jacks-manidiary

[jacks-manidiary]

FUCK MY& GAY BAKA LIFE I& JUST REALIZED I&'M EXACTLY LIKE MEGAMIND

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Craziest thing about the "Jack Manifold Eats Soup" tag on AO3 is that I& don't even like soup

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I&'m Nihachuing out I&'m Nikimaxxing I&'m in my& Niki Nihachu era I&'m a Nikipilled Nihachucel I&'ve got that Nikicore Nihachuwave aesthetic. If there are a million Niki fans then I& am one of them. If there are ten Niki fans then I& am one of them. If there is one Niki fan then that fan is me&. If there are no Niki fans then I& am dead. I& MISS NIKI SO MUCH

[jacks-manidiary]

It's Niki missing hours again fellas

[jacks-manidiary]

If I& am completely honest I& am certain that a large part of why I& can't activate my& catbrain again is because of the social perception. Social pressure is no doubt the thing that initially made me& stop ""pretending"" to be a cat, and it's probably what's keeping me& from becoming one again.

It's much easier to appear normal when you're bipedal, let's just say that. As it is right now, there's a big mirror right in the central hallway of our apartment, and the one time I& tried to pass by it while in an all-fours kittymode, I& cringed so hard I& wanted to curl up and die. Unless you really nitpick stuff like facial shape and eye colour, most of the time I& actually look pretty much identical to how I& used to as Jack. But looking as a cat is a near-unachievable task.

I& guess I& always kind of understood those therian maskers. A mask would probably alleviate a lot of this feeling were I& to try to lean into my& cat nature again. Honestly I& like the fluffy painted felt stuff even more than leather petplay gear, not even speaking of how much more accessible they are.

But an even better solution is to try and find a compromise. Maybe I& should instead link to a more bipedal catboy hybrid form. This honestly sounds like the best solution - I& get to seek out my& inner instincts while also not worrying about my& body shape too much.

[jacks-manidiary]

Friend has been accusing me& of not beating the kitten allegations and well. Shit man I& still haven't figured out what to do about the fact that I& spent most of my& early childhood exhibiting clear therianisms yet now I& can't for shit get into that mindset? I& am pretty cat-like (although lately I&'ve been indulging more in dog petstuffs... but that's probably more of a kink thing even when it's not about making my& dick hard). Idk maybe another Lui vs Jack duality thing?? Catgra vs Manidog? What am I& talking about

[jacks-manidiary]

no ! kinfirming will kill patient! he needs to kinsider for 2 years to live

[jacks-manidiary]

One of the (many) weird fictionkin things I have experienced is my relationship with endings.

Both my sources went on for years. I kept up with both of them regularly in their latter seasons. When they ended, I saw a version of myself finish my character arc, my story, my life. On both occasions, it was hard to shake a feeling of being... finished. Complete.

That may sound dire or distressing but it really wasn't. It felt less my life is over and more like... graduating and having no plans afterwards. It was way more weird than upsetting, and mostly just left me with this lingering sense of what am I supposed to do now?

Obviously, the answer was just to keep living my day to day life. Nothing about my material world had changed, just my inner... self-narrative? I don't really have the words for it. The feeling went away within a week or two both times, because real life just keeps on going and you can't stay in that moment forever.

Interestingly, I don't get that feeling when I revisit my sources. It only really resurfaces when there's talk of sequels or spinoffs. In those instances I always feel a disconnect because, well, that story-version of me was "finished". (There is an irony to that too, being character that came back from the dead but that's a topic for a whole other post).

I have no idea if this is a common experience amongst fictionfolk, but I'd be fascinated to hear about others' relationships with endings if they want to share.

[jacks-manidiary]

...I& finally got a taste of Manifork's grounding power again

I& wasn't even actually sad, just daydreaming some angsty shit about loneliness and all, and I& decided to reach out towards Manifork and just hold her for a bit while I& ruminate within the daydream, but immediately any sadness I& could conjure up evaporated.

Now that I& think about it, I& don't remember the last time I& was sad going to bed with Manifork in my& arms, either.

