joeyfromquotev

[joeyfromquotev]

Ukrainian Outpost in South Chernarus, 2023 ( image is fake )

[joeyfromquotev]

No one will probably see this but eh, I have stopped caring about notes and reblogs and stuff.

Today I gave a huge speech in a game of World of tanks Blitz. While I gave the speech I was of course inactive and my team was losing. Then as soon as my speech ended, me and the random 3 surviving players just cleaned the dirt with the enemies blood.

My speech went like this-

"Im honored to have the opportunity to lead you today gentlemen."

" I girl "

" Alright, I'm honored to have the opportunity to lead you today gentlemen and one lady with a french tank. Today we fight as men, and a one very brave woman. Follow me into the warzone and have heart, the day shall be ours! "

At this point the match started.

" Let's fight and either emerge victorious or die a hero! for living isn't worth it if we live as babes who suckle on their dear mothers' teats, no one can live like that forever! FOORWARD!" when my speech ended somebody took out the girl in the french tank and then the remaining tankers, including yours truly destroyed the enemy.

[joeyfromquotev]

His First Ride

My family and I were taking the new family car for a spin down a road that goes through a forest. I told my parents, “Hey! Why don’t we take Atom with us on the drive? He’ll have some fun too. Poor boy’s been stuck at home for two years.” Then My mom told me, “We don’t really have his sleeping pills right now, he’ll just puke in the new car like he puked 2 years ago when we took him to the stadium.” And I, being a loving brother and whatnot, convinced her otherwise and took my dog atom on his first car ride where he hasn’t been asleep since the incident (that’s a story for another time)

At 2PM we left the house. The dog was loaded into the back of the car along with me. I looked into his eyes and saw pure terror. “Don’t worry, I got you.”, I told him as I stroked his head. The car pulled out of the drive way and headed towards the forest road.

At first everything was fine, he was looking out of the windows, sticking his head out and listening to politics on the radio like all good dogs do while riding in cars.

Then my dad hit the brakes, and well, he crashed on to me and then onto the floor!

That's my dog falling onto me while i was trying to click his picture.

He was so scared of that fall that he actually tried to dig a hole to hide in inside the car. The I pulled him back onto the seat and whispered in his ear, “Don’t worry… I’ll save ya… I just wasn’t prepared at that moment.”. He bought it and TRIED to calm himself down. I told my dad to go easy on the brakes. Atom tried to relax but he just couldn’t. How could he!? When there was an invisible hand somewhere in the car trying to push him off the seats at every turn?

He's trying to relax. Can you see the fear in his eyes though?

Anyway, the rest of the ride was quite uneventful. Unless my dad shouting and speeding two wheelers excites you of course.

Atom came home and looked pretty pleased with himself. And why shouldn’t he have been proud of himself? He went on a car ride and didn’t puke his guts out! That was huge achievement!

To reward himself he pissed on my grandma’s roses. And for once, no one was pissed at him ( pun intended haha )

[joeyfromquotev]

I published this!!!!

[joeyfromquotev]

OH YEAH BABY! 10 posts!

[joeyfromquotev]

* insert philosophical sounding music * aren't we always at war? With our surroundings. Our rivals at work. Microbes. Our own bodies.  War, is something so deeply embedded in humanity, nay, nature, that it is impossible to have never been a combatant in a war. A war starts every time an egg is fought for by a man's seed for having a chance to grow a healthy progeny in the womb. And I believe that the war that is called life, ends only when you are pushing the daisies and are comfortable in a tomb.

[joeyfromquotev]

The hunter almost became the hunted

[joeyfromquotev]

Hi, joeyfromquotev, how are you? 😘😘😘

doing good, you?

[joeyfromquotev]

 Learn how Avery Hostein, an OC I intend to write more about, died.

[joeyfromquotev]

Alarm clock: * random loud beeping noises *

Me: * looks at the clock and sees that I am late for my online classes *

[joeyfromquotev]

Myers: *kills a random dude*

Ghostie: Wazzaap!!

Myers: *heavy breathing*

Ghostie: I have been observing you, for like a looong time. I'm a big fan! can I get picture with you? pweaase?

Myers: *Heavy breathing*

Ghostie: imma take that as a yes! *pulls out camera* Say wazzzzaapp!!

