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Raise your hand if you’re an orphan!

(Like half of the room raises hands)

Chelydri picks you up and pushes you into a corner, "Knock it off! They don't need to be reminded of what Robotnik took from them!"

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Quick question Chelydri: if Sonic’s the second fastest person you know, where’s Surge on the ranking?

Chelydri looked up in thought, "A while ago I would have confidently said third but after seeing the footage of her fighting Tangle and Whisper.....she got a hell of a lot faster. Sonic is still second but it's a close thing now."

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This is a cotton cookie

Whisper held the plate of cookies, "Oh it's real food. I thought it would be a knitted cookie or something-"

"Why are you wearing my clothes?"

Spinning around, Whisper saw Lanolin looking at her sternly. Before Whisper could say anything to defend herself however, Lanolin stifled a laugh and said, "Wolf in sheep's clothing I get it- Oh God Surge really has been affecting my sense of humor."

Seeing her chance, Whisper held the plate forward, "Cookie?"

Looking at her strangely, Lanolin tentatively took a cookie and bit into it. For Whisper, watching someone chew had never been more nerve-racking. Finally Lanolin said, "That was pretty good.....thank you Whisper." And then she walked off.

Whisper led out of breath she didn't know she was holding.

Baby steps, Whisper. Baby steps

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*dresses Whisper like Lanolin*

Whoever gets the joke gets a cotton cookie.

Whisper looks at you supremely unimpressed, "Wolf in sheep's clothing. Very funny. I don't think this will help me make it up to her- wait what in the world is a cotton cookie?"

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Well now I'm curious who is the fastest person Chelydri met.

Sonic threw his hands in the air, "Yeah me too! Who are they? What makes them so fast? Where are they right-

**********************************************

A pair of feet landed outside a clothing shop, 'Honey's Boutique' in large letters above it.

"This looks promising."

**********************************************

-now?"

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I SHOOT YOU WITH MY SCIENTIFIC "POWERFUL GUN THAT GIVE YOUS LUPIS" GUN!

Jerry holds up a mirror, reflecting the ray back towards you.

You now have Lupus.

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Wait Jerry, what about MagiTech?

Jerry blew a raspberry, "A bunch of baloney pushed by a cult trying to stay relevant. They have chips in their brains that allow them to control technology. No magic at all. What, does having the word 'magi' in it make it unquestionably magic?"

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Now I'm curious, what's your take on the Chaos Emeralds then Jerry? Surely your aware of those magical gems. Or if it's not magic what would you say is happening with them?

Jerry groaned in frustration, "I don't know, man! I'm not that kind of doctor! My best guess is though that they are just some kind of mix between an improbably good superconductor and non-radioactive plutonium made by some kind of hyperadvanced ancient race."

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Sonic, how often do you go to the doctors.

Answer incorrectly, and I’m getting tails, and a moose tranquilizer.

"No need for the threats, buddy. I had a check up recently," Sonic grumbled, still irritated by the memory.

*******************

Sonic bursted into the infirmary, "I'm here Jewel! What's the emergency-"

"Sorry Sonic!" Jewel yelled while flying out the door.

Raising a questioning finger, Sonic was very confused. In front of him was the diminutive mouse, Doctor Jerry, wearing a smirk. Turning around Sonic saw the massive wall of scales and muscles that was Doctor Chelydri. The old snapping turtle had a look in their eyes that screamed, 'please don't be difficult.'

Turning back towards Jerry, Sonic asked, "What's going on here?"

"You see, we may have used your name in order to get Surge to do her check up. you know, a physical and blood test, all that stuff," Jerry began.

"But then it occurred to us that we lied to a patient," Chelydri said.

Jerry clasped his hands together, "So we decided to be retroactively telling the truth. But then I hypothesized that you might have a fear of going to the doctor, seeing how you didn't come to us the last time you got injured."

Chelydri jabbed a thumb towards the doors, "So we convinced Jewel to tell you that there was an emergency going on at the infirmary and your help was needed."

