laufeytodd-blog
laufeytodd-blog
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Incorrect Young Justice Quotes Part 1
Tags: @incorrectyjquotes ~
Jaime: Garfield hasn’t left his room in three days, is he okay?
Tim: Clayface asked him on our last mission if he was just utilizing his fursona as a superhero identity.
Jaime: …
Tim: So no, I don’t think he’s okay.
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Cassie, a millennial, with a full knowledge of current memes: I don’t know man, those laundry pods sure look juicy.  
Bart, from the future, takes everything literally: Hmm, they sure do.
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Batman: Barry, you need to speak to Wally. He’s not talking, he said he’s communicating through ‘interpretive dabbing’.
Barry: Wally, is this true?
Wally: *dabs shamefully*
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M’gann: Tim, it’s been about three months since you’ve eaten a vegetable. You can’t just survive on coffee.
Tim, looking her straight in the eye with a cold caffeinated glare: *slurp*
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Conner: Hey guys! Isn’t it such a beautiful day today!
Wally: wtf man are you okay??
Conner: Can’t I just be happy? :)
Kaldur: Lagoon Boy was removed from the team for not following orders.
Wally: Oh, thank the heavens!
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Dick: It’s so hard to be this pretty.
Zatanna: I know right!
Dick: No… you don’t.
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Artemis: I hate everything and I hate everybody.
Zatanna: *walks in*
Artemis: Isn’t life just so amazing? Just full of wonder and filled with beauty.
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Jaime: Bart, I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. You’ve made my life so much happier. Happy one year anniversary!
Bart, sleep deprived, whispering: that’s gay
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Dick, after finding out Billy Batson’s secret identity: O-oh no. Does Batman know about this?
Billy: Yeah, wh-
Dick: Red Robin, initiate plan orphan.
Billy: Plan what?!
Tim: Hurry! I can see him coming!
Billy: I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.
Dick: Listen, I already have THREE little brothers, a little sister, and a pet cow. The LAST thing I need is for ANOTHER child to come live with us. YOU’RE. COMING. WITH. ME.
Billy: …
Tim: …
Dick: No offense, Tim.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Stephanie Brown by Paolo Rivera
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Gwen Stacy and Stephanie Brown are probably one of the best crossover friendships, and there’s no way to deny that
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Diana Prince: The rest of the League and I are going to Chicago this weekend and want to know if you could take care of our sidekicks.
Bruce Wayne: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s a big responsibility. What do I know about children?
Dick Grayson (as Robin): I’m about to take off. Have you seen my backpack?
Bruce Wayne: [hands Dick Grayson his backpack] I swear you’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on. [to Diana Prince] I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a child. [to Dick Grayson] Where is your jacket? It’s very cold outside.
Dick Grayson: Forgot.
Bruce Wayne: Here, take mine. [to Diana Prince] Kids are a lot of work.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
Conversation
Barbara: Dick has a thing for redheads. Literally every one of his exes have long red hair.
Wally: My hair isn’t long.
Barbara: Yeah.
Barbara: Wait whAT
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
Conversation
Conner Kent: This is my year.
La’gaan: This is my year too.
Conner Kent: Please don’t align yourself with me.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
Conversation
Garfield Logan: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.
Karen Beecher: Gar, no.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Dads Tony with kids :3
Do not repost. | Instagram | Twitter
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Hey guys! I need some more blogs to follow so repost this if you post things about comics/movies/tv (preferably about DC and it’s not limited to Batman stuff!). I like looking at informational stuff but also just whatever!!!! Hook me up
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Tim, meeting M’gann: So.. let me get this straight. You can shape shift into any outfit you want?
M’gann: Yes
Tim: And you chose that?
M’gann: Yes
Tim: Oh! That’s cool!
Tim, walking away: That is the most hideous color combination. White shirt, with red strips? Should’ve picked black. But then again, that wouldn’t have done much against that awful shade of blue.
[bruce: this is my new robin, he’s joining the team] [dinah: aw he’s so small, are you sure he can handle it?] [tim: well you sure aren’t able to handle those fishnets but i see you’re wearing them anyways :)] [tim: wAit fUck *slaps hand over mouth*]
tim: i love your suit, where’d you get it!!!
cassie: oh it was the wonder girl’s before me!!
tim: vintage, how adorable!
