lesbiansforastarion

[lesbiansforastarion]

Exposed Back

Astarion x gnTav

Summary: A short but sweet moment where Astarion feels comfortable and safe with Tav.

“I know you don’t like your back- for obvious reasons- but it truly can’t be stated enough how beautiful you are.” The way Tav said it was borderline dreamy to his ears. The two were laying together on their bedroll with his back to them for a change as he read. They laid behind him slowly stroking the small of his back, just below his scars, admiring the elegant dip and curve of his spine. At this point it wasn’t just Tav’s tent anymore with how present Astarion always was in it, even when they weren’t there. He always tried staying in his own but he couldn’t rest when he craved the comfort of theirs.Their tent always surrounded him in a blanket of their scent that his own just lacked. Their things were just simply better than his own because of it.

He made a small hum of acknowledgement at their comment. Normally people focusing on that specific aspect of him made him uneased but they even made his back feel precious. “You can touch it, you know.”

Acting on impulse Tav gave his tush a little pinch over his trousers. They had known what he ment but they couldn’t help themself. He was too fun to tease and they felt the need to lighten the mood.

Astarion couldn’t fight the giggle he let out and playfully smacked whatever of them he could reach behind him with his book. “Not that you fool.” His wide grin could be heard in his voice. How they could turn a sleepy soft moment into such a warm humorous time he’d never know, but he hoped they’d never stop. It always made these vulnerable moments so much more comfortable. Really just having them there made being vulnerable so much more natural to him. “I meant the scar. You can get your pinches in later.”

He heard the remaining chuckles bubble from them as they calmed into the intimate moment. What he wouldn’t do to always be the reason for that sound. The soft draw of fingers slowly worked their way up from his lower back to up his spine. They’re hands gently traced the line down the center of his back. Focusing on the curve. While he was braced at first, he slowly relaxed under their repetitive motion. Their warmth melting into the cold flesh. Tav only explored further after they felt his body fully untense itself. Moving on from the delicate dip of his spine to the muscles covering his shoulder blades. Smoothing the skin with their gentle hands, massaging their warmth into his muscles. The scars were barely a thought for either of them as Astarion melted under their sickeningly sweet touch.

Tav could stay here forever watching their guarded lover grow soft in their arms. And Astarion could stay here forever, letting himself enjoy the cathartic comfort of being in his favorite person’s space, with his favorite person wrapped around him.

[lesbiansforastarion]

Wouldn't it Be Nice

Astarion x gn Tav

Summary: Astarion has sweet little day dreams about his favorite person and fantasizes about what being an old married couple might be like

Astarion wondered briefly what it was like to be human. Your life was such a flash in the pan compared to other races, really all races were compared to elves. And his even more so with his vampirism. These thoughts plagued him as he watches you sleep, an activity that he'd never truly experience. His mind may wander and daydream scenarios but never truly get the sensation of dreaming where your mind crafts the most bizarre things. 

But your life span seemed to be the thought captivating him the most once his mind wandered to it. He never understood the sight of half elves or really any evidence of elf-human relationships. Elves had always had an aloof nature to them around death, watching other species around them die off so quick was tragic but ultimately something that you’d move on from as you have so much of your own life left to live. Before you he never saw the appeal of such a long living creature choosing the shortest life to spend with, especially when you know it'll never last. Why have a life partner when you know it'll only last as long as one of your lives? But then he met you, and now he understood why elves would be so captivated by humans to begin with. You had such a bubbly spark about you that was hard to not be in awe of. You were excited about everything, you always found something new that you hadn't known or experienced before. It's like because you knew how short life was you were trying to fill it with as much as possible. Simply being near you was exhilarating enough, but to have you want him by your side for the adventure that would be your 80 something years of life, that was an honor he wouldn't know how to cherish right. There was a reason half elves tended to be half human, elves have this habit of being charmed by their quick lives. And Astarion had certainly been charmed by you. And you were certainly the most captivating person he had ever met in his over 200 years of existence. 

