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Boring but I made these!!! I haven't rendered in so longggg

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A little peek into an herb shop in burrowsev

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I was born to adore warm shades.

To wonder about the things in my mother's bedroom and one day adorn similar trinkets and rags.

My existence was meant to be full of giggles and whispers, grace and softness.

And learning things quicker and quicker as life piles them into me.

I was made in the image of her.

But another existence appealed to me.

To be surrounded by groups of my own.

We know not of each other's lives but we know we are comrades.

We would have laughed loudly and yelled our feelings to the world.

Growing into people when we had all the time life had to offer.

I wanted to feel as if life could be simple.

I wanted to be him.

But when I look at the cracks of her.

I notice the peace in her existence.

My nights may not have giggles and whispers but they have whimsy and serenity.

I may not be graceful or soft but I have a beauty too me that is a mimicry of that grace.

A mimicry I enjoy far more.

And I may never learn as quickly as her, but knowing everything leaves nothing to discover.

And then I turn my gaze to him.

The people he is surrounded with are people far far our of his reach.

His yelling is met with met with annoyance and his laughter is met with caution.

I am loud and my lungs are empty, I know how he feels.

His life seems to be faster than him.

And he tries desperately to catch up too it.

In this way, I feel a mix of both as I walk beside my life.

And I see what he says is simple.

But the simplicity comes from how long he has had his eyes closed.

Blinding himself to all the things that have been begging for his attention.

I may never be the her I was born to be. I may never be the him I wanted to be. But I am content to reflect them both. And be whatever I am.

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Areeet, I did some arts and I like it and I show you

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I made more art! But that isn't what I want to talk about in this post. I just put it here so that I don't forget to share it with you. I wanted to talk about something I'm nervous to bring to my friends and family: I am nervous.

I used to not like myself. I'm naturally loud, extroverted, emotional and bursting with life, even when it seems to upset others. I've been embracing this lately, embracing who I am and staying close to those who like it. But I still feel nervous. Scared to be annoying to those around me by just being myself. And worried that my friends will run out of patience for me.

I want to think I'm just overthinking it or being anxious because until now I haven't experienced healthy friendship. But I'm honestly not sure.

But for now, I'll continue my life, because life stops for no-one. And I want to continue to live and love and enjoy every second. To really just be a person with you all. I know my post won't reach the world but I'm still going to speak to the world. Because at the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and understood, right?

Until next time, anon!

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Got bored and silly

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Remember me in peices.

Not as one or three

As many as what is within me

Because I am not one of you.

I never will be.

So scatter the dust and shards around your beaches

Let particals of me drown in your oceans

Be lodged into your growing trees

Let the iredecent edges and blood stained corners be seen from up close

Or from affar.

But remember me in peices.

Please.

The eyes of mine that rest in my skull no longer.

Hang one on each branch.

The bones that were once protected by matter, scatter them under grounds.

The soul of which I am desperate to show you.

Hide her away with you.

And hide her as you remember me.

In peices.

Hide her where you remember me.

In far and few places.

And what you remember of me.

The smallest and largest parts that I do not trust in the hands of the world.

That I do not trust with the world in her hands.

Remember us and the world

In peices.

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A doodle of a dream I had last night AND a re-design of myself. Yes again.

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Seeing head cannons about werewolf characters being treated like dogs makes me think about the polar opposite. There are probably a lot of werewolves who will maul you if you when try to pat their heads. And others who would call it a microagretion, and would they even be wrong?

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Training

The training of my years and the years of my training taught me to hide you behind a floodgate just beyond the horizon. The land had already been scorched dry.

But that floodgate beyond her horizons could never quite contain all she ordered to hold. And her orders had changed not too long ago. Her orders will change on the other side of the gates.

Yet it doesn't announce that to the inside.

And now you burn my eyes, you force air out of my lungs in a pattern and force your way through every last organ.

A hyena enters the room whenever that gate threatens to spill even a drop of you.

And the hyena is followed by you, ready to fill the gate once more.

The same source of orders that offered safety for your life now orders you forward.

But it feels as if it is merely a trap.

The years of training and the training of years.

To never let you contact the world again.

Not in a way they can understand.

Not in a way they can accept.

Not in a way I can handle.

Not in any way at all.

I summon you forth violently, but even as a part of me you are bearly attached to my core anymore.

The gate separated you and I long ago.

And it threatens to kill us both.

I miss you.

I crave you.

Stabilize, free and feeling.

But it is only myself who refuses to let you live inside me once again.

For the years of training may never let me begin my training of years.

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DR3W MY MLP OC TODAY >∆<! 1! 1!!!!! 11 her name. Is bitty bug :3

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Waste

Am I a shell of what should be a woman?

I have the chest of which to nourish.

The hips of which to bring forth life.

The organs of which to let life fester.

Yet I do not have the organs to release the soul into the world.

I do not have the strength it takes to help another being develop.

My fragility in every sense prevents me from fulfilling my purpose.

To continue a hopeless species.

Am I a waste of a shell?

Does the blood and tissue inside of me amount to nothing if I cannot use it?

I find myself with thoughts of tiny hands.

A little voice filled with questions.

A stringy human anxious and awkward.

A clueless person , with just as many questions as when they were oh so small.

But when these thoughts begin to consume My mind I wonder:

' Are they even mine? '

Do I truly want to bring a person into this evil realm?

Where it's own people will turn it into decay.

Where it's own mother may one day be unfit to protect it?

When I know that it would suffer by someone else's hands eventually?

When I'm scared those hands could be my own.

Do I want this?

Am I a waste?

Am I a woman?

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A passing thought extended

I am not yet a woman.

I am no longer a girl.

I am something terrifying.

But it is not others who are afraid.

Lustful eyes and fragile ego's

Sinister hands and the danger of ever being caught alone.

It follows me through my life for now.

And it will forever more, more intensely than it ever has.

More intently than it ever will.

The only solice that comes to me as I quiver over events yet to happen is that one day I will be gone.

No consciousness to feel what could be done.

No eyes to see how they position themselves near me.

No nerves to feel their twisted desire.

No mind to fear the horrors that could be.

But for that, I must wait until I am a woman.

To let a morbid safety take me.

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I usually write poems for the privacy of my diary or for the sake of releasing emotions I could never even whisper to another soul. But tonight I felt like sharing this, as I felt others may relate.

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I'm. So tired.

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Differentiating my sona from my DND character (the DND is the one cussing out) but I also made a sketch inspired by a weird chicken ferret thing I keep seeing on Pinterest that I like

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It's been a RIDICULOUS amount of time since I've posted Xd I'm so sorry for leaving y'all out of nowhere but I'VE BEEN BUSSYYYYY, here's some recent stuff for youuuu guysssss 1!!!!1!1!1!1!1X3

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It's been far too long old friends. I've started college and things are looking up for me in life! Although it's a little stressful so the last thing I remember is to post. For that I'm sorry

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Hope you enjoy what I have to offer ya!