[after cassie walks away] tim: that is the ugliest effing suit i’ve ever seen
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Fine, but I won’t enjoy it
Summary: The Batfamily goes to the mall. Word Count: 2817
Let me know if any of you would like to be on my tagged list! ~
Going to the mall was never a spontaneous decision in the Wayne household. Any family endeavor took at least two weeks of preparation, including forcing nagging each family member to attend. As soon as the suggestion was brought up, each child had some form of complaint or excuse to say why they were not going.
Damian, at first, insisted he needed to stay home and take care of his pets. His excuses were quickly shut down by Bruce who pointed out that Titus and the rest of his animals stay by themselves all the time. Though Damian persisted, his father knew better than to believe his pets could not be left alone for a few hours.
Jason was the next one to protest. Although internally he longed to be loved and accepted by his family, externally he believed he had a reputation to keep up. It was Alfred who saw through his act and told him that his attendance in family gatherings was mandatory, whether he liked it or not.
“Fine,” Jason groaned, “But I won’t enjoy it.”
Alfred didn’t believe that for a second.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Tim was very eager to go to the mall with his family. He immediately consulted with Stephanie and Dick in organizing a plan so that at least one of each family member could visit every store. Cassandra agreed that this was a great idea, and would make it easier for everyone to collectively buy items for each other.
As a new member to the Wayne family, Duke didn’t think it was necessary for him to go.
“I can just stay here with Alfred. I won’t make too much noise or interrupt him.”
“What are you talking about?” Dick asked, thoroughly confused as to why Duke seemed to feel excluded. “You’re coming with us,” He said with a laugh, “This is a family trip and you’re part of this family now.”
Duke smiled, “Thanks, man.”
~
After days of planning, the day finally arrived. Bruce had left Kate and Barbara in charge of Gotham in case of an emergency. They had only planned to be gone for a few hours, but he wanted to be safe.
“Water, check. Packed lunches, check. Blankets,” Steph looked up from her checklist as her eyes scanned the inside of the trunk, “check.”
“Is that necessary?” Jason asken with his eyebrow raised.
“Of course! Unless you feel like turning back if we forget anything.”
Damian huffed, “Tt, that’s not such a bad idea.”
“Come on, Damian!” Dick said as he stuffed a large bag in the trunk, “we haven’t even left yet and you’re already complaining.”
“Tt,” He responded while narrowing his eyes.
Bruce stepped out of the Manor with Duke behind him.
“Is that everything?” Bruce asked with mock amusement as he looked at the multitude of bags in the back of the minivan he rented, “We’re only going to be gone for a couple of hours.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the one who told us to be prepared,” Tim said as he climbed into the minivan.
Duke smiled, “You did say that.”
Bruce shook his head as he watched his children climb into the minivan. He turned to Alfred as he approached him, “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”
“I’m getting old Master Bruce, I don’t have the energy to keep all of your children in line.” He smiled up at the younger man, “Take the time to be their father, I won’t always be here to do it for you.”
“Alfred-”
“Have a good time, Master Bruce,” He called out as he turned and made his way back into the Manor.
Bruce stood watching him as he returned into the house with a sad look on his face. He turned his gaze to the minivan with his children inside. He wanted to thank Alfred, without him he would have never become half the man he was. He could never find the words to do so, he was in denial. The more he put it off, the less he had to think about how old Alfred was getting. Bruce couldn’t deal with the thought of losing another father.
He exhaled sharply as he grabbed his keys out of his pocket. Bruce gave one last glance toward the Manor before making his way over to the car. He took a deep breath as he sat in the driver’s seat before turning around, “Is everyone ready to leave?”
A chorus of agreement came from the back seats.
“Alright then, let’s go.” He stuck the key in the ignition and started up the vehicle.
“Wait!!” Stephanie cried out just as they were pulling out of the driveway. She swung the van door open and sprinted back inside the Manor, returning a few minutes later with a chord in her hand.
She took a moment steady her heavy rapid breathing, “I almost forgot the aux.”
~
“Are we there yet?” Cassandra asked, speaking for the first time since that morning.