Myers: *heavy breathing*

[joeyfromquotev]

Sally Smithson AKA The Nurse

[joeyfromquotev]

A Vampire Story

"Dimitri...wait up! Wait!" "Ge-get away from me woman!" "Dimitri would you leave me just because of who- what I am ?" "You.Are.Nothing.But.A.Monster!! go away or else I shall tell all the villagers." "I expected more from you Dimitri. I didn't want to be born like this...like  part succubus part wurdulac." "Go away Anastasia! Begone" "Fine."  That was my first mistake. I was foolhardy. I pushed away my childhood love just because she was a vampire. I should have sensed the truth in her voice. i should have known that...that she didn't want to live like she had to.  My second? Trying to find her and make amends. I trudged all over Russia to find her. to tell her that I was sorry. After i walked through out the motherland for 3 years encountering various witches and werewolves and vampires a peasant finally told me that a female vampire resided in Pidhirtsi, Ukraine. I suddenly had high hopes about meeting her. All of the vampires i met in the past were male. A female vampire. Must be her. I went back to my hometown and visited the local market and bought garlic and rose petals from my friend Petrichko. "Hey Dimitri! Going to hunt vampires, eh?" "Something like that, Petrichko." "You mustn't go friend. I was just joking! Don't Go!" "Petrichko...the I killed the werewolves in Siberia and the black forests near Moscow! I think I can handle my self." "Don't go Dimitri... you killing those were wolves can't be the truth, Van Helsing must have. And even if you did kill them...Vampires are worse than werewolves." "Just give me what I asked for." "OK friend but I hope you snap out of this lunatic episode you are having." Anyway. I then travelled back to Pidhirsti. On my way to the castle i bought some Holy Water and some stakes. I thought I was ready. Boy, I was not. I entered the the crumbling castle with a lit torch, I knew it wouldn't help me but at least it would let me see my way. I walked up the old staircase towards the upper levels of this vampire's residence. As I reached the first floor a hissing sound emanated from all around me. The acoustics of the castle didn't allow me to pin point the location of the noise. i searched the floor, the walls, the ceilings for any signs of the creature that was rumored to live there. " What aaareee yoou doing here Dimiitri?" I whipped around and saw Anastasia. her full lips red with blood. " i said what are you doing here!!??" "I- I've come to apologize...I shouldn't have driven you away." "yoou thhhiink that these sweet talks will stop me from killing you...you think that after you broke my hear i should just forget everything?" "no...no, you have every right to be angry. but please forgive me...I'll do anything" "Anything, you say?" she asked. "yes...anything for you." "then come here...I wont kill you...let me touch you." I walked towards her and she leaned forward to kiss me... then I felt her fangs dig into my lips...fiery liquid being released from them into my blood stream. The Vampire's Poison. I lost consciousness...  I didn't  know how much time passed, but it was dark when i woke up. I touched my skin...hard and cold as stone. my eyes...a satanic red. " know you are like me...prove to me that you are a good man, serve me and then I'll forgive you." We spent years together since then and our relationship changed from master and slave to friends and then more...

Dimitri: 93 years later I made my third mistake.               I became your father. Anastasia: don't worry kids, your father doesn't mean that! Dimitri: I do actually! all the time moaning about video games and that book twilight! That book is a blot on the name of vampires! Anastasia: OK kids story time is over, go read some real vampire literature and complete your revision on human anatomy, daddy will take your test and for the love of all that is holy! Mika if you write that the best way for vampiric sustenance is animals and blood bags then we'll disown you... your father and I have some work. now go away! Mika: I.Want.To.Be.A.Vegan.Vampire!!!! Mikhail: Mom, will you make out with dad!? Dimitri: This doesn't concern you Mikhail!

[joeyfromquotev]

