kala22

[kala22]

Vent post incoming

I really really miss somebody right now because it’s coming up to the time of year that I met them. Not only do I miss them but I miss everybody who I surrounded myself with at the time, the overall feeling I had. I miss what it was like to love somebody so much, my friend told me I need to move on. I can’t. It’s just not that easy and as much as I try I can’t move on right now. Yes I’m still hung up on something that ended a long time ago but what am I supposed to do? I’ve done everything to move. It doesn’t help that the person I miss is 1.out of my life. 2. A horrible person and 3. They��re slowly falling apart and there’s nothing anybody can do to help them. It hurts me to know they’re going down a dark road but at the same time it’s clear why they have nobody by their side

[kala22]

I’m literally ranting into the abyss right now but who cares, my mother basically said to me “I might be biased but you are the prettiest of your friends” but then went on to describe how she hates my personality because I’m like my dad.

[kala22]

Ok I’m like going back in time to something that hurt me a couple months ago because it was brought up again recently and my friend said don’t talk about it because it hurts. But I feel like I need to talk and at the same time I’m literally not allowed to speak of this because it’s a secret

Like I basically put a lot of trust into somebody and defended them for a lot of shit and then it turned out that they were absolutely evil. Not just a “oh they’re rude, they talk behind your back” kind of thing. No. This is another level of bad and he doesn’t regret what he did.

I don’t see him anymore because he’s basically out of my life but… I don’t know. I cried a lot at the time but it’s like I’m not completely over it, I really wish that I could go back to not knowing about the things he did but that’s both impossible and wouldn’t be good for me 🥲

[kala22]

Here is a fun fact that sounds like it’s straight from a 2014 tumblr post

The taste of jägerbombs and the song lake of fire by nirvana is what reminds me of my first kiss

[kala22]

Right so, everybody keeps saying shit to me like “omg you lost weight well done” this past two weeks. This is because I’ve been working almost everyday doing double shifts back to back for the past month or more, I’ve had to pay back so many people for shit that I don’t even have the money to show for it. And here’s the thing, I’m not thin, You would look at me and probably describe me as cubby. If I look at myself in the mirror right now I look deathly, my face is literally grey and my eyes are sunken. How can people view this as a good thing? I’d rather be bigger than look like this, I don’t feel healthy, it feels so unnatural for me to be like this because the only way I’ve achieved it has been threw non stop work and barely getting time to eat or do anything

[kala22]

Here’s a thought. You know how people love those characters who have trauma or are in some way broken, for example dean Winchester, klaus Hargreaves, stiles stillinski, I love them too. But these are the types of characters people say you won’t love in real life. Tell me why literally every person I’ve ever drawn into my life has been a version of them.

[kala22]

I’m a mess. The only thing I do is work and sleep, I haven’t fed my cat in two days and there are flys in my room. I can’t brush through my hair and everything sends me spiralling into tears. I don’t even know where to start to fix this

[kala22]

I’m really upset about something that happened to me over the weekend and my family couldn’t even validate my feelings on it, I feel like absolute shit about this situation now.

[kala22]

[kala22]

Seamus Heaney reads his poem Digging

[kala22]

‘blackberry-picking’ by irish poet seamus heaney & ‘this bread i break’ by welsh poet dylan thomas

[kala22]

Hozier + Literary references

NFWMB/The Second Coming W.B.Yeats/Sing(To Noise Making)/At The Wellhead Seamus Heaney/From Eden/Chanson Oscar Wilde/Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene/A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man James Joyce

[kala22]

idk like religion in six of crows and shadow and bone kanej. greed isn't kaz's god but his servant and his lever. inej's first knife is named sankt petyr, the one kaz gives her, named after a saint who died fighting a demon who pretended to be his dead brother. inej being the one thing kaz thinks his holy. willing to claim alina is a saint. inej killing for kaz the first time in a church right when the cadence drops. kaz thinking about inej while he is drowning and being baptized in fjerdan holy water. no saint ever watched over me, not like you have. kaz praying to the wrong god when inej is taken from him. inej thinking dunyasha is her comeuppance from the saints and carving her own way to victory. like all the small things about the two of them, kaz worshipping inej, what the fuck

[kala22]

If Wylan was really the uwu soft boy the fandom paints him to be Kaz Brekker would have thrown him out of the tank with no hesitation the moment they exited the Ice Court. But no. So don’t make me throw you out of the tank as we exit the Ice Court, I will not hesitate

[kala22]

Peak comedy was when kaz was regretting the talking tree jokes he had made for basically an entire book.

“Kaz Brekker isn’t funny” what book did you read that boy is constantly making jokes. maybe you just have a bad sense of humour

[kala22]

I’m gonna sound like a nerd but I literally love essays. I’m doing an essay right now that I left to last minute and I regret leaving it now because I’m enjoying it so much, compare and contrast?! Give me that shit

I love it! I actually can’t get enough of these details?! Wow. The symmetry, the contrast life and death dark and light I live for this.

Give me an essay and I will happily do it

[kala22]

Freddy is already doing such a good job so hopefully he’ll be able to put the words into his facial expressions and body language, other factors like the camera angle and the way a scene cuts will make it more noticeable aswell! That’s why I’m so excited to see how it translates on screen

i wonder if and how they’re gonna include the inner thoughts that happen whenever kaz and inej converse.

Maybe they’ll do in in voiceovers i’m not sure but i absolutely need to see all of kaz’s inner thoughts about inej being voiced in the show (as most of them are some of the most popular book quotes amongst the fandom)

like the scene on the ferolind where inej is questioning kaz as to why he’s asking her if she can climb the incinerator as he just admits to himself it was an excuse to talk to her after two days.

this also applies to both wesper and helnik as well but i think it occurs the most with kanej