k4creative

[k4creative]

Nem is tudom, mióta hordom ezt a kabátot.

Sosem tetszett. Nem igazán zöld, formátlan, hatalmas gombjai vannak és retro, koszosnak látszó műanyag akasztója. Nincs bélése, nem meleg. Nem igazi téli kabát, igaz én meg sosem voltam fázós.

Egyedül a hossza tetszett.

Mégis ezt hordom, minden télen. Megjárta velem Prágát, Londont és Joensuut. Jártam benne várost, erdőt, réteket. Autóztunk, buszoztunk, vonatoztunk és repültünk is együtt.

Még abban sem vagyok biztos, hogy nekem vetted, vagy csak hozzád került. Nem akartam elfogadni.

-Legalább próbáld fel, hátha jól áll!

Sóhajtottam, fintorogtam… de belebújtam. Felragyogott az arcod, ahogy csak a tiéd tudott.

-Kristikém! Ez marha jól áll!

És mosolyogtam, mert rád nem lehet nem mosolyogni. Megköszöntem, elvittem, hordom.

Ma is ez volt rajtam, mikor megkaptam a hírt, hogy nem mosolyogsz többet. És most először fázom benne.

Sosem tetszett. Nem igazán zöld, formátlan, hatalmas gombjai vannak és retro, koszosnak látszó műanyag akasztója. Nincs bélése, nem meleg. Nem igazi téli kabát, igaz én meg sosem voltam fázós…

2024.11.29.

[k4creative]

I am sorry 😢

[k4creative]

Boldog makogás

Versbe próbáltam önteni ma

Hogy mit jelentesz most nekem.

Eltört a haiku

Angolul és magyarul

Sem sikerült.

Ez, amit helyette írok

Talán nem is vers.

Akadozik, nincs ritmusa

És nem adják magukat a rímek.

Pedig belül, ha rád gondolok

csupa szép kép jut eszembe:

A mosolyod, csillagok, a macska, rét szellőben, szikrázó kék ég alatt, vízesések, dallamok, séták, hóesés, forró csoki…

Úgy érzem, az ecset, amit használok

Akár valódi, akár szófestő…

Szebben alkot, ha fájdalomba mártom

És azt ékesítem, színezem, ami menthetetlenül csúnya, borzasztó, fájdalmas.

Szeretnék megtanulni ezzel az érzéssel festeni. Ezzel írni.

Ezzel élni.

Mert JÓ és olyan jó lenne akár csak egy kicsit is, egy egészen apró töredéket

Visszatükrözni belőle.

2024.06.20.

[k4creative]

Day 13 (final day) - Padrón to Santiago de Compostela

Today was an exceptionally ugly foggy and rainy day. I started very early, before 6 AM, in the dark. I did not enjoy this last day of walking.

In the first stage I caught up to 2 Spanish ladies. We did not talk, or chat, but they turned back to me at every turn and crossroads and asked me where to go… like I was the authority on Galizia or something. It made me feel like an asshole. After a while I lagged off of them to put on my raincoat.

Have I mentioned that I hate all manner of rain gear? Somehow rubber boots and umbrellas are the most okay, but man I hate these!

So I’ve been walking all morning feeling in the meantime that I don’t want to to go any further. But I did not want to stop either…

During the last 10 or so kms I imagined walking the same distance in my hometown and where could it get me if I started in different points of the city.

I did not have a good time. The cathedral was pretty and the old city is quite something. Later the rain stopped and I showered and put on dry clothes and went for a second stroll in the city. It’s a nice place and galizians are very proud of their celtic heritage. There is even a tartan shop in the old town.

I was so sick of people today that I was unable to sit in a restaurant so I only ate supermarket food. 😣

I don’t know whether this pilgrimage did something good to my soul. I guess, the results might come later. I’ll let you know.

The next post will be crafting again. I have some projects coming up. 😊

And the last 10 pictures of my Camino:

[k4creative]

Day 12 - Pontevedra to Padrón

This was a long day. Heavy thoughts about some of my bad and borderline sociopathic tendencies and my body dysmorphia…

((I am not sure this “pilgrimage” helped me with my mental health…))

Anyway today was long. I walked ~45 kms so tomorrow my last day it’ll only be 24-26ish km. The route followed brooks and rivers all day. Until late afternoon the weather was pleasant, not too sunny, not too hot. Most of the route went under beautiful forests (mostly oaks, pines and eucalyptus trees with ferns and flowers underneath).

[k4creative]

Day 11 - Rùa (Mos) to Pontevedra

It was a beautiful day with a lot of hills and valleys and historical places. I am very grumpy now to the point of depressive self-hating and I am not sure, why.

