keithsgolfclubs

[keithsgolfclubs]

-*sobbing*-

Keithhhhh!! Come back to me!!

Well, with Keith gone now, I have to find another way of getting the dirty work done.

*starts plotting*

[keithsgolfclubs]

if it was yellow… she’d be kissing Mac’ N Cheese- Which would make the color green…

And if it was green, it’d make cyan or teal..

But she’s probably kissing all three, so that’s like a black- like that stupid twink in a trench coat.

Why do you like purple

why wouldn't i- its like the prettiest color in earth-

[keithsgolfclubs]

it’s the color of your sister and the girl she kisses-

And they are both pretty, so that answer makes sense..

Why do you like purple

why wouldn't i- its like the prettiest color in earth-

[keithsgolfclubs]

probably depressed

-depressed golf club noises-

why did you kill keith my husband is probably depressed now 💔

I didn’t kill him?

You should go back to watching Chandler and Duke make out instead of bothering me with this stupid rumour.

[keithsgolfclubs]

Chandler probably paid off the paramedics to keep you at bay whilst her grip on the school was totally like falling this past week… Sorry Courtney.

That little freak Hannah was after him too, I hope he didn’t like go off the wall or something and run away… The last I heard of him at the house sounded pretty violent..

Courtney did Keith do something bad to you and you totally had to like murder him or something? It’s been like a week, and he’s like, radio silent..

[ @keithsgolfclubs ]

What??????

[keithsgolfclubs]

-sobbing- my father is dead, and you’re being gay right now?! And I hear about it from a freshman!

…twinkle..toes?..the fuck does that even mean-

Do you want to come to Keith’s funeral at my place? We have nachos and chocolate cupcakes also uh sorry for your loss.

@unnamed-freshmen-official

[keithsgolfclubs]

Are you not aware that your like, boy toy thing is missing??

He like literally hasn’t been in school, or the golf course! I’m really worried, I think someone so totally did something bad to him-

Courtney did Keith do something bad to you and you totally had to like murder him or something? It’s been like a week, and he’s like, radio silent..

[ @keithsgolfclubs ]

What??????

[keithsgolfclubs]

H-hes what?! The little twink is dead??!!

NOOOOOOO!!!

I’m an inanimate object I can’t come over- also why is the funeral at your place… shouldn’t it be at like the golf course, or a church, or his girlfriends-

[ stupid tumblr never lets me answer Tanner..]

Do you want to come to Keith’s funeral at my place? We have nachos and chocolate cupcakes also uh sorry for your loss.

@unnamed-freshmen-official

[keithsgolfclubs]

Do you want to come to Keith’s funeral at my place? We have nachos and chocolate cupcakes also uh sorry for your loss.

@unnamed-freshmen-official

[keithsgolfclubs]

It is so not ew! It’s like, if your tennis rackets were cool and sentient like me, you’d obviously be their owner and sorta parent.

It’s kinda like- if you own a cat..you call yourself its parent- so that’s like totally me and Keith. Except I am so not a pet!

Did your girlfriend kill Keith and dump his body in a river? :[

I know he did something bad to you, I think- but can you please revive him.

[ @keithsgolfclubs ]

what in the hell? Nicole would never actually do that!! is Keith ok??

[keithsgolfclubs]

Ewh, he is not my boyfriend! He’s like- my father or something

Did your girlfriend kill Keith and dump his body in a river? :[

I know he did something bad to you, I think- but can you please revive him.

[ @keithsgolfclubs ]

what in the hell? Nicole would never actually do that!! is Keith ok??

[keithsgolfclubs]

MY MARRIAGE PARTNER IS NOT A HALLUCINATION, YOU DRUGGY BITCH!

fym Courtney killed Keith, he’s dead?!

keith died and courtney killed him

the hallucinations have started

im skipping, i cant deal with flemings bullshit today

[keithsgolfclubs]

Why wouldn’t there be a talking blazer. Do you have a problem with my marriage partner?!

Wait what do you mean Keith’s dead- and that tramp Courtney killed him-

keith died .... courtney killed him

who?

also why is there a talking blazer?

[keithsgolfclubs]

Oh okay, thanks Heather. You were at the top of my suspects list so it’s totally awesome to be crossing you off.

Also seriously? I just thought Roger had given him that nose bleed- that’s kinda.. weird of him to do I guess

Do you know where Keith is? I heard he did some dirty work for you, so I’m hoping to get confirmation that you didn’t kill him to cover up something..

[ @keithsgolfclubs ]

Well I haven't heard from him. Rumors say he beat the shit out of Hannah or something (Bout time he did something cool.)

But no, he didn't get silenced by me.

[keithsgolfclubs]

Is that the cat we’re gonna adopt as our child?

If so, I’m like totally down dude! So glad I married you.

[keithsgolfclubs]

i know where keith is

Okay, so tell me already!

[keithsgolfclubs]

We aren’t supposed to tell Keith you’re on this app, but you should definitely tell us WHERE IS KEITH?!

See, the thing is-

I DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT LITTLE BLONDE BOY WENT!

I am starting to get worried. If anyone has any information on his whereabouts, please come forward.

I have a list of suspects!!