kdthecactuswizard - Tumblr blog

[kdthecactuswizard]

So my mom just came into my room, and started telling me about my teacher posting a bunch of scholarships for the LGBTQ+ community, and said

"You're Bi now."

Jokes on her, I've been bi for years.

[kdthecactuswizard]

Me, talking to my friends about my writing: ... and that's my headcanon

My friends: you realize... that you're the author

Me: And?

My friends: Which means... you can make that canon

Me:

[kdthecactuswizard]

Being nautious because I'm not eating

Not eating because I'm nautious

I love fucking existing

[kdthecactuswizard]

I just wanna say it's Ace Awareness Week, and I find it absolutely hilarious that my birthday is the first day of Ace Week.

It's like I was born to be Ace.

[kdthecactuswizard]

"Oh this is about to go horribly wrong," I say to myself, as I continue to read the book that has 100 more pages but all the problems resolved.

[kdthecactuswizard]

I'm litterally the most unsubtle writer on the planet.

Three of my characters needed fake names, and two of them end up together. The main character is passed out from her throat swelling up, so her future love interest comes up with her fake name.

The name he called her litterally translates to 'Term of Endearment' so...

[kdthecactuswizard]

So you've heard of The Owl House, right? Well my step dad is complaining and hating on it because it has a bisexual main character.

I don't know anything else about it but that.

But I am going to watch it, and like it, out of pure spite of him. In fact, I'm going to watch it in the living room, where he has to see it.

Because I want to support my beautiful bisexual queen, but also out of pure spite. Wish me luck!

[kdthecactuswizard]

Tyler: Dahlia, can we please, for one winter break, not have you go back to your hometown?

Tyler: The first yime you went, you had a mental breakdown in the cemetery and almost killed Fred

Tyler: The second time you found your moms dead body and came back covered in blood

Tyler: And the third time you were almost killed by a fucking death eater

Tyler: SO JUST STAY! AT THE FUCKING BURROW!

[kdthecactuswizard]

Okay so I'm reading a book and everythings finally good, themain character is with her love interent and everything is going great. BUT THEN! BUT THEN I notice there are ten more chapters left and I'm about to lose my mind this isn't going to go well

[kdthecactuswizard]

My mom: (understands the fact that I have depression, anxiety, possibly Autism or ADHD, and Thyroid issues that make me tired ALL THE TIME)

Also My Mom: (Gets on my back for not doing something because it feels impossible to get up and do it even tho I want to get it done. Yells at me and makes me feel like crap because I can't do it. Yeah that's mom.)

[kdthecactuswizard]

So I like writing, and reading. And for almost a year I've had this beautiful idea in my head:

So Character A, B, and C are in a love triangle together. Character A is a girl who befriends B and C, who are best friends. B and C both fall in love with her, and finally decide to ask for help about wtf they're going to do.

So they go to their friend, D, and basically say 'who should confess to A?' and D as a beautiful master of GAY is just like 'you know what's great about A? she has two hands, morons' and B and C are like 'oh'

[kdthecactuswizard]

Okay, so I just texted my boyfriend to talk. He said he was helping his grandma, and I asked him with what.

His response was moving stuff out of a crackhouse.

I was given no other context.

[kdthecactuswizard]

So My Sides...

Yeah, they're a mess. But so am I, so it makes sense. I thought I'd write them out for fun. Btw, this is based off of the Sander Sides series by Thomas Sanders. So this isn't entirely origional.

Mika, Logic

The smart one, obvs

But gets distracted easily

Like, "we have math homework, and this should be quiet easy, but-"

"Oh we should look up how much force it takes to shatter a knee cap"

Is the concerned mom because she can barely take care of me, but she can take care of my friends

Is tired™

"WE NEED TO FOCUS ON WRITING THIS ESSAY, IT'S DUE SOON AND WE CAN'T JUST-" "Mika it isn't due for another 3 months"

Is the reason I can't remember shit

Is in charge, but like barely

Literally she's the child rangler in my head

"Noctua, stop fantasizing about the guy we randomly saw three days ago- God damn it April, she doesn't need another WIP!"

Sometimes just shuts off and has to reboot

Noctua, Heart

Will screech if she gets excited

Latches onto people and fictional characters way to easily

"Noctua, please stop crying, you've watched this series ten times you know he-" "*crying* shUT UP!!!"

Finds everyone hot

Is the reason I constaly want hugs but only from Some People™

Is gay as hell, but also straight as hell, but also ace as hell because sex is gross, but is also-

Never knows whats happening

Has no clue what gender is or what gender she is

"I feel like a girl, but also I am the most bestest man, but also gender is gross but also-"

Pls help her

MUSIC MUSIC MU-

Loves Her Friends™

Get's sad when I delete pictures from my phone

April, Creativity

Is the reason I am a hot mess

Has self esteem issues

Runs on candy, friendship, and musicals

The one that loves to act but has no clue how

Complains about not getting solos but never tries out

"What do you mean my life isn't like an anime? If I'm singing by myself he will just give me the solo"

Never gets the solo

How do you talk to people?

