jamiegracewinchester-blog

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

When you open an exam paper and can’t even answer the first question

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly (part 1 of 2)

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Me: Oh my god I just thought of something amazing!

Friend: *sigh* What, Mackenzie?

Me: My friends that are girls are my besties with breasties!

Friend: And what are your friends that are guys?

Me: *smirks* Beasties with testies.

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

This my new favorite cover, oh my god this is amazing!

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New Discovery

Apparently, it's not socially acceptable to my friends to be obsessed with mustaches. (You know who you are you swine.)

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I’ve brought this upon myself.

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At a play

Me: Oh this is a really nice family play, I wonder if-

Performer: Oh yeah! (Rips off their pants to reveal very small undergarments.)

Me: *blinks rapidly*

Friend: They went Magic Mike all over this thang!

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

#Iscaredmyfatherwithmysquealofhappiness

Goodbye Dr. Oliver Thompson, Hello Dr. Jacob Stone!

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

“I know what death looks like, and she doesn’t look like you, she looks like me”

“See, I have this gift, and it lets me calculate everything, see everything”

“You won it, without a doubt”

”You already have saved me”

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Flynn’s face is like And at that moment he knew. They were f***ed.

“This room is a ticking magical time bomb”

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I love Flynn x Eve, but I can’t deny how much I really like the idea of Eve x Moriarty. Who wants to join me on this ship? S.S Eviarty?

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

Sure, Jim Moriarty is a soulless, pitiless black-eyed hell wraith, but he’s so darn cute!

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

The Cat

My friend Skypes me and I accept the call. Almost immediately, I hear the sound of a cat yowling (Yes, that is how I am describing it) and I look at the screen to see my friend and her brother, holding down their cat, and cutting off the fur around her butt. At the time I freaked out, but after they explained it, I laughed. They had to cut off the fur around the cats butt, because she was to fat to clean herself. So she always had dried poop all over her butt. I just, I can’t believe they had to resort to that. I would have gone to my parents house and been like “Happy Thursday! Take it. Take it!”

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That one friend with the fucked-up sense of humor:

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My name would be Jamie Moriarty.......shit, my name’s already been taken.

ok but what if you married whomever was on your *phone* background what would your name be

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

His name is Greg but whatever.

MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DON’T GIVE A *whispers quietly so my parents can’t hear me* frick

[jamiegracewinchester-blog]

♫ Maybe it’s photoshop... ♫

It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…