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this is incredibly good

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i think its funny that after you give blood, they keep calling you every once in a while to ask if you want to give more blood 

and i get it, blood is important and in short supply, but it just seems like

hey… we heard you made more blood. can you… can you give us that new blood? that sweet sweet fresh blood? its been a while, jacob. we know you have it. we know you have the blood jacob

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the internet is for cowboys only

www. ? it stands for wild wild west

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I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

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This is a real medical condition known as Gan’s Syndrome, an ocular retinoblastoma occurring in 0.0004% of the total retinoblastoma cases. Ruptured blood vessels create often symmetrical, or at least fractal patterns and though the eye can see, visual acuity is lowered. It can be treated but never cured, though most suffering with the condition live normal lives. Gan’s Syndrome was founded by Dr. Sharon Gan.

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my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

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at least it has pockets

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also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