Never shuts the hell up

Is the reason I can't drink coffee

Hates her work but also shows it off proudly

"Oh, so I was writing this weekend, and-" "is it the one with the british girl?" "no, it's-" "or is it the girl with fire powers?" "no it's a new one"

Dramatic AF

"*makes refrences every two second that no one gets*"

Casually flirts with everyone whether on purpose or accident

The reason I like anime

Wants to write, but never has inspiratiom or time. Or mika complains that I need to do homewor

Venusaur, Anxiety

Real name is Venus

But was called Venusaur by Mika one day and it stuck

POKEMON POKEMON POKE-

"Everyone hates us and we should just stop existing-"

Beats me up mentally, thats why im so tired

Panics at the slightest thing sometimes

Other times is really chill for absolutly no reason

"Ohmygod I slipped while leaving class everyone hates me we shoild go cry in the bathroom and just-"

"*legit didn't write an essay and now its due in like ten minutes* We got this, boys"

Is the one who is constaly screaming memes

scrEEECCHH

"I should shatter your kneecaps- lol I'm blind- bitch you talking crap- that trash can is me- bitch please I'm a queen- lets yeet ourself out the window"

More dramatic than April sometimes

The only god damn one who gets memes

Calls everyone "boy" because calling them friends makes her nervous

Nicknames™

[kdthecactuswizard]

So I have a group of Characters

And I absolutly love them.

Their names are Dahlia, Fred, Tyler, and George.

Basically, Fred and George are from Harry Potter (their my boys) so they are pranking masters. Dahlia is like the brains, coming up with more fool proof plans and creative pranks using muggle stuff. While Tyler is the one who watches the three of them reac havoc.

It's a fun dianamic to work with. Each character has a specific way of interacting with the others.

Dahlia:

With Tyler, Dahlia is basically a body on its own, while Tyler is the brain. They are eachothers impulse control, but it's mostly Tyler to Dahlia. They argue like sisters but Tyler is also like her mom. If Tyler finds out all the stupid crap Dahlia does, Dahlia is gone.

With George, they both become shy, and like to tease eachother. They are like children with school boy crushes. It's a sweet relationship. On the flip side, they can be very mischievous. They love to experiment and create new things for pranks.

With Fred, oh its basically war y'all best run for cover. Fred and Dahlia together is like a bomb, loud, scary, and all around a little much. They are sass masters that will make you regret the day you were born. Prank wars happen often and their basically World War 3. Those two are Ride or Die together. It's wild.

Tyler:

With George, Tyler and him have a fun relationship. It's built on them being too scared to ask out there crush, so the other is their wing woman or wing man. They balance eachother out in a mild relationship. They would be fine just sitting around for hours, Tyler working on homework and George on pranking products.

With Fred, oh y'all better run. Those two are always at eachother throats, arguing all hours of the day. Tyler says Fred is immature, Fred calls Tyler an edgelord. Back and forth all day. But they will also defend eachother to the grave. Those two are basically siblings.

George:

With Fred, the two are like they are in the books. They work well together, like a well oiled machine. It's easy, simple, and fun.

Now what I really love is three of them hanging out all at once.

The first combination is Dahlia, Tyler, and George.

The three of them together is very chill. Dahlia reads, Tyler does homework, George works on pranks. It's similar to George and Tyler by themselves. Sometimes Dahlia gets bored and starts messing around, but its a nice, relaxing friendship.

The next group is Dahlia, Tyler and Fred.

This is like Dahlia and Fred going off, with Tyler sitting in the back like 'This is a bad idea you guys are stupid how did I agree to this'. It's entertaining to watch as everything goes to hell and Tyler yells 'I told you so' across the wreckage.

Next is Dahlia, George and Fred.

The origional trio I wrote, it's like adding both a sense of calming down, but more intensity. Fred and George calm down with Dahlia is around, but when the three of them strick, it's way worse then before. Dahlia added to those iconic twins makes their pranks ruthless and go off without a hitch.

Last is Tyler, George, and Fred.

Kind of similar to Dahlia, Fred, and Tyler, but now insteed of them doing stupid stuff, it's the boys constantly poking fun at Tyler. Teasing every way to Sunday with these three. But Tyler is also able to actually control the both of them to an extent, which is more than anyone else can really say.

Anyway, I'm sure you all can see why working with these Characters has been a blast and why I felt the need to right this.