He wondered briefly what it would be like to grow old with you. He'd certainly watch you age as such assuming you wanted to stay with him that long. But he found himself fantasizing about living the same life span. You both sharing the same wrinkles and aches. Supporting each other through the hardships. Seeing what grandchildren would take your places next. Being buried side by side. But he knew it would end with him burying you in the end. The thought stung his mind but he tried not to dwindle on those thoughts. That was so far off into the future he shouldn't depress himself by thinking of what's to come. He should be like you and soak up as much as he can from life right now while he still can. He wondered if he was born human, would he have been filled with the same infectious aura that you spread everywhere? Or was that something special to you? Really he didn't get to know enough other humans to get a sense of whether it was a species trait or if you were just the most alluring being to ever live. At the very least he knew that Gale didn't have your spark so that was somewhat assuring to him.

Perhaps he was romanticizing you too much. But he wasn't ever a romantic until he met you. Not truly. Not in a way that wasn't scripted monotony that he had to power through. All those years of pretty words and your were the first he actually wanted to mean them.

“What are you thinking about?” You mumbled in that sleep heavy tone of yours. You always had that soft sound in your voice when drifting off or being freshly waken. Another thing about you his mind wandered to. You were curled up in the tent you two conjoined long ago on your journey. Having you in such close proximity, all your belongings mixed together, your sweet sleepy voice, all of it felt so intimate. He felt like he was playing house with you out in the wilderness. Fantasizing about what you two will be like when you're grown up.

“Nothing, mind’s just spacing.” A soft kiss to your temple lingered as his mind drifted again. “I think it'd be nice to grow old with you. Silly as the thought is.”

“Hmm” There's that dreamy little smile he loved so much. “I'd let you.”

You'd earned a chuckle at your jest. “Oh you would now? How kind of you.”

“Yes I know! I've been known to be very generous. You know, some even call me the hero of Baldur's Gate? Where'd that come from?”

“Haven't the slightest clue. Couldn't have been all those sorry sacks you've been saving on our way up here.”

“Never.” Your ability to banter with him had never failed to make him grin.

“Well would I get any special treatments being old in your care? What would be the perks of living my vampiric elder years with you be? Back rubs and spoonfed perhaps?” You'd crack a smile at the mental image of a gummy vampire.

“Oh of course. Baths to soak your old bones, trips to the park to watch the birds, if you're good I might even read to you when your glasses get too thick.” You'd been rubbing his arm to further sell your point of how nice your care of him would be.

He had a contented hmm sound at your remarks, the grin on his face was hard to contain as it cracked his face. He knew you were joking around, there would never be a future where he'd get elderly before you, but still. It all sounded so nice. Growing old and senile with you as a caregiver didn't sound half bad. That sounded like a peace that he'd been craving in his life. A normalcy that he didn't know he needed.

It was his turn to stroke the skin of your arm. “Well if you're offering, I could be persuaded to spend the rest of our lives together.”

[lesbiansforastarion]

A Silly Plan to Begin With

Astarion x gn tav

Summary: Everyone at camp rests for the night but Astarion's left to reflect on his new found affection.

Now he knows he's lost it. It was just a simple touch. Your fingers brushed the slightest bit walking during their journey that day. Nothing more than the fleeting feeling of skin on the back of his hand and now he's left lying here awake thinking about it. It was so silly, how many people had he been with? How much flesh has he felt in his 200 years in much darker ways just to have such an innocent gesture send him swooning like a damned school boy. This was not how things were supposed to go. You were supposed to be lying awake with thoughts of him. You were supposed to be swooning for him. You were supposed to be bending over backwards for him, awaiting his every command, pinning for just a hint of his approval. And here he was.

He felt like a lovesick teenager.

He felt like a dog.

