jatp-angst-week

[jatp-angst-week]

Today is the last day of @jatp-angst-week. I can’t believe I wrote seven fics for this event and I can’t believe it’s OVER 😭 Today’s “flangst” fic is a Reggie & Ray one, so I hope you like it! 

I just want to say thank you to everyone who participated in Angstravaganza in any way, writing or drawing or gif-making or moodboarding or even just LOOKING at and reading the content. And I want to say thank you to @futurearchaeologyprof @phantom-curve @angelofarts @flynn-taylor (who, despite complaining that she was sucked in against her will, LOVED PLANNING ANGST WEEK), and @fandomscraziness22, who are the best friends ever and always support me on my pain-causing life path 😂 

Preview: 

There’s never really been anybody in his life – an adult, anyway – that’s taken Reggie and his friends as they were. As kids who were still figuring their lives out. Kids who loved music, who loved each other, who thought that that was the most important thing in the world. 

Until Ray Molina. 

Ray is everything Reggie’s always ached for and everything that he can’t have. Because Reggie is dead. He’s not a son; he’s not a teenager. He’s not alive. If he were, he’d be practically Ray’s age already. Ray shouldn’t have to take Reggie on as a responsibility; Reggie could never add on another layer of parental obligation and worry when the man is already a widowed father of two. Two living children, who are still growing and changing and need their father to help process the difficulties of everyday life. 

Admitting that he needs Ray would be selfish.

And yet… 

There’s nothing Reggie wants more than to be a part of that family. To have Ray’s unconditional support and love and to give that all back, too. To really be able to consider Julie (and Carlos) his siblings. 

To be a Molina, in every sense of the word. 

[jatp-angst-week]

The Vagabond

Summary: Two days before Bobby loses the three most important people in his life, he starts writing a song with one of them.

Link in reblogs!

[jatp-angst-week]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Alex Mercer/Willie, Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters Characters: Julie Molina, Luke Patterson, Alex Mercer, Reggie Peters, Willie Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, jatp angst week 2021

While serving as a volunteer nurse in France during The Great War, Julie meets three soldiers who are immediately something special to her. A few months later, she meets them again under far worse circumstances.

Meanwhile, Luke keeps a journal about his experience.

[jatp-angst-week]

Angst Week Day Seven

AAAAAAA, today is the last day of Angst Week!!

Prompt: Flangst (Fluff & Angst)

As a wind-down for all the angst, and so that @flynn-taylor​ doesn’t completely disown all of us, create something with both fluffy and angsty elements! Think of flangst as a reverse sour patch kid - first it’s sweet, and then it’s sour. This type of angst is meant to be interwoven with moments of soft fluff. As our resident anti-angst mod has so lovingly referred to it, this is a bit of fluff deception.

As a reminder, we are accepting all fan works (fics, mood boards, playlists, artwork, a synopsis for a fic you might never write, etc.) and our mods will be double checking all submissions to be sure they’re in line with our rules before reblogging/posting them! You can find a list of rules here. All submissions should be tagged on tumblr using #jatp angst week and on AO3 using #JATP Angst Week 2021 (please also add your fics to our AO3 Collection!). We hope you’re all ready to scream and cry and break each other’s hearts over and over again!

Since today's the last day, we just want to say thank you to everyone who participated in any way: creating, reading, sharing fanworks, loving the show... Angst Week wouldn't have happened without you! Let's continue giving this show the love it deserves!

[jatp-angst-week]

My fic for day six of @jatp-angst-week – Character-centric day! – is up now on ao3!! Luke angst my beloved <3 

Preview:  

Luke never would have expected this from Bobby.

He remembers the many late nights spent in his friend’s garage, throwing darts at the board on the wall with a little too much force, pacing back and forth wildly as he ranted about Emily – as he poured his heart out in a way that he rarely did. Not to Reggie or Alex… not to anybody, really, but Bobby. Who back then had listened with wide eyes and just spit out the most obvious solutions to all of Luke’s problems. Solutions that, no matter how much Luke hated him for suggesting, always turned out to be exactly what he needed.

He wishes that Bobby had fought harder with him the morning of the Orpheum. He wishes he’d invited his parents to the stupid show, after all.

