just18days

[just18days]

i need more happy today

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Seriously worst day ever.

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Day Twenty-Two

I was in Copenhagen for days thirteen to twenty. I still don’t have a job and I’m broke. So I decided to go home, changed my ticket, then I got an email about a position in Paris starting in ten days.

All my cards are officially tossed in the air. Timing is always an issue. Forever an issue.

[just18days]

of errythang.

Ashish S/S 2013

[just18days]

Stumbled across Kef! art today, so cool!

[just18days]

paris je t'aime

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Le phare de la Tour Eiffel and also someone 'woo-ing' in the background.

Paris after dark is always a surprise.

[just18days]

So many people got married in Paris today. #goodluck

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today's theme song

[just18days]

Days Ten & Eleven

Parisian weekends happen in an alternate dimension, the realtime continuum is not of this world. Time passes eerily fast.

It was a heritage weekend here, museums and monuments were free to visit. Saturday I checked out the Yves Saint Laurent house, both the line and the wait time to see this were entirely too long, especially since it was raining. Today I wandered and went anywhere there wasn't a line. So I hung out with Napoleon at his cryb. I mean, crypt. Got really into the 500 Days of Summer soundtrack as I walked/danced/bobbed around Hotel des Invalides. Finally, I ended up back at the Eiffel Tower. It's my moon and I'm a moth.

I dislike running, I really do, but I force myself to keep up the habit. This morning for the first time, in a really long time, I went on a long run and I didn't want to punch every other person that went by and I think I only swore twice. Maybe four times, who really keeps count? All I know is the frequency was significantly less than the norm. 

Feeling good about life, even though being unemployed is still a bother.

Paris has a way with me.

[just18days]

but really…

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Doorway of Hôtel National des Invalides

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that kinda lux just ain't for us

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I might stop by the Louvre later today.

from: carterfamilyportraits

[just18days]

Day Nine

I got two, fine five, rejection emails, but two really big opportunities came through as well!!! SO take that! 

[just18days]

Day Eight

I follow a bunch of dreamy and existential social media channels online. Picture lots of mythical animals, typography, swearing, stars, nature, and jumping. By default a lot of these also have sweet, d’aw, romantic, lovey posts. Picture holding hands, endless hands shaped into hearts, eternal hugs, kisses so full of emotion you gag, and also more typography. I am an intentionally-happily-purposely single lady. So these posts don’t really phase or bother me, occasionally they do elicit an extraordinarily jaded response, but then I move on and laugh at the naiveté.

Recently, I’ve started to take note of these sweet posts more, but I couldn’t quite understand why. Then I did some self-reflection, it went like this:

Am I not happy being single?

            Relationships, we don’t have energy or time for that.

I mean, I guess I’ve met boys that I might make energy for?

            No, remember so-and-so, yeah he sucked

            Or, we just haven’t met Mr. Right yet.

Why do I feel drawn to these posts then?

            Because we want and are missing something in our life... 

Then it hit me. I’ve developed romantic feelings and notions about my future job. I live (un)solidly in an alternate day dream reality, so fantasizing  about the job that I don't have, is not good. The more I develop these feelings, the less willing I’m going to be to settle. You think I'm kidding, here are the latest examples:

Exhibit A: When I finally get a job and how I will accept and celebrate:

Exhibit B: How I think I'll feel about my future job, this also is applicable to my obsessive job search:

Exhibit C: No, really:

Exhibit D: When I find a job and analyze the pros/cons:

Exhibit E: When I finally accept the perfect job:

Exhibit F: On our first day:

  Exhibit G: Me content in my future office space and job:

Exhibit H: If/When my perfect job and I part ways, how I want to feel:

I need help. I also need to find a job. It might not be perfect, but I want it to have a salary and benefits. Which are ironically and oddly similar requirements to a woman searching for the perfect man/woman. 

Happy Wednesday.

[just18days]

another gloomy, chilly day in paris. going for a walk to clear the mind. 

what better place to do so, than in paris.