[kdthecactuswizard]

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you all had a good day, and enjoyed today as much as I did. Seeing as I'm doing a Pokemon Nuzlock, you could guess that I love pokemon.

So, today, I got Pokemon Sword for the Nintendo Switch and I was playing it for a while. I have about 3 and a half hours in it at the moment.

So as a pretty long standing pokemon fan, I've never actually caught a Shiny. For those of you who aren't pokemon fans, a Shiny is a pokemon that has a slightly diffrent coloration than normal pokemon of the same species.

Not to special sounding I'm guessing. But the odds of finding a Shiny is about 1 in 8,192.

So in all my years of Pokemon playing, I've never gotten a shiny besides trading. Which is cool, but it wasn't as special as finding one in the wild for me.

So I was playing Pokemon Sword, exploring and building my team. I took out a level 26 Onix with my level 12 Sobble (not to brag) and kept explring the area.

That's when I saw some Digletts. Simple Digletts, but with my little sister watching she wanted me to fight one. So I ran into it, expecting to sweep it with my team, but actually screamed when I looled at the screen.

A shiny Diglett! My hands were shaking, and I was terrified of losing this. I switched in my weakest pokemon to widdle it down. I then brought out my Yamper who would bring a pokeball back if I missed.

But I didn't need it. I caught it first try. I was so excited, and was bouncing in my seat. It was probably the highlight of my day.

TLDR; I found my first ever Shiny Pokemon

[kdthecactuswizard]

So I was playing Minecraft with my friends

And there were four of us in game, and two guys just chillin.

I was the servers owner, KD, and my friends Mars and I have been in the world and even built a house together. Our friend Ant and DQ joined the game, and we had all met up somewhere else.

They found a big ravine just under the surface, so we covered up the holes with wood and some doors. The four of us made a room, and everything was going great.

I then decided that I was going to ruin it, so Mars would come back to our house. I made a bucket, and wandered until I found my way to my home, then just to the east was a thing of lava.

We had keep intintory on, so I killed myself. But then I realized there were two doors insteed of one. So I made another bucket and got more lava.

At this point DQ was messing with Mars, teleporting her about, and Ant was off making his own house not to far from us.

When Mars was out, I placed the lava in front of the doors, and ran back home. I was almost there when Mars died and respawned at the ravine house.

She started yelling, and I looked over at her screen (we were right next to eachother) and I acted confused, angry, and started yelling at DQ why he did it.

Mars followed my lead, and I watched the whole thing unfold. Momma watched as Mars went on a rampage, yelling at DQ.

When he told her that he had left them game, she turned her attention to Ant and started yelling at him. She was starting to get really angry, so I opened my invintory to the two empty buckets and started laughing.

Momma and Egg saw my screen, and started laughing too. I got Mars attention, and showed her the empty buckets in my invintory. It took her a solid 5 seconds of looking at it before she looked at me with murder in her eyes.

And that's the story about how I burned my friends house down with lava and no one realized it was me until I revealed myself.

(Also btw everyone had fake names)

[kdthecactuswizard]

My First Pokemon Nuzlocke!

Now Pokemon is something pretty much everyone has heard of, and knows the basic concept of. Anyone can pick it up and play it. But a Nuzlocke is a series of self imposed rules in a Pokemon playthrough.

The first big rule is that you can only catch one pokemon per area, the first one you find in that area. No other pokemon are aloud to be caught.

The second is that if a pokemon faints, that pokemon is 'dead' and you can't use it anymore. This means it's actually possible to lose a pokemon game.

The third and smallest rule is that you must name each of your pokemon. Specifically so it can rip your heart out later if they die.

Now the game I'm playing is Pokemon Moon for the 3DS. I've played this game once before, so I'm allowing myself to look up the pokemon for major battles, and for some inparticular items.

First we start in a little house, and honesly KD does not want to get up. But Meowth forces her up.

Our cousin, a pokemon professor, named Kukui is there. My mom and him decide I need to go outside. Ew.

But just like real life, I get dressed with my hat and bag, before Kukui drags me up to a small town, named Iki. In this town lives the Kahuna, a leader of the island, and to get my first pokemon.

What if I don't want to be a pokemon master, MOM.

Either way into Iki I go. I see a nice looking blonde girl in a white dress, talking to her bag. That's weird, but she looks cute. She runs into a cave or something.

I decide to follow both because the game made me, and I might be a bit bi-curious.

After catching up with her, a small lunar like pokemon runs onto a bridge and gets attacked by a herd of spearo. Goddamnit. The cute girl begs for me to save it. And like the knight in shining armor, I of course decided to say these words to her in comfort.

Nah.

But the game made me, so I ran in and protected my future girlfriends pokemon. Then the bridge collasped. Goddamnit.

But then WHOOSH, in came this cool lightning pokemon type thing. The island guardian thing saves me and the pokemon, thank god. I may be thirsty but I'm not about to die for love.