“Almost,” Bruce said as he glanced down at the navigation on his phone, “We have another thirty minutes.”
Dick groaned from the back seat, “Why is it so far away?”
“Because we don’t have any malls in Gotham, genius.” Jason remarked sarcastically.
“Brucceee,” Dick whined, “Jason is being mean to me.”
“What are you, six?” Tim grunted as he tried to pull his earbuds from one of the bags in the back.
Bruce took a deep breathe, feeling the start of what may have been a terrible migraine. “Richard, stop it.”
“Yeah, Richard,” Jason smirked in triumph at his older brother.
Damian stepped in to defend his older brother, “Tt, Todd stop antagonizing him.”
“He’s the one wh-”
“Jason, Damian, stop it!” Bruce raised his voice at the both of them, “We are going to have a decent car trip without any of you fighting with each other.” He eyed each of his kids with a stern look through the rearview mirror, “That goes for the rest of you as well.”
“Sorry, Father.” Damian said quietly.
~
The rest of the car ride went relatively smoothly with only the occasional snide remark, until it was time to find a parking space.
“This parking lot is more crowded than Arkham Asylum,” Duke remarked in amazement.
“Yeah, well,” Jason countered, “With all the escapees, Arkham has more free space than you may think.”
“How would you know?” Cassandra questioned.
Dick chimed in before the conversation could continue, “Guys, let’s not talk about the ‘business’ while we’re in publ- OH COME ON!!” Dick shouted mid-sentence, “That parking space was CLEARLY ours.”
“Tt, Grayson it is just a parking spa-”
“It’s not JUST a parking space, Damian. This is about the other guy being a dickhead,” Tim added quickly.
“Woah, Timothy,” Steph scolded, “Language!”
“Tt,” Damian scoffed, “You’re one to talk, Brown.”
“Remember, we do not want to draw attention to ourselves, brothers.” Cass remarked as she gave a pointed look at Damian.
“THERE,” Tim shouted cutting his sister off, “THERE’S A PARKING SPACE RIGHT THERE!”
“I see it, Tim,” Bruce said clearly annoyed, “You don’t have to scream in my ear.”
“Sorry,” Tim whispered as they pulled into the parking space.
Stephanie was the first to jump out of the minivan, climbing over everyone else to make it to the door.
Dick went to open the trunk of the minivan as the rest of the group started toward the front entrance.
“Wait,” Dick called out as his family walked towards the mall, “What about all the stuff?”
Tim cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled back at him, “We don’t need it!”
Dick turned to look at the packed trunk. He sighed at his family’s antics before closing it. “Wait up guys!”
~
“Alright, guys,” Stephanie said as she looked at her checklist, “Here’s the plan.”
Jason scoffed, “Did you really bring that in with you?”
“Yes, Jason,” she said abruptly. “Now, as I was saying-”
“Is that really necessary, Stephanie?” Bruce cut off.
“Are you really necessary?” she shot back.
“Tt, don’t speak to father that way!” Damian yelled, causing multiple heads to turn in their direction
“Oh, he is not my father!” Stephanie shouted as she stepped toward Damian.
“Don’t draw attention to us,” Cassandra quietly but sternly reminded.
“Anyway!” Dick cut in before the argument could continue further. “Here is the plan,” He stated as he snatched the clipboard from Stephanie.
“Hey! Give me that!”
“Can we just have a nice outing for once?” Tim asked, clearly irritated.
Bruce nodded, he was starting to feel that migraine once again. “Richard, what does it say?”
“Okay, so,” Dick started, “We have been paired off into groups to make shopping easier and faster.”
“Who is in the groups?” Jason questioned.
“I’m getting to that, Jason.” Dick answered, his patience diminishing by the second. “If there aren’t anymore interruptions,” He looked around at the group, “Good.”
Dick raised his eyebrow as he stared at list before continuing. “Okay so we have Bruce and Duke hitting the novelty stores,” he said while pointing his finger at both of them.
“Sweet,” Duke exclaimed, hoping the outing would be an opportunity to get to know his new father.
Bruce half smiled in Duke’s direction before motioning for Dick to continue.
