juanavalos1111

[juanavalos1111]

The Story of This Isn't The End...

Lyrics to this songs were written in a dingy little hotel room in Rome, Italy. I had spent the day with my best friend exploring, getting lost & enjoying each other's company in such an absolutely rad city. One morning, we visited The Crypt of the Capuchin Monks & as I stood there, I saw sign, It read:

"What you are now we used to be; what we are now you will be."

A simple phrase referring to life & death. I stood there for what seemed to be an eternity & thought about the life I had been living-The good, the bad, the ugly. In those 7 seconds, I thought about the people that were in my life: Those that I had lost...what I had seen in this great big world of ours...what would be waiting for me tomorrow, if tomorrow would ever come....

Here is what the song means to us, line for line....

Woken up by the steps of the dead (REFERRING TO BEING IN THE CRYPTS) in my head; I'd forgotten all the words that have never been said.

Then I wonder if I ever really lived at all

AS I STOOD THERE IN FRONT OF REMAINS TO THOSE THAT PASSED BEFORE US, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "EVERYONE HAS A STORY, I WONDER WHAT THEIRS WAS....I WONDERED IF ANYONE WOULD ASK THE SAME OF MINE AFTER I’M DEAD & GONE...I WONDERED...

Days of yesterday have seemed to be passing me by; Leaves me starring at the devils hiding up in the sky

EVEN THOUGH THE DAYS OF YESTERDAY ARE DONE & GONE, DEMONS STILL HAUNT...ME

Then I wonder if you'll be there when in need you to catch me as I fall.

I LOOKED OVER AT YOU….I NEED YOU...

I cannot believe, beliefs you see

my friend, this isn’t the end

WE ARE INDIVIDUALS...WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT....WE HAVE OUR OWN BELIEFS, WE HAVE OUR WAY OF DOING THINGS...& IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD...INDIVIDUALITY IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND....

What (you’re) now, we- once were

What-we are-now you-shall become

ODE TO THE CAPUCHIN MONKS: WHAT YOU ARE WE USED TO BE, WHAT WE ARE YOU SHALL BE...

I don’t know much but I know that I want you to know; I’d go to hell and back or anywhere you want me to go; I’d run to the corners of the world

AS I SEE YOU YOU STANDING NEXT TO ME, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I’M A SIMPLE MAN AND I LOVE YOU TO FUCKING DEATH & WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.

Say a prayer but a prayer can’t help us

WE HAVE ONE LIFE SO LIVE EVERYDAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST...

I step back and I look at the hell in myself; Letting go of all the cards that I thought I was dealt

COMING TO GRIPS WITH LIFE & LETTING GO OF THE CHAINS THAT BOUNDED ME DOWN WAS DIFFICULT BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE...

holding on to you is all I have and you can never say goodbye

I NEED YOU....

I cannot believe, beliefs you see

my friend, this isn’t the end

What (you’re) now, we- once were

What-we are-now you-shall become

ODE TO THE CAPUCHIN MONKS: WHAT YOU ARE WE USED TO BE, WHAT WE ARE YOU SHALL BE...

You shall become...

You shall become...

Me...

SOMEDAY, YOU SHALL BECOME WHAT I AM...

[juanavalos1111]

This is a song in which 1 is talking to…oneself. It’s about self doubt. Lack of self worth. Not being true to others. Not being true to oneself. Beginning to believe in lies. Lies that one has told themselves. It’s about a person that has the qualities to be a decent person, but they aren’t.

You never understood

You never cared

You never cracked the code

You’re always too Scared

You’ve broken every rule

You always hide the truth

You’re living w a noose on

You’ll never known my name

Let’s clear the air

you’ll never know my face

Warned - always Beware

You’ve broken every rule

You always hide the truth

You’re living w a noose on

Everything that I’ve been told

Is the only truth I’ve known

What to believe nobody knows

All your lies are all I know

We all have become one

the truth be told

there is no future once you

sell me your soul

[juanavalos1111]

My father was diagnosed with dementia in 2019. It’s suffered with memory loss for a short time before that but on October 17, 2019, he suffered a stroke left him paralyzed on the left side of his body. It also kicked the dementia from 1st to 4th gear almost instantly. Are open till March 12, when he passed away, he spent time at St. Luke’s hospital, emergency rehabilitation nursing home. I pretty much stopped everything in this with him every day. Stop the bands, I pretty much left work, I didn’t spend any time with my family, I spent it primarily with my father because I could not bear the fact that he would be alone. Unfortunately, his mentality became similar to that of a child because the dementia had taken over. It was brutal. Nonetheless, even though there aren’t a lot of lyrics in the song, I had written it in the first person view of what may have been going through his head at the time.