He'd hated the term puppy love but what else was there to call it when he clung to your every word. When he'd follow you around mindlessly like a second shadow. When he pouted and moped at camp when you told him to stay. He did stay as you told him after all. He was no better than Scratch, except he never got the delightful petting that the damned mut did. He definitely couldn't say he was better when he decided that the best use of his time was to lay about your belongings like your scent would somehow bring you back sooner. He'd sit there and mend your clothing and tidy your space for your return, hoping somewhat wistfully that you might notice his work, maybe even praise him for his usefulness and skill. Perhaps he'd even get an enchanting smile made just for him. Maybe one of those compliments he'd been craving so much. A brush of lips. You'd might even hold his face again-

His back shot straight up from his bed roll. This had to stop. All these stupid thoughts and scenarios in his head had to stop. These were not trance thoughts, these weren't restful thoughts. These were lying awake anxiously longing thoughts. They were dangerous. He couldn't afford to get lost in such silly fantasies, that was supposed to be your job after all, not his. He was holding his face between his knees now trying to calm the phantom heart rate in his chest. His hand ruffling the hair out of his face. It should have been yours-

That thought sent him straight up, now standing completely and startled at the mere notion that he would want something so earnestly. He should leave, maybe not forever but at the very least hunt. Take his mind off of his apparent favorite companion, gain some clarity before these rising feelings decide to take hold of his mind. He was ready to stock off into the woods and murder something until he felt better but he'd noticed a dim light still in your tent, and he'd be damned if he wasn't curious. You weren't a creature of the night nor someone who could live without sleep so you being up at such an hour was odd, troubling even, if he were willing to admit to being worried for you. He found himself walking to your tent automatically without question, just the thought that he would be in your presence was enough to make him drop any violent thoughts he had about the woodland creatures.

There was a faint knock on the front post holding your tent up, not wanting to make too much noise in case you'd just forgotten to blow out a candle. But of course that wasn't the case, you were awake and fiddling with one of the many trinkets from the day's journey before you came and lifted one of the flaps to welcome him in. He already felt the tension leave him once his nose filled with your surrounding scent. He wondered if that was what made his own tent so uninviting recently, it smelled nothing like you. Save that tunic he’d found abandoned weeks ago, but the scent has faded so much after just the first night he slept with it that there was almost no point in hoarding it, except the mere embarrassment that would come with returning it.

“You okay?” Shit, they're speaking.

“Sorry, what was that darling?” Embarrassment was flooding him now even at just being caught gawking at you in your entranceway. He couldn't imagine how mortified he'd be if you ever discovered the tunic.

You gave a small chuckle and was cheery as always with your reply “Well I said ‘fancy meeting you here, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?’ and then you got all spacy on me so I asked if you were doing okay.” You tilted your head “Are you okay? You've been a little out of it since the hike this morning. Something bugging you?”

“Oh yes! I'm fine my dear. Nothing serious I assure you.” He spoke too quickly and he could barely hold eye contact with you while he fiddled with his hands. He wasn't used to feeling so nervous and insecure around people but you just seemed to bring this shyness out of him. He was definitely taking too long to answer your question for him to come across as any form of smooth or suave. “Might I- Could I- You…you know I was just wondering if…”

You moved closer and rested your hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort him a little. If he was having trouble concentrating on speech before he definitely was now that your warm flesh was touching him again. He cleared his throat, folding his arms neatly in an attempt to regain order on his person. “Well my sweet, I couldn't help but notice that you still had a light on at such a dreadful hour. Just wanted to check in on you, make sure you were doing alright or if there was a stray candle needing blowing out. That's all.”

You let out a small giggle at his clear excuse and leaned in more comfortably towards the man stood before you. “Well we all know how important fire safety is to you.” If he didn't know any better he'd say you were flirting with him now.

He'd gasped dramatically, clutching his non-existent pears “Why of course I am dear! I mean think of all the little snacks running around in the woods, positively flammable. Gods, what might Halsin say if he found out?”

You played along with his antics so well. You swooned into his arms with a distressed hand to your forehead “My goodness you're right! What ever shall I do if word were to get out?”

“He'd surely alert the grove.”