"And now you're here. So tell me, was my hypothesis correct?" Jerry asked with a shit eating grin.

Sonic swiftly made his escape, or he would have, had a large scaly hand hadnt shot out and grabbed him. "Looks like you're hypothesis was correct," Chelydri said dryly, holding Sonic with one hand wrapped around his midsection.

Doing a triple take, Sonic was having trouble accepting that he was caught, "Woahwoahwoah hold on how'd you catch me?"

Chelydri gave an enigmatic grin, "You're fast, kid. But you're still only the second fastest person I've met."

This rankled at Sonics ego, "Who?"

"No one you know," Chelydri said. If Sonic wasn't bristling as hard as he was he would have caught the odd tone in their voice.

"Well who are they," Sonic said impatiently.

"Cooperate with us here and maybe I'll tell you," Chelydri offered.

"Deal," Sonic said with zero hesitation. Chelydri put him down and he zipped over onto the examination table, his curiosity overcoming his anxiety of doctors appointments.

"All right let's get started," Jerry said.

The tests went on without a hitch and Sonic privately admitted that he felt a little silly being as nervous as he was earlier.

The moment Jerry finished applying the bandage where his blood was drawn, Sonic hopped off the table and eagerly turned towards Chelydri, "So who were they? The person you said was faster than me?"

Looking him dead in the eye, Chelydri said, "I said I'd maybe tell you."

Sonic was gobsmacked by the audacity, "WHAT!?"

Jerry began cackling loudly, "HAHAHAHA Oh come on man this isn't the first time you've been bamboozled by a doctor! HAHAHAHA!"

His quills flaring up in embarrassed anger, Sonic left the infirmary at the speed of sound.

*******************

Sonic gave a heavy sigh, "I really don't have the best luck with doctors do I?"

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Question for Jerry

If you don’t believe in magic how do you explain things like the eternal fire of Solaris in Soleanne?

Moreover have you heard Sonic’s tale about when he was Camelot brought there by Merlina the court wizard?

Jerry rolled his eyes and said dismissively, "A cult taking advantage of a natural gas reservoir to trick a bunch of rubes and Sonic tripping extremely hard on psychedelics."

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I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY WIZARD!

I CURSE YOU WITH LUPUS! NOT THE WERE WOLF KIND YOU JUST HAVE A WASTING DISEASE!

The spell hits Jerry dead on but has zero effect, his sheer unbelief too strong.

"I said it once and I'll say it again, magic isn't real," Jerry deadpanned

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Question for The Metal Virus inside Surge.

Why are you so angry? Do you wanna talk about it?

