kougetsuin

[kougetsuin]

nobuverse​:

If there’s one inconvenience about manifesting as her younger self - it’s that everything is always so much taller than she she is! Chacha didn’t really understand why it was that her mortal self had insisted on returning to this form - honestly! Most stuff was too fuzzy to make out, and it gave her a headache to think about it too much.

But at least Uta is such a nice lady! It’s much better talking to someone without having to look up and make her neck hurt. It almost makes her want to run up and give her a hug…oh no, no! But she can’t give affection that easily….otherwise she wouldn’t be as valuable, right?

“R-really?!” 

Despite Chacha’s history of getting most everything she wanted, it feels …surprising to here that from someone. Aside from little Okita, most of the adults never had any time to do ‘kid stuff’ with her. 

“Okie! That sounds great to Chacha! Then we should get extra helpings of  Daifuku for Jack and Nursery Rhyme too! Oh, oh! And an extra big helping for Paul Bunyan! They’ll be super impressed at the next tea party!” 

  “ Yes, really, Chacha-sama. ”

  Uta doesn’t quite allow herself to release the giggle that’s bubbling up in her thrown. She smiles at the younger girl’s reaction, though. It’s no issue to her at all to engage with the child Servants and indulge their behaviors and habits to a certain degree. There was no reason to act so withdrawn with them. They were all existing in this space together, after all, so as long as she had the time available to her then she’d entertain them until they were satisfied. 

  At the mention of sweets, even she can’t hide her own excitement of that. With no one here to explicitly enact any supervision on her, she could finally partake in as many sweet treats as she wanted like a kid herself. 

  “ Chacha-sama gets along well with the other children of Chaldea. Chacha-sama is also a kind girl so she gets them the things they like the most for your tea party. ”

  It’s meant to be praise, not a hidden insult. 

  “ What would you like to draw with me, Chacha-sama ? You will have to forgive me if my drawings are poor. I have never been particularly good at drawing. I am sure whatever Chacha-sama makes will be good, though. ”

[kougetsuin]

 ...

 !!!

[kougetsuin]

uta @ hideyoshi after finding out he made chacha his concubine:

[kougetsuin]

  “ I am wondering ... Is there a limit to how many rooms we can use to house Servants here ? Moreover, we seem to have alternative forms for certain individuals in the same place. Mm, the situation is confusing. ”

[kougetsuin]

@tragedestined​​ asked: ❝ I’ve loved many boys and girls. ❞ (Kiyomasa)

  How does one properly love ‘ many ’ people ? Uta comprehends that her vision of love is intense, bordering on something unsettling at times. Love isn’t lighthearted to her. So, the conclusion her mind forms is that it is impossible for him to have loved all of them. Why, if someone sincerely loves someone, they’d want to have everything, right ? Their love, their gaze, their heart, their being. 

  A frown slowly slips onto her face. She thinks she can compromise and believe it’s possible to love more than once in a lifetime but ‘ many boys and girls ’ ? He’s already admitted to it, so it’s not as if it’s polite to hold back some kind of comment on it. Silence would be more unnerving. 

  “ Did you ... truly love them ? ” It comes out more accusatory than anything. And maybe somewhere deep down she is accusing him. Of what ? Of treating love - her most treasured fantasy of all - like something so lighthearted, so inconsequential. 

  “ No, it is my mistake, ” she says, an apologetic, tight smile appearing on her lips. “ All people have different ways of love, is that not so ? It was rude of me to overlay my perspective onto you. ”

  The mood is forcefully shifted into one akin to playful and ordinary. It’s better suited to the kind of conversation they should be having.

  “ But I suppose it makes sense for you to have lots of suitors, Kiyomasa-sama, given your personality and talents. ” 

  She’s almost tempted to ask him if he remembers some better than others, unlike her, who can barely recall their outlines. Uta is equally as tempted to ask if there is someone he likes now, wishing to engage in the sort of friendly gossip that companions do, but restrains the words. Oh, but love. Love makes her momentarily lose herself, eyes glazing over in secretive daydreams.

  “ You are lucky, then, to love and have been loved. It must be pleasant. For me -- ” And then, the faintest shift in her eyes takes place again. There’s an ominous haze that overtakes crimson, resembling a twisted form of elation she possessed unknown to anyone else ( besides him now ). “ I suppose it is similar to the way you want to eat after being hungry for a long time. Yes, something like that kind of hunger ... ”

  Just as swiftly, all traces of whatever that was disappear, replaced by the usual demeanor. She accompanies the shift with a nervous giggle. 

  “ D-Do not look at me oddly. I admit I am not good with words concerning this sometimes. So, I apologize if something came out sounding strange. ”

  But that was probably the most truthful she’s ever been in front of Kiyomasa.

[kougetsuin]

when oscar wilde said "i'm tired of myself tonight, i should like to be someone else' and when sylvia plath said ''i wish i knew what to do with my life, what to do with my heart" and when rilke said "this heavy humanness" .

[kougetsuin]

  hey everyone !! this is a new, heavily headcanon-based fgo oc based on kichō / nō-hime !! if you’re interested please like or reblog and i’ll check you out !!

[kougetsuin]

teacher: nice art project what is it supposed to be? me: its a cry for help

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i am like ...... half a bio and a personality section away from kicho’s blog being done oh my god !!!!!!

[kougetsuin]

it’s my birth today

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nobuverse​:

Wanna go out for ice cream bestie

  le gasp. of course bestie <3

[kougetsuin]

me holding a sign over servant!uta’s head that says “pls adopt”

[kougetsuin]

Daisenji Temple. Photo by criss1016

[kougetsuin]

😌.

[kougetsuin]

[kougetsuin]

  um. we.