“Steph and I,” Dick said pointing to her and himself, “will be shopping for clothes and in the stores where they sell those scented soaps and lotions.” He looked up and Stephanie with a confused look, “Wait, why me?”
“Because you have good taste,” She smiled at him.
Tim didn’t buy that for a second. “Um, I happen to recall a disco outfit a few years back that doesn’t agree with that statement.”
“It was high fashion at the time, Tim.” Dick said defending his outfit.
“No, it wasn’t,” Jason interrupted, “it was embarrassing.”
“To you, maybe. Anyway!” Dick continued, “Tim is in charge of checking out all the electronic stores.”
“Timothy,” Bruce gave a stern look in the boy’s direction, “You are not allowed to hack into their systems.”
“That was one time!” Tim exclaimed, although he knew there had definitely been more than one occasion.
“No, it wasn’t.” Bruce said, recalling multiple shops that Tim and Barbara were now banned from.
“Jason,” Dick interrupted, “will check out the bookstores.”
“Wow, Steph, you finally made a good decision for once.” Jason stated in mock amazement.
“As much as I appreciate your sarcasm,” She answered as she rolled her eyes, “that was Cassandra’s idea, actually.”
Cass smiled up at her brother, “Now you can buy books I understand.”
Having spent most of her childhood training to become a human weapon hindered Cassandra from many common activities. When she first came to live with the Waynes, she was unable to write, read, and hardly able to speak. Her new family was very patient and offered to teach her these things, but they did not have books that fit her reading level.
“Of course, Cassie,” Jason smiled at her.
“However,” Dick cleared his throat, “Jason and Tim will then meet up to check out the ‘edgy emo stores’.” He smiled at Stephanie, “Really, ‘edgy emo stores’?”
“Okay, first of all,” Jason started, “unlike Timmy over here,” he pointed his thumb at Tim, “I am neither ‘edgy’ or ‘emo’.”
Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Sure, mister ‘gunpowder and cigarettes’.”
Tim frowned, Jason promised him he’d quit smoking months ago.
“Come on, Jason,” Tim looked up, “Spencer's has some cool items. You would like it.”
“Fine,” He agreed, “But only if I can buy a hat that says ‘Fuck Off’.”
Bruce shook his head in disapproval but decided against saying anything.
“And finally,” Dick announced, “Damian and Cass will be in charge of the toy stores, including the Disney one.”
“Tt, those stores are for children.” Damian remarked. He had a reputation to keep up, one that did not involve the Disney store.
“You are a child, Damian.” Dick laughed, “Plus, if you finish early you, along with supervision,” he pointed to Cassandra, “can visit the pet store.”
Bruce feared the devilish smirk that instantly made its way to Damian’s face.
“You are not allowed to buy anything without my approval first,” He said to Cass, “but you are allowed to pet the animals, if the clerks let you. Do I make myself clear?”
Cassandra nodded her head then looked to Damian.
“Yes, Father,” he agreed begrudgingly.
Bruce checked the time on his watch. “It is currently 11:36. We’ll meet up for a late-lunch break between 2- 2:30 then continue shopping. The mall closes at 9 so I want all of us to meet at the front entrance by 8:45 the latest.”
“What about snacks and dinner?” Stephanie asked.
“Each of you can buy snacks from the kiosks here,” Bruce responded. “And we will stop somewhere for dinner on the way home.”
“Okay, great! That should be all.” Dick finished as he turned to speak to Stephanie.
“Wait,” Duke stopped them as they turned to leave, “where are we getting the money from?”
A mischievous smile made its way to Tim’s face, “Our dearest padre has agreed to give each group, or in mine and Jason’s case, each of us a credit card, with no limit.”
“There is a limit.” Bruce stated quickly.
Jason saw right through his lie, “No, there isn’t.” He smirked, “You answered too quickly.”
In that moment, Bruce regretted training his children to read lies. “I hope I can trust you to make reasonable purchases.”
Dick and Stephanie shared a look.
“Sure, Bruce,” Dick responded, “you can always trust us.”
Bruce was not at all certain he could.
~
The ride back home was a lot more quiet than the rest of the day had been.