“The clerics”

“We'd never be allowed at camp again” 

“Tarnish the thought”

With each of your comments you'd both drawn impossibly closer. Leaning more and more against each other with your joking distress while you made lighthearted jabs at the druid. Just the two of you stifling laughter in each other's arms with a special warmth brewing in Astarion’s body that only you could be the cause of. He loves being like this with you. He loved the freedom he felt to be silly with you with no need for any sensual act. He loved more than anything that he could make you laugh like this. Like you've always been so comfortable with each other. It sparked hope in his heart that he knew would only add to the senseless daydreams that plagued him. If he could make you happy like this in such a fleeting moment, what would an eternity in your smile feel like? If instead of taking absolute power he chose to submit to your warmth instead. Devoting the rest of his eternity into making you as happy as someone as wretched as him could. He honestly was already confused by your fondness for him as it was but if he could, he'd love to kindle that with you. He'd never be worthy of your love but he craves to have the chance to try to prove a thousand times over that he could be deserving. Gods, he started this journey wanting you groveling at his feet in servitude and now here he was ready to do just the same, all to get you to look at him. Really it was a silly plan to begin with. Honestly, how was he supposed to not fall for you. You're you. And you're looking at him so fondly now that the laughter had died down and you're left both just holding each other with giddy smiles.

“Might I stay for a little while” he broke the comfortable silence. You were looking at him through your eyelashes, absentmindedly stroking his arm in that wondrous way you always did when trying to sooth him. He'd never asked to stay before. Even when he'd fed he'd leave after a while, trying to assure himself that it was only to let your need for him fester in his absence and surely had nothing to do with the fear that his own might if he stayed too long. But he's sure that he's beyond the point of no return now anyways. He was staying awake all night because he couldn't stop thinking of you and he'd definitely continue going restless if he didn't have you near him.

“Star, you could stay all night if you wanted” Your smile was all the reassurance he could ask for. Despite his flirty nature and affinity towards the casual pet name, something about you referring to him with one felt different. Even if it was just a little one, just a shortening of his name, it still made that bashful warmth bloom again. You were the only one that called him that as well, which made it even more special. He could almost be a little virgin with how all your innocent affection made him feel. That look in your eyes definitely wasn't helping. If you let him he would stand in that entrance forever getting lost in that loving gaze.

You seemed to come to the same realization that you two were just standing and staring in the opening of your tent. You pulled him in by the arm you were stroking earlier, giggling all the way while you pulled him down onto your bedroll. A complete disorganized mess of blankets and pillows that he couldn't care less about now that he's hearing such a happy sound from you again. He followed suit with you when he saw you getting nestled under the blankets. He squeezed in next to you and relished the warmth as he pulled you against his body. Rogue fingers finding purchase in the small of your back and another set stroking from your shoulder to your arm. This could be quite nice for eternity. You seemed to be not quite as comfortable yet as you shifted. He couldn't help his grip when it felt too closely like you were leaving. But of course you weren't. Instead you were shimmying up the pile of pillows before pulling his body over yours. Using a gentle hand to guide his head to your chest while a second stroked the skin of his back under his shirt. He moved both hands to circle tightly around your waist as you shifted the two of you. If anything this was better than before. Having such a delicate touch against him for a change was a pleasantry that had been so rare for him in his life. The small brush of fingers through his scalp, coupled with the slight circles you were drawing on his skin, he really was jealous of the dog if this is what it felt like to be petted and praised by you. 

A possessive thought crossed his mind as he inhaled your scents mixing together in your small space. Your tent and you would smell of him by morning and his being would smell of yours. Not that the wizard or the blade of frontiers would ever notice the subtle claim over you with their lackluster senses, but the druid and the githyanki would see the meaning behind your muddled scents. Maybe it’d even be enough to keep Lae’zel from enjoying your ‘musk.’  But those two were far from what he wanted his final thoughts to be before he goes into trance. That honor should only be to you and this made up happily ending he keeps longing for after all this mess is over.

His plan had definitely failed now, there's no return from his new acceptance. He still wants you to want him. He still needs you to want him, he supposed. Except now it's not for a vengeance plot, now it's for something much different. A completely new plan his mind couldn't shut up about.