[jacks-manidiary]

Getting into TF2 as Jack Manifold is crazy like yeah yeah I&'ve heard the unfunny comparisons between me& and Scout since forever and they annoy me& a lot but at the same time. HE LITERALLY LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE ME& CAN HE STOPPPP. Fuckass paratype ughhhh

[jacks-manidiary]

Craziest thing is that I&'m legit a bit of a housewife and mom friend if you think about it. Like honestly I&'m realizing this is not just a right now thing but despite what I& like to fantacize about I& was legit ready to drop everything and help whenever somebody needed me& and one of the main things I& derived happiness and meaning in life from was taking care of property and just developing a humble little abode. Had I& more energy and will to exist at the time the hotel would have looked PRISTINE

[jacks-manidiary]

there are things i wanna be that i already was

[jacks-manidiary]

Тематику перекладу термінології та створення otherkin спільноти українською я& вже підіймав у теґах піл іншим схожим постом про таку ж саму проблему іспанською. Коротко кажучи, я& боюся розповсюдження ідеї, що існують українці які не є людьми. Легко казати що ти звір а не людина, коли твою націю не винищюють. Але незважаючи на це, я& вважаю важливим хоча б мати термінологію, щоб це було легше обговорювати. Тому ось моя спроба локалізації деяких розповсюджених термінів українською.

Отже поперше, "otherkin". Вікіпедія на мій& подив вже має досить добре написану статтю про "азеркінів", але я& не задоволений простою транслітерацію з англійської. У той же самій статті термін також переклали як "іншорідні", і мені& подобається ідея перекладати суфікс "-kin" як "-рідний", але саме по собі слово "іншорідний" вже існує поза рамками специфічної термінології, і може спричинити недорозуміння.

В принципі це невелика проблема, і я& б не проти просто використовувати що вже існує, але англійською цей термін також функціонує як назва усієї загальної спільноти, і для знайдення інших (хех) як і ти. Історично ця "іншість" виникла від потреби розрізняти між ельфами та не-ельфами, яле тут ми по суті починаємо без будь якої історії, з іншим контекстом. Складно придумати краще слово, що включає у себе як вигаданих так і реальних істот, але пропоную "сутньорідний" - від слова "сутність".

Отже, otherkin - іншорідний, чи сутньорідний. Kintype - рід.

У собі це слово вже включає в собі все теж саме, що і "alterhuman", але на всяк випадок ми можемо перекласти це як інаколюдина. Щось інакше, окрім людини, чи людина яка інака.

"Shifting" пішло від "shapeshifting", мінливість, і я& не бачу причини міняти (хех 2) цей переклад. Приклад: Ментально, астрально чи фантомно міняюсь на свій рід. Десять тисяч різних видів мінливості перекладати не буду, бо не бачу потреби.

"Therianthropy" вже перекладають як теріантропію. Оскільки обидва корені слова походять з грецької мови, вважаю що це також змінювати не обов'язково, але як альтернативу все одно пропоную звірорідність. Чи звіролюдина або просто звір/тварина замість теріана.

Зобов'язаний хоча б заради самого себе також перекласти "fictionkin". Особисто мені подобається вигадкорідний.

Якщо в когось є інша думка щодо цих перекладів, щиро запрошую залишити відповідь. Хейт, звісно ж, іде в бан, але запрошую на дискусію будь кого, навіть якщо не сутньорідний.

English translation below cut for the curious

The topic of translating terminology and creating an otherkin community in Ukrainian was already raised in my& tags under a similar post about the same problem in Spanish. Long story short, I& fear the spread of the idea, that there exist Ukrainians that aren't humans. It's easy to say that you're an animal and not a human when your nation isn't being exterminated. But despite that, I& find it important to at least have the terminology to discuss this easier. So here's my& attempt at localizing some widespread terminology in Ukrainian.

First of all, "otherkin". Wikipedia, to my& surprise, already has a pretty well written article about "азеркін", but I& am not satisfied with a simple English transliteration. In the very same article the term was also translated as "іншорідні", and I& like the idea of translating the suffix "-kin" as "-рідний", but on its own the word "іншорідний" already exists outside of the framework of specific terminology, and can cause misunderstanding.

In theory this is not a big problem, and I&'m not against using what already exists, but in English this term also functions as the name for the entire community, and for finding others (heh) like you. Historically this "otherness" appeared out of the need to distinguish between elves and non-elves, but here we're basically starting with no history, with a different context. It's difficult to come up with a better word that includes both fictional and real creatures, but I& propose "сутньорідний" - from the word "сутність".