In the far back seat, Dick was being cuddled by both Tim and Damian, nestled into his sides. All three of them were asleep, with one the blankets they had brought wrapped around them.
In the next row, Jason had fallen asleep with an unfinished book in his lap, leaning against Cassandra’s shoulder. Stephanie’s head lay in Cassandra’s lap, having also fallen asleep a while ago. Whether Cass was awake or not, Bruce was unable to tell. She sat quietly with her eyes closed, but Bruce suspected she may have been resting while keeping her senses on high alert.
In the passenger seat sat Duke, snuggled into another blanket. He had been the last to fall asleep, insisting he wasn’t tired.
Bruce smiled to himself, it was rare for anyone in the vigilante business to peaceful sleep without being plagued by nightmares. He hoped this meant that they were growing to trust each other. Maybe not as a family yet, but one day he hoped that they could be.
Having been lost in thought, Bruce hardly realized he had already pulled into the Manor driveway.
“Is everything okay, Master Bruce?” Alfred asked through the open window of the vehicle.
“Yeah, I was just thinking.” Bruce turned to look at the older man, “Alfred, you didn’t have to stay up to wait for us.”
“I wanted to ensure of your safe return, Sir.” He replied. “Do you need me to bring everyone to their beds?”
“No, that’s okay.” Bruce said as he stepped out of the minivan. “Do you think it would be safe to leave them out here for the night?”
Alfred knew why he was asking. He knew how rare it was for any of them to sleep peacefully.
He smiled, “I think it would be okay for one night, Sir.”
Bruce nodded and started toward the Manor entrance as Alfred trailed behind him. He started to make his way up the stairs to his bed.
“You have done a good job, Master Bruce.” Alfred called out to him.
Bruce stopped for a moment before turning to face the older man.
“I have a good example to follow,” Bruce smiled and made his way back over to where Alfred stood.
“Thank you, Alfred. Thank you for making me the man I am today.”
Alfred rested his hand on Bruce’s shoulder, “It was my pleasure, Master Bruce.”
Bruce froze in his place, there were so many things he wanted to say. His gaze fell to the floor as he tried to find the words to do so, to tell Alfred how much he meant to him before it was too late.
His silence spoke volumes, it told Alfred everything he needed to know. He had always treated Bruce as a son, and he knew Bruce thought of him as a father figure. A sad smile came to his face, he wished he had done more.
“Goodnight, Sir.” He said, removing his hand from Bruce’s shoulder before making his way to his living quarters.
“Goodnight.” Bruce looked down, his voice dropping to barely a whisper, lost forever in the emptiness of the large foyer.
“Goodnight, dad.”
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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[Infinity War]
Thor: So, yeah, Loki’s good now.
Bruce: He tried to kill me!
Thor: Me too, bitch, you ain’t special.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Duke Thomas: Jason, is this about the sandwich? Let it go. You probably just ate the damn sandwich yourself and forgot about it.
Jason Todd: So my sandwich is forgettable? Listen, I make my own garlic and green onion cream cheese spread. That’s forgettable?
[later]
Duke Thomas: I ate the damn sandwich. I ate the damn sandwich for sure. The boy can cook. He can throw down. If he wasn’t gonna beat my ass, I’d go thank him.
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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“One of the reasons I was able to come back from the darkness? Him. Roy Harper.“ 
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laufeytodd-blog · 8 years ago
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Tim is a bad bitch you can’t stop him
Tim likes to be tall so he bought himself some heels. However, being the dramatic little shit that he is, he wears the tallest and sparkliest stilettos he can find. No one knows where he gets them from, although Bruce suspects they may be Steph’s doing. He looks ridiculous; Versace tuxedo and hot pink heels, red Gucci sweaters and disco themed wedges, Italian leather jackets and never before seen light-up stilettos. He loves them, in all their horrific glory.
Duude okay the first pair definitely was a pair of hot pink stripper heels that Steph just happened to have lying around (I feel like she keeps a good pair around for clubbing but also on the off chance that a batboy loses a bet so she has a punishment laying around)
However, Bruce tried to stop this whole thing because no way is his [adopted] son going to be walking around like that.
So from then on all of his shoes are Louboutin and Bruce can’t say shit because everyone loves a good designer heel.
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