The Sacrifice

It happened when I was working as an Assistant Librarian at the local public library. The job didn’t pay much but it was enough to pay for my gaming hobby and the perks that came with it actually made it quite a good job. I was surrounded by books, in a cool and dry environment with wifi…what more could I ask for. The members of the library were pretty cool too, except for some oddballs like the occasional Karen or miscreant. There was a kid. I knew him only by the name Gale, but I doubt that it was ever his real name. I distinctly remember that he had some weird tattoos on his face and hands. He used to wear a dark sweatshirt and would look for random books. Books which weren’t related at all. He would always ask me, out of the 10 person staff, to help him find the books he would ask for. In retrospect I should have vary of the fact that he would ask for books located in the secluded areas of the establishment, but hindsight is 20-20. One day I asked him, “Are you on a quest or something? You come here every day asking for random books, books not even related to the ones you would ask for the day before.” He replied in a low voice, it was a voice of lunacy, “Yes. Sort of” . Suddenly he whipped his around and I felt a jab in my neck. Before even I could touch my neck, my vision got hazy and I passed out. I woke up in a dirty barn type of structure there was hay all around me and in front of me there were two dog bowls, one had water and another had some chopped carrots and sprouts. There was a crack in the structure’s roof and I could see it was evening, something around 5 or 6 PM. Before I was kidnapped, it had been 7PM. A whole day had passed between me passing out and waking up. I could hear some unclear chanting and banging. I tried to get up, fast, but suddenly fell flat on my butt. I was tied to a wooden post. I was trapped. Sometime passed, I could hear owls hooting and dogs howling… the sky was dark. Suddenly the barn’s door creaked open. Standing at the door was Gale and two other men. They were in white robes with medieval looking torches in hand. The boy quietly said something to one of them. And one of the men handed Gale his torch and moved towards. Their robes looked familiar. Then something clicked in my mind; the robes were sacrificial ceremony robes of the Druids. The man kicked me right in the boobs, which made me clutch my chest in pain. I was incapacitated. I wasn’t used to being hit anywhere. The man took out a jack knife cut my ropes and slung me over his shoulder like a doll. He spoke in some strange tongue to the boy and started walking out of the barn. The boy and the other man shut the doors of the barn and followed the man, carrying me over his shoulder. I tried to squirm and kicking, trying to loosen his grip on me. But he had the grip of a Grizzly bear. He carried me into the nearby woods. There was some light emanating from deep in the forest. There were pine trees all around. I started crying silently. I wasn’t going to bawl in front of them. We came closer to the light source and now I could hear some chanting. There were men and women in robes looking at me as if I was going to do something great, like fly or something.

This gathering was in an O shape. They were standing around a rectangular stone slab, which had those medieval torches jutting out of  its 4 vertices. The man put me down on the stone slab and two women tied my hands to two torches and two men tied my feet to two other torches. I was in a spread eagle position. The torches were sturdy. I tried to pull at them but they wouldn’t budge.  An old, wrinkled man cam along with two old women. Then two men brought along a pot filled with hot coals. Under it was a lit fire. The two men bowed and went away. This hold time the chants were increasing in their volumes and speed. The old man motioned to the two old women and they stripped me of my clothes. One of them took a knife and cut of my T shirt and bra in a single slash and then pulled them off. The other woman did the same with my shorts and panties. I was stark naked my breasts and nether regions exposed. The old man smiled at me spoke loudly to the crowd,  “Habemus virgo tibi hodie satanas. Accipe quod offerimus, et nos in pace relinquere!”

The chanting became more frantic and loud. I then saw that he had put the knife’s blade in the pot full of hot coals. He menacingly held the knife, and came close to me. He put one of his hands on my pelvic region and bent down. “ P-Please no… don’t please” I pleaded, crying loudly at this point. He smiled and said, “ I won’t molest you child. We need a virgin of  German descent for our ceremony. We won’t defile you.” Then he reached for my breasts with knife in hand made a cut under each of them. I was racked with pain. Not only did the cutting hurt, but the knife was hot! I was crying like a baby now, pleading to them to leave me.

My blood was bubbling on the hot knife and then he tilted the knife over the pot and I heard my blood sizzle. The blood was flowing down towards my legs and had reached my hips. Then the old man stuck his hand in the pot and pulled out a piece of coal. He came towards my head and drew something on my forehead. He burnt the image of a upside down cross. I screamed like a banshee. My forehead was burning up. He then shouted to the crowd, “Ave satana, Nos, ut sisterent hanc virginem!”

He then picked up, from the ground, a blunt stone knife with a handle made of black wood and red rubies. He looked at me and told me, “Be brave.” “ Noooo!!!” I screamed and I saw him bringing the knife to my forehead…then my vision vent dark and the last thing I saw were pieces of my brain spraying in all directions and my blood, running down my face.

“Well now you know, Tom, how I died. I died because of a freaking cult” ,Avery said. “Now it’s your turn. How did you die?” "Well" Tom said, "I was killed by a possessed mall." "Really!?" Avery asked. "Yup... but that's a story for another day." Tom told her. Then the sun came up and the two two spirits had to rush back into their graves to avoid getting burnt.

[joeyfromquotev]

She inherited incredible fury from her ancestors. The wrath that flows through her veins is her legacy. The terrible pain she suffered set it off. Swift and lethal, The Spirit exacts her revenge endlessly.