littlebigchaos-art

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I had this idea in mind for 3 years now from the moment I met @vladhampir I had so much fun drawing this. I hope you'll like it as well ;3

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Orla Nun costume for halloween

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Interactive PNG I made for collabs!

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Orla reference sheet card!

It took forever to make but I'm proud of it. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna expand on it in the future

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Planet People flags, from top left:

-Androgynous -Demi-girl -Demi-boy -Genderfluid -Omnisexual -Intersex -Sapphic -Achelliean -Demi-sexual -Aromantic more on my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_planet.people/

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Planet people flags, from top left:

-General Rainbow flag -Bi flag -Pan flag

-Queergender flag

-Asexual flag

-Transgender flag

-Non-binary flag

-Polyamory flag

-Gay men flag

-Lesbian flag

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Well it's just an Art between actual inktober. I was stoned, and my friend suggested that drawing something could be great idea. And it was! So here it is some... weird dragon-fish or somethig and... a cat eye? I don't know I was high I believe I could work as tatttoo don't you think?

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Ah, I made portrait for my friend for his birthday. I'm super happy about how it turned out. I didn't paint for some time, and painting before I rushed it and it turned out terrible ._. I hope he'll enjoy it. Additional gift would be shoutout I guess x3 Here is his youtube channel: www.youtube.com/user/1bejeden give him some love <3

Acryl 100x70

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Chapter 1 Sadness: Disavowal

I did what I always used to do... Fake it till you make it. Repeating to myself that it was OK, vomit with my sadness to others and then putting mask on again, telling "but I did it; I'm getting better; Yea, I feel fine; It's OK now; Yea I'm over it" unluckily I was lying to myself. To others. I started partying, it was another way of running away, keeping myself distracted from void. But when I came back home I started crying. I was alone, unhappy, I have to face my biggest fear that I wanted to run away from, my entire life... loneliness. It was hard. I distracted myself from the void, meeting new people, being with other people. But the Void was there. It doesn't just disappear because you stop acknowledge it. You can forget, but the Void is there. Even subconsciously you're always trying to fill it. My parents left the void in me. And it's big. I knew that it exist. And I desperately tried everything. Lots of colleagues, I surrounded myself with meaningless connections, caring about them, just to give my void something to swallow. They didn't care about me, they left. They always left me. And I started to ask myself, maybe it's not them maybe it's me? I'm the problem, I'm the evil. That's why everybody leaves eventually. When someone finally happened that I stopped feel the void. Maybe it was in me all along, but I couldn't care less. I was finally happy. And I thought that it's gonna last. One year, happy, two years, happy, three years, happy, fourth year... Something happened. And the void returned. But wait, he help me destroy it! It was me, was it? I did something wrong again. I did everything, I started to fill void with my dignity, with my happiness, with myself. Just a little more, another part of me, soon I'll be happy again. He will fill the void again. But he didn't. He let it grow. He let it consume me and made me believe it was my fault. It was, I let that happened. I gave up on myself for being with him. Just to make him happy, maybe it was the thing that filled his void. He didn't gave himself to his void, like I did, he gave me. And he was looking for something more, for someone else, he wanted to be the cure for someone else void.

He let me be consumed, with all my little fingers, little toes, nose, eyes and every heartbeat that left.

I had to accept that It's time to fight my demons. It wasn't easy. But I wanted my life back. I wanted my strength back. I want to be happy again. If not now, then never. I decided. It's time to fight. It's time to accept that this happened, take my experience and go forward. It's my time, time to believe in myself. Time to grow.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” ~Jim Morrison

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Chapter 1 Sadness: The touch of the bottom

If you guys wonder where was I, I can calm you. I'm still alive. But i had really terrible time in my life.

Once, I found this post of facebook, with question, what would be the name of this chapter in your life? I called it "Touch of the bottom" I feel like I touch it. My life was falling apart. My boyfriend dumped me after 5 years, in which we were living together for 2. It was my biggest fear, I become so lonely... I couldn't believe it, and he dumped me for the other girl. And my paranoia was telling me that, he is gonna do that for a long time, I had terrible panic attacks that I couldn't do anything with. I went to psychiatrist, I get antidepressants... And I have to go to therapy. It was the only point that I could think of. So many nights I hurt myself, and I though I deserve it. I felt the bottom when I was really ready to go and jump under the train. But then I realized that all bad things that happened to me was because of him. I gave him everything, everything and more. He destroyed her, murder her and left without word.

The therapy was the only thing that kept me alive. Thought that I can get help, I can get better, I can change. I also get so much help from people around me. Talking, going out I'm really grateful that I surrounded myself with all that good people. I know now that I have to fight my demons. And I'm not gonna lose this fight.

If you struggle with pain, with sadness, with loss, when you don't know what to do, talk to people around you. And don't be afraid to go to the professional. Even when nobody support you. Fight for yourself for better you!

"It may have been in pieces, but I gave you the best of me" ~Jim Morrison.

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OH MY  GOOOOOOOOOOOD It was nightmare! My computer is dying and it crushed multiple times while drawing! I was saving after each little thing I did But finally! It's done! I. First panel is how Clem patched Vincent, after evil Aurelie attack him with bottle xD II. Seckond is how he was talking to EmoOliver, and proving him that life is beautiful <3 III. And the last one is sundown. Vincent love sundowns! x3 He want ti collect them as many as he can before his time pass <3 Art & Vincent by me

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Oh gods I dodn't think I'll draw Orlath so soon, and I love her muscles Orlath is the only person who is only Family for Vincent. Sad but true. And Orlath think only about Vincent as about family <3

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Well for Vincent his dreatest tresure is his sister, he wears a gemstone that she used to wear in Academy attached to medallion with the photo: fav.me/dcibzhb He always wear it hidden under jacket and shirt, just in case someone would want to rob him. And ofcours his tattoo on his right hand, its a copy of tattoo that Orlath has on her back. <3 In this pic he is reading a letter that she send him. They keep sending letters to each other for 4 or 5 years now.

I think I’m getting beter at hard light :3 

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First drawing with my new OC Vincent Devon, he is joining akademy after his siter has finished it.

I hope I’ll have a good time :D

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I wanted to draw smth really quick, so there they're it's not quite my style but i wanted to try smth new, and the quick lineart looks way better than when i draw it in my style. It was about to be 5 characters, but only 4 ppl send me their oc? If you want headshot in this style i can do it for 5$/€ I hope you like it :3 Btw I have a ko-fi page now so please check it out ko-fi.com/E1E8FN2T

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Soo, for my uni I have a task to take place we saw or painted on openair, and add there something funny :D That's why I decided to add myself as zabrak- Sith and my friend from uni as Mirialan-jedi. At this is a funny story too becasue we actualy made ourselves into this characters for other task some time ago. I hope you like it~

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Ufff It took forever to finish this! I have problems with rendering and stuff :V It was fun. Soon I’ll open commishion for pixels. Smaller ones about 100x100, bigger ones 500x500 which will only blink, and bigger ones more complicated like this one. I hope you like it

Miiko by @chinomiko