So let me just stop writing and show you some pics from today.

[k4creative]

Day 10 - São Pedro de Torre to Mos

Today’s first: I crossed a time zone border on foot!

The border river of Spain and Portugal, Minho is beautiful! In the morning I crossed the starfort-rich city of Valença, and then I crossed the Minho, the border and ended up in the CET zone 😊. Fun.

It was a very hot day. I only stopped once for 20 minutes. If my feet let me, I’ll finish this Camino in 3 days. 4 on the outside.

Today I listened to music a lot. I contemplated my lost connection to singing, my relationship, and the beauty of the world.

It is fascinating for me to realise (over-and-over again), that there is no two people on this planet who experiences things a 100% like another. The way I see, I hear, I smell, I feel is unique. And this thought does not only make me unique, but everybody else as well. And the best thing is…it doesn’t cheapen it!

I also considered how small we are, living on this behemoth of a planet and only using its surface 2-10 kms… yet we think ourselves high and mighty…

Ok I finish the cringefest. Here are the pictures:

[k4creative]

Day 9 - Caminha to São Pedro da Torre

I started early. It was a slow day. I walked slowly. I followed a slow river. I thought slow thoughts. I stopped a lot and yet I arrived early.

The weather was perfect.

I saw a wild otter in the morning!! Got a bad video about it. I heard and saw a lot of lively birds by the riverside. Robins and chaffinches mostly, but there were wagtails, sparrows, other finches and a few herons and egrets too. And of course swallows and gulls. I’d like to learn bird photography I think… that’s another costly hobby for me 😅😅

There will be “community dinner” at 7 whatever that means…I hope it won’t be an interview.

I also saw a lot of churches today. I mean…maybe more than usual in this country especially considering that I went down to the riverside at the first opportunity.

Anyway, here are the pictures starring a guest appearance of a cat and my rather burnt foot:

[k4creative]

Day 8

Outside:

Flowers, rivers, ocean, heat, birds, lizards, feet.

Inside:

Self-worth, gender, family, grief, loneliness, planning. And feet.

[k4creative]

Day 7

Still confused.

That’s my bag!

[k4creative]

I just wrote a very emotional post about the past 2 days and it got lost due to “tangled connection” 😭😭

I am devastated.

I can’t rewrite it so here is the summary:

- I left Porto in horizontal rain

- I love my partner so much I cannot really put it into words (not twice in a row anyway). I never felt so loved and so supported and cared for before!

- a very kind lady gave me an el Camino charm

- my feet hurt

- I love the ocean

[k4creative]

Day 3-4

Every day a new town. The weather is still awful and my legs hurt like crazy because in the first 2 days I had to walk a total of 20 kms more than I planned due to all the albergues being fully booked. (85 kms in total)

I checked if I could walk a shorter stage today and I pulled a blank…there was no affordable accomodation for me in a safe distance with my sore leg…So today I said fuck it, hopped on a bus and skipped 2 days’ worth of journey and came up to Porto. I want to enjoy this, not suffer through it.

I took a bagless(!) walk in the city and I swore to myself that one day I come back as a tourist! I want to have a week in Portugal with not walking everywhere with a huge bagpack…

Now I’m at the hostel, hoping that the clothes I washed yesterday will be able to dry today.

Birds from the last few days: various finches, wagtails, robins, buzzards, kites, storks, herons, pigeons, crows, sparrows, gulls and seagulls, flycatchers, chickens, ducks and geese.

[k4creative]

Day 2

I don’t feel like writing today. Look at what a beutiful day I had!

[k4creative]

Day 1

This is mostly a picture dump. It was a strange day and I feel confused and tired. Portugal is beautiful, but I do hope, the weather changes for the better. I didn’t have to walk much today and I got rained on…twice…and hailed on once.

I do hope, my bad feelings are just beginners’ anxiety and not a yet undiscovered ability of foresight…

I met my first crazy guy, Phillip (or something…i’m bad with names). He lives on the road…and looks happy. ��

Anyway, birds I saw today: crows, larks, tits, wagtails, starlings, storks, gulls, pigeons, sparrows and two kites.

I also heard some I didn’t recognize.

Also life is too short not to check out every pretty flower.

[k4creative]

Hello!

This is just a heads-up to myself and for the few who reads my stuff: for the month of May I will temporarily change this platform to a “travel blog”.

I’m picking up the El Camino Portuguese where I left it 2 years ago, in Coimbra.

