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The Mad Ravings of the Joker Part II

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Batman nor Joker, all characters mentioned are the property of D.C. Comics. Also I DID NOT take this line for line from the comics nor animated film. This is a completely different monologue, though there are some similarities. This is purely fan made for entertainment. Hope you enjoy.

Have you ever felt it Doc? That stiff, uneasy feeling you get when something's bothering you. It's stifling and suffocating and the more you try to ignore it the more it claws away at your insides! And I'll let you in on a little secret...you already know what's bothering you, but you have no idea how to make it stop! For nights you toss and turn, twist and shout with the memories of your discomfort rattling in your skull. You try your hardest but you can't stop thinking about, the death of your loved one, or the girl who was stolen from you, or even if you should've ordered the lobster last night! All those thoughts like thunderbolts striking at your brain, piercing through your skull, it's so unbearable!! And that's when it finally happens, your first step into a whole new world coupled with a brand new lease on life! Now I know what your thinking. "What, pray tell caused this new outlook on the world?" Well my dear, I'll tell you. (Beckons you to lean in close, looks around a whispers) It was....complete and utter madness!! Ah, ho, ho, hooooo! Madness my darling! Beautiful madness! Complete insanity! When the world comes crashing down around you, what are you gonna do? Stand around and wait to get crushed or find a way to save your sorry ass? The answer is neither! You get the heck out of there and lose your frickin' marbles! Ah, ha ha, haaaaaaa! Juggle balls in traffic, ride a unicycle down the freeway, sing showtunes to a bunch of babies in a nursery. Who cares? No one! That's who! That's one of the perks about being insane you just. stop. caring. Ah! Ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!! And don't think of it as an easy way out, think of it as being the only way out. Wanna escape all the pain and suffering of the world? Here's your ticket. But I warn you, once you get on there's no going back, ah, ha, ha, haaaa. It's scary isn't it? Knowing that at any moment of any day something could knock you right off your rocker, and send you straight over the edge of sanity never to return, then you'll get to experience life as I do and I assure you, it's a real hoot! (Door swings open and orderlies come to take Joker away) But in other news, I guess that's all I have to say for now. Can't have you diving to deep into my mind, it can be a real scary place. So until next time. Ta, ta, for now doc! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! AH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAA!

The Mad Ravings of The Joker

Part 2

Written by Keyshawn Browne

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The Mad Ravings of The Joker Part I

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Batman nor Joker, all characters mentioned are the property of D.C. Comics. Also I DID NOT take this line for line from the comics nor animated film. This is a completely different monologue, though there are some similarities. This is purely fan made for entertainment. Hope you enjoy.

Y'know it's ok to be angry over the small things. Yes, I know people have been through worse things losing parents and other family members, domestic abuse, poverty, and other worldly problems. Now those people have a right to be angry, or sad. Hell! They're entitled to feel all the emotions in the book after going through all that crap, and this is going to sound cliché but at the same time life is too short to not express who you are and how you feel. You could wake up one morning the sun is shining, there's a spring in your step, and everything's right with the world. You head outside to take in the day and...BAM! A bullet drills through your skull or a truck mows you down flat as a pancake, either way you've just taken the last breathe you'll ever take, and you never even saw it coming. Of course people will grieve, people will mourn and cry and all that, but in the end the days will pass and life will go on as it always does. Yes it's the bitter cruel joke the world has in store for us and the sick part is we don't get the punchline till' we're all 6 feet under! Do you understand now kiddies? Rich or poor, scholar or lunatic we're all gonna end up as worm chow. But that's why there's no point in holding back how you feel! Feelin' happy? Stop and smell the roses! Feelin' sad and under the weather? Find a shoulder to cry on, as long as it ain't mine kay? (Winks) Angry? Throw a tantrum, stomp your feet, punch a bat in the face! It always works for me heh, heh, heeeh. And best of all, if your feeling that good ol' jolly Joker jive! Nothing beats blowing up a few buildings, or squirting a little acid in someone's face! C'mon kiddies! Shout it to the rooftops with me! Express yourself! Ah ha ha haaaaa! But remember, there's only so much crap you can take! Until eventually, all you can do..is laugh. But! That's a story for another day. So until next time kiddies. Be good! Stay in school! Don't talk to any bat freaks! And above all else...smile. Hm, hm, hm, heh, heh, heh, heh. Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! AAAHH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAA! The Mad Ravings of The Joker Part 1 Written by Keyshawn Browne

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One Bad Day

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Batman nor Joker, all characters mentioned are the property of D.C. Comics. Also I DID NOT take this line for line from the comics nor animated film. This is a completely different monologue, though there are some similarities. This is purely fan made for entertainment. Hope you enjoy.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to make someone laugh? To get a little chuckle or even a smile out of a crowd of stern faces? First you gotta set up the joke, then you gotta ease em’ in, and then right when they least expect it..BAM! You hit em with the punchline! It may sound easy but believe me sweety, it ain’t. It’s almost enough to drive someone over the edge of sanity. Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, ha haaaa….oh sure you might practice it with a few friends, try it out on that sweet dame ya like, but when the time comes to tell it to the whole world…..you realize that your the only one who’s laughing. That! My delightful doctor is when you learn the very painful truth about comedy, see the downside of comedy is that your always taking shots from people who just don’t get the joke. There’s always critics who believe they could tell a better joke in their sleep. Ha! I’d love to see ‘em try. Y'know everyone tends to think I’m a madman, but all I’ve ever wanted to do was make people laugh. Sure not everyone understood my brand of humor, and some of my jokes may have resulted in a few casualties. But I assure you it was all in good fun. Ah, ha, ha haaaa… But now that I think about it what really makes a madman anyway? His hobbies? His body count? The way he dresses? Nope! (Holds up one finger) It’s this! One. Bad. Day. That’s all it takes! Just one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am, just one. Bad. Day. It doesn’t even have to be tragic! No one has to die, no one’s heart has to be broken, it just has to be enough to break your mental grip on reality and make the shattered pieces of your mind knock against the walls of your own emptines. I know because something like that…..something like that happened to me…..But it isn’t all bad! I mean look at me ah, ho ho hooo! Sure I’m not the best looking, or the “hippest” or “downest” if that’s what the kids are saying these days. But I’ve still got my still got my sense of humor, and I wanna share that humor with all of Gotham but a certain pointy eared bat freak keeps getting in my way! But now that I think about, the jokes wouldn’t be as funny without my little bat critic taking a few shots at me, now would they? Let’s me know I need to sharpen my material for the next encounter ha, haaaaaaa! But anywhooo, thanks for listening doc! Hmmmm, Harleen Quinzel huh? Y'know if you shorten that you get Harley Quinn! That! My dear is a name that puts a smile on my face, wouldn’t you agree? Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Heh, ha ha, ha, ha! AH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Imaginative monologue from Joker to Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn)

Written by Keyshawn Browne