[juanavalos1111]

This is a song performed at Crusherfest this year…a song I wrote after a visit in Roma, Italia. Specifically after a visit to the Crypt of the Capuchin Monks…there was a song that inspired me to write this song, it read: Once you are now we used to be. What we are now you will be.

Woken up by the steps of the dead in my head

I'd forgotten all the words that have never been said.

Then I wonder if I ever really lived at all

The days of yesterday have seemed to be passing me by

Leaves me starring at my devils hiding up in the sky

Then I wonder if you'll be there when in need you to catch me as I fall.

I cannot believe, beliefs you see

my friend, this isn’t the end

What now - we once were

What-we are-now you-shall become

I don’t know much but I know that I want you to know

I’d go to hell and back or anywhere you want me to go

I’d run to the corners of the world Say a prayer but a prayer can’t help us

I step back and I look at the hell in myself

Letting go of all the cards that I thought I was dealt

holding on to you is all I have and you can never say goodbye

I cannot believe, beliefs you see

my friend, this isn’t the end

What now- we once were

What-we are-now you-shall become

#size5s #Milwaukee #414ALLMKE #punkrock #seetheworldwithme

[juanavalos1111]

Size 5’s. Crusherfest. #milwaukee #punkrock #followthemsize5s #gooniea #414ALLMKE

[juanavalos1111]

Last hugs….I miss this man…

[juanavalos1111]

This Jen time when I was the only person on an island. Take me back…take me back…. #belize #goffsisland

[juanavalos1111]

Angel….by me…

[juanavalos1111]

Size 5’s.

Song title: We Will Never Die

One that that Ive always said

After Being left for dead

This is our lives.

This is our time.

I don't know everything but I

I stand and fight for what is right.

Nows we stand and fight

W hearts and souls and sweat right here Living Side by side

You just can't defy

The pride i hold inside.

We will never

One thing that I never did

Give up and let you win.

We will never die.

Overcome and defy

Any and everything and I.

I Stand up and fight for what is right.

Nows we stand and fight

W hearts and souls and sweat right here Living Side by side

You just can't defy

The words i hold inside.

We will never

[juanavalos1111]

New band. New music. M545.

[juanavalos1111]

I wrote this song in room 6A at Mercy rehabilitation center.. I didn’t have an instrument, I sat there for a week, I lived there for a week, I left maybe 30 minutes a day and slept about 3-5 hours a day but I just did not have the heart to leave my father. Even though he wasn’t with us, he was in a coma like state, I couldn’t leave him because I knew that the end was near. it was a reality that I couldn’t face. this was the most difficult song that I have ever written, and the reason why I don’t show my face and this is because I couldn’t stop crying. I miss him more than anything and nobody will really ever know because I keep everything to myself. I don’t express what I’m really feeling inside. Nonetheless, the song will never be heard or played out, it’ll just live here in the land of the unknown.

[juanavalos1111]

Ozzie. What can we say. We love him. He’s an a hole sometimes. Total Napoleon syndrome. But he’s adorable.

[juanavalos1111]

Kauai, Hawaii. #kauai #hawaii #waimeacanyon #canyon #ourtimetravel #wanderlust #bucketlist #travel #travelandlife #wishiwasthere #life #trip #journey #quest #globetrotting #voyage #dream #discover #explore #explorer #beautiful #ilovetravel #traveladdict #instatravel #traveltheworld #chasingtheworld #whereverimayroam #hawaiistatepark #statepark

[juanavalos1111]

Amalfi Coast, Italy. Courtesy of jjfirle. #ourtimetravel #wanderlust #bucketlist #travel #travelandlife #wishiwastherenow #life #trip #journey #dream #discover #roam #live #love #liveinthemoment #beautiful #ilovetravel #memories #thegoodlife #traveltheworld #chasingtheworld #europe #amalfi #amalficoast #italy #italia #southernitaly #unesco #positano #ravello

[juanavalos1111]

History, beaches, phenomenal food!!! Just a few reasons to visit Greece!!! #ourtimetravel #wanderlust #travel #travelandlife #life #trip #journey #globetrotting #dream #discover #beautiful #ilovetravel #tourism #tourist #traveltheworld #chasingtheworld #greece #europe #mykonos #santorini #rhodes

[juanavalos1111]

Istanbul. Turkey. #ourtimetravel #travel #travelandlife #traveltheworld #travelandleisure #ilovetravel #bucketlist #istanbul #turkey #cistern #basilica #constantinople #seetheworld #mystery

[juanavalos1111]

It is almost time to say Aloha to 2015! Thank you to everyone for making 2015 such a great year and we look forward to new adventures, new travels and making new memories in 2016! #ourtimetravel #travel #traveladdict #travelandlife #traveltheworld #travelandleisure #hawaii #luau #hawaiianislands #hawaiianstyle #paradise #seetheworld #aloha #grassskirt #wanderlust