Bobby always had his best interests at heart. He was the annoying parent-friend, but his intentions had always been pure. He was the quiet friend; he often got drowned out by his friends’ louder personalities, particularly Reggie’s and Luke’s, but Luke never thought that he minded too much. He was always the one who would just listen in silence and then come up with the one solution that nobody else had thought of. He was sharp as a tack; he never missed much. He remembered things that no one else did.

Luke’s… never been the greatest with other people’s feelings. But how could he not have seen that something was obviously wrong? Did Bobby ever really like him at all? Was he really their friend? Or was he just using Luke – and Reggie and Alex – the entire time, tagging along just for the fame and fortune?

Would he have still stabbed them in the back if they’d lived?

[jatp-angst-week]

Character day for @jatp-angst-week goes to Alex!!

Alex loves being able to use his drums as an extension of himself. Sometimes he pretends his anxieties are laid out on each piece of the set. The thoughts of being dead? Clang, the symbols go. The hidden fear that his friends will turn on him for liking boys? Thump, his foot hits the pedal of the bass drum. He whacks the high and medium toms, pretending he’s beating back the questions of why and how and who and where. Those questions are different depending on the days, but he places them all onto the drums, letting himself get lost in the rhythms he creates. The anxiety backs down, the fear recedes, and he finds the enjoyment in keeping tempo for his friends.

It’s all going great, until they reach the bridge.

Based off of this post, so thank you @till-our-stars-collided for the idea!

[jatp-angst-week]

because your life could change in a single snap;

a first look into the end of my rope universe

coming soon to an ao3 near you…

When Alex was fourteen, he learned that the strings were an undeniable truth. When he was fifteen, he learned that his heart was nothing to give too quickly. When he was sixteen, he learned that his parents will do anything to avoid facing that they have a gay son. And when he was seventeen, he learned not to pull on things that could easily break.

[Or alternatively, a first look into Alex’s journey from the moment he sees the strings to the moment he breaks his own.]

as long as it’s @jatp-angst-week​, i may as well give a sneak peak into the angstiest fic i got! thanks to @the-sunshine-queen​ for drawing the broken string onto this fun little edit i got here and making it 8x better than i could ever imagine it being! the snippet in the image will be under the cut and the taglist will be in the reblogs!

[tw: detailed description of a panic attack, vague implications of homophobia/not-so-great world views from alex’s parents]

Keep reading

[jatp-angst-week]

Angst Week Day Six

We’re almost at the end of the week! Today we’re focusing on our favorite cast of characters.

Prompt: Character-centric

Create something based around one character, a study if you will. Do you want to explore what it must have been like for Alex living with his parents after coming out? Maybe you’d rather delve into Luke’s fights with Emily or Julie dealing with the aftermath of Rose’s death? Would you like to experience a day/night in Reggie’s house or wonder why Willie is so afraid of Caleb? Today is the day for you! Can be pre, during, or post canon.

As a reminder, we are accepting all fan works (fics, mood boards, playlists, artwork, a synopsis for a fic you might never write, etc.) and our mods will be double checking all submissions to be sure they’re in line with our rules before reblogging/posting them! You can find a list of rules here. All submissions should be tagged on tumblr using #jatp angst week and on AO3 using #JATP Angst Week 2021 (please also add your fics to our AO3 Collection!). We hope you’re all ready to scream and cry and break each other’s hearts over and over again!

[jatp-angst-week]

My fic for day five of @jatp-angst-week (Hurt/Comfort Day) is up on ao3!!

Preview:

Bobby is sitting on Ray and Rose’s living room floor, clutching a bottle of whiskey, with no idea how he got there.

A sound at the front door brings his attention rushing back to him, and his glassy eyes find Rose as she walks through the doorway, a grocery bag on her hip and her boyfriend on her heels.  

Ray Molina’s been in the picture for a while now; Bobby hasn’t been the best with time lately, so he’s not sure exactly when, but he knows Rose started dating him not too long after the Orpheum. He remembers, because that was when he was still in his ‘not getting out of bed’ phase, and Rose would always peek her head in the door and ask him if he wanted her to stay behind instead of leaving him there alone.  

