn, nothing’s wrong!

Come and spin across the floor,

Keeping tempo on your toes;

Tied to the bottom of that well—

Oh, dearest Badkhn, let it go!

Following that tragic end,

Permit yourself this levity,

And turn and turn and turn and turn—

Your steps alight with fiendish glee!

If your old friend could see you now—

Go, pour a glass, and toast his name!

And dance and dance among your ghosts,

And let your cruel God take the blame!

Call it more than disappointing,

Trapped by all this dinning hell;

And don’t forget that old grotesque—

Who now is keeper of your self!

Let the madness catch you, sir,

You’ve not gone far enough, I say!

Nu, have another round on me, and

Dance and dance that night away!

[littlebird-littlebird]

What do you mean all my problems can't be solved by cleaving things in twain with an ancient mighty blade. You're sounding awful cleavable right now.

[littlebird-littlebird]

thinking about justification for famine having a catboy disguise:

thinks she’s an Apex Predator™️, but actually solidly in the middle of the food chain

standoffish and aloof unless a) she REALLY likes you or b) wants to be annoying/contrarian

easily overstimulated and responds by biting probably

“feral gremlin” to “feral gremlin that we took inside but still doesn’t let us pet her” pipeline

the very important mental image of her sitting on top of paperwork knocking pens on the floor

reb said so

[littlebird-littlebird]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[littlebird-littlebird]

[littlebird-littlebird]

behold: la creatura

[littlebird-littlebird]

Who am I? Good sir, why, you already know:

I’m that hunger incessant, steadfast at your side;

I knew you on Earth and again here below—

I was there in your youth, I was there when you died!

I’m a growl, a wanting, a craving, a haunting;

I nip at your heels, one more shadow malign.

Astride a black horse, I watch laughing and taunting—

“And mind you don’t damage the oil or wine!”

Me, I’m good friends with the pot and the kettle—

Forgive me, good man, I don’t mean to insult;

I’ll follow from wasteland to highrise to shtetl,

A glutton for punishment down to a fault!

A paen in my ear and a pang in my gut;

Are you just as fed up by this day-to-day hell?

I won’t beat ‘round the bush, I won’t butter you up—

Come and join me for dinner! It’s sure to be swell!

Can you stomach my prattling, so cavalier?

You’ve gathered by now, I should think, my conceit!

If I’m overeager, forgive me, my dear—

It’s been ages since I’ve had friends over to eat!

[littlebird-littlebird]

Hey you. You should irrevocably surrender your humanity to become a creature.

[littlebird-littlebird]

whatever I'll post my addendum to it anyway

[littlebird-littlebird]

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

[littlebird-littlebird]

Big fan of characters realizing they don't get to die. They have to live. And grow. And be a person. And deal with shit they thought they'd never have to. And be fucked up about it. I would like more of this. Enough dying for honor or as redemption. It ain't. You're just a corpse. There is no moral value in dirt time.

[littlebird-littlebird]

i can't lie to you i loveee bad endings sometimes. what if nothing worked out. what if the characters gave into their worst instincts. what if they became worse. what if there's truly no hope left. what will they do out of desperation? who will they become as their worst selves?

[littlebird-littlebird]

im like if roadkill was a girl

[littlebird-littlebird]

It’s always “revenge won’t give you back what you lost” and “murder is wrong” and never how was the bloody violent revenge the bloody violent revenge looked fun was it fun

[littlebird-littlebird]

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.