So, otherkin - іншорідний, or сутньорідний. Kintype - рід.

In itself this word already includes all the same that alterhuman does, but just in case we can translate this as "інаколюдина". Something other than a human, or a human that is other.

Shifting came from shapeshifting, "мінливість", and I& see no reason to shift around (heh 2) this translation. Example: "Ментально, астрально чи фантомно міняюсь на свій рід". I& will not be translating the ten thousand different kinds of shifting, as I& see no need.

Therianthropy is already translated as "теріантропія". Since both root words come from the greek language, I& think this is also not necessary to change, but as an alternative I& propose "звірорідність" anyway. Or "звіролюдина" or simply beast/animal instead of "теріан".

I& am obligated at least for my& own sake to also translate fictionkin. Personally I& like "вигадкорідний".

If anyone has any other opinion about these translations, you're gladly welcome to leave a reply. Hate, obviously, will get blocked, but everyone is invited to the discussion, even if not otherkin.

[jacks-manidiary]

As of late, I& pretty much stopped having phantom shifts. They weren't awfully strong before anyway, and wearing gear actually lessened them (but I& preferred the comfort of a more intact body over being able to feel a tail that isn't there). And I& think this has nothing to do with my& fictionlink origins.

When I& first spawned on DSMP, I& was an ordinary human. It wasn't until I& went to hell after my& death that I& got my& horns and tail. It took a while to adjust. It was uncomfortable for a while, living with new body parts, but eventually I& got used to it.

I& think, now that I&'m human again, I&'m simply getting used to living like this again. For a while after my& walk-in, the shifts I& had were a sort of inertia that is now wearing off. And there's nothing odd about that.

[jacks-manidiary]

Anglocentrism in alterhuman communities: ramblings of a Spanish-speaking dragon and a cat

[original in spanish here, though i have no doubt that this version will be disseminated more widely] • [original en español aquí, aunque tengo la certeza de que esta versión se difundirá más ampliamente]

this post was originally written as part of The Sol System's Alterhuman Writing Challenge. written by @talon-dragonbeast, with the help of my sibling @watcherwingedcat. we hope you like it!

word count: 2422

This writing, which is more of a rant with myself than a proper essay, is one I've been meaning to write for a long time; ever since I first joined an online community, to be more precise. Anglocentrism, according to Wikipedia (and yes, the irony of the article not being available in Spanish is not lost to me), is "the practice of viewing the world primarily through the lens of English or Anglo-American culture, language, and values, often marginalizing or disparaging non-English-speaking or non-Anglo perspectives."

If you are monolingual and your native language is English, chances are you have never stopped to think about the advantage this gives you over those of us who are not so fortunate as to be born with the lingua franca on our lips. Yes, you may have had to study some Spanish in school, but let's be honest, very few people remember what they learn in elementary school. As an English speaker, the whole world is built for you, and it's the rest of us who have to fit your mold. Culture, scientific articles, movies, books, video games, the internet, online communities, technical language, educational videos: even in the most international spaces, everything revolves around English. Which brings me to the subject of this writing: The Alterhuman community.

My name (as I am known on the internet, at least) is Talon. I've been a member of the alterhuman community, and more specifically, the otherkin community, for a little over a year now. Otherkin (a word that comes from other, in Spanish otros; and kin, shortened form of kind, in Spanish tipo) are people who identify as nonhuman in some way. For example, I identify as a dragon (among other things), and that's what I am, even if I look human on the outside and am perceived as such. There are many reasons why someone might believe they are not human, but I'm not here to discuss that, so let's get back to the topic at hand.

Since I've been in this community, I haven't written a single post in Spanish. And not for lack of desire, nor because I am intimidated to share something as personal as my mother tongue. No, the reason is simple: The community does not exist in any language other than English. By this I don't mean that there are no non-humans outside of England or the United States, because of course there are (even if they are on other platforms like TikTok or Instagram), and I'll talk about those later. But simply put, the reason you don't see many alterhuman communities in other languages is because all the resources, the introductions, the chronologies of the (English) alterhuman community, the definitions of the terms, the terms themselves, everything is in English.