He always said no; he figured he needed to get used to being alone eventually.

But Rose never left him; and soon enough, Ray became a constant presence in his life, too.

And while he’s a really nice person, Bobby kind of hates it. Because Ray wasn’t around for the whole Orpheum fiasco. He didn’t see what Bobby was like before, when he actually had life in him. All that’s left of Bobby now is a hollow shell; he doesn’t have anything of himself left to give to new people. He can’t make a good impression. He’s still struggling to convince people that he can keep his head above the water, and the facade he feels like he has to keep up for Ray and Rose’s sake is exhausting.

“Bobby…?”

Bobby’s eyes follow the sound of the voice, and he sees Rose standing in the doorway, looking at him in concern. He watches as she sets the bag of groceries down on the counter and takes a cautious step towards him, her eyes wide.

“How much have you had to drink?”

[jatp-angst-week]

JATP Angstravaganza Day 5 - Hurt/Comfort

“When getting up is almost painful (but peach juice gives a little comfort)”

I don’t write angst, but when I do it’s sad shit like this.

This is for the @jatp-angst-week, thank you for everyone who organized this and @flynn-taylor, I am sorry.

So get some tea (or juice) make sure you’re in a good mind space and then have fun (or don’t) reading this. 

Willex. 4.1k words. Rated T. Warnings - symptoms of depression, mentions of SH and suicide, but only in the sense that it’s not the case.

 Willie leaned against the door while turning the key. He gave it a little push with his shoulder to open it, still struggling a little even after almost half a year of living there.

 He had already been tired from his last college class of the day, of the week, but had still gone out for a snack with his friends from university to celebrate the weekend. So he was completely drained now, and yet he couldn’t help the smile spreading from cheek to cheek. He had to hold a presentation in one of his classes today and got almost only good feedback, so he’d been glowing with pride the entire day. He’d texted Alex right after, but hadn’t gotten a response yet, so he could not wait to tell him everything.

 The apartment was quiet when he arrived, which was probably the first sign. But Willie was too busy in his mind to notice the implications. He would’ve liked swooping Alex into a happy dance to whatever song he would have played from the kitchen radio, but his feet, having carried him around all day, didn’t mind that it didn’t happen.

 He toed off his vans and pushed them next to Alex’s sneakers and saw that they were still in the exact position they were when Willie left this morning. Which was the second sign and this time Willie noticed it. He frowned and nudged them with his foot. They were dry and it had been pouring outside all day, the shoes really hadn’t left the house today. So, neither had Alex.

Read the rest on AO3 (link and taglist in the reblog)

[jatp-angst-week]

I didn’t intend to do this, but I wrote a follow-up to yesterday’s fic, so here’s hurt/comfort day for @jatp-angst-week

Everyone else is broken, so Alex can’t be. Someone needs to step up, and he volunteers himself for the task.

He knows, of course, that if he said this in so many words, everyone would be quick to take the burden from him. His anxiety aside, he knows that doing things alone isn’t the Molina style. Or Julie and the Phantoms’ style either. A small part of him knows that if Julie could see him, she would give him a soft smile and remind him that they are a family, and families don’t shoulder these heavy burdens alone.

But Alex shoves imaginary Julie to the back of his mind. He has to do this, because he doesn’t know what will happen if he doesn’t.

[jatp-angst-week]

He Said Screw It I’ma Smile Right Through It (And I’ll Scream When No One’s Around)

Summary: There are some things that Reggie Peters is very good at. The bass, for one. Being a good friend, for two. Most of the things he’s good at he’s proud of, like math and writing music and memorizing fun facts about animals. Then there are some things he’s less proud of, like his uncanny ability to soothe away any suspicion that he’s anything less than okay with a smile and a well-timed joke. He’s working on that one, but the one upside is that he’s also very good at seeing when someone else is doing the same thing.

For hurt/comfort day of @jatp-angst-week!

Link in reblogs!

[jatp-angst-week]

Angst Week Day Five

We’ve made it more than halfway through the week! How’s your heart? Are you staying hydrated through the tears?? We’re making up for the pain of death day yesterday with a side of comfort today!