If everything goes down smoothly, it’ll take around 3 weeks to reach Santiago de Compostela. During those weeks I will try to post photos and thoughts (if any occurs 😅), maybe poems (if the fancy takes me) every once in a while.

If you’re interested in that sort of stuff, you are welcome to follow my journey! 😊

Izgalom

Sétálni viszem

Minden gondolatomat

El Camino vár

Anticipation

I take myself for

a walk with all my worries

El Camino waits.

[k4creative]

Oroszlánszív

Gyerekként kovácsolt vastag páncélt.

Nehezet, súlyába belerokkan.

Sebzett szíve most kinyúl a kardért

S szembeszáll a pusztító okokkal.

Büntetéstől retteg, mégse nyugszik

Lefejti magáról mind a vasruhát.

Életösztönével is megverekszik,

Csak felszabad��thassa önmagát.

Leszámolva hàt minden kényelemmel

Hosszú, rögös kaptatóra indul

Fájdalommal fizetve, s félelemmel.

Megéri hát, vagy inkább dőreség

Őszintén állni egy rideg világban,

Ha a bátorság ára pőreség?

2024.04.09-18

[k4creative]

Raven and Cat

II.

At the shimmering dome of the Border the raven catches up with the cat. They don’t descend, but start circling overhead. They let out a soft ’korr-korr’ to catch his attention.

-Do not disturb me! – snaps the voice of the cat in their head with force.

The raven feels the tension emenating from the small figure on the ground. They circle lower, landing on top of a fir tree and take a better look at their colleague.

This is what the raven sees:

The small, but tense shape of the cat sits on a clearing, looking right ahead. The rays of the setting sun envelop the cat, dressing him in the brilliant colours of a fire opal. He just sits there, apparently waiting for something. He glares at a point in the clear air a few meters ahead without blinking.

The raven blinks…

The enormous, leopard-shaped astral form of the cat, made out of silver and gold flames, sits before an impenetrable-looking, shimmering wall. The Border is a frightening shimmering and humming presence. The fact that it’s see-through does not make it any less terrifying. While the cat sits and stares, his astral body reaches out one giant paw, tentatively touching the wall…a mark ont he wall: a smudge of blue mana. The Witch’s mana. Looking unmistakably like a bloodstain.

The raven swoops down without thinking, almost belly-flopping beside the cat.

-An exit wound! – they cry – how could I miss it?!

-You rely too much on your eyes and the aerial view. – replies the cat loftily. – You also have no sense of smell, or touch to write home about…not even on the astral plane…but shut your beak now and let me analyze this, before it fades away completely!

The jab hurts, but the raven – being a wise creature – knows when not to take offense over such trifles. They settle down beside the cat, left wing lightly touching right shoulder, and closing both eyes, start to concentrate. The black and purple mana of the raven starts flowing out of their body in one purposeful tentacle, reaching for the back of the cat’s head, strengthening him.

The unblinking eyes of the cat soon become vacant, his mouth opens slightly, revealing a pink tongue and sharp fangs, his nose and whiskers weakly twitching. In the past, the raven found this part very funny, until one day they cared to check, what the astral body is doing in the meantime…since then, the cat’s expression is no laughing matter for them.

The giant mana leopard reaches out with one claw, sampling the mana smudge left on the wall by the Witch. As the mana combines with the other, the astral body flares up, a blue edge dancing ont he gold and silver flames. The sampling claw disappears in the maw of the creature. This point, the leopard loses it’s shape, becoming an ever changing, pulsing unfocused and terrifying cloud of energy. Than, with a mute thunderclap, the whole cloud collapses back into the head and spine of the cat in a blink of an eye.

The cat sneezes. Once. Twice. Thrice. He licks his nose in a dignified manner and looks at the bird beside him with the narrow-eyed blink of a cat’s smile.

-Thank you for the assistance. It…helps a lot in the recovering. – he purrs in a slightly embarrassed tone.

-Least I can do. What did you find out?

-She did not leave by her own choice, that one is sure. – comes the reply. The tone is analytical, but the twitching end of the cat’s tail is telling.

-She was forced to leave. By someone or something strong. They were able to enter our territory without us noticing and exit the dome again, with her in tow, leaving only this small wound…

-So you’re saying we’re in trouble? – asks the raven.

-Big trouble. – nods the cat. – You were right from the start. We cannot waste more time.

Without wasting any more words, both get up with determination. They cross the Border together, carefully avoiding the wound. The invisible wall stroking their coats with a barely perceptable sparkle of blue mana. The eye of the raven lights up with gold for a second, as the shadows of the coming night surround them.