Me, the hero, gives back the pokemon to the blonde girl, and the lunar pokemon was lovingly nicknamed Nebby. Nebby finds a Sparkeling Stone, and I get it. Why? Because I'm the main character damnit.

Back in Iki, I learn the girl is my cousins assistant, named Lillie. Pretty weird to have a preteen girl living in a college age dudes loft, but whatever floats Kukuis boat.

Finally the Kahuna comes out, and gives me my first pokemon. I decide to get Litten, a cat like fire pokemon. Now, to name them.

Litten shall be named Catniss, because fire. And their a cat. The problem? I didn't realize until after I named them that Catniss is a boy. Well fuck it I guess, I'm not changing it.

Now to show off to my mom that I have the better and cooler cat, but then Hau pulls up, a fellow new trainer. He has Rowlet as his starter, an owl like grass type.

Little burns Rowlet alive. Guess we having roasted owl tonight boys.

After making that new friend, I head home to mom to show off Catniss. Just kidding, I'm going to sleep.

I wake up the next day, and apparently theres a festival in Iki. Dope. But turns out I have to go through tall grass for some reason to get there. Not dope.

Kukui teaches me to catch pokemon and gives me some balls and some potions. Time to catch Catniss a buddy.

The pokemon to pop up is Pikipek, a normal flying type pokemon. Not the best, but I can work with it.

Without down right murdering another bird, I carefully lower its health then use a pokeball. Then BOOM! Catniss got himself a new bro.

I name him Ari, after a pokemon from the first Nuzlocke I ever watched. Thanks Jaiden.

With my boys in toe, we work our way back to Iki without any real issue. When I arrive, so does the party. Literally.

Apparently me and Hau are duking it out again. Okay, stomping on his dreams again it seems. It's not my fault, Hau, the game developers made me do it.

I thought he'd be a pushover like last time, but now he has Pichu. Pichu isn't a strong hitter, but does have a lot of defense and attack lowering moves. Uh oh.

I send in Catniss first, to take all the lowering of stats and take out his Pichu quicker. But even though Ari is a lower level, he's still stronger than Catniss at the moment.

Ari is thrown out in front, and ends Rowlet by pecking its eyes out. Poor Rowlet.

Upon winning, I got a Z-Ring. Nice. Then back home to sleep.

The next day, Lillies at my door. Hey baby, how's it goin'?

Lillie wants to take me to Kukuis lab, to the south. And theres a new area to explore, so a new pokemon bro.

First pokemon to show up? A Yungoos. Greaaaat.

I capture the boy, and I shall name him Slimy, and he shall be mine and he small be my Slimy. I shall protect him with my life.

Nothing much else happens, except I explore my cousins basement, and off to Hau'oli city I go! And guess where I'm going. School.

I hate everything.

But there's also a Pokemon Center. I buy some potions, among other things with my pokemoney I stole from preschoolers after killing their pets right before their eyes. It's fun.

I take on a trainer at the school, with a level 8 Pikipek. Which is the name level as my boys.

I decide to go grind a bit to get to level 10. Don't want to risk any of my boys dying a painfully dramatic death.

After leveling up my boys, we beat some six year olds Metapod, steal his money, and find a potion. I heal up just in case, then head inside to find some 4 year old I'm supposed to fight.

I beat up the 4 year old easily, steal a quick claw from one of the teachers, then give to Slimy because he's slow as heck.

Then I go beat up some hotshot out front. Slimy almost died and got posioned, but I switched to Ari to win the battle. Then I'm called to the office. Oh shit. Did I make that four year old cry? Probably, lol.

Lillie is lecturing me, but hey that's part of the game. I heal up, and head to the office. Where she wanted to battle me. Wow, it's almost like I knew this was coming.

First she sent out Magnemite, and as someone who's had a magnemite, I knew this battle might be a bit scary. I tried to roast it alive with Catniss, but I couldn't get by without getting paralysis.

I then sent out Ari to deal with Meowth. It was going pretty good, as Ari had a move strong against it. But he kept flinching at way to low a health. I could've risked it, but with the moves low accuracy I didn't want to.

I sent out Slimy, who finished off her Meowth. Everyone was at pretty low health, but we made it. I got 5 great balls, and then I was set off to go to the world.

I went off with Lillie so she could show off the city. Finally, a date.

Then a Tauros is blocking the path. After dealing with that, Hau decided to tag alone. Fucking third wheeler.

But insteed of exploring that good quality city, I decided to save. This is the end of this part, so soon I'll be back.

Next time with Pokemon Moon Nuzlocke, we'll explore the city, go on a date while being third wheeled, and most importantly we'll find a new addition to the team.

It better not be fucking Abra.