I have always been bilingual. Well, trilingual actually, although my third language is not too relevant in my day to day life and I only use it in classes or when someone starts a conversation in the language. It's hard to explain how your brain works when you speak multiple languages fluently, but basically it's like running two parallel systems at the same time, but with thoughts. I don't usually think with words, but when I do it usually happens that some of my thoughts are in Spanish, and others in English, roughly in a 50/50 ratio. Or it can also happen that I start the thought in one language, but finish it in another. Or I may try to use a specific word in English that does not have an exact translation into Spanish, so that when translated literally the sentence does not make sense. Basically, everything I write or say out loud I have to run it through several filters first, one to remove the words from the other language, one to find the words to replace them with, and one to make the sentence make sense. Sounds exhausting, doesn't it? It is. Now imagine if in order to express yourself as you really are, in order to participate in a community with beings who understand and accept you like no other, you had to basically suppress half of who you are, all the time.

The problem is not only not being able to use my native language to express myself. As I have demonstrated in the last year and a half that I have been in this community, I am fluent enough in English not only to be understood when I speak, but also to express such complicated concepts as the self, human nature, the psychology of being, and all that comes with existing as nonhuman. The real problem comes when I try to express relatively common alterhuman concepts in my native language. I'm not just talking about labels like otherkin or therianthrope, which can be adapted to Spanish with relative ease. It's the little things, the simplest things.

For example, the term shift. The word itself is already difficult to translate; during my searches, I found a glossary of terms on the Otherkin Hispano website in which they call them "desplazamientos", which... is an accurate translation, I guess, but impossible to use comfortably in everyday life. There are also terms whose definitions use expressions that simply cannot be translated into other languages. For example, otherkin and otherhearted. In English, the difference between these two terms is that otherkin means "[to] identify as" while otherhearted is "[to] identify with". But this is a purely English expression. In other languages, the distinction does not exist, or it makes no sense to use it; therefore, these terms are totally inaccessible to any international user. Or compound words like "catkin", which are difficult to express in other languages. According to Otherkin Hispano, in Spanish it would be said as is without translation, Soy catkin. But that... is not grammatically correct, since it would be mixing two languages in the same sentence. The most appropriate would be to say Soy gatokin, which sounds wrong and doesn't make sense anyway, because kin is still an English word. Or "hearttype", which in Spanish could be roughly translated as "tipo del corazón" (kind of [the] heart). When saying that you have a specific hearttype, for example "corvidhearted", one way of expressing it could be a simple Soy corvidhearted, which carries the same problems as catkin. Or you could, as Wikipedia advises, say Soy corazón de córvido ("I am heart of corvid"). I don't dislike it, to be honest, but some might find it too metaphorical or poetic.

Finally, and before reaching the conclusion, I want to dedicate a few paragraphs to talk about the alterhuman community that exists in other languages. I mentioned before these communities; that although they do exist, they are very scattered through platforms such as TikTok or Instagram, with which I am not so familiar. But since I can't talk about Anglocentrism without at least talking about the Spanish-speaking alterhuman community, I asked my sibling Watcher @watcherwingedcat what it thought about the topic. This is what they wrote:

Hi guys, I'm Watcher, and I'm here to talk a bit about the Spanish-speaking therian community, which I think is the pristine example of the hate we receive both from people outside the community and from those inside, both Spanish and South American. While this post focused more on the language barriers, I want to focus on the real consequences of this barrier, how it divides us in the way we interact with each other: The social part of this whole thing (as I already said some other time or another and some of my followers know, I am studying Social Education, so from my point of view the social part is very relevant for everything we do). As my sister already said (hi Talon!), the English community is the majority in alterhuman spaces, but, what is the Spanish-speaking community really like?

Not very large, is the answer. The term itself is not very widespread, and the community is quite small. However, after a while of searching, I found it in a little corner of the internet. When I found a community in my own language, I was excited, but my curiosity and joy were soon extinguished... When I saw the reactions to their videos and posts on tiktok mainly. They were packed with hate messages. Packed. If you think hate in the English community is bad, you are not prepared for the hate received in other communities, especially the Spanish one. This is more a matter of culture, a little bit also due to the closed mindedness in countries like Spain, Argentina, or Colombia.