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Today’s the day to put somebody Through It™, and have someone else there for support! This can be either physical or emotional hurt/comfort. Think sickfics, heartbreak, death day anniversaries, guilt spirals, misplaced blame or post-fight comfort (both verbal and physical fights are okay as long as any physical scenes aren’t graphic).

As a reminder, we are accepting all fan works (fics, mood boards, playlists, artwork, a synopsis for a fic you might never write, etc.) and our mods will be double checking all submissions to be sure they’re in line with our rules before reblogging/posting them! You can find a list of rules here. All submissions should be tagged on tumblr using #jatp angst week and on AO3 using #JATP Angst Week 2021 (please also add your fics to our AO3 Collection!). We hope you’re all ready to scream and cry and break each other’s hearts over and over again!

[jatp-angst-week]

before the dark

In which Luke doesn’t remember the last time he ate until it’s too late, because he buried himself in writing songs, in furious attempts to drown out the mountain of regret that blocks his path whenever he gives himself space to do anything other than music; so he makes one final mistake.

In which Alex has been sleeping on a variety of worn out couches of people who he doesn’t know, because it’s still safer than trying to go back home, than going back to parents who tell him over and over again that he will die, and he is so damn tired; so he doesn’t check the locks again.

In which Reggie and his brother haven’t eaten all day, because their mother left them in the only vaguely familiar Malibu apartment of her friend, because of course their parents couldn’t stop fighting again, and Reggie knows they really need food; so he doesn’t see when the pier ends.

yet another fic coming to an ao3 near you sometime in the future, a prequel for the ‘fall into the dark’ verse in which the boys meet for the first time in the dark room. teasing in honour of @jatp-angst-week day four, death day.

tag list under cut

Keep reading

[jatp-angst-week]

does it keep you in control? (for you to keep him in a cage?) (oneshot)

pairing: willie/alex written for @jatp-angst-week day four: death day cws: death, violence, blood

Caleb sure has a cruel, twisted sense of humor, and for a moment Alex wonders if he’s watching them. Willie’s cut off by a bright flash against the side of his head, and he gasps, suddenly lurching forward as one hand moves to press against his temple.

Or, Willie re-experiences his death.

link to ao3 in reblogs!

[jatp-angst-week]

So, it’s death day today…. so here ya go! @jatp-angst-week

It happens so fast.

One minute, Luke’s watching Julie as she sings her heart out on stage. Completely mesmerized by her talent and her beauty.

Looking back later, Luke thinks that’s what the problem was. He’s always been too enamoured by Julie–too amazed by her to realize she wasn’t indestructible. She wasn’t permanent. She was fragile, even; more so than he was, because he was already dead. She never seemed breakable; the wrecking ball of talent was the one doing the destruction, breaking hearts with tragic songs and blowing minds with her incredible voice. He forgot that Julie, no matter how tough she seemed, still needed to be protected.

Accidents could still happen.

[jatp-angst-week]

Day Four of @jatp-angst-week is “Death Day”… so, here are the guys eating some weird hot dogs! 

Preview: 

The burning pain spreads like poison ivy, from his stomach, crawling back up his intestines like a vine and inching its way back up his throat. It’s slow and lingering – and honestly, getting more concerning by the second. Alex glances to his right once again, to see if his friends are feeling the same, and finds that the discomfort is slowly making itself known on their faces, too. Luke’s nose is scrunched in displeasure, and Reggie’s staring down at the last bite of his hot dog with wide eyes, looking like it’s betrayed him, or something.

So… they feel it too. There was definitely something wrong with the hot dogs – the fact that they were both made and purchased out of the back of a car seemed like it was a solid indicator, come to think of it.

“Um�� yeah,” Alex coughs lightly, clearing some unswallowed hot dog out of his throat. “There’s definitely something wrong here. I feel–”

“I feel like I’ve spent all day riding a rollercoaster again,” Reggie groans. “Everything’s all spinny and – and I don’t feel so good.”

“What the hell was in those things?” Luke gasps. His friend’s face is reddening; his jaw’s clenched, like any sudden movement will send the contents of his stomach right back up the way they came.