"̝̣͔̝͎̎̃̈́̾̈̇̓̑́͞I͕̣͛̏ͨͦ̃ ̸̻͔͍̘͒ͨͤ̐ͬ̓̽̊W̔ͧ͐��̧͍̫̝̣͔̝͎̌̈́ͪ͌̎̃̈́̾̈̇̓̑́͞I͕̣̥̘͛̏ͨͦ̃ͭ͠L̏ͦ̀ͯͨ͋͟͏̣̪̥̘ͭ͘͠L̏ͦ̀ͯͨ͋͟͏̣̪͘ ̴͚̫̲̳͚͈̭̊̄̆̐̌͜ͅͅFͮ͗͑̈́ͦ̑͏͖̺̱̻̥̘ͭ͡͠L̏ͦ̀ͯͨ͋͟͏̣̪͘A̟̤̖̗͈̦͔̮͔̗͇̪̩̖̖͐̒̇ͩ͋̃̾̇̍̅̌͒ͬ̈́́̕͢Ỷ̢̱̭͋̌̃ͨͬ͐͟͡ ͔̗͇̪̩̖̖̍̅̌͒ͬ̈́́͢Ỷ̸̸̢̱̭̖͙͇͙͉̯̞̦͋̌̃ͨͬ͐ͥ̉͒̌͌̒͟͟͡Ọ̥ͫ̌̾̍ͨ͐ͤ̚͟ͅ͏͏̷̝̪̫̪͈͍̱̣Ū͉̭̬̩̀̒̌ͮ͐ A̟̤̖̗͈̦͔̮̥̘͐̒̇ͩ͋̃̾̇ͭ̕͠L̏ͦ̀ͯͨ͋͟͏̣̪̝̣͔̝͎̎̃̈́̾̈̇̓̑́͘͞I̡͕̣̭̳̹͚͛̏ͨͦ̃̅͂̔̓̔̍V͇̘̥͖͙̖̦͕̬͔̹̈ͩ̉͌̓E̤͙̰̖̘̣͕̰ͫͪ͢ ̸̻͔͍̘͒ͨͤ̐ͬ̓̽̊W̧͍̫̝̣͔̝͎̔ͧ͐͆̌̈́ͪ͌̎̃̈́̾̈̇̓̑́͞I̷͕̣͈͖͛̏ͨͦ̃̊͋̉̀T̉ͣ̾́̋ͩ͏̧̫̦̥͙̼̟͈̹̙͔̟̏̉̽̅͛H̬͈̩͔̜͔̝͎̩̋̂̂͂͌͝ ͔̗͇̪̩̖̖̍̅̌͒ͬ̈́́͢Ỷ̸̸̢̱̭̖͙͇͙͉̯̞̦͋̌̃ͨͬ͐ͥ̉͒̌͌̒͟͟͡Ọ̥ͫ̌̾̍ͨ͐ͤ̚͟ͅ͏͏̷̝̪̫̪͈͍̱̣Ū͉̭̬̩̀̒̌ͮ͐'͖̭̳̥̝͇͚ͬ̈͝R̈́̐̽͡͏̠̫̖̦͕̬͔̹͌̓E̤͙̰̖̘̣͕̰ͫͪ͢ ̸̸̖͙͇͙͉̯̞̦ͥ̉͒̌͌̒͟Ọ̸̥̻͔͍̘ͫ̌͒ͨͤ̐ͬ̓̽̊͟ͅW̧͍̫̰͎̰̔ͧ͐͆̌̈́ͪ͌͗ͩ̌̽̿̎̂N͚̘̖̻̓́ ̷͈͖̊͋̉̀T̉ͣ̾́̋ͩ͏̧̫̦̥͙̖̦͕̬͔̹͌̓E̤͙̰̖̘̣͕̰̖̦͕̬͔̹ͫͪ͌̓͢E̷̤͙̰̖̘̣͕̰͈͖ͫͪ̊͋̉̀͢T̉ͣ̾́̋ͩ͏̧̫̦̥͙̼̟͈̹̙͔̟̏̉̽̅͛H̬͈̩͔̜͔̝͎̩̋̂̂͂͌͝!!!"

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Qun for the restoration members:

You need to send a single member to resolve a situation with a dance off. They can’t be your best dancer, but they need to be good enough to win. Who are you sending?

"Get enough whiskey in me and I can pull it off easily," Lanolin said with embarrassed confidence.

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Some of these early anthropological theories on islanders are absurd. Baby eating hedgehogs, blind bats, laughing hyenas, crazy shit. Armchair anthropology at its strangest.

Lanolin laughed and said, "Honestly yeah I found them absurd too at first but then I kinda put myself on their shoes and realized they were just using what they knew about the animals that are based off us and applying them to us."

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Lanolin, whats your preferred brand of smoke bombs?

"The kind that gets me out of awkward situations the fastest."

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Package for Lanolin

It's a Surge plush!

"No one can know about this," she said as she fell asleep holding it.

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*hands Kit a handheld flamethrower meant for clearing weeds*

Go, lil man. Do a crime.

Instead, Kit finds a more practical use of it. Though to be honest he is still a little nervous about it, "Are you sure this won't hurt you?" Kit asked.

Blaze nodded, touched that he was so concerned for her safety, "I promise you I am completely invulnerable to fire. I said I would help you test create your weapon that you are making and I always keep my word."