In general, the non-humans of the Spanish-speaking community mostly post about quadrobics and masks. At least, I haven't seen much beyond that, and the community is mostly in tiktok. And the reception of their expression of way of being? Disgusting. To give an example of how bad the hate is, in one of the videos I found (I think it was a therian making a mask or something), humans and non-humans were insulting the therian posting the video, discussions about how we are crazy and sick in the head and should be in mental institutions... It was horrible. The worst were the death threats, even, wishing the therian to die, or hang themselves, or worse (I've even seen rape threats). Comments that said things like, "If my sister told me she was a dog I would take her clothes off and force her to sleep outside and eat animal food, if she wants to be a dog I will treat her like one." Threats of abuse, both physical and sexual... Absolutely disgusting. And the worst thing is that the tiktok platform did not remove these hate accounts, the copy and paste messages of insults, the threats....

I am proud of the Hispanic community for being so open about their identity, don't get me wrong, but there are times when it is safer to just not share that part of who we are with others, especially if you are a minor and vulnerable. That's another issue that concerns me, as I've seen people coming out to parents, siblings, friends, and them just belittling them. That, coupled with misinformation, is a recipe for disaster.

I couldn't help but notice the deep root of misinformation in the non-human community itself. They confuse definitions, the different terms, which leads them to spread even more misinformation. This I don't think is entirely their fault, or that they are so young for the most part, as I have not seen Hispanic therians over the age of 18. I think this is largely due (as Talon already mentioned) to the language difference, and the lack of translation of certain terms. In general, when talking to friends with whom I am open about my non-humanity, I use English terms. It is a little weird to use those words in English while speaking in Spanish, but I am bilingual and for now there is no solution to that. I think the Spanish community would benefit from spreading correct information, and having a platform to express themselves with their own, like tumblr is for the English community. Something my sister expands on in dreir post. As for me here I finish my little comment, I'll leave you with Talon now. Watcher out.

As a conclusion, I would like to talk about the consequences that Anglocentrism might have on non-English speaking alterhumans, and then propose some ideas on how we might begin to address (or at least mitigate) it as a community.

First of all it is the obvious; the vast majority of non-English speaking alterhumans simply never realize that they are alterhumans in the first place, on account of the language barrier. All of the resources for beings who are questioning their humanity or lack thereof are in English, so they are not accessible to people who don't understand the language; therefore, a non-English speaker would have a much harder time accessing them. Another consequence is not being able to express your alterhumanity fully, both internally and externally. Remember when I mentioned that my thoughts are evenly distributed between English and Spanish, always keeping a 50/50 ratio? Well, recently, I have noticed that when reflecting on my identity as a dragon, all my thoughts are automatically generated in English. I find this deeply shocking, as I feel that a fundamental part of my identity is being eroded. It is devastating to feel that you can only express half of who you are, suppressing what could otherwise be a complex and multifaceted identity. Not being able to express myself in my other language limits my ability to explore that part of myself.

Anglocentrism is a cycle that never ends; since all the resources are in English, no members in other languages can join, and since there are no members in other languages, all the resources that are created are in English. And while I wish I could say that I have a solution to end this Anglocentrism once and for all, unfortunately, I do not. I am only one person (dragon), and this is a problem that I alone cannot solve. True, there have been some commendable attempts by the international community (translations of writings, alterhuman blogs in languages other than English, the Eurokin server on Discord are some examples); however, these initiatives often don't often get very far because of the very nature of the community. As I have already said, most of the alterhumans are North American or English, therefore any attempt to globalize the community would be restricted by the fact that there are not many members who would be interested in this in the first place. So what can we do to change this? The answer lies in you, reader. If you have a second language, encourage yourself to create writings in it from time to time. If you come from a culture other than the mainstream, talk about how that affects your identity. If you have traditions specific to your country that you believe are alterhuman in nature, share them. And if you are part of the English-speaking majority, I invite you to contribute in a positive way through simple actions, such as listening to us when we express ourselves in other languages, recognizing that we do not all share the same culture, and keeping an open mind when discussing topics that may be unfamiliar to you. Our strength as a community lies in the diversity of our members; let's embrace it.

[jacks-manidiary]

I&'LL FINALLY GET TO SEE MY& HOME AGAIN

[jacks-manidiary]

AYUP BIG MAN

it’s the innit.

how are you doing on this fine afternoon :>

-🌼💿

AY THERE. doin fine not much is happening I&'m